@Mass City
If you wanted to get Eagle involved in something, I'm about to have Star Ruby snoop in on Mythica and The Chairman's deal, maybe you could work that?
ok that could work@Horrid
@Mass City
If you wanted to get Eagle involved in something, I'm about to have Star Ruby snoop in on Mythica and The Chairman's deal, maybe you could work that?
@Pietra
I have changed my post, and hopefully it makes more sense than my last one did. I'd like to thank you for having patience with me, I'm only 19 and so I'm very ignorant in many fields. Hopefully this critique doesn't become a constant between us.
<Snipped quote by Marik>
It's totally fine, Marik, I'm 19 too- I'm completely ignorant about a lot of things, like sports, and lots of components of history. Just one thing; I mentioned in the post where I introduced Carla that she was trained in the Marine Corps alongside Rose... so she wouldn't be as clueless as you're writing her. Believe it or not, policemen are actually pretty badass sometimes, and not all of them are corrupt. The vast majority are well trained, and really, really good at handling criminals. I thought it was pretty obvious that Carla would have disarmed your character before putting him in the vehicle, that it didn't need saying. Making policemen out to be idiots, especially ones previously in the Marine Corps, even in fiction, is incredibly insulting. Just... no. That's so disrespectful of the people who protect our country from within, the people who risk their lives daily to save others.
Carla is a junior police detective, previously trained in the Marine Corps. Here's a link to see what's required of Marines, and here to see what's required for detectives. Yeah. See the problem with how you portrayed her, as a fumbling idiot?
The Phoenix, Teen Tornado, and me were thankfully able to put his terror to an end.
<Snipped quote by BlueAjah>
Don't be so fucking disrespectful of both me, the police force, even if it's fictional, and my character, even if she's just an NPC.
finally made a villain. Say hello to Sea Bastard.
@Polyphemus
So, in the event that Uprising makes it out of this situation I’m in, I was hoping that an alliance could be forged. If it was possible for him to join my tyranny, would you prefer to keep control of him, or would that fall to me?
I'm thinking I'll keep control of him, if that's alright.