Hi, I'm KnightShade as you may have guessed. When I signed up to the new site I probably wasn't as drunk as I'd have myself believe, I think I just changed my name because to sabotage myself a bit here to make me take the action I was probably planning then. I'm not sure how many of you know me, I've been around for atleast a year so I find that a little sad, but I've forgiven myself that as I know I did the best I could with my social anxiety disorder as bad as it's been. I've had it for 15 years so far as I can tell, which is 3/4 of my life now, my first memory is of pretending to be asleep to avoid talking to other kids is how I know. Last year was my first year at university, I'd always thought in a new place I could change who I was and it really didn't work out. This year I'm resitting and things are going well: I've had three CBT sessions which were very useful, then a two day course based around a self help book, I get along with my flatmates I'm living with next year, I've joined societies which I couldn't do last year, lots of other things too. So, yeah, I always find this bit somewhat patronizing, perhaps as it resonates with me, but this place has become something of a crutch for me but it's also holding me back I think. I really want to take the risk of living life without this to fall back on or use as an excuse.

This place has in some ways helped me grow as a person: in taking insults, my sense of humor, and my tastes. I still might do some RPing eventually, but I'm on another forum for that. There are some people I might like to keep in touch with, I did just type that I'd let them message me but that's falling back into old patterns really. Tripz, Nat, Sera, Drakel: I've enjoyed talking with all of you at times and if any of you'd like to stay in touch message me, it's perfectly fine if you don't want to. I'll be around two more days I think. Goodbye everyone and good luck in your lives.

Knight, if you are still here reading these messages I'll have you know that this site helped you grow and helped you live your life as you grew... So I don't believe that this site is holding you back though I won't stop you from leaving either. You've been an awesome guy here and a chill dude to meet. I'd be honored to stay in touch though I still say that while you should stay I'm glad to see that you're living your life more and still improving from your social anxiety.

Take care dude... Now, and forever.

Hey man, I definitely know you. Good for you that you're going out and learning to be among people more. It's important and very fulfilling. Best of luck! It's been real.

Good luck with it all mate, I've done a few leavings myself but always found myself coming back.

But time away is always a good thing. Go get 'em tiger

There are speshul plants out there that can help with your anxiety.

Take care of yourself, Knight. Know that I will always be here should you need to talk.

who?

Seravee said
Take care of yourself, Knight. Know that I will always be here should you need to talk.

As would I dude... I wish you the best of luck on your travels.

By. I don't know who you are but good luck

Drakel said
Knight, if you are still here reading these messages I'll have you know that this site helped you grow and helped you live your life as you grew... So I don't believe that this site is holding you back though I won't stop you from leaving either. You've been an awesome guy here and a chill dude to meet. I'd be honored to stay in touch though I still say that while you should stay I'm glad to see that you're living your life more and still improving from your social anxiety.Take care dude... Now, and forever.

I definitely did in ways, but it isn't at the moment. I sometimes come here to try to relax, and I find the anxiety hasn't improved a great deal here and I don't post much. To an extent it can be because I could look at old posts and see how stupid I feel I was, while I can't do that now I can still remember them and at the moment might make new ones to do the same while I'm not fully self assured. There's other things that make it worse for me here as well, online I'm more likely to post something I wouldn't say which opens me up to more criticism, which also of course is easier online. I know it's not the case that this place or online forums are bad for everyone, far from it, but at the moment it's just not what I need at the moment. I might come back when I've done my degree, or over the summer maybe, I've not really planned when.

Hank said
Hey man, I definitely know you. Good for you that you're going out and learning to be among people more. It's important and very fulfilling. Best of luck! It's been real.

You're probably one of the last people I'd expect to have replied, so I thought I ought to say, before I go I really like the person you're becoming. Good luck in your life and with Taaj. And especially thankyou, as I probably never would of found out about Hannibal without you, and I'ts one of my favorite things now

Bye everyone.

Kill it, dude. Good luck.