Well, I'm about to gush to spam.

This is risky.

For all my life I've been a Non-Denominational Christian. A firm believer that Jesus Christ died on the Cross for our sins and rose from the dead 3 days later and ascended to heaven. Both my parents are Christian. I went to a catholic school for a good portion of elementary school. We went to church everyday. We don't go to church that often anymore, but we still believe, right? Well I'm not sure. As I get older the more I re-evaluate my beliefs, what I thought, what I've learned, what I know. I look at the world in a different way than I did 3 years ago. I find myself more open than I used to be, not so uptight about things like Religion or Sexuality. I used to hate gay people because people told me that God hates them, but I've gotten over that and I think that's just close minded hate clouding morals. I find myself laughing more at jokes that are at the expense of Christianity, not acting offended or disappointed. I just feel like... I don't know where I'm at with my religion. I live in a Mormon community and saying "Goddammit" offends them super bad (If you've ever met a devout Mormon, you know exactly what I'm talking about) And I feel like that sorta batshit spin on Christianity is sort of driving me away. I dunno. I still believe, I can just feel it...wavering. Y'know?

I don't believe in any set-in-stone god/s, so let somebody from the "nonbeliever" side level with you right quick.

I was brought up Christian; had all three of my Holy Sacraments, used to go to church every Sunday. Y'know, the standard fare. But I never really really believed. There's no need to; having faith in someone/something bigger than yourself can be nice and all, but I personally find that the person/thing you need to have faith in more than any deity is yourself. Don't let doubt cloud your mind on this; every tree bears a few bad apples and the Mormon community you live with just might be some bad apples. If you think Jesus died for our sins on the cross and got back up, then believe. I personally think the story's a bit far-fetched, but won't discard the chance that there's some truth buried in there.

There's no rule saying you MUST keep your faith set in stone at all times. Try a few other religions out for a little while and see if any of them call out to you more than Non-Denominational Christianity. I hear Buddhism is pretty neat. And if you try one and think "Hey, this is way better than what I used to believe in", then believe in that from now on. If not, then you can choose to stick to your old faith or even soldier on without need for such things as a god or higher being. I think more than anything, God would want his creations to be happy...unless, y'know, he's still an evil sadistic fuck like in the Old Testament. Just be good to others and yourself, and things should work out for you. That's the kind of thing I believe in, at least.

This came out a lil' longer than I expected. Hope it helped you in some way though :)

@UnendingEmpire Wow, a much more understanding response than I thought. Thank you.

Spam is usually at worst indifferent and at best very supportive when it comes to real stuff.

My take on this sort of thing is basically that your faith is your own. You don't have to fit into a label of being X or Y, Non-Denominational Christian or devout Hindu. Just believe what you believe, outside of that stuff. You are whatever you feel you are.

Just as an example: my mother fully believes in God, but also rejects many of the tenets of Christianity, doesn't put much faith in the Bible, has a sense of humour about her faith, and strongly dislikes any sort of organised religion. She doesn't consider herself particularly Christian or non-Christian; she has her beliefs, and that's all that matters, not what she calls herself or where she falls relative to other people who have faith. You could say she's a Christian of her own denomination. Halo's-Mum-ism.

Basically... not hating gay people or laughing at jokes that are at the expense of Christianity doesn't make you not Christian, just as doing the opposite doesn't make you Christian. In other words, not matching up with the beliefs of other Christians you know doesn't mean anything for your faith and philosophy - if you believe in God, you believe in God; if you don't hate gay people, you don't hate them. It's that simple. Let your faith follow its own path, and don't worry about whether you are or are not Christian, or whether you belong to any group or denomination. Just decide what you believe piece by piece - you can believe in God without believing in Jesus' sacrifice, or believe in both of those without believing in other aspects of Christianity, or decide you don't believe in any of it.

And I'm saying all this because it doesn't seem like your problem is with not knowing what you believe, but rather being thrown off because your beliefs, and feelings about said beliefs, don't match up with the way others around you see things. And so you wonder if you're the same "brand" as them, if you're in the same group - i.e. "well if they're Christian and I don't agree with some of what they say, doesn't that make me not Christian?" My point is: what they think, say, feel, or believe makes no difference; your faith is your own.

You're on the path of Dank Saganism brother.

Be enlightened, m'sir

Christians nowadays shouldn't be offended by someone using the 'Goddammit' line as this was used and created by christians themselves many generations ago to Express their helplessness towards the problematic situations they couldn't handle. Simply put it means in their subconscious mind they think "I cannot do anything about it, but god will damn (curse) it and it will be alright."

There is only one option, and one option for you.

Denounce Catholicism and take up the superior robes of Nestorius.

#2Christ1Body

Your faith is more important than your religion, your church, your neighbors, or your pastor. What you personally think and believe is all that matters. Follow that.

Fun christian fact -- pretty much every major person throughout scripture (Moses, David, Elijah, John the Baptist, Jesus, the apostle Paul, and more) went through a period of 'wandering in the wilderness' or however they phrase it for each particular story. They left the church/synagogues, went out on their own, and figured out their own shit. Then when they shared what they'd figured out with the religious establishment, they changed everything.

So don't spend a minute worrying if the church would scold you for thinking something new and different. The church doesn't matter. They shouldn't be controlling your thoughts and opinions anyway, and least of all your sense of humor -- jesus, can you imagine a world where lutherans were in charge of comedy?

can you imagine a world where lutherans were in charge of comedy?

I wouldn't be there in first place.