Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Masaki Haruna
Raw
Avatar of Masaki Haruna

Masaki Haruna OLD TESTAMENT

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

Yeah, I suppose I can make an intro post about Ria and her official debut shall be when she finally gets a team but then again I could be on Team Earth since it's obvious that Sensei is a fire specialist and you guys know the rest...... But there's a saying ,"Expect the unexpected!"
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Durnehviir
Raw
Avatar of Durnehviir

Durnehviir

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

I'm sure it's just you, Marrow.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Dystopia
Raw

Dystopia

Member Offline since relaunch

So, Innue's Shiƍ is Kami's teammate? I'll try to get my intro post done tomorrow.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Salroka
Raw
Avatar of Salroka

Salroka Antivan Crow

Member Seen 1 yr ago

Durnehviir said I'm guessing (hoping) you spoke with Prince about the team decisions instead though and that would override anything I was looking to try to do for the rp.


The only thing I KNEW was that he wanted to make a medic team, hence the one assignment. The others, if you recall, were "tentative" assignments that I remember noting were subject to change. As for speaking to Prince, he had more important things on his plate right now, hence assigning us to do stuff.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Tuujaimaa
Raw
Avatar of Tuujaimaa

Tuujaimaa The Saint of Wings

Member Seen 15 hrs ago

I feel like having one Medi-nin on as many teams as possible is a smarter option. People are going to get hurt, after all, and not having a medic on one's team could end badly.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Marrow
Raw

Marrow

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

i suppose either one of every team could at least learn basic healing... in our team that would probably be Mirth's character but it might as well be Maruki or Shisen. not everyone has to be an expert medical nin...

just thinking loudly, silently I agree with tuuj (but i like team moon like it is now)
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by gothpuppy95
Raw

gothpuppy95

Member Seen 10 yrs ago

I made a change to my sheet because I did not realize the Generic Sealing Technique was counted among non academy Jutsu so I added it
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Marrow
Raw

Marrow

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

you could also distribute team sea to the team Earth and star team and then you have four, four man teams
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
Raw
GM

Prince

Banned Seen 2 yrs ago

I have designed the current setup so that Jounin have three genin and chuunin have two.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Salroka
Raw
Avatar of Salroka

Salroka Antivan Crow

Member Seen 1 yr ago

Marrow. For future reference, the CS IC is for characters only... not for random derping. Please do not do that again.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Marrow
Raw

Marrow

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

imma sorry... shin uzumaki is secretly abarai renji... imagine the awesome crossover
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
Raw
GM

Prince

Banned Seen 2 yrs ago

I don't see any reason why..
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Ouroboros
Raw

Ouroboros

Member Seen 9 yrs ago

Name: Namine Akizakura
Age|Gender: 12|Female
Alliance: Konoha
Rank: Genin - C
Clan: The Akizakura clan, named for the cosmos flower which symbolizes order, beauty, and balance, traits found in many of the Akizakura clan, especially their women. They are known for having strawberry blonde, blonde or sometimes even dark red hair, either wavy or straight. The women's role is anything but just a caregiver in this clan, as the Akizakura are a clan that has had to defend themselves from persecution more than once, and are masters of the art of deception and self-defense. Their unique Kekkei Genkai allows them to fool and deceive their opponents very easily, but requires a quelled ego and a witty mind. Few members of the Akizakura actually possess the Jibun no Shindo, and even fewer can master it.

The Jibun no Shindo originated in a woman born before the first Shinobi war, long before Sai the Conqueror was alive. The woman was Kaguya Akizakura, a balanced woman of great strength who preached that women were just as good of fighters as men were, as many women felt their place was at home playing the role of a caregiver. Kaguya agreed only with the point of women being excellent caregivers, as she herself was a mother who embraced her maternal instincts and spread love to everyone she met. She was a beautiful soul, and had a flawless body to match. However, she preached that women should not be subservient in a Shinobi society due to their maternity, rather it gave them the strength to be some of the greatest Kunoichi ever. The maternal instinct and the nature of wanting to protect what one loves, especially one's children, she taught that these emotions of love were the most powerful weapons any Shinobi could learn to utilize.

This was not all. Along with embracing one's own emotions to be utilized as strength, she spoke of tolerance and understanding, that the emotions of others were a product of their experiences, and people did not choose to be how they were, they merely act based on how they view a situation. Kaguya taught compassion and empathy, to learn from others' perspectives and to take strength from them as well, for the world was not to be experienced alone. She said that the world itself had a soul, just like each human did. And the soul of the universe was within us all, we simply had to find it. She said that each and every object and organism of the universe had its own soul, memories and purpose here. Kaguya had the insight to be able to see into objects and discern their past leading up to the present, and was able to discern how situations would unfold based off of the emotion's of others around her. She became so in tune with the souls of those around her that she could temporarily blend her own soul with them, assimilating them as part of herself. She spoke of the process in which we all touch each other's souls upon meeting in some form, and that each person you interact with retains a part of you from that interaction, and with each successive interaction the part of you that is in them will grow. And so Kaguya lived by these beliefs, and collected parts of all the souls she came across, and so she loved them, just as she loved her family.

Thus, the Akizakura clan was born. To her daughter, and her granddaughter, and her great granddaughter, until she passed, she taught to embrace their emotions and to always be weary of the emotions of others. And so, every woman that was born throughout her lineage was birthed with the gift to be in tune with one's own soul, and to be in tune with the souls of others and of the world around them.

Kekkei Genkai: Jibun no Shindo (Vibration of Oneself) - This is a powerful Kekkei Genkai centered around the feelings of the user. All who possess this Kekkei Genkai are extremely empathic by nature and can literally feel others' emotions when they are near them. When the wielder of this Kekkei Genkai builds a strong bond with another person or animal, they can feel strong emotions come from them from very far away, and in return those who connect with an Akizakura will feel surges of emotion from them occasionally. This causes confusion in young Akizakura who are not used to feeling such strong emotional tides, and often takes years of getting used to to be able to discern the emotions apart from one another.

Beyond feeling just mere emotions, anyone possessing the Jibun no Shindo is capable of feeling another's energy in various forms, most notably the ability to feel their chakra and changes in one's chakra without even having to look at them. With this, Akizakura are some of the most skilled sensors in the world as they can track down individual chakra signatures over vast distances as long as they have 'felt' their chakra presence before and are also human lie detectors in the manner of detecting subtle differences in one's body and chakra when they lie. Those possessing the Jibun no Shindo can feel the heartbeats and presences of others around them, and can feel various forms of chakra. For example, an Akizakura with this Kekkei Genkai can feel the chakra nature of someone they are near, for each person's chakra is unique. In the same rite, they can feel when they are in a Genjutsu due to the chakra disturbances in their body and in the area. This level of awareness can be very overwhelming at times, especially when emotions run high and there is a lot going on around them. However it is a blessing, as the Akizakura are nearly always aware of their surroundings due to their ability to feel and process the energy of the atmosphere, limited only by how much control and progression they have with their Kekkei Genkai. The connections the user develops with this Kekkei Genkai are for life, so once they have registered a person's unique chakra signature and felt their energy, they can track them over great distances. The range of their Kekkei Genkai is only limited by the user's concentration and personal skill with Jibun no Shindo.

This Kekkei Genkai is unique in the way that some Akizakura have developed it. Users are able to feel objects and 'empathize' with them, literally assimilating part of the substance into their own body and taking on its properties via a connection between the physical energy of the object and the user. e.g. the user touches metal and assimilates it into their arm, giving their arm metallic properties for a short duration, or until the user willfully cancels it. This gives birth to hundreds of possibilities, and by assimilating with the Chakra of another they are able to gain insight into their abilities. The assimilation aspect is hard to control and due to this, young Akizakura may only assimilate parts of their body with objects at a time, and cannot perform full-body assimilations just yet, nor can they perform multiple assimilations at once.

A very special trait of this Kekkei Genkai, which only a fraction of those who are born with the Jibun no Shindo are then also born with this, is the ability to feel deep connections within entities through mere touch by assimilating part of their chakra and soul into them, forming a deep bond where the user unifies themselves with the entity. For example, when the wielder of this unique trait touches a sword, they will gain the knowledge of the identities of all members of the Jibun no Shindo who have wielded the sword, and knowledge of all battles that sword has taken part in, and the events leading to how the sword is where it is now. Using this skill on items not possessed by those with the Jibun no Shindo require longer periods of sustained connection in order to 'feel' through deeper memories of the object, making its application in battle for nothing more than shart flashes of memory. In this way, the user cannot simply pick up a sword and learn its entire history, but must train with it and personally meditate with it to unlock its full spectrum of memories. This skill is emotionally overwhelming as it transfers memories and experiences into the user rapidly, which is a portal for negative emotions and positive emotions alike into the user. As such, it cannot be used continuously as it drains the user's mental energy. When used on another person the amount of knowledge and experience seen from them depends on how long contact is established, as such small periods of contact will only allow for a light form of insight into the energy of the person, like clues about their past and personality, and their nature as human beings. Long periods of contact allow for a much deeper connection to be established, similar to seeing another's life through their point of view, however this cannot be done to immediately gain skills or techniques from another, as it would still require first-hand practice in order to learn anything they have been given insight to, akin to learning in theory but not learning through personal application to said concepts.

Traits: Namine is a very intelligent, calm girl. She may seem soft and starry-eyed, but she is a strong young lady who has been through a lot in her lifetime. She passively feels the energy of everything around her. Her chakra control is very astute for a young Genin and possibly one of her strongest areas.



History: Namine was born during turbulent times. The Akizakura clan did not have much of a name for itself, as their abilities included much deception and avoidance of combat unless necessary. Despite those facts, all clans were being hunted down and regardless of their abilities, the Akizakura were targeted. In a clan full of sensors, you'd think they had each other's backs and could stay out of trouble. This was not the case as some might have liked to think... Special tactics of surrounding and flushing out the Akizakura were developed to force them out of hiding. When they could not hide, the clan members proudly stood together in the face of danger.

Namine's father died in the first massacre of the Akizakura. Her mother took her, a mere baby at the time who could not hide herself, and the Nuru-Kukan no Tachi away from their home of Konohagakure. They were on the run for a while, and it was hard to keep away from Sai's regime of Shinobi-murderers. Her mother was a valiant woman who vowed to protect her daughter with her life. The love of her mother kept her alive, and she memorized the warm feeling of love that her mother brought her with her Kekkei Genkai.

The women of the Akizakura are strong, maternal caregivers, full of love and charity. These traits were passed down to Namine, in addition to the balance and beauty that her mother was known for. Namine's mother was the matriarch of the clan at the time, so her face was well-known in some parts of the country.

She did her best to hide from the world, but the search for her existence grew as Sai's need to exterminate all Shinobi was growing. Her mother hid for years, but it was not enough. She could sense the members of Sai's regime drawing closer each day, and eventually made the toughest decision of her life. She relinquished possession of Namine over to an orphanage, explaining to the young girl that she must hide herself at whatever cost, for she was a unique soul that was meant to bring love into a new era of the Shinobi world. She promised that one day Namine would never have to hide her identity, and that she would be one to usher in a new order to the world.

Her mother was found and was killed, not before putting up the fight of her life. She fought without Nuru-Kukan no Tachi, the blade that she left to her daughter. Namine grew up alone and resisted any form of connection from those around her. A few short years after her mother died, Sai the Conqueror was executed. It was hard for her to understand, all she knew was that Sai was the bad man who had her mother hunted down. Her mother's parting words stuck with her for the rest of her life, echoing through her dreams and guiding her through life with the promise of peace.

When Sai's regime ended and the resistance took over, Namine returned to Konohagakure an orphan. Any of her relatives that survived could not be found, as they most likely fled and went into hiding. A memorial was set up for her mother, as she was a prominent figure in Konoha before the war. She currently lives in an orphanage in Konoha, but has since graduated from the Shinobi Academy and become a Genin. Her chakra control was her focus, as she was gifted in it like her mother. The only Jutsu she knows are the ones inherited from her clan and the few taught to her in her pursuit of becoming a medical ninja.

Personality: Namine is a shy girl, though it does not seem this way due ot her constant connection with the internal world, and her Kekkei Genkai being a bridge from the external world into her internal mind. She constantly switches between the two, from taking in all of the energy around her, to withdrawing herself into her own little bubble. She is pensive, forming opinions of others and scenarios based on not only her thoughts and emotions but from the emotions that others give off pertaining to what she is thinking about.

She is a very aware girl who does not miss a beat, keeping up in conversation easily due to her ability to anticipate others' actions based on their feelings and body language, which her sensory abilities remind her of often. Her analytical mind only hinders her when she is alone and her thoughts are left to race each other in circles, leading to over-analyzing and occasional bouts of depression. Deep down, she is a strong girl mentally who deals with tragedy well. Due to her Jibun no Shindo she is highly capable of dealing with her emotions and counseling others with theirs.

Her clairvoyant ability to feel the memories of those who she comes into contact with either through personal connection or the assimilation of objects gives her knowledge and wisdom beyond her years, and is often thought to be much older than she truly is because of this. A mature girl for her age, she is very outgoing and takes on new experience with an open heart. She is full of love straight down to the core, and enjoys spreading this love very much, while she is not hesitant to guard it from evil who seek to destroy it.

Combat Style: Namine remains distant from combat as a medical nin. Her sensory and emotional abilities are better used at a distance, not engaged directly in battle. Some think she is unskilled in the art of combat, but that cannot be further from the truth. All Akizakura women are instructed in self-defense, and Namine has embraced that aspect of her clan. She was first taught deception, how to avoid battle, before being taught how to mentally and physically deal with confrontation. While she is a fragile woman, her agility and reflexes are her strong suits when it comes to battle. She is stern and determined, never losing focus of her opponents. She combines this with the nimble gracefulness of her personality, coordinating them to form an elegant form of combat.
Nature Release: Undiscovered

Jutsu List
Generic Sealing
Chakra no Mesu (In the process of learning to wield it during battle, can make fine incisions in medical instances

Jutsu Name: Sakuzuke Ne (Planting Roots)
Jutsu Type: Sensory Ninjutsu
Effective Range: The range of Jibun no Shindo
Nature Type: N/A
Descriptions: Upon placing a small portion of the user's chakra into a person or object, an Akizakura using the Jibun no Shindo can feel the location of where their chakra is at all times, meaning this technique is used to track objects and people that she has become a part of by placing her chakra within them, thus combining her energy with the physical energy of the object. More skilled Akizakura can use this technique to obtain visual images of where the item/person containing their chakra is, or to obtain sensory information from the area.

By assimilating her chakra with another person, she is able to gain insight into their emotions, taking them on as if they were her own. These feelings must be balanced out within the user in order to correctly deal with them and keep her mind in order. In addition to feeling the emotions of the other, she is able to track their whereabouts by sensing the chakra within them. This allows for the simple application of certain Genjutsu as their is already a chakra connection established.
Drawbacks: Usefulness of the technique depends on the skill of the user and their progression with the Jibun no Shindo.

Jutsu Name: Chishikiji Douka (Information Tree Assimilation)
Jutsu Type: Ninjutsu
Effective Range: Touch
Nature Type: N/A
Descriptions: The user of the Jibun no Shindo is able to touch an object and feel its properties, as members of this clan believe everything that has matter, has a soul. Thus by assimilating them into their own body they may borrow these properties for a short while via a connection between her chakra and the object. These borrowed aspects can be almost anything, and allow the user a variety of options in the midst of a fight.
Drawbacks: As she is very young, Namine can only assimilate one part of her body at a time, usually her arms or legs. She may only perform one assimilation at a time, and requires continuous chakra the longer she remains assimilated.

Jutsu Name: Itowohiku (Pulling the Strings)
Jutsu Type: Genjutsu
Effective Range: The range of Jibun no Shindo
Nature Type: N/A
Descriptions: The ability of an Akizakura to force their will and emotions upon others. By empathizing with someone, she can transfer subtle thoughts, suggestions and emotions to their being. These effects can be resisted but due to the subtle nature of this Genjutsu it is hard to realize that a Genjutsu is being afflicted.
Drawbacks: As a Genin, Namine cannot overpower the will of more powerful Shinobi than her, however she is still able to subtly influence their emotions.

Weaponry: On her wrists, there are tattooed generic seals that correspond with generic Shinobi tools, including but not limited to kunai, shuriken, senbon, ninja wire, explosive tags, kodachi, medical tools, flasks of water, flash bombs, smoke bombs,

Nuru-Kukan no Tachi (Null-Void Blade) - A blade passed down through the women of the Akizakura clan. The sword is very powerful, and grows with the user as it is wielded. It is never carried, merely summoned to the user's hand through a generic seal, which can be used to summon the blade regardless of its location. The blade is somewhat sentient in a way, as it contains all the memories and experiences of those who wielded it, and will give the wielder visions of those experiences and emotions over time to facilitate the growth of the wielder. Rare Akizakura members possessing the ability to 'feel' the memories of what they touch can access these memories and experiences on their own when called upon. Throughout the clan's history the sword is passed down from the oldest woman of the clan to her daughter, who is instructed to pass it onto her daughter, or in case of a woman born without daughters, to the next youngest girl in the clan. It is used for protection and growth, as a clan revolving mainly around matriarchal principles it is not abnormal to pass down such a powerful sword to young, developing kunoichi. The sword's power lies in its ability to neutralize energy. The primary function of the blade is to calm the wielder of the emotional stress put on them from their Jibun no Shindo, allowing clarity of thought amidst even the most tumultuous of situations. The blade's reputation of being incredibly powerful comes from the fact that it is ideal for disrupting and counteracting Jutsu (especially Ninjutsu) by nullifying the effects of chakra, however the blade comes at a cost. Wielding it outside of its sheathe comes with a constant chakra drain. As a Genin, Namine can only hold the sword outside of its sheathe for one and a half minutes before she will pass out from chakra exhaustion. This itself is an impressive feat for a Genin, which only comes from the acute level of control she has obtained over her chakra. As her chakra control and the amount of chakra she has increases going into adulthood, so will her skill with this sword.

Miscellaneous: The name Akizakura Namine means Cosmos, A blade to drive out evil spirits
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Durnehviir
Raw
Avatar of Durnehviir

Durnehviir

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

Firstly, nice bio and I really do like the Jibun no Shindo. I particularly like how it is translated. Vibration of Oneself. Sounds really cool. Empaths are typically fun to play too and I enjoyed the background and dynamic of the ability as a whole. It was well written and pretty nicely thought out. But! The only thing that I personally thought about it was that I felt that it had far too many different applications. It seems to me like it stretches into extremes. I feel like a few of the abilities didn't entirely fit the theme of an emphatically inclined ability. It felt like Mind's Eye of the Kagura with the ability to assimilate matter into ones body, manipulate the emotions of others, and psychometry all at once. I feel like empathy would be focused on a mental, neural, or emotional genetic ability, however a few of the applications seem like they'd honestly stem from more biological/physiological/elemental genetic abilities instead. Almost seems a little awkward at an attempt for versatility. I also feel like you didn't elaborate on just why this is a Kekkei Genkai enough. Like what are the physical, mental, and emotional adaptions that make the Akizakura so different from normal people? From what I read, I almost felt like you could simply things and make it a Hiden instead of an outright Kekkei Genkai. Maybe a little more buff and fluff to make Jibun no Shindo more of a Kekkei Genkai and not just a clan specialization technique.

I also think the assimilation technique should be a fairly high level technique. That coupled with the mystical palm technique which is also exceptionally high for a Genin to freely use. Both of which without any mentioned formal training by anyone (at least in reference to the bio).

I also think that a Medic Genin and a Swordsmen Genin and a Sensor/Scout Genin and a Chakra-control genius Genin are all very different emphasis for this character. They seem highly versatile for just a Genin fresh out of the academy.

Nice character overall though.
I enjoyed the bio. Though, the image is a little mature for a young 12 year old. haha.

I would suggest not making any changes yet until Prince or Beta have a chance to look over the character as well.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Ouroboros
Raw

Ouroboros

Member Seen 9 yrs ago

Durnehviir said
Firstly, nice bio and I really do like the Jibun no Shindo. I particularly like how it is translated. . Sounds really cool. Empaths are typically fun to play too and I enjoyed the background and dynamic of the ability as a whole. It was well written and pretty nicely thought out. But! The only thing that I personally thought about it was that I felt that it had far too many different applications. It seems to me like it stretches into extremes. I feel like a few of the abilities didn't entirely fit the theme of an emphatically inclined ability. It felt like Mind's Eye of the Kagura with the ability to assimilate matter into ones body, manipulate the emotions of others, and psychometry all at once. I feel like empathy would be focused on a mental, neural, or emotional genetic ability, however a few of the applications seem like they'd honestly stem from more biological/physiological/elemental genetic abilities instead. Almost seems a little awkward at an attempt for versatility. I also feel like you didn't elaborate on just why this is a Kekkei Genkai enough. Like what are the physical, mental, and emotional adaptions that make the Akizakura so different from normal people? From what I read, I almost felt like you could simply things and make it a Hiden instead of an outright Kekkei Genkai. Maybe a little more buff and fluff to make Jibun no Shindo more of a Kekkei Genkai and not just a clan specialization technique. I also think the assimilation technique should be a fairly high level technique. That coupled with the mystical palm technique which is also exceptionally high for a Genin to freely use. Both of which without any mentioned formal training by anyone (at least in reference to the bio). I also think that a Medic Genin and a Swordsmen Genin and a Sensor/Scout Genin and a Chakra-control genius Genin are all very different emphasis for this character. They seem highly versatile for just a Genin fresh out of the academy. Nice character overall though. I enjoyed the bio. Though, the image is a little mature for a young 12 year old. haha.I would suggest not making any changes yet until Prince or Beta have a chance to look over the character as well.


Thank you! This was very helpful, I'm grateful for the outside perspective, for this is a fresh character for this RP, not a rehashed idea of a previous character like I sometimes allow myself to do. ^_^ The versatility of the character was meant so that I could have her develop in a multitude of directions depending on where I wanted to take the character, it was not meant to be for the purpose of developing ALL of her strong points. The assimilation was an idea that I liked and wanted to fit into the character, so empathizing with the properties of an object seemed to be the way to go, giving her some combat application instead of a sensor who stood on the side and waited for someone to get injured :p But yes, I agree that it should be considered a high level technique, which is why I added limitations for a young user such as herself. The vast applications of assimilation without limits are too much for a mere Genin, obv.

I agree about the picture, I could not find a young enough female that fit what I was looking for, so I chose a suitable picture for what I would like her to grow into, and hopefully others can use their imagination to see a younger lady in the appearance as I do. n.n

I will highly consider adding more background to the Kekkei Genkai and clan history, but I await further critique first!
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Salroka
Raw
Avatar of Salroka

Salroka Antivan Crow

Member Seen 1 yr ago

Durnehviir said
Firstly, nice bio and I really do like the Jibun no Shindo. I particularly like how it is translated. . Sounds really cool. Empaths are typically fun to play too and I enjoyed the background and dynamic of the ability as a whole. It was well written and pretty nicely thought out. But! The only thing that I personally thought about it was that I felt that it had far too many different applications. It seems to me like it stretches into extremes. I feel like a few of the abilities didn't entirely fit the theme of an emphatically inclined ability. It felt like Mind's Eye of the Kagura with the ability to assimilate matter into ones body, manipulate the emotions of others, and psychometry all at once. I feel like empathy would be focused on a mental, neural, or emotional genetic ability, however a few of the applications seem like they'd honestly stem from more biological/physiological/elemental genetic abilities instead. Almost seems a little awkward at an attempt for versatility. I also feel like you didn't elaborate on just why this is a Kekkei Genkai enough. Like what are the physical, mental, and emotional adaptions that make the Akizakura so different from normal people? From what I read, I almost felt like you could simply things and make it a Hiden instead of an outright Kekkei Genkai. Maybe a little more buff and fluff to make Jibun no Shindo more of a Kekkei Genkai and not just a clan specialization technique.

I also think the assimilation technique should be a fairly high level technique. That coupled with the mystical palm technique which is also exceptionally high for a Genin to freely use. Both of which without any mentioned formal training by anyone (at least in reference to the bio).

I also think that a Medic Genin and a Swordsmen Genin and a Sensor/Scout Genin and a Chakra-control genius Genin are all very different emphasis for this character. They seem highly versatile for just a Genin fresh out of the academy.

Nice character overall though.
I enjoyed the bio. Though, the image is a little mature for a young 12 year old. haha.

I would suggest not making any changes yet until Prince or Beta have a chance to look over the character as well.


Durn pretty much hits the nail on the head. She's well written and an enjoyable read, but seems to be trying to specialize in more areas than a Genin should. Perhaps were she a few years older and a Chunin, it might have been perfectly acceptable.

Chakra Scalpel and Mystical Palm technique are bot fairly advanced techniques that are usually only known by Skilled and Medically focused Chunin or Jounin. I'm perfectly fine with her starting to get the hang of one of them, perhaps even being able to use it to a degree outside of battle. But not both. Or, alternatively... she could know the CONCEPT of both of them, but still only be allowed to practice on dummies/dissections/etc.

I also like her empathetic abilities, but there will need to be an understanding that you won't go batshit crazy with them. Similarly with the weapon as well. But the character is well written enough that I feel I can let that go and trust you to use your better judgment.

Lastly... yeah, that picture is... unf. For the sake of not summoning pedobear, maybe find something that would be more age-appropriate for her? I mean... a 12 year-old with boobs bigger than my hands? IT'S A TRAP! RUN!!!!!
If the requested edits/conditions are made/acceptable, then I will grant my approval.
Perhaps an image like this?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Ouroboros
Raw

Ouroboros

Member Seen 9 yrs ago

I thank you both very much! I have made changes to her bio as requested, and I'm much more pleased with this result. I've taken out Mystical Palm and will seek out a medical nin IC to begin that route should she take it, and I've placed a limitation on Chakra no Mesu. I implore you both to re-read her Clan description! There are changes there that I've added to flesh out the history of the Akizakura Kekkei Genkai so that it makes much more sense.

Also, her image has been updated, thank you very much Beta!! It looks so much more appropriate now xD

I await your reviews eagerly. n_n
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Salroka
Raw
Avatar of Salroka

Salroka Antivan Crow

Member Seen 1 yr ago

Requested Edits: Made.
Approval: Granted.
Now comes the waiting while we figure out what squad to put you in.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Marrow
Raw

Marrow

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

That'll be team Sea?

Also, Welcome to the RP Ouroboros
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Prince
Raw
GM

Prince

Banned Seen 2 yrs ago

This Kekkei Genkai is unique in the way that some Akizakura have developed it. Users are able to feel objects and 'empathize' with them, literally assimilating part of the substance into their own body and taking on its properties. e.g. the user touches metal and assimilates it into their arm, giving their arm metallic properties for a short duration, or until the user willfully cancels it. This gives birth to hundreds of possibilities, and by assimilating with the Chakra of another they are able to gain insight into their abilities. The assimilation aspect is hard to control and due to this, young Akizakura may only assimilate parts of their body with objects at a time, and cannot perform full-body assimilations just yet, nor can they perform multiple assimilations at once.

A very special trait of this Kekkei Genkai, which only a fraction of those who are born with the Jibun no Shindo are then also born with this, is the ability to feel deep connections within people and objects through mere touch. For example, when the wielder of this unique trait touches a sword, they will gain the knowledge of all who have wielded the sword, and knowledge of all battles that sword has taken part in, and the events leading to how the sword is where it is now. This skill is emotionally overwhelming as it transfers memories and experiences into the user rapidly, which is a portal for negative emotions and positive emotions alike into the user. As such, it cannot be used continuously and drains the user's mental energy.


Slow down just a wee moment. I literally jumped Innue, a Chuunin from the genius Nara clan, for having the ability to offensively use Chakra Scalpel even a little, much less a genin with little combat/surgical experience with it. Even if it's just a small scrape, a genin using it in that context is a) unfair considering the bar for the jutsu and medical jutsu in general that I have set for the roleplay b) a testament to chakra control that no genin-level shinobi should just outright have, especially without experience.

Aside from that,. I find the fact she can gain empathatic abilities from touching objects slightly absurd without the mention of physical chakra. I won't entirely say it's impossible, especially given realm of creativity, but I would like a mechanic of "chakra adaptation" to be applied, in which the Kekkei Genkai makes her chakra physically adapt to whatever chakra she "empathizes" with. If she's taking on the qualities of steel, she should be doing so because she has attached herself to said material and currently can form her own chakra to its, considering basically every material object has a physical chakra to it. In that sense, the jutsu is better understood, there is a mechanic behind it, and it can be dealt with by someone with similar sensory abilities, or merely Byakugan, Sharingan or Mind's Eye of Kagura. I believe you actually began along this thought, but I want it fleshed out more.

Another thing I want fleshed out more is the person-to-person assimilation. I want to know the exact potential of this.

Lastly, there is a mechanic here that has already existed within this specific continuum revolving around the... transmission of memories and skills through an object. In short, it could create someone just as if not more powerful than Sai, and for that fact was destroyed. i don't want something like that again, and I don't specifically like the idea of anyone getting the information and 'memory' of an object, considering there are items such as Shira or Kirugetsu's swords that could synergize so well with the ability that it could grow exponentially broken. If anything, I would push for the omission of this ability entirely due to its potential and difficulty to maintain.

Overall, I like the concept. I find it interesting, deep and refreshing, but there are certain aspects that I can see being used as functional conduits for more potential than even Shira, whom previously was the most controversial character accepted.
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet