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Hey guys I'm in the ER

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Raxacoricofallapatorius
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Raxacoricofallapatorius god of shenanigans

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It might be appendicitis but hopefully it's not.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Vilageidiotx
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It was that fucking bird.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by gorgenmast
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gorgenmast

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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Awson
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Geez Louis, Goddamn!

I hope you're okay.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by mdk
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mdk 3/4

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Watch out for the vampires. They come in at night to steal your blood.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Raxacoricofallapatorius
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Update: my nurse is straight outta creepypasta.

Not even exaggerating, she was telling me how much she likes popping zits. And cists, and things rupturing, and gore in general. This is an actual quote of what she just said in a response to a comment about gore: "Ugh, I love it!"

So if the appendicitis doesn't kill me, the nurse probably will.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Raxacoricofallapatorius
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Well, I'm not pregnant.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by TheMadAsshatter
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I'm sorry I must inform you in such an informal manner as this forum, but I am your doctor, and I am here to tell you that you have ass-flu. It's like normal flu, but instead of violently vomiting every hour, you have explosive diarrhea.

But in all seriousness, I do hope you get better. If it is the appendix... whatever. You don't need that, anyways.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Vilageidiotx
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Well, I'm not pregnant.


That is a good thing too, because I hate to think what your nurse might have done if you were.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by BrobyDDark
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Dude, don't die. If you die, who can I forget to do spamfics with?
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Awson
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Well I guess I have to go to sleep without finding out.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Foxxie
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If you get an organ removed, please bring get it sealed up in a nice jar and set it as your avatar.
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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by andromedene
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andromedene

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Well, I'm not pregnant.


tbh the doctors can't figure out if people have appendicitis half the time they're just like ??? maybe who knows

not them
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Awson
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I'm going to guess it's an ovarian cyst. Girls with weird pains in my life tend to have ovarian cysts.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Vilageidiotx
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Vilageidiotx Jacobin of All Trades

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I'm going to guess it's an ovarian cyst. Girls with weird pains in my life tend to have ovarian cysts.


Well, the nurse likes popping cysts, so I guess she is in good hands.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Raxacoricofallapatorius
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Okay so last night they sent me through a CT scan and turns out it was just ovulation pain.

Are you fucking kidding me. I couldn't even walk. And I have a very high pain threshold so if I say I need to go to the ER it hurts a LOT.

It's like my body was like, "You know I don't think her uterus gives her enough hell each month, let's get the ovaries in on it too."

At least the hospital had wi-fi so I powered through some FMA while we waited for the test results.

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Awson
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I was half right.

I'm sorry, that sucks.

I hope they did enough checks and didn't just call it ovulation pain and break for lunch.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by aza
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aza Artichokes

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just have them cut you in half

boom, pain gone
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Awson
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She's ovulating so hard that maybe she'd prefer some young buck to split her in half instead.

I mean "what?"

That's inappropriate.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by aza
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aza Artichokes

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She's ovulating so hard that maybe she'd prefer some young buck to split her in half instead.

I mean "what?"

That's inappropriate.


I just imagine a deer with a saw instead of antlers
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