Name: Kentucky Tom
Age: 29
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 180 pounds
Race: Human
Class: Jerkwad
Alignment: Chaotic
Eye Color: Unknown



Weapons and Equipment: Sunglasses, cigarette, white suit.

Physical Abilities/Skills: Physically and mentally, Kentucky Tom is remarkably average. He's no more fit than a man of his age normally is. He is, however, one seriously hardass dickweed who used to be a fast talkin' auctioneer. He has only one special ability, but it is virtually impossible to kill or incapacitate with it. His power is known as "Really Buggersome Affectations". He can inflict nasty effects upon enemies by speaking the magic words of a curse and then pointing and firing a softball sized orb of arcane energy. The speed of the shot depends of the nastiness of the curse. Such curses as "Horndoggums Humprumpus" travel at half the speed of a small thrown object, whilst curses like "Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum" move as fast as bullets. The only way to break these curses is to kill him. The known curses he uses are...

*"Impreggio Bitchpleasum"- Impregnates whomever he is pointing at, forcing a baby to be conceived within them. This works on men and inanimate objects. (Mid-Speed)

*"Baldickus Bodilicious"- Instantly removes all the hair on your body. (Fast-Speed)

*"Gayroticus Weinerfestum"- Turns the victim gay. (Slow-Speed)

*"Fartilliarum Skidmarkius"- Gives you the messy farts. (Med)

*"Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum"- Turns your skin pink. (Fast)

*"Retardingus Shitheadellus"- Lowers an enemy's I.Q by one point. (Med)

*"Dirtlingus Shoutloudius"- Forces an opponent to yell out their deepest, dirtiest secret and then proceed to do so again every two minutes. Each time Tom hits a victim with this curse, it halves the time that they can go without shouting. (Fast)

*"Whiteytightus Fucknuttums"- Makes your underwear ultra-tight and uncomfortable. (Fast)

*"Beardantili Hipsterium"- Gives you a huge beard. (Fast)

*"Nudesweeta Bareassum"- Evaporates the target's clothing into an embarrasing gooey honey mist. (Med)

*"Weaboonekus Fucknuttus"- Gives you a bunny tail and cat ears. (Fast)

*"Pisswiggums Bladdersmallis"- Makes you have to pee really bad. (Med)

*"Horndoggums Humprumpus"- Makes you insanely attracted to the next thing Kentucky Tom points at. (Slow)

*"Nipgantius Bigtittumus"- The victim's chest area will grow to five times normal size. (Slow)

*"Fatassium Bastardus"- Makes the victim obese. (Slow)

*"Lolhardickus"- Forces the victim into an awkward situation the likes of which occur most often to us in the morning. If used on a female, it will materialize the required assets upon her being. (Fast)

*"Pussysobbium Crybabius"- Makes you cry uncontrollably. (Med)

*"Racechangium Laughardiculum"- Changes the victim's race. By changing the first word to "Sexchangium" Tom can alter gender instead. (Slow)

*"Narratium Expositorium"- Forces the victim to narrate their actions as they do them in a deep, dramatic voice. They cannot complete their attack until the end of the narration. (Slow)

*"Smurftardicus Squeakerotica"- Gives you a high pitched helium voice. (Fast)

*"Butthorkus Limporkus"- The victim becomes a transgender drag queen complete with high heels and wig. (Slow)

*"Blindorial Nerdwerdus"- Makes you near and short sighted and materializes a pair of prescription glasses onto your face. (Med)

*"Pizzamugums Pubertum"- Gives the victim a load of acne. (Fast)

*"Glasswhackius Buttmunchickus"- Makes you instantly punch the nearest person with glasses in the face nice and hard, even if it is yourself. (Med)

*"Dildus Rubberium"- Turns an enemy's weapon into a certain rubber implement. (Slow)

*"Foolookius Overthereius"- Makes you look where Tom is pointing. (Slow)

*"Itchums MacGuiness"- Makes you feel very itchy all over. (Slow)

Background: Kentucky Tom grew up in the rough part of town and was constantly harangued by bullies. Why? He had a smart mouth. Shooting off insults came naturally to Tom. He pissed off teachers, parents, drivers, senators, dogs, you name it. He never had much cash, since his job as an auctioneer didn't pay all that well. But then one day, everything changed. He met an old fakir who beseeched Tom to sell an old Porsche for enough money to bail his deviant grandson out of jail. Tom felt pity for the mystic and at the next auction, sold the vehicle for twice what it was really worth. Out of gratitude the fakir bestowed upon Kentucky Tom the power to incur hilarious status effects upon the unwary.

Theme Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRJ9_yHiNmg

Name: Solomon Ross, The Master of Weapons

Sex: Male

Age: 72

Height: 5'2" (Actually taller, but his back is heavily arched from age.)

Weight: 182 lbs.

Physical Description: From his outward appearance, Solomon is barely an intimidating man. Bent and ancient, deeply wrinkled skin with numerous permanent scars from his long years of experience. Encumbering his elderly frame are numerous leather straps and sheaths that hold his excessive number of weapons to his body. These weapons barely fit on him, clattering about as he moves. The straps actually serve a purpse beyond the holstering of his weapons. They are all lines that move outwards away from his center, causing his body to not look nearly as intimidating as it actually is. Despite his age, his body is in perfectly healthy condition. The muscles from his body do not look like those of a body builder, or of a fighter. They are built muscles, forged from years of training. Perfectly attuned to how he works on the field of battle.

Beneath his numerous straps is a simple garb of cotton and silks, it's a robe that's held closely to his body by the straps of leather. It conceals 90% of the scars on his body.

Psychological Description: Solomon is significantly less serious than one would expect a man who has spent 80% of his life training to surpass all warriors who have come before him. After his training he took the best possible path, instead of becoming a broody old man with a dozen regrets. He decided to live the back half of his life cheerfully, taking up the sword on the field of battle to teach young up-and-coming warriors their place in the world. Teaching them that even though they're energetic, youthful, and strong that they're nothing compared to a man with real conviction.

Powers/Abilities/Skills:
Unleashed Mortal Strength: Slow and trudging years of training under the tutelage of the previous 'Master of Weapons' left his body broken and battered. As his wounds healed and his bones reset, he was left with remarkable strength beyond that of normal men. 30x that of a normal man, to be precise. Able to lift 7,200 lbs above his head with both hands, and toss it with relative ease.

Unleashed Mortal Speed: The training left his legs weary and his back aching, ruining his posture as the years passed, but as his legs finally came to rest he found that he could run faster than any man before him. As fleet as the fastest wind, as swift as a falling star. He was a blur to normal men. Again, 30x as fast as normal men. Able to run at 240 mph.

Unleashed Mortal Skin: Body broken, bruised, bloodied, and battered, he was left with scars and callouses that hindered his movement. But as time passed and the wounds softened and gave way to fresh skin and newly healed bones, he was tougher than an ox. His body is strong enough to withstand blows from shotguns and continue fighting.

Unleashed Mortal Mind: Psychologically he was torn down, turned into what some would say is less than a man. Turning off his emotions for periods of time just so he could survive the rigorous tasks that he was put through. When his training came to an end, and his mind became his once more, he was enlightened. Everything he had been put through had left him more calm than any man before him, no amount of suffering would break his will to fight. Solomon was made into a truly devastating warrior. His ability to comprehend the movement's of his opponent's is remarkable, and some have called it precognition. However, it is not that he is predicting where they will be, his eyes see at 30x the speed of normal men, allowing him to see objects moving at around Mach 6.

Universal Mastery of All Weapons: Fifty years, fifty years did Solomon train himself to master every weapon placed in his hands. This training has gifted him mastery of all weapons made by man and some races of elf-kin. This mastery of weaponry is so encompasing that weapons that he's never held before are easy for him to utilize on the field of battle.

Weapon Trickery: Any weapon that Solomon carries on his person can be interchanged without movement, should he so wish to do so. This is an instantaneous process, allowing him to change up his fighting style repeadly without risk of exposure.

Equipment: All weapons that are not expressly stated to be made of another materail are made from crucible forged steel. Made from high quality iron ore, mined from a secluded location in the mountains. Each weapon has been treated repeatedly so they do not give under his strength.

Abisha, The Perfect Blade: MADE FROM PLOT-TANIUM ALLOY!!! No, really. This blade was forged from boron steel, crafted in an environment of pure argon gas to prevent any possible imperfections. It was heated and folded 1,000 times until it became impossible to fold the blade any further with human strength. Struck with a hammer until it was bent into the shape of a cavalry sabre. Its handle is made from Quebracho wood, dyed black and wrapped with the skin of a shark. The skin is wrapped in silk, folded in a similar process to the wrappings of a katana. The middle of the handle has a perfectly shaped palm swell to fit the hand of practically any who uses the blade, it is comfortable to hold in your hand without risk of slipping. The hand guard is rounded to overlap the user's hand and protect it from accidentally being nicked in the middle of combat. This is made from crucible steel and hammered to bend just enough to prevent it from touching the user's hand. The blade itself is three feet long with a slight curve at the end of it. It is a single edged sword. The edge is keen enough to cleanly slice through flesh and bone without knicking, it can trade blows with lesser swords and carve deep wounds into them. This blade was not originally Solomon's, he participated in the previous Everlasting Arena and left with this blade in hand from a fallen foe. He lost half of his arsenal that day, but he left with a fantastic blade for his collection.

Gladius: A short and sharp blade on an even shorter handle, this deceptively small blade has been the end to many foes who underestimated its deadliness due to its length. It is about 11 inches long and two inches wide, it is a deathly tool.

Kerambit: A six inch long curved dagger utensil, designed for cleanly cutting into flesh and leaving deep wounds in flesh. To cause pain and blood loss in its victims.

Hakapik: A short handled hook weapon, designed to dig into targets and punch holes in organs. Quickly killing them with sharp trauma to important areas like the heart or brain. The blade is roughly 8 inches long, on a 12 inch snakewood handle.

Dory Spear: A 10 foot long spear with a short 5 inch leaf shaped spearhead on the end, counterbalanced with a metal weight on the opposing end. Designed to be utilized behind a shield or among the ranks of a phalanx.

Engraved Leather Sling: A 22 inch long, three inch wide strap of soft treated leather. A simple tool with a simple purpose, however, this sling is his deceptive pride and joy. Along the inside of this simple leather strap are six runes, written in elvish tongues. Anything loaded into this sling and thrown shall accelerate 10 times the speed of the user's greatest throw. (About 3020 mph.)

Knobkerrie: A three foot long rod with 2 inch thickness, the end of it swells to around 5 inches. It is made from snakewood, a notoriously hard wood that has been heat treated to intensify its strength. Used to knock people off of their balance with quick strikes to the joints.

Morning Star: A foot long metal rod with leather binding around the handle, at the end of the handle is a large seven by seven inch sphere of metal with long spikes protruding from the center. A prime tool for penetrating armor and breaking bones. The head weighs 40 lbs.

Chakram: A circular blade with a handle through the center, designed to be thrown at an opponent.

Maul: A huge metal hammer with a big blocky head, the handle is roughly five feet long, the head is one foot tall and wide, and it is two feet long. It is used to crush armor, bones, and organs with long arching swings. It weighs roughly 230 lbs.

Dragon Beard Hook: This is a stel hook, with four large outwards pointing claws. The base of the hook is barbed with smaller and sharper hooks. This is attached to a 15 foot long chain. This is a weapon used to snare enemies and cause severe wounds to the flesh, preventing them from fleeing battle.

Kusari-Gama: A sickle of steel with a snakewood handle. Attached to the base of the handle is a thin chain, roughly 12 feet long with a heavy metal weight on the end of it, filled with lead to increase its weight. The weight is 1 lb.

Halberd: The weapon of choice for cavalry, an 8 foot long staff with a broad curved axe-like head on the end with a long spearhead attached. Allowing for swinging and stabbing with the heafty head.

History:
Solomon's tale is both long and short, and too boring for normal folks to occupy themselves with. To summarize it is the best way to go.

He was adopted and raised by a Jewish-American family in the early 1900s, they gave him a good first 20 years of his life and set him on his way with a significant amount of money with him. He used this startup money to adventure the world for a bit. Somewhere about a month in, his adventures took a sour turn when he was mugged by a gang of robbers in the southern end of the Ottoman Empire. (This was less than a year before it dissolved, fun fact.) He was stabbed in the gut and the chest by one of the muggers. Just before everything went black, he was saved by a young man with a completely shaved head. This young man brought him to the 'temple' where he was raised. It wasn't really a temple it was practically a castle.

This temple took him in, treated his wounds, and took interest in him for surviving the wounds. They offered him a way to survive further battles, and to show him a world that was vastly different from his own.

Needless to say, he took this up and trained with them for fifty solid years under the tutelage of the previous master of weapons. Retiring 50 years later, after he had mastered his art.

After retiring he took to the Everlasting Arena, I mean why not. When you've become as powerful as him in his old age. During the previous annual Everlasting Tournament he obtained the perfect sword, it cost him so many of his weapons but in the end he was rewarded with a masterwork sword from a time ahead of his own. He along with the other extremes teamed up near the end of the last Arena to defeat the higher tiered opponents and walk home the uncontested champions of the Arena.