So, I am a teenager and I'm older than sixteen years old. That's all I'm going to say about what I am. The thing is that all of my friends have had dates and have had boyfriends and girlfriends and I'm feeling... left out. I'm that person that everyone becomes friends with but doesn't like more than a friend. I'm also that single friend who gives great couple's advice, but that isn't the point. My question is should I even be jealous? A friend of mine told me to wait until college to start dating, but she's been with her high school sweetheart since she was a freshmen and she's a senior this year. Should I wait? Or am I doing something wrong?

Nah I am the same way I've dated before but never works out I basically gave up and I'm going the army this fall hopefully. High school is a place for people who aren't developed enough for serious relationships. It is rare to see a high school relationship last not saying it doesn't happen just rare is all. My advice in a nutshell live your life how you feel you should regret nothing and someone will find interest in you. Have fun at grad for me because I probably won't.

You got at least seventy more years in ya, more given the rate of medical science. So I wouldn't worry about feeling pressured on anything. You're still in highschool so you'll still have plenty of chances. It's just a matter on if you're not awkward enough to let it slip. Besides, do these things ever commonly go anywhere? No. Not really. You'll rarely find anyone who met in high school that are in love thirty-years later. Sure it happens, but it's considerably rare. Most often you'll end up going through them by the month. In which case: consider it a grand experiment on your part to find out exactly what you want in a chick. Or a guy. On non-serious note I might advise against storing spaghetti in your pockets and to not wear a fedora when meeting women. Or you could and chance out you find someone who likes cold, lint-dirties pasta and a cliche hat from the 1930's.

When you're in highschool, you're at the mercy of a lot of things that are just out of your control. From how good your friends are to the average douche-level of your guy peers to the average catty-level of your girl peers to how uncool your parents are to how many of your friends have already started dating to how much they talk about it and make you feel left out to whether or not you even meet one cool guy/gal worth dating before you graduate to whether or not you partake in play-by-post forum roleplaying to how many generations your hand-me-downs were handed down until they became yours. It's tempting to draw conclusions from the result of those dice-rolls, especially conclusions about yourself. All my friends are dating. Shouldn't I be dating too? Is something wrong with me? Nah. It just hasn't come up. No big deal. "Wait til college" is such a common mantra because you finally have control then. You just haven't really had a fair shot til you're out of highschool when you can finally pick who you live with, where you spend your day, how you're meeting people, and if you're meeting people. And your pool of bf/gf candidates is more like an ocean. Finally, there's really only one thing you can do in life if you feel like you need more friends or lovers: You have to put yourself in a position to meet more people. I think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make certain things happen while giving ourselves nothing to work with. Anyways, I'm 26 now. Ever since I graduated highschool, there's just one piece of advice I would give my highschool-aged self: 

> Should I wait? Or am I doing something wrong? Well, you can always test the waters as a trial run for college, and maybe you'll even find someone before college. Just make sure you're having fun and the other person is having fun (if they can) but don't feel overly pressured. But no, you're not 'doing it wrong.' I don't know where you are, but high school isn't life, that's for sure.

Back when I was in junior high school I decided not to date until I was done with high school. Was it for some religious thing? No. Did I have a horrible experience that caused me to say no to guys when they want to date me? No. Did I regret not dating until I graduated? Absolutely not! I didn't have to worry about heartbreak or a lot of drama because of that. Back in junior high school I noticed how pointless (in my mind at least) dating while young. Although the relationships my friends were in seemed fun and such, many turned into drama or would fizzle out and rarely became something longterm and worthwhile (out of all of my friends only one couple from high school married and are living happily together). Sure, I might have had fun dating but I was (and still am) far from being a sappy, romance focused girl and investing time and energy for a relationship that had a high chance of not surviving or just so that I can fit in with what everyone else was doing seemed pointless to my middle/high school self. I tell you what though, that worked out wonderfully. I started dating a person that was my best friends during high school and years later things have moved to the point now that we've been talking these past few months and we are planning on getting married in about two years (actual engagement still pending since he's a bit traditional and wants to talk to my parents beforehand). Of course results will vary so don't take it as if I am saying that you will find the perfect someone right out high school or that you shouldn't date since you are a high schooler. However I do urge you that if you are stressing and seeking out a person to date just to fit in with what others are doing you should reevaluate your actions. My sister shared a quote the other day that is both funny but also holds truth in it:  Sure, if there is someone that you have an interest in, try and see if you can get to know them better and possibly date them but if there isn't anyone don't force it just because other people are in a relationship. Your time will come but until then enjoy your freedom of being single and enjoy not having to worry about drama, breakups and such because of dating.

Don't bother dating in high school... Seriously. You spend far too much time wanting to see your partner that well you stop paying so much attention in classes. It happened to me. I was predicted B's and A's came out with D's and E's because I spent more time texting than paying attention. Learn from your friends, none of them have a relationship that will last. Horrible to say but it's true

> Learn from your friends, none of them have a relationship that will last. Horrible to say but it's true This is partially true. Some people marry their highschool sweetheart and have a wonderful life together. These are the exception to the rule, though. Generally, teenagers are terrible at making decisions, including who they date and how they handle their relationships. Most people slowly learn from this process, which repeats itself in college (with the young adult addition of casual sex with that girl on the other side of your dorm) until people finally meet the person they spend the rest of their life with in the ages between 25 and 40. In short, don't worry about dating in high school. It's just a trial phase for most people and nothing life changing.

Yeah, be a little jealous. That's completely human. As a girl who didn't date much in high school but then bloomed into the pretty girl later in life; I'll echo and underscore the 'hang in there!' sentiment. High school's such a small sample size of people you'll meet in your life, it's kinda worthless as a true indicator for one's love life. (What if you just don't connect with anyone there on the romance level? Odds alone say it's entirely possible.) Work on yourself to the point where you feel confident and comfortable, THEN worry about romance again, especially once you're in a place in life that exposes you to completely new people and experiences...like, say, college! Or working! Or just being a grown ass human being. ^_^

> like, say, college! Or working! Getting a weekend job or something to put money in your pocket during high school is probably a better move than trying to find someone to date. That way, when you do land some dates, you have some money in your pocket. That helps you do what you want. (Besides, work often has a way of leading to relationships.)

dating advice, get a cat that sleeps with you because it cares about you.

Just be yourself. Don't focus on trying to find a bf so much. When these types of things do happen, they happen naturally XD The most important thing is to be happy. Whatever is meant to happen will happen and hey, there'a a lot said for being friends versus dating a dude. Boyfriends may come and go, but friendship can last much longer. Besides, most people have to date A ALOT before they find someone they really connect with. There's no need to rush the process, if you find someone in high school you really connect with romantically that's great. If you find that special someone a few years into college that's fine too. Focus on your life and surrounding yourself by those who make you happy and building up who you are as a person. The boyfriend should be a plus, not a necessity.

> dating advice, get a cat that sleeps with you because it cares about you. Implying that cats can care about their owners. Hehe, just kidding, I have four of them. Anyway, I'd suggest that you only date when you are ready and you really like someone who returns your feelings. It doesn't matter what age you are, people tend to just "go" with people out of desperation and because that person has feelings for them. I know countless teenagers and adults who do that in my life and it always ends up horribly. Don't be one of those people. It's also okay to be jealous, that's just a natural human emotion. I'm sixteen and I'm in a relationship, though it's only an online one. It's lasted for about one year now and since it's generally quiet aside from our parents knowing, there's very little drama. So, it's not really about age: maturity, freedom, commitment and so on. tl;dr: Date when you find someone you feel like you can truly spend your time with, doesn't matter if you're highschool, college age or so on. Just be ready, know that bad things sometimes happen in relationships. Good luck ;o

> Getting a weekend job or something to put money in your pocket during high school is probably a better move than trying to find someone to date. That way, when you do land some dates, you have some money in your pocket. That helps you do what you want. > > (Besides, work often has a way of leading to relationships.) It really does. Or 'big' hobbies in social settings, like if you're a nerd and hitting up conventions.

Thanks. All of this advice helps a lot.

Relationships can honestly be messy business. It's never something you want to be eager to run into, because when you are you're just asking for a soap-opera drama break down to happen. A healthy relationship needs to be one where people are naturally happy with one another, not one where going out, being together etc is forced. If you do that your days are honestly numbered, hell you're best indicator of that you're ready for a relationship is when you don't feel the need/urge to be in one. Because then you're in it out of rational, calm and consistent desire, rather than a need of the moment to be loved, laid, *Insert need/desire here*. I get a bit more cold/blunt below under the line. So stop here if you just wanted encouraging "You can do it!" or "It's not your time!" sort of advice. ******************************** Now I'll disclaim, what I'm going to say comes with some bias of having been stung bad in past relationships. But it's bias I've had several years to calm down and separate myself from, so I'm trusting at this point I was able to reflect from a calm and logical perspective. If you look at the direction relationships are going in general, it's not pretty. Divorce rates are on the rise, marriages start later, and people are far more likely to leave a relationship than work through problems now. Now, this honestly is not a bad thing in my mind. It's honestly a key indicator that people are learning to stick up more for themselves. But it also shows a clear trend of less and less people wanting to enter dedicated and/or monogamous relationships. More and more people are leaving the idea's of a 1x1 romantic relationship aside, may it be simply not wanting to be tied to one person, or simply through experience having not found happiness from it. And considering the idea of monogamous relationships (at least for humans), marriage etc was actually not something we evolved to be like naturally but was rather something enforced by religious pressure in ancient history? It was always something that went against the way humans naturally are, which if you look at it should have always been obvious with the amount of spouse issues, cheating that happens, and how ingrained/intimidated/enforced etc people had to be raised to think "Just listen to them" or "You're with em for life, deal with it". Where what we're seeing now, if you ask me is honestly humanity just snapping out of this practice, one that never suited people well to begin with. So, what was the point of that? Relationships are broken, stupid and pointless? No, there are definitely cases where people have been happy. But they are a shrinking minority (or more awareness to the bad ones are coming up). But the whole idea of "Find one boy/girl, see them exclusively, have a life with just them" is shrinking because it just doesn't work for so many people. Now I'm not saying "Get out there and sleep with everyone", I'm honestly not even trying to say anything in particular. I'm just leaving some food for thought. I figured with all the people going with the "Wait till later" and "You're find your person some day" advice, that it might have been helpful to see a slight change of pace/perspective. I could be wrong, dead wrong. And even if I get some people going defensive and replying to me simply going "OMG Gwazi! How could you insult marriage! It is a loving bond! etc.", I might also get some people who can rationally and logically point what the stuff I said above to be completely wrong. So yea, food for thought. If you're that concerned about getting into a relationship, maybe you might be best served sitting back, thinking about why you want one, if it's worth it, can you get what you want another way etc? If in the end you decide you still want be in a relationship (I'll be honest, despite what I argued I'd still be up for a relationship as well if it ever came up) then that's great, that's your choice. But at least you looked outside the box, and considered it from another light, and had time to reflect and make that decision for yourself. Rather than simply getting into a relationship because everyone else is. ***************************** > Getting a weekend job or something to put money in your pocket during high school is probably a better move than trying to find someone to date. That way, when you do land some dates, you have some money in your pocket. That helps you do what you want. Eh. Sure it helps for relationships, but honestly if you're in a relationship where your partner is expecting you to foot the majority of the bills (May you be male or female) then it's honestly less of a partnership and more of a "You! Wallet! Buy me this!".