Can I like post a CS here expressly for the porpoises of critique? If so, I posted this one CS up on a 1x1 interest check thread and I want to know how I could make this charrie better. This is completely unrelated to why nobody is posting in my interest check thread where I posted this idea for a charrie. I know that the fandom genre isn't all that popular. WHAT I DO WANT TO KNOW IS: how to make this character better, deeper, and just more fleshed out.

Since it was an RP idea of my own creation, I know I skimped on the history, but it was for a potential 1x1. I was going for a small, silent girl prone to frequent anxiety attacks, but the personality just came out sounding so DULL! Which is frankly a damn shame because I like the general premise of this charrie, even if the fandom for it (Accel World) is unpopular. I might use this charrie in some other weird (maybe arena?) fighting RP. If this inspires you to create some sort of fighting RP that's a spinoff of this charrie's fandom, I am all ears (insert Ferengi meme here).

Anywho, umm, for want of better phrasing: grade me senpai(s)?



(If it helps, here are two other CS for comparison that I've created for different RPs thus far. The first one, Lin, is for a free RP, but the second one, Menn, is for an advanced RP that never got off the ground. The third one I actually WANT feedback on as it's pending GM approval, so that's probably the one I should be asking for help with. >,>)