Two scenarios are presented. You have to choose one of the two.

Once you have answered, you then present your own two scenarios for the next poster to answer.

Would you rather eat a egg salad sandwich that has been left out in the hot sun for the entire day, or punch a baby in the face.

punch a baby in the face. shit, that is easy. i'll even eat that fucking sandwich so long as i get to punch a baby in the face. my knuckles are already feeling it, and they like it.

Would you rather live naked in a cave somewhere in the mountains of Greece making hand written copy after copy of the Christian bible while living on bread and water, thinking about women and wine and all of the beautiful parts of life that you are missing out on, but you persevere because of your steadfast mission, your meaningful dedication to the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, and the promise of an afterlife you know in your heart will be worth the life you have lost, and it will be worth the sores that now cover your body because of the constant exposure and poor hygiene, and worth the loss of your teeth one by one in bloody and painful succession, because the lack of vitamins in your diet are taking a toll on your health, so now your own fresh and malnourished blood dribbles onto the pages of your carefully constructed bibles, marring the work ever so slightly that one thing, the one small thing that seems so huge in your life because it is all that ties you to the physical world, can never be perfect in the eyes of God or man, bringing doubts in your heart that grow like an internal blackness, larger and larger until on your dying day thirty years hence, you will feel completely hopeless, alone, and like a person who has wasted their life, and your faith will slowly slip until at that last moment, at that very last moment, when the final coherent thought slips into your fading conscious, it will be that black doubt that you leave the world with...

or...

Would you rather live the life you are living now?

I would rather live naked in a cave somewhere in the mountains of Greece making hand written copy after copy of the Christian bible while living on bread and water, thinking about women and wine and all of the beautiful parts of life that I am missing out on, but I persevere because of my steadfast mission, my meaningful dedication to the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, and the promise of an afterlife I know in my heart will be worth the life I have lost, and it will be worth the sores that now cover my body because of the constant exposure and poor hygiene, and worth the loss of my teeth one by one in bloody and painful succession, because the lack of vitamins in my diet are taking a toll on my health, so now my own fresh and malnourished blood dribbles onto the pages of my carefully constructed bibles, marring the work ever so slightly that one thing, the one small thing that seems so huge in my life because it is all that ties me to the physical world, can never be perfect in the eyes of God or man, bringing doubts in my heart that grow like an internal blackness, larger and larger until on my dying day thirty years hence, I will feel completely hopeless, alone, and like a person who has wasted their life, and my faith will slowly slip until at that last moment, at that very last moment, when the final coherent thought slips into my fading conscious, it will be that black doubt that I leave the world with.

Would you rather kiss a butt or eat a cup of boogers?

This is the kind of situation where I'd like to know more about the butt in question. There's a pretty wide selection to choose from. Also matters where on the butt as well.

Still, I'd rather kiss a butt despite knowing nothing about it.

Would you rather watch your parents make love for a year, or participate in said love making once.

Jesus, watch for a year. At some point it stops being gross just to become impressive they can keep it going that long.

Would you rather be unhappy and gainfully employed or happy and unemployed?

Another one where I wish I knew more. What kind of job do I have? Is the job itself making me unhappy? Is the happiness/unhappiness transient?

I'll have to go with unhappy but gainfully employed. Happiness is easy enough to come by for me. A stable career isn't.

Would you rather be an explorer during the time of space travel, or a colonial explorer of the past?

Explorer during the time of space travel. Because the colonial period was just Imperialism: The Era Of Human History. Even if whatever organization I'm exploring space for is imperialist, at least it won't be humans we're slaughtering and stealing from.

Would you rather live in an anarcho-capitalist society or an anarcho-communist society, assuming that everyone in said societies follows the ideology they are based upon without any deviation?

Well since I'm pretty damn close to an Anarcho-Communist already, I suppose I would end up there anyway.

Would you rather be a penguin or a duck?

I'd say that ducks can fly, but then again, swimming in the ocean is basically just flying in water. I think I'd still go for the duck, though, assuming that it's the kind of duck I'm familiar with (Pacific black), since they're confident city dwellers so they have a lower chance of starvation or predation.

Would you rather have your soul encased in a phylactery (of your choice) that you have to carry around for the rest of your life knowing that some passing spirit might mess with it if you leave it somewhere, or spend one year as a wandering spirit unable to interact with the physical plane except by messing with people who use phylacteries?

Assume 0.1% of the population fills both niches.

Had to look up phylactery as I wasn't sure what it was. Personally, I'd have the phylactery be a specified amount of ink. I'd then have that ink used for a sweet tattoo. Can't misplace it if it's inserted into my skin.

Would you rather set an orphanage on fire or vote for Trump.

Think carefully on this one.

VOTE FOR TRUMP. HE'LL SET 1000 ORPHANAGES ON FIRE!!! yeah baby!!

Would you rather kill 500 people instantaneously or kill 1 slowly, with passion, and hear every scream, moan (muffled of course, unless you're in the woods) and gasp as you suck the life painfully out of the victim's body and best of all, have it all recorded on digital camera so you can watch it all over again (pause, rewind, slowmo) at your personal leisure?