Ok here is where you can talk, silverlucario5

@RedNightHunter
If you mean to have a 1x1, there is a specific 1x1 tab for you to post in. Just lettin' you know.

@WilsonTurner i am on my phone the 1x1 place wasnt working

@silverlucario5

Ok I read it. Yes you did better. Also, I suggest you write in third person. You are having the character describe the scenery and thats not good.
"Quite beautiful midsummer day, Ugh I'm getting off topic." When you said this it cuts of the mental image in your head.
Describe the scenery. Show not tell. One thing you could have said was.
The city was quiet this early morning. The only sounds were of birds chirping and blacksmiths coaxing their fires to life while the rooster crowed. As he jogged towards the stables Fang wondered what could have happened."

Secondly, pay attention to where I said Nia and Sebastion were. Sebastian wouldn't be inside a house, they are in a horse stables. You wrote of him going inside a house. Third, his friend wouldn't walk all the way to his house, thats not very realistic. What would have been more realistic was to have Fang go to relieve him of duty to find him lying injured on his post. Lastly, check your sentences. Some of what you write isn't in proper punctuation.

kk

Oh well that is all i can think of.

I nit pick when it comes to this and sometimes i even annoy myself.

ur fine red thanks for the info ill fix the other stuff later but for now can we rp?

hewo?

Hello

red were are u?????

How about I put a scene where she is talking to her lady and then she is told the court is going on campaign. She is to get ready immediately. Then we skip to tomorrow and the two meet again?

That works and if i lack in my next post on the rp im sorry im still upset

Just try to add some logical detail please. I will help you but you have to try.

k

idk if i did good or not

when u said the gaurd who helped u did u mean me or fred?