Okay I'm sorry I'm a bit behind the time I said I'd be done. But the backstory proved to be a real pain. So I been able to put backstory together I can tolerate, although not super happy with. Anyway I hope what I put together is at least passable. Also there might be a few errors rushed the editing part
Valeriya "Val" Raskova
"So long as my life is simple and I can be pilot I'm happy.
[ ⛨ ] C A L L S I G N
Titian
[ ⛨ ] N C O R I G I N
Volkov
[ ⛨ ] D - O - B
May 27th, 2644 (33)
[ ⛨ ] G E N D E R
Female
[ ⛨ ] A P P E A R A N C E
Tried be would the first word many would use to describe Valeriya. The girl always looking like she could fall asleep at moment. Even when she had a good full nights rest, it simply being her natural look. A small lazy grin semi permanently glued to her face. Fading only when her mood shifts into a more negative one. Growing when her mood is in more positive.
Psychically, Valeriya is quite short standing around 5 foot 5 inches and is of a lean build. With a set of jade green eyes naturally, however wheres cosmetic contacts to make them red.
Valeriya's clothing tends to be whatever she can get a hold of that fits. Leading to some odd mismatched combinations of pants, dresses, tank top, and shirts. With colours that sometimes clash honorably and or going a single monotone. Not caring how silly she may look going for being comfortable over everything else. Dressing to best match the weather and whatever she is doing. At times or if the a situation demands it Valeriya seems to take some care in her appearance, wearing some sort of carefully planned outfit.
The only thing Valeriya makes some sort of effort with is her jet black hair which is kept either in a bun or pony tail. Favoring the bun during the day or when piloting her NC and pony tail at night or when ever she got free time. She lets it flow freely every one and a while showing it to be shoulder length.
[ ⛨ ] P E R S O N A L I T Y
At first glance Valeriya tends to come across as quite and borderline antisocial. Happier to merely watch those around her go about their day. This is however only a half truth, as Valeriya does enjoy human interaction but she finds it difficult. Having trouble gauging how people are feeling or thinking. Unless it's painfully obvious. Although most of the time Valeriya wont really care. Having never really cared what others thought of her. Merely acting the way she dose simply because it is her. Her actions guided by her own morals, loyalties and honor code that she adheres herself to. Not that she willing to share what that honor code is exactly. Valeriya being quite a tight lipped woman when it comes certain things about herself, when she simply wants to be or order to be.
Valeriya at her core is a caring laid back person, who seems to always be slightly happy when left to her own devices. She of person who likes to keep her the things in her life as simple as humanly possible, for a long a possible. Valeriya is the type that likes to do things at her own pace, hating it when she feels pressured to do things quickly. Although makes a exception when she is piloting her NC or around a superior. Understanding that it merely part of the life she chose. Outside of that it is one of the easiest ways to sour the woman mood a task that is not easy given her laid back nature. At times she almost seems to look down and regretful but refuses to talk about it.
Once inside her NC or as needed Valeriya show's an attitude befitting a solider who seems to enjoy her line of work ... most
[ ⛨ ] S K I L L S E T
A brief synopsis of your out-of-mech skills and talents through descriptive text.
Drawing and sketches: Valeriya is skilled at drawing and sketching something she has been doing since she was a teenager.
Soldiers Instincts: Having been a pilot since 18 and seen battle serval times. Valeriya has developed a fairly good sense of danger. Often allowing a second or two to either ready herself for a fight or flee.
[ ⛨ ] B A C K S T O R Y
Valeriya was born in the heart of Volkov's mega-city. To a pair of NC pilots, who both worked for Volkov. Growing up Valeriya was mostly raised by one of her uncles and her aunt. Her parents retuning to work as pilots when Valeriya turned 3. In order to provide the best they could for their daughter. As a child and teenager Valeriya didn't understand this. Leading to her to dislike her parents, but for as much as she grew to dislike them she grew to admire the NCs the piloted. One of the few memories that Valeriya considered positive is hear her parents talk about their mech and the things they did in them. These stories sparking an interest in becoming a pilot herself, young Valeriya often picturing self piloting an NC.
This interest stuck with Valeriya thought her schooling, although faded slightly as other interests came into her life. It always stayed close to her. Even as she reached 16 birthday she still lost herself in her mind picturing herself as pilot going missions. Pretending to by the NCs she was "piloting" acting out it's actions. This marking her as the weird one in her small circle of friends. However Valeriya didn't overly mind.
As she finished school and question was asked what did she want to do when she left school. Giving the thought of becoming a pilot. Deciding to ask her parents when she saw them next. The question thought not sitting well with her parents who both objected to the idea. This only made Valeriya want to become a pilot more, who left home to live with the uncle that raised her. Valeriya quickly growing to resent her parents refusing to to speaking or having anything to do with them.
Undergoing the surgery to have a Neural Plug installed, Valeriya began to the road to recovery and learning how to use an NC and the start of a career as a pilot with Volkov.
She was posted to a small "independent" settlement that was under Volkov protection. The company having a good in it as it was along a supply major route to a couple of other Volkov facilities in the area. It also helped in keeping the local raider groups under some sort of control able to deploy units quickly to deal with them if they started to become problematic. Valeriya stayed at this posting until she was 32. Making the settlement her home. A home she would leave during an operation to recover a lost transport. Valeriya knew to any the company didn't really care about the people in the settlement. Interested in the settlement only because it had benefit in being there. However Valeriya was always able to look the other way.
However after the recovery of the lost transport an operation that turned into an utter mess. Valeriya deciding to go AWOL unwilling to continued to work for Volkov. Maybe due to the companies lack of care or what happened during that operation she was listed as KIA. After several months she somehow managed to get work with a small independent trade company, that didn't ask why she was listed as dead. Merely giving her a new ID.
After a year working for the trade company mostly guarding it's conveys, Valeriya ended up in New Anchorage. While she waited for the convoy to unload and trade off all it's goods she got time to tour the city. Liking what she saw and the fact she was looking for somewhere more permanent to live. Valeriya decided to make a go for it hearing New Anchorage was long for NC pilots.
[ ⛨ ] T H E M E C H
A large mech design used by Volkov, designed around two core idea's. 1. A mech that could take a beating. 2. A mech that could bring even heavier fire power to the battlefield, compared to a "standard" NC.
Thus Titans design came to light a mech protected by thick armour plating. With enough strength to haul large NC's weapons into battle. All this armor alongside the presence of a heavy weapon and it other armaments. Leaves Titan heavier and slower then most, requiring more power to haul it weight across the battlefield
Titan is painted gun metal gray with the Volkov logos on the mech have been crudely painted over with blue paint. Its armor currently covered in nicks and dents.
HHINPC1 Nova Plasma Cannon Mk1: A large plasma cannon designed to fire small blots of plasma at mid-long range at relatively high rate of fire. The weapon able to fire continually for about minute before requiring a moment to cool down. The weapon operating at beast when fired in short bursts The weapon is also able to charge more powerful shot at the cost of extra energy consumption and over heating the weapon. Due to the the Nova power requirements in combat it is powered by an armored back mounted plasma reactor. Located on the upper section the is attached to the upper section of a mech back. This reactor connected to the cannon by a belt, which then store power in several cells granting several seconds of fire or a half charged shot should the reactor be offline for whatever reason.
At close range the weapon becomes more of hindrance. It size making aiming difficult at all but slow targets. In melee the weapon only really use is that is can be used to club thing however the effectiveness of such a tactic is questionable. Missile Pods X2: Your basic run of the mil shoulder mounted missile pods armed mid ranged heat seeking missiles with 12 missiles per pod. The missiles can be fired in 4 round bursts. (2 missiles per pod)
Shiv Sub Machinegun: A small sub machinegun stored in the left arm under the armour. Only deploying when the weapon is activated. Only effective on lightly armored targets and is only effective at short range. The guns magazine holds 120 rounds per magazine and is reload via a mechanical system into the arm, the gun having a three round burst mode or fully automatic. Titan carries 1 extra clip
[ ⛨ ] R E L A T I O N S
None for now
Review time!
Outside of a few typos (tried instead of tired, for example), I think this is off to a great start. Though I do advise proofreading it and fixing the spelling/grammar when you have time. But I’ll get to the thick of the important questions I have rather than nitpick it if I get the basic gist of it down. So let’s get started.
(33)
Why 33? That’s quite the amount of experience by age alone and I’m trying to figure out what bearing this particularly has at the moment.
Valeriya was born in the heart of Volkov's mega-city.
Which one? Moscow? St. Petersburg? Novosibirsk? Yekaterinburg? Volgograd?
As she finished school and question was asked what did she want to do when she left school. Giving the thought of becoming a pilot. Deciding to ask her parents when she saw them next. The question thought not sitting well with her parents who both objected to the idea. This only made Valeriya want to become a pilot more, who left home to live with the uncle that raised her. Valeriya quickly growing to resent her parents refusing to to speaking or having anything to do with them.
Undergoing the surgery to have a Neural Plug installed, Valeriya began to the road to recovery and learning how to use an NC and the start of a career as a pilot with Volkov.
Volkov is definitely a bit more… extreme of the Major Corporations, but that comes with being the most “efficient”. Generally those in the megacity are tested to see if they have NC compatibility when they are very young and due to testing for positive/negative being basically harmless it really comes at no cost to anyone and is included in childhood physical exams. For example, Stein was tested when she was around nine years old and her father effectively sold her to the corporation as a soldier to gain more favor. Being pilots I am quite intrigued that they didn’t do likewise but I suppose they might’ve wanted a better life for their daughter considering the serious physical and psychological side effects that come from piloting a NC thus opting instead for other educational choices.
But with that in mind, her parents probably wouldn’t want to put the credits over to pay for the surgery and kept making decisions for her until she was an adult. Though I think Volkov recruiters would definitely try their hardest to buy their loyalty and in turn their daughter. I wonder what kind of reputations I could give them as a GM…. Hm….
However after the recovery of the lost transport an operation that turned into an utter mess. Valeriya deciding to go AWOL unwilling to continued to work for Volkov. Maybe due to the companies lack of care or what happened during that operation she was listed as KIA.
KIA would imply she was believed to die in battle (in suit?) which I find unlikely that Volkov would make presumptions as while you are in “pilot mode” your life signs among other things are linked with the neural computer. Volkov would be able to see if you were alive or dead unless your NC totally got destroyed which would have a lot of bad side effects presuming your core survived it alongside you as well. I’d suggest reworking this and trying to find something that could work elsewise, unfortunately. AWOL is fine, KIA probably not.
Yes I planned on fixing the gammer and typo's when I get the time.
As for the age I dunno kinda picked it at random if it a problem I'll change it. All I though off when I picked it. I would like to be an older pilot and didn't see the harm in running with that number
Yes I planned on fixing the gammer and typo's when I get the time.
As for the age I dunno kinda picked it at random if it a problem I'll change it. All I though off when I picked I would like to be an older pilot and didn't see the harm in running with that number
As for the backstory I'll work on altering it.
Just understand that the longer you’ve been a NC pilot the higher chance you’ve hit full synchronization more than once— and with that synchronization (aka “polaris shift”) lies in many GM-assigned mental, psychological, and sometimes physical problems. The woes of a NC pilot are many, and I believe it would be easier to not have over lengthy periods of experience. But there is nothing wrong being a thirty-something NC pilot who has been around the block; it just might be more challenging. Just a heads up.
Thank you for the heads up, but since you don't mind I'll stick with age I picked.
Anyway I've reworked the backstory a little, hopefully I've addressed the problems. I've only posted the back story since you seemed okay with everything else.
Valeriya was born in the heart of Volkov's mega-city of Novosibirsk. To a pair of NC pilots, who both worked for Volkov. Growing up Valeriya was mostly raised by one of her uncles and her aunt. Her parents retuning to work as pilots when Valeriya turned 3. In order to provide the best they could for their daughter. As a child and teenager Valeriya didn't understand this. Leading to her to dislike her parents, but for as much as she grew to dislike them she grew to admire the NCs the piloted. One of the few memories that Valeriya considered positive is hearing her parents talk about their mechs and the things they did in them. These stories sparking an interest in becoming a pilot herself, young Valeriya often picturing self piloting an NC.
This interest stuck with Valeriya thought her schooling, although faded slightly as other interests came into her life. It always stayed close to her. Even as she reached 16 birthday she still lost herself in her mind picturing herself as pilot going missions. Pretending to by the NCs she was "piloting" acting out it's actions. This marking her as the weird one in her small circle of friends. However Valeriya didn't overly mind.
As she finished school and question was asked what did she want to do when she left school. Giving the thought of becoming a pilot. Deciding to ask her parents when she saw them next. The question though not sitting well with her parents who both objected to the idea. This only made Valeriya want to become a pilot more, who left home to live with the uncle that raised her. Valeriya quickly growing to resent her parents refusing to speak with them or having anything to do with them.
Having under gone the test to see if she what her sync rate was with an NC at the age of 6 with her Uncle, who knew about her dream to become a pilot and had done tried encourage it. Wanting to make sure the child he had practically raised do the job had always dreamed of doing. Valeriya's uncle helped her get the necessary funds to undergo the the surgery, although never shared how. He helped Valeriya get in contact with Volkov to see about getting some sort of employment. Volkov interested seeming interested in acquiring another pilot. .
Undergoing the surgery to have a Neural Plug installed, Valeriya began to the road to recovery and learning how to use an NC and the start of a career as a pilot with Volkov. Once recovered and trained in the use of an NC she was posted to a small "independent" settlement that was under Volkov protection. The company having a good in it as it was along a supply major route to a couple of other Volkov facilities in the area. It also helped in keeping the local raider groups under some sort of control able to deploy units quickly to deal with them if they started to become problematic. Valeriya stayed at this posting until she was 32. Making the settlement her home. A home she would leave during an operation to recover a lost transport. Valeriya knew to any the company didn't really care about the people in the settlement. Interested in the settlement only because it had benefit in being there. However Valeriya was always able to look the other way.
However after the recovery of the lost transport an operation that turned into an utter mess. Valeriya deciding to go AWOL unwilling to continue working for Volkov. Listed as AWOL officially she was branded a traitor to the company. The began made some minor effort to actively hunt her down. After several months and with a lot of luck and what Valeriya thought must have been a lack of interest in hunting down one rouge NC that only seemed to cost them when they hunted it. Seemed to give up and resort to a simple shoot on site method, whenever they spotted Valeriya or her NC. Valeriya hiding out in whatever independent settlements she knew had no or very minimal Volkov presence.
After several months she somehow managed to get work with a small independent trade company, that didn't ask why she was listed as AWOL. Seeing the use of an NC Merely giving her a new ID and altered the mech so it wouldn't register as Volkov a NC changing the call sign to Titan.
After a year working for the trade company mostly guarding it's conveys, Valeriya ended up in New Anchorage. While she waited for the convoy to unload and trade off all it's goods she got time to tour the city. Liking what she saw and the fact she was looking for somewhere more permanent to live. Valeriya decided to make a go for it hearing New Anchorage was long for NC pilots.
Having under gone the test to see if she what her sync rate
Compatibility, not Sync Rate.
Seeing the use of an NC Merely giving her a new ID and altered the mech so it wouldn't register as Volkov a NC changing the call sign to Titan.
Is it Titan or Titian? Your CS reads it as Titian yet you call it Titan here. I can easily give you time to proofread your CS, the other GM's are not exactly online right now if you need to.
Rest of the CS I can work with; but I'll wait on Nutts and Molly to see if there is anything they feel necessary to say before approving it.
Dang it I thought I got all those. Dam auto correct. Well now that you seem content with the CS I'll go proof read again.
Edit:
I've had a basic look over the CS and picked out at least some of the errors, however it's now 1:34 where I am. So it's bed time. I'll be able to clean it up with some rest. Anyway I've stuck my CS below with tweaked backstory.
Valeriya "Val" Raskova
"So long as my life is simple and I can be pilot I'm happy.
[ ⛨ ] C A L L S I G N
Titan
[ ⛨ ] N C O R I G I N
Volkov
[ ⛨ ] D - O - B
May 27th, 2653 (24)
[ ⛨ ] G E N D E R
Female
[ ⛨ ] A P P E A R A N C E
Tried would be the first word many would use to describe Valeriya. The girl always looking like she could fall asleep at moment. Even when she had a good full nights rest, it simply being her natural look. A small lazy grin semi permanently glued to her face. Fading only when her mood shifts into a more negative one. Growing when her mood is in a more positive state.
Psychically, Valeriya is quite short standing around 5 foot 5 inches and is of a lean build. With a set of jade green eyes naturally, however she wears cosmetic contacts to make them red.
Valeriya's clothing tends to be whatever she can get a hold of that fits. Leading to some odd mismatched combinations of pants, dresses, tank tops, and shirts. With colours that sometimes clash horribly or going a single monotone of colour. Not caring how silly she may look going for being comfortable over everything else. Dressing to best match the weather and whatever she is doing. At times or if the a situation demands it seems Valeriya takes some care in her appearance, wearing some sort of carefully planned outfit.
The only thing Valeriya makes some sort of effort with is her jet black hair which is kept either in a bun or pony tail. Favoring the bun during the day or when piloting her NC and pony tail at night or whenever she's got free time. She lets it flow freely every once and a while showing it to be shoulder length.
[ ⛨ ] P E R S O N A L I T Y
At first glance, Valeriya tends to come across as quite and borderline antisocial. Happier to merely watch those around her going about their day. This is however only a half truth, as Valeriya does enjoy human interaction but she finds it difficult. Having trouble gauging what people are thinking and feeling, unless it's painfully obvious. Although most of the time Valeriya wont really care. Having never really cared what other are thinking unless it directly affects her. Merely acting the way she dose simply because it is her. Her actions guided by her own morals, loyalties and honor code that she adheres herself to. Not that she willing to share what that honor code is exactly. Valeriya being quite a tight lipped woman, when it comes certain things about herself, when she simply wants to be or order to be.
Valeriya at her core is a caring laid back person, who seems to always be slightly happy when left to her own devices. She of person who likes to keep her the things in her life as simple as humanly possible, for long as possible. Valeriya is the type that likes to do things at her own pace, hating it when she feels pressured to do things quickly or that she doesn't want to. Although makes a exception when she is piloting her NC or around a superior. Understanding that it merely part of the life she chose. Outside of that it is one of the easiest ways to sour the woman mood a task that is not easy, given her laid back nature. At times she almost seems to look down and regretful but refuses to talk about it.
Once inside her NC or as needed Valeriya show's an attitude befitting a solider who seems to enjoy her line of work ... most of the time.
[ ⛨ ] S K I L L S E T
Drawing and sketches: Valeriya is skilled at drawing and sketching something she has been doing since she was a teenager.
Soldiers Instincts: Having been a pilot since 18 and seen battle several times. Valeriya has developed a fairly good sense of danger. Often allowing a second or two to either ready herself for a fight or flee.
[ ⛨ ] B A C K S T O R Y
Valeriya was born in the heart of Volkov's mega-city of Novosibirsk. To a pair of NC pilots, who both worked for Volkov. Growing up Valeriya was mostly raised by one of her uncles and her aunt. Her parents retuning to work as pilots when Valeriya turned 3. In order to provide the best they could for their daughter. As a child and teenager Valeriya didn't understand this. Leading to her to dislike her parents, but for as much as she grew to dislike them she grew to admire the NCs the piloted and the work they did. One of the few memories that Valeriya considered positive is hearing her parents talk about their mechs and the things they did in them. These stories sparking an interest in becoming a pilot herself, young Valeriya often picturing self piloting an NC.
This interest stuck with Valeriya thought her schooling, although faded slightly as other interests came into her life. It always stayed close to her. Even as she reached 16 birthday she still lost herself in her mind picturing herself as pilot going missions. Pretending to by the NCs she was "piloting" acting out it's actions. This marking her as the weird one in her small circle of friends. However Valeriya didn't overly mind.
As she finished school and question was asked what did she want to do when she left school. Giving the thought of becoming a pilot. Deciding to ask her parents when she saw them next. The question though not sitting well with her parents who both objected to the idea. This only made Valeriya want to become a pilot more, who left home to live with the uncle that raised her. Valeriya quickly growing to resent her parents refusing to speak with them or having anything to do with them.
Having under gone the test to see if she was NC compatible at the age of 6 with her Uncle, who knew about her dream to become a pilot and had done what he could to encourage it. Wanting to make sure the child he had practically raised to do the job had always dreamed of doing. Valeriya's uncle helped her get the necessary funds to undergo the the surgery, although never shared how. He helped Valeriya get in contact with Volkov to see about getting some sort of employment. The company seeming interested when her test records showed a positive result.
Undergoing the surgery to have a Neural Plug installed, Valeriya began to the road to recovery and learning how to use an NC and the start of a career as a pilot with Volkov. Once recovered and trained in the use of an NC she was posted to a small "independent" settlement that was under Volkov protection. The company having a good interest in it as it was along a supply major route to a couple of other Volkov facilities in the area. It also helped in keeping the local raider groups under some sort of control able to deploy units quickly to deal with them if they started to become problematic. Valeriya stayed at this posting until she was 23. Making the settlement her home. A home she would leave during an operation to recover a lost transport. Valeriya knew to any the company didn't really care about the people in the settlement. Interested in the settlement only because was beneficial to the company in being there. However Valeriya was always able to look the other way.
However after the recovery of the lost transport, an operation that turned into an utter mess. Valeriya deciding to go AWOL unwilling to continue working for Volkov. Listed as AWOL officially she was branded a traitor to the company. Volkov began to make some minor effort to actively hunt her down. After several months and with a lot of luck and what Valeriya thought must have been a lack of interest in hunting down one rouge NC that only seemed to cost them when they hunted it. Volkov seemed to give up and resort to a simple shoot on site method, whenever they spotted Valeriya or her NC. Valeriya hiding out in whatever independent settlements she knew had no or very minimal Volkov presence.
After several months she somehow managed to get work with a small independent trade company, that didn't ask why she was listed as AWOL. Seeing the use of an NC as highly beneficial. Merely giving her a new ID and altered the mech so it wouldn't register as Volkov a NC changing the call sign to Titan.
After a year working for the trade company mostly guarding it's convoys, Valeriya ended up in New Anchorage. While she waited for the convoy to unload and trade off all it's goods she got time to tour the city. Liking what she saw and the fact she was looking for somewhere more permanent to live. Valeriya decided to make a go for it when she heard New Anchorage was looking for NC pilots.
[ ⛨ ] T H E M E C H
A large mech design used by Volkov, designed around two core idea's. 1. A mech that could take a beating. 2. A mech that could bring even heavier fire power to the battlefield, compared to a "standard" NC.
Thus Titans design came to light a mech protected by thick armour plating. With enough strength to haul large NC's weapons into battle. All this armor alongside the presence of a heavy weapon and it other armaments, leaves Titan heavier and slower then most. The Mech requiring more power to haul its weight across the battlefield. Thus the mech had been fitted with large plasma reactor to ensure Titan maintains the same operational time as "standard" NCs.
Titan is painted gun metal gray, with the Volkov logos on the mech have been crudely painted over with blue paint. Its armor currently covered in nicks and dents.
HHINPC1 Nova Plasma Cannon Mk1 (Nova): A large plasma cannon designed to fire small blots of plasma at mid-long range at relatively high rate of fire. The weapon able to fire continually for about minute before requiring a moment to cool down. The weapon operating at best when fired in short bursts allowing the weapons cooling system to keep the heat level down. The weapon is also able to charge more powerful shot at the cost of extra energy consumption and over heating the weapon. Due to the Nova's power requirements it is powered by an armored back mounted plasma reactor. Located on the upper section of the equipped mech. This reactor connected to the cannon by a cable. The Nova store's power in several cells inside the weapon, granting several seconds of fire or a half charged shot should the reactor be offline for whatever reason.
At close range the weapon becomes more of hindrance. It size making aiming difficult at all but slow targets. In melee, the weapons only real use is that is can be used to club things however the effectiveness of such a tactic is questionable.
Missile Pods X2: Your basic run of the mil shoulder mounted missile pods armed mid ranged heat seeking missiles with 12 missiles per pod. The missiles can be fired in 4 round bursts. (2 missiles per pod)
VAISSM Shiv Sub Machinegun: A small sub machinegun stored in the left arm under the armour. Only deployed when the weapon is activated. Only effective on lightly armored targets and is only effective at short range. The guns magazine holds 120 rounds per magazine and is reload via a mechanical system built into the arm, the gun having a three round burst mode or fully automatic. Titan carries 1 extra clip
Having under gone the test to see if she what her sync rate was with an NC compatible at the age of 6 with her Uncle, who knew about her dream to become a pilot and had done what he could to encourage it. Wanting to make sure the child he had practically raised to do the job had always dreamed of doing. Valeriya's uncle helped her get the necessary funds to undergo the the surgery, although never shared how. He helped Valeriya get in contact with Volkov to see about getting some sort of employment. The company seeming interested when her test records showed a fairly high compatibly positive result.
Edited from original comment:
It took me a while to work out what it was that both made me interested in the character but also unsure about the cs as a whole. I think it comes down to the age.
Your character is 33, but seems to be portrayed as a younger, attractive female. At 33 she would have over 10 years of practice and training as well as being someone who has been in several battles and confrontations. 10 plus years of being wired into an NC and killing people can cause all types of mental problems like PTSD.
There's also the question of why she would wait 10 years to leave Volkov and yet Volkov would give up after a few months. This seems a bit balanced in the opposite of what it should be seeing as they are a large corporation that controls a large army.
I think the character needs to be in their mid 20s and that the age is set a bit high. The character is interesting and with aspects like wearing coloured contacts and mismatched clothes she seems fun, but it doesn't fit the overall theme of her if she's older and especially if she's supposed to be a soldier.
@Evil Snowman@NuttsnBolts I'm in agreement with Nutts here, I think a lot of the issues present with the character are tied to her age and the potential implications that has on the RP.
Also, I only read the latest version I didn't read the above comments mostly cause there was an updated cs sheet and I just saw that, (plus it was 5am when I saw it at first)
Alright then I'll lower the age ... 24 sound okay? I'll make the few adjustments to the backstory to reflect this.
EDIT:
Okay so I've adjusted the age to the one I stated. Would of waited to see if the was okay but firefox made all my text super small for some reason, after I had changed everything around. I've just altered the CS above as I've got to fix firefox on my comp and copy pasting on my phone is a real pain.
@Evil Snowman After talking it over, we've come to the decision that we don't feel like we can accept Valeriya right now. Some key points in the edits weren't really addressed (things like compatibility which aren't really a point of preference), and as it stands we don't see her fitting into the RP very well in general.
Thanks so much for your interest though. I hope there's no hard feelings, best of luck with your future RPing!
Okay I'm sorry for the double post figured this would make this wasn't over looked.
Anyway I having had a little time to think. I'm wondering if one of you could give me a more detailed break on how the character doesn't fit. As if you still willing to have me, I wouldn't mind reworking Valeriya to fit the RPs perimeters. (As I've clearly at least partly missed the mark) Or if that's going to be too much, trying again with brand new character. (making sure not to take so long) I know it might be consider a bit of an ask but I really would like to join. If you don't mind give a more detailed break down could I get it in a PM.
