Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Three Five
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Three Five

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It is a gloomy Fall day, and you watch the rain slide listlessly down your window as you contemplate the age of that Chinese takeout in your refrigerator. Just as you are about to throw caution to the wind and finish the last of that General Tso's chicken, you are roused from your comfy armchair by the sound of the front doorbell ringing. You move to the door and open it gingerly, wondering who could be calling at this hour. Looking down, you see a weasely-looking man in Coke-bottle glasses and a smile too wide for his face thrusting a slightly greasy envelope into your hands.

"Special Delivery!" he says, and disappears around the corner as you grasp the envelope.

You look at the envelope and your name is stamped crookedly on the face, but next to your address is a garish green and pink palm tree and a fairly smug-looking sun with aviator sunglasses. Above the sun, in what appears to be some sort of speech bubble, are the words "YOU'VE WON!!!!!!!!" in bold, red font. Maybe it was the slight hope of escape from this darned rain, the egging-on from that smug-looking sun, or just simple curiosity, but you decide to open the letter right then and there:


Dear Sir or Madam,

Congratulations! You are one of the few very lucky winners to have been selected for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! You have won an all-expense-paid trip to our tropical island corporate office and will be given the chance to use our state-of-the-art virtual reality technology! Ever wanted to be practically transported into another world? Your days of ignorant daydreaming are over. This fantasy is now a reality for you and you only! (Participants may not inform loved ones or relatives about this opportunity, or risk being disqualified).


A free trip? And VR technology? Sounds awesome! You're ready and rarin' to go! So what do you do now? Do you forgo your disease-ridden leftovers to send a reply indicating your interest in claiming your prize? Or do you forget about this scam-mail crap and go get some delicious salmonella? THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

But wait. There is some small print at the bottom of the letter, but you can barely read it. Reading it would break the 4th wall, so you decide not to. Still, you feel as if another person connected to your consciousness reads the text. That's odd.



So after all that, anyone interested? Got any questions/comments/concerns/complements for your insanely clever OP?
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Three Five
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Nobody? Come on, the evil scientists didn't send out all those letters for free you know! By the evil economists' calculations, there should be at least a 1% response rate...probably! :P

Our evil representatives are standing by to answer any questions you may have about this organ harvest amazing prize package.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by MissCapnCrunch
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MissCapnCrunch Pᴏʟɪᴛᴇ & Pᴇᴄᴜʟɪᴀʀ / Pɪʀᴀᴛᴇ Pʀɪɴᴄᴇss

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I'm ready for my vacation to start!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Three Five
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Oooh, now here's an enthusiastic winner right here! Welcome aboard, fine human! We are looking forward to sending you on a vacation of a lifetime! We just need to wait for a few more of our magnificent winners to respond, then we'll be off on our adventure! A private jet awaits!
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Brasslazer
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Brasslazer Snunch King

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I don't really care about VR or tropical islands, but I'll take anything thats free!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Three Five
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Three Five

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That's the kind of spirit we're looking for! What a fine upstanding person!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Three Five
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Three Five

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The scientists who have so generously offered the general public a once-in-a-lifetime offer sadly must recind their offer due to a lack of interest. We can't keep our business afloat without warm bodies interest from lovely people like you!

So, unless more than two people are foolish enough to accept are interested, the scientists will have to close up shop and take their lovely prizes elsewhere.
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