So mainly I'm here because I'm procrastinating...
But anyway... what's up peeps?
I couldn't remember the last time I posted in RPG,,, But wow I just looked and that was depressing... Anyway, life has gotten 1000000000000000000000000000000000000 times better since that post. I haven't thought about killing myself since that days. Although things haven't been perfect. If I ignored the bullshit it would seem pretty perfect. In the last four months since I've been here... I opened my own business, fell in love, got a job, went back to school, and was hospitalized several times! :D
To explain in more detail...
The first day I opened the doors of my business. Many people walked back into my life who I had not seen in years. Because they were my brothers friends from the firehouse he was involved in. And since he got married he cut them all out. So I really didn't get the oppurtunity to keep in touch with any of them as I was only 12ish when they stopped coming around. So that was great. But what makes it even better is that one of the guys who used to come around who I had a silly crush on from the time I even knew what it meant to have a crush on someone (I've known him forrrr nine years?) also walked back into my life. Of course, he hadn't seen me other than for five minutes in Wal-Mart one time back in the summer (Where I was too afraid to even talk to him because I realized I really liked him, even now) since I was 12. So I found myself still very much interested in him and again couldn't talk to him out of nerves. So I basically gave him his stuff he ordered and ran away to the backroom to hide from him until he left. Which is humorous because in the past I've never been nervous around guys I liked.So he was talking to my older sister for the majority of his visit. Which sucked for me because also in the past he really liked he and tried to date her but she would never date him because of his appearance. (He was too fat for her basically) So anyway. To cut this beautiful story a little shorter. He started to come in everyday to get food. And he would sit and talk with me for hours until the business closed every night. And after like a week or so after him doing this he asked if I wanted to try some of his cooking. (He's a chef and a really good one) So obviously since everything that happened to me at school I was kind of nervous about going out alone with a guy. But I knew he was a good guy before and I also know I can't live my life in fear. Because that isn't me at all. So the first night we hung out the entire night just talking and I never got home until 5:30 in the morning. For the first time in a long time I was actually happy. So anyway, after that night we became inseparable. Although I was afraid he was only hanging around because he felt sorry for me since I had no friends or anything. So I never really told him my feelings until a couple of weeks of hanging out. And even then it wasn't intentional. I just kind of blurted it out. And it was awful because he became speechless and didn't say anything for the rest of the night. :( (Good news was that I was headed into my house for the night anyway) but after four or five agonizing days of not being sure how he felt. He cooked me dinner and set up a table under candlelight and even had a friend of his serve the food. Just to tell me at the end of the dinner that he liked me back. So boom. That night after everything settled we kissed and he took me home. And the rest is pretty much history from there. We have done a lot of really cool things together. And I've tried a lot of new things because of him. Like new foods and things like that.
I was really happy but after a few weeks my family decided to chime in. So there was a really ugly war among my family. They called him a pedophile. My sister-in-law told my mom that I made up being raped, my sister demanded my mom kick me out of the house, my cousin (who is /actually/ pretty much a pedophile and who has tried several times to violate me and even told me that when I was eight years old and would wear my dance leotard he would just think about how sexy I was) disowned me because after I found out him and his girlfriend who were still on my facebook were feeding the rest of my family who had not been on my facebook... information I threatened to tell everyone about his pedophile tendencies towards me and even threatened to show everyone a lovely picture of his penis he had sent to me. (While he was in a relationship). And I did get kicked out of my house for a couple weeks as a result of my lovely siblings going to war with me. I was living out of my car and sleeping on my boyfriends parents couch... The only reason my mom let me move back in was because I wasn't able to take care of myself well enough since my bills were killing me. So I passed out at work and was in the hospital. So things on that end still are not that great. I haven't seen my nephew in four months. Last time I saw him he told me that his mommy told him that I hated him. So he didn't want much to do with me (Mind you he's only six) But my boyfriend proposed. Except it isn't official because he has fallen on hard times financially and can't afford a ring. And he wants to be able to do it the right way. So there's that.... also a few days ago I was hospitalized again with the possible need for surgery. So I spent a few days in the hospital and just got discharged yesterday; Everything looks okay for now so they won't be doing any surgery. Unless my symptoms come back. In the meantime, just as I suspected. My sister-in-law dumped my sister so my sister finally came around and apologized to me but still won't acknowledge my boyfriend. And it took me being admitted to the hospital for her to even apologize to me. So yeah. My crazy life.
How has everyone else been?
P.S
This is the famous boyfriend mentioned throughout the post. And me of course. :'D
But anyway... what's up peeps?
I couldn't remember the last time I posted in RPG,,, But wow I just looked and that was depressing... Anyway, life has gotten 1000000000000000000000000000000000000 times better since that post. I haven't thought about killing myself since that days. Although things haven't been perfect. If I ignored the bullshit it would seem pretty perfect. In the last four months since I've been here... I opened my own business, fell in love, got a job, went back to school, and was hospitalized several times! :D
To explain in more detail...
The first day I opened the doors of my business. Many people walked back into my life who I had not seen in years. Because they were my brothers friends from the firehouse he was involved in. And since he got married he cut them all out. So I really didn't get the oppurtunity to keep in touch with any of them as I was only 12ish when they stopped coming around. So that was great. But what makes it even better is that one of the guys who used to come around who I had a silly crush on from the time I even knew what it meant to have a crush on someone (I've known him forrrr nine years?) also walked back into my life. Of course, he hadn't seen me other than for five minutes in Wal-Mart one time back in the summer (Where I was too afraid to even talk to him because I realized I really liked him, even now) since I was 12. So I found myself still very much interested in him and again couldn't talk to him out of nerves. So I basically gave him his stuff he ordered and ran away to the backroom to hide from him until he left. Which is humorous because in the past I've never been nervous around guys I liked.So he was talking to my older sister for the majority of his visit. Which sucked for me because also in the past he really liked he and tried to date her but she would never date him because of his appearance. (He was too fat for her basically) So anyway. To cut this beautiful story a little shorter. He started to come in everyday to get food. And he would sit and talk with me for hours until the business closed every night. And after like a week or so after him doing this he asked if I wanted to try some of his cooking. (He's a chef and a really good one) So obviously since everything that happened to me at school I was kind of nervous about going out alone with a guy. But I knew he was a good guy before and I also know I can't live my life in fear. Because that isn't me at all. So the first night we hung out the entire night just talking and I never got home until 5:30 in the morning. For the first time in a long time I was actually happy. So anyway, after that night we became inseparable. Although I was afraid he was only hanging around because he felt sorry for me since I had no friends or anything. So I never really told him my feelings until a couple of weeks of hanging out. And even then it wasn't intentional. I just kind of blurted it out. And it was awful because he became speechless and didn't say anything for the rest of the night. :( (Good news was that I was headed into my house for the night anyway) but after four or five agonizing days of not being sure how he felt. He cooked me dinner and set up a table under candlelight and even had a friend of his serve the food. Just to tell me at the end of the dinner that he liked me back. So boom. That night after everything settled we kissed and he took me home. And the rest is pretty much history from there. We have done a lot of really cool things together. And I've tried a lot of new things because of him. Like new foods and things like that.
I was really happy but after a few weeks my family decided to chime in. So there was a really ugly war among my family. They called him a pedophile. My sister-in-law told my mom that I made up being raped, my sister demanded my mom kick me out of the house, my cousin (who is /actually/ pretty much a pedophile and who has tried several times to violate me and even told me that when I was eight years old and would wear my dance leotard he would just think about how sexy I was) disowned me because after I found out him and his girlfriend who were still on my facebook were feeding the rest of my family who had not been on my facebook... information I threatened to tell everyone about his pedophile tendencies towards me and even threatened to show everyone a lovely picture of his penis he had sent to me. (While he was in a relationship). And I did get kicked out of my house for a couple weeks as a result of my lovely siblings going to war with me. I was living out of my car and sleeping on my boyfriends parents couch... The only reason my mom let me move back in was because I wasn't able to take care of myself well enough since my bills were killing me. So I passed out at work and was in the hospital. So things on that end still are not that great. I haven't seen my nephew in four months. Last time I saw him he told me that his mommy told him that I hated him. So he didn't want much to do with me (Mind you he's only six) But my boyfriend proposed. Except it isn't official because he has fallen on hard times financially and can't afford a ring. And he wants to be able to do it the right way. So there's that.... also a few days ago I was hospitalized again with the possible need for surgery. So I spent a few days in the hospital and just got discharged yesterday; Everything looks okay for now so they won't be doing any surgery. Unless my symptoms come back. In the meantime, just as I suspected. My sister-in-law dumped my sister so my sister finally came around and apologized to me but still won't acknowledge my boyfriend. And it took me being admitted to the hospital for her to even apologize to me. So yeah. My crazy life.
How has everyone else been?
P.S
This is the famous boyfriend mentioned throughout the post. And me of course. :'D
