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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Gowi
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Gowi

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who relies on conning others and compulsively lying to get around.


Sai's inner feelings:

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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Little Bill
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Little Bill Unbannable

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Any additional character sheets or modifications on existing sheets should be done by 10 PM EST (Five Hours from this post). At that point, I'll be deciding.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Matsuri
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Matsuri procrastination station

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Finally managed to get a CS done!

its late so I may have fucked up big time with backstory and spell checking

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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Redrum
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I'm afraid I might be too late, but here's my little brat anyway!

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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Quinntessential
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Quinntessential Entirely too excited.

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@DeadBeatWalking - The suspense here is killing me. It's like Auditions for the school play.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Gowi
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@DeadBeatWalking - The suspense here is killing me. It's like Auditions for the school play.

You should see it behind the scenes. Even more tense.
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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Little Bill
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Little Bill Unbannable

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Alright guys. After a long duel with Gowi, I finally made my decision. This was not an easy choice, so don't feel bad if you didn't make the cut. I thank you all for applying.

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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by DruSM157
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Good luck everyone, it's been a wild ride and I've been honored to create character sheets among all of you; I wish you all the best of luck since I didn't make the cut--

Gowi whispers to Drew

Oh. I made the cut? Good luck to everyone still!
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Snagglepuss89
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Hah, Gowi can confirm that I hate personality sections (I myself usually don't have it down for the character until the second or third post) because it feels like a lot of telling instead of showing, so I figured that, if anything, would be the major issue. I'll see what I can do to revise it. As for the eyescar- can't say I'm a fan of it, but it's the vibe the facial expression gives off that's absolutely perfect for him.

The religion bit wasn't important and cutting it won't really change much, so yeah that's easy and doable.

As for the third bit- I don't think that would work, but I like the idea and can certainly try and adapt it to the character. The Way of the Wind lends itself much more to a word of mouth sort of teaching (words are wind, after all), that doesn't mean though that it can't have it's own tenants or teachings that can tie into each chapter. Perhaps with a pretext of him dictating his travels to someone in the future rather than writing a book. Or someone else writing the book after having interviewed him. Something like:

'Strive to die happy. Regret breeds fear before death. The scared die breathless.' I had always lived by these words, commited my entire being to them. However, I would be a liar if I said I truly understood them before that day. Watching the mighty Daremo gasping on the ground, scared and desperate- My master was a wise man. I wonder what he had to witness to gain that wisdom. ~ Madanami Hyōryū, Disciple of the Wind
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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Quinntessential
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Quinntessential Entirely too excited.

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@DeadBeatWalking - Prepare for more beef. I'm talking fucking slaughterhouse style.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by LeeRoy
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LeeRoy LeeRoy Brightmane

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@DeadBeatWalking
I am still waiting for a reply on my assessment of your review.

I cannot proceed without discussing the issue further.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Snagglepuss89
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Did some editing, I'll go ahead and bold the relevent sections for easy reading. Also: You called him a stringbean but not... you know... a snake. Long and thin. (Also I'm using the asian symbolization of the snake. To quote:
which fits him a bit more than the western depictions. Although it's a bit of both really.)


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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by LeeRoy
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LeeRoy LeeRoy Brightmane

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And now I wait.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Quinntessential
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Quinntessential Entirely too excited.

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@DeadBeatWalking - I've gotten about half of this written. I'll keep writing for you tomorrow. Should have something up in the morning hours, PST. Thanks!
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Hyōryū embodies the tall and thin archetype. He has never met a man shorter than him, and rarely anyone of equal height.


Think you got a tad mixed there.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Snagglepuss89
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I had to read that about ten times to find the mistake, it looks so natural.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Quinntessential
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@DeadBeatWalking - Redid the profile. Added some photos. Hope this is good! On the topic of her age - I was assuming 5-6 years of service, having come of age at 15 (normal for the time). I redid the profile having her be 28, so we'll go from there, but my original idea was 5-6 years a Magistrate after she was considered an adult. I'm cool with playing it either way.



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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Redrum
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Sorry for the delay, here's my final edit.



To be honest, I actually had a hard time thinking about other skills for Usagi so I went ahead with a few of your suggestions. I'm really disappointed that I hit such a block with this character, but I'll keep my fingers crossed that I make the cut. Overall, it was fun just to make a character in this type of setting so thank you for that experience anyway!
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Matsuri
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Matsuri procrastination station

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Fixed up Kagura's personality a bit and history completely. Hope this red head makes it in!

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Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Gowi
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@Jay Kalton

I hope so too! I'm sure dead would appreciate it if you highlight (text color? bold) your changes so it is easier to review.
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