Nero's gaze held steadfast on the ground as he felt Suto's hand on his shoulder. He didn't falter in the slightest, though his eyes remained wide open in terror. He waited... and waited... and finally, he looked at the boy, opened his mouth as if he were about to speak, and then thought better of it. His head turned away again and he rose to his feet, reclaiming his sword before slicing the air and slipping it back into its sheath. Kazaro, who had been furious moments before, softened slightly as he stood there, silent as a rock. Nero strode directly past him and as Alphard rallied herself he didn't reply. The indicator above his head was a vibrant green, but it may as well have been red, the way he saw it. He never should have invited them to join him - he could have lived and died alone. That would have been fine. But no, he had to have the power over this game... The squads, the parties, the clans, the guilds... whatever it was, he swallowed it up and left nothing but suffering behind him. That was what it was, right? Yari, Kenshin... who was next? Yuna? Kimi? Suto? He shoved those thoughts deeper and exhaled very slowly, gradually cutting each of those cords which the held him, a puppet to his conscience.
Meanwhile, Kimi was catching her breath from the most recent of fights. They weren't the most difficult of enemies - or they wouldn't have been, had they been able to actually fight. Sadly, Nero refused to fight back, and so the others had to double their efforts to finish the AI before it could kill him. Her rapier was long-since sheathed back at her hip as she puzzled over the reactions... The boy had seemed familiar, if only the very slightest amount... But the girl was absolutely a mystery to her. She had such a profound effect on Nero, and even Suto for a few moments. She thought back to when she had first encountered their group and wondered if she had been the one they were grieving that day... Even beyond the game's distortion of her, Kimi could tell that she was a very pretty girl, and Suto had spoken so highly of her before. She sighed and let her eyes scan over the entire group. Everybody wore their scars beneath their coats and their armours, but those old wounds seemed quite sensitive still, to her, as they were all shaken in their own ways by what just happened and the effects showed after. Save for Kazaro and Kimi, the entire group was incredibly rattled - but then, they were the only two who hadn't recognized the shapes that came forth from the sarcophagi.
Nero paused as eyes fell on him. When Yari had died - he was there. But he hadn't frozen, not like Fitch had. He fought all the harder for it. When Kenshin died, it was even his mission. But again, he was only fueled by it... So why, under this pressure, did he lock up? Everybody was still regrouping for themselves, but there was no denying what had happened against Yari. The hair on the back of Nero's neck pricked at him slightly and he knew that Suto was still behind him. He turned, keeping his voice low, "I very well can blame myself, Suto," He said, his voice almost venomous. Even his mind was telling him to shut the hell up and let it go, but his mouth had other ideas... He knew how much Suto had endured from the others in the past couple of months, but... He couldn't stop himself.
"Do you know why?" Lightning sparked between their eyes as Nero squared off, his gaze mere inches from Suto's as he spoke slowly. "Because... I wasn't their friend," He said flatly, swallowing as he worked to maintain his composure. "I'm not yours... and I'm not seeking your forgiveness for their deaths. Unless you and either of them were the exact same person, you don't have the authority to forgive me for it. Nobody does. We were business partners and it was on my watch that Kenshin died. I wasn't paying attention because I was busy trying to bolster my coffers. I didn't give them anything but suffering and danger... I haven't given that to any of you," He pointed out. "And in case you've forgotten, it was my inability to convince Kazaro otherwise that caused you to feel a need to stick your neck out for him."
His jaw set as he stopped talking for several moments, his eyes fishing for any kind of reaction in Suto's before, shakily, he continued, "Do you have any idea... what it's like..? You can try to think of it, Suto, to spend every night... every single god-forsaken night thinking about two people that you don't even know... or more... who have lost their lives due to your selfishness." His lip twitched slightly in contempt... but it wasn't for the boy in front of him, not even a little bit, it was all hatred toward himself. "To know that you've caused more tears... more sorrow... than you have smiles or gazes of hope. People who look at Kazaro? They see a leader... They see hope. People who look at you? They see a party - a way to escape from the horrible reality of this place. They look at... at Alphard, or Jason, or Kimi, or Sasayaku... And they see... something. They see a person. I've become nothing to the people of this world. They don't see a murderer. But I do. They don't need to see it because they see a greedy, self-righteous know-it-all with no sense of limitation." Nero's voice was void of emotion, despite the very occasional stutter or glance away. "So I have one question for you, Suto..."
The boy took a single, solitary step back, his brow furrowed deeply over his tired eyes. "What do you see... when you look at me?"
Meanwhile, Kimi was catching her breath from the most recent of fights. They weren't the most difficult of enemies - or they wouldn't have been, had they been able to actually fight. Sadly, Nero refused to fight back, and so the others had to double their efforts to finish the AI before it could kill him. Her rapier was long-since sheathed back at her hip as she puzzled over the reactions... The boy had seemed familiar, if only the very slightest amount... But the girl was absolutely a mystery to her. She had such a profound effect on Nero, and even Suto for a few moments. She thought back to when she had first encountered their group and wondered if she had been the one they were grieving that day... Even beyond the game's distortion of her, Kimi could tell that she was a very pretty girl, and Suto had spoken so highly of her before. She sighed and let her eyes scan over the entire group. Everybody wore their scars beneath their coats and their armours, but those old wounds seemed quite sensitive still, to her, as they were all shaken in their own ways by what just happened and the effects showed after. Save for Kazaro and Kimi, the entire group was incredibly rattled - but then, they were the only two who hadn't recognized the shapes that came forth from the sarcophagi.
Nero paused as eyes fell on him. When Yari had died - he was there. But he hadn't frozen, not like Fitch had. He fought all the harder for it. When Kenshin died, it was even his mission. But again, he was only fueled by it... So why, under this pressure, did he lock up? Everybody was still regrouping for themselves, but there was no denying what had happened against Yari. The hair on the back of Nero's neck pricked at him slightly and he knew that Suto was still behind him. He turned, keeping his voice low, "I very well can blame myself, Suto," He said, his voice almost venomous. Even his mind was telling him to shut the hell up and let it go, but his mouth had other ideas... He knew how much Suto had endured from the others in the past couple of months, but... He couldn't stop himself.
"Do you know why?" Lightning sparked between their eyes as Nero squared off, his gaze mere inches from Suto's as he spoke slowly. "Because... I wasn't their friend," He said flatly, swallowing as he worked to maintain his composure. "I'm not yours... and I'm not seeking your forgiveness for their deaths. Unless you and either of them were the exact same person, you don't have the authority to forgive me for it. Nobody does. We were business partners and it was on my watch that Kenshin died. I wasn't paying attention because I was busy trying to bolster my coffers. I didn't give them anything but suffering and danger... I haven't given that to any of you," He pointed out. "And in case you've forgotten, it was my inability to convince Kazaro otherwise that caused you to feel a need to stick your neck out for him."
His jaw set as he stopped talking for several moments, his eyes fishing for any kind of reaction in Suto's before, shakily, he continued, "Do you have any idea... what it's like..? You can try to think of it, Suto, to spend every night... every single god-forsaken night thinking about two people that you don't even know... or more... who have lost their lives due to your selfishness." His lip twitched slightly in contempt... but it wasn't for the boy in front of him, not even a little bit, it was all hatred toward himself. "To know that you've caused more tears... more sorrow... than you have smiles or gazes of hope. People who look at Kazaro? They see a leader... They see hope. People who look at you? They see a party - a way to escape from the horrible reality of this place. They look at... at Alphard, or Jason, or Kimi, or Sasayaku... And they see... something. They see a person. I've become nothing to the people of this world. They don't see a murderer. But I do. They don't need to see it because they see a greedy, self-righteous know-it-all with no sense of limitation." Nero's voice was void of emotion, despite the very occasional stutter or glance away. "So I have one question for you, Suto..."
The boy took a single, solitary step back, his brow furrowed deeply over his tired eyes. "What do you see... when you look at me?"