Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.

<Snipped quote by ChickenTeriyaki>

Why wwpuld you post a copypasta?

@BrobyDDark

What the did you just ing say about me, you little ? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ing words. You think you can get away with saying that to me over the Internet? Think again, er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, . The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable off the face of the continent, you little . If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn . I will fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ing dead, kiddo.

<Snipped quote by BrobyDDark>

Saying something unique or interesting is hard.

@BrobyDDark

<Snipped quote by Awson>

How do you feel, understanding that, at your most dire hour, when you need to say something meaningful the most, you're probably going to slip up and post another copy-pasta?

<Snipped quote by BrobyDDark>

If somebody actually succeeds in urging me to say something meaningful, then you'd have to read an entire paragraph composed of my philosophical ideas and SJW rantage. Hence my title. Trust me, you wouldn't want that.

How does it feel knowing the only meaningful things you can say on any subject is about internet politics and philosophy?

<Snipped quote by BrobyDDark>

Not exactly.

If somebody actually succeeds in urging me to say something meaningful, then you'd have to read an entire paragraph composed of my philosophical ideas and SJW rantage. Hence my title. Trust me, you wouldn't want that.

@BrobyDDark

<Snipped quote by ChickenTeriyaki>

Hey, don't take that literally! I was joking there.

And if you're going to ask something like "How does it feel knowing that nobody understands you?" or "How does it feel knowing that nobody gets your corny ass humor?", then just don't ask. I'm fully aware of that.