Chae, Moksha - Main Street, Walker, LA - Ricky
"I'm sure we can find something."
Almost immediately Chae's demeanor changed. The hope of some release from... responsibility, even if it was inherently irresponsible in and of itself, was something that prompted her to at least try and regain her composure, if only to find the... now trio someplace that might have liquor.
"Let's go get sloshed, eh?" He had added, prompting an almost childishly excited gasp from Chae.
Ricky probably didn't realize how much she needed to hear that. The young woman didn't consider herself an alcoholic-- she figured people like that had much better tolerances to drink than her lightweight self could ever muster-- but she did drink. Often. What had started as a harmless college habit several years back had become something of a ritual for her in the days after the end. Her reliance on Miguel had only been part of what had kept her going this long.
Dry towns, to her, had become synonymous with what hell must have been like.
After the death of her grandmother, and the beginning of her now completely pointless trek across the south, a light buzz became an important, almost daily ally. She told herself that it wasn't a comfort thing-- that it was because she needed to be focused on staying alive, and analyzing her situation only led to pointless misery that could keep her careless. Repression, a psychoanalyst might call it. Pffft. Chae considered it an ancient and refined familial skill. So what if she needed a little extra help to avoid thinking about some things? Miguel was dead-- he wasn't even 18-- she fucked up. That's what she was, after all a fuck up.
Of course.
Failure in one life, failure in the other!
NEWSFLASH: Unemployed college drop-out; Drink, smokes, leeches off of old woman--
Then the world fucking resets! You could try to be useful, Chae... and--
And she couldn't even protect Halmonee.
Hell! She couldn't even find herself a proper group!
All she did was follow some kid with a map! For months, she just aimlessly followed some lost kid! Why make any decisions of her own? God forbid her weak shoulders bear any responsibility-- she'd collapse! Drunken comedian lady can barely handle listening to her music an walking! Just do what you did before.
Just do what you did before.
Nothing.
Well, is letting people die nothing?
Ha! She couldn't even kill herself.
But you let them die? You didn't do anything!
How long does that cat have? How long does anything you touch?
What a failur----
---"Really? I'd love to get 'sloshed,' or whatever, Ricky." Honestly, as she followed behind Ricky, a new pep in her step, she reminded herself it was better not to think about it, at least, herself. Wiping tears from her eyes, she placed Moksha, much to the kitten's chagrin, in a large empty pocket of her backpack, "Seriously man," Shaking her head, and using two hands, she viewed the map of Walker with a new clarity, "I feel better just knowing we're gonna get some booze. I really just... I don't know... I need a drink, I need to not think right now."
After wriggling about in his new cramped abode, Moksha popped his head out of a zipper hole with a squeak.
"I agree, Moki." Was Chae's immediate deadpanned response.
She continued looking over the map, and after a moment, spoke again, "There's a grocery store not too far from here," She suggested. It had taken her until now to notice just how tall Ricky was-- height had always managed to impress Chae, who herself flirted with nearing 6 feet, as she had to look upwards into his eyes she took note of the unique occurrence, "2 buck chuck on display might be gone, but people don't usually think to check out the back rooms... that's where they keep all the good shit." Tall, swarthy... and... rather handsome--- She shook the thought from her head-- "We could try a few liquor stores a few miles south, but, speaking from experience, those places get picked bone dry pretty fast..." she hadn't even started drinking yet for Christs sake! Was grief an aphrodisiac? "What do you think?"