Here's my character WIP

Slightest word of caution, admittedly I know little about religion and what I do know is in Spanish, so I ask for some forgiveness if terms weren't used correctly. I did take the time to do my research, though, so hopefully it's at least believable. And some contradictions should be intentional, what with a hidden past cause people like mystery right? _{I'm so sorry I promise I tried also shoutout to my peeps on discord for telling me to just do it}

I'll either post my character tomorrow or the next day. If I don't get around to it, yell at me or it won't get done.

General pointers for everyone:

• A lot of people go over the three skill limit. Your skills don't limit what you can do (i.e. you can still ride a horse even if you don't have it as skill) but its the things that you are REALLY good at.
• A lot of people haven't given their characters sufficient armour - in particular archers, and particularly people need helmets. Helmets are the most important piece of armour and if you don't wear one in battle I will make sure your character gets their skull staved in with a pollaxe.
• A lot of people's personalities felt similar, especially the older mercs, a lot of 'kinda grim and serious and don't talk a lot but they have a sense of humour if you get to know them'. I get this is kind of a trope for older mercenaries, so I'm not particularly bothered about it, but if you have the exact same personality as another character that makes it a lot easier for me to decide which one I prefer...

There's probably a few more I'm forgetting, but oh well, onto the individual reviews:

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@Mattchstick The first issue with your C.S. is that you only gave me a picture, when I said that written descriptions were mandatory. Other than this I do like this character, someone in the middle of their life, still optimistic and learning, but tempered by experience. I know I did say to keep something back in your history, but I think you went a little far with that. He's a peasant, who hunts, who doesn't like to talk about his family. Regardless of whether or not his family life was something you wanted to keep vague, there were areas you could have expanded upon - what was he doing in the time between leaving home and joining the Band? What were circumstances in which he joined the Band?

The other issue I have is with your equipment section. The longbow you've linked in there is extremely light draw weight, we're talking almost 4x that for a medieval war bow. I'd like for you to have a proper side arm, and a little more armour than just what I presume is supposed to be gambeson? I am unsure as to historicity of that quiver design, but I'll let it fly.

In answer to your question, after 3 years of work with the band it is likely you could afford a horse.

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@KazAlkemi Overall I felt you were brief in pretty much all of your sections, the C.S. just needs to be fleshed out a little more to be in competition with some of the other submissions. But even though you were relatively brief, I still felt there was a bit of a contradiction in Kade's characterisation. You say that he is 'always listening to a situation, sizing it up before he jumps in to say his two cents.' But at the same time his weakness is that he is hot headed and says things and questions things in a way which gets him in trouble. Would someone that that listens to an evaluates situations as one of the core aspects of their personality have this as a weakness? I personally think this somewhat contradictory.

I wasn't sure what you meant by your third skill/ability - the one about having a modern look and blending in? Also, like Mattchstick, you need to give Kade a side arm and a helmet of some sort.

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@Forgiveness I took some issue with Kaine's backstory, namely the idea that they switched to crossbow after their bow was broken they couldn't afford to replace? Crossbows require more materials and have more complex assembly than most bows, I find it hard to believe that they could afford a crossbow, but couldn't afford having another bow stave carved. I also felt that your backstory has some elements very similar to the two previous C.S sheets.

I would like some more armour on your character, and I would like some more specificity in what type of crossbow you are using - is it a stirrup crossbow, a goats foot lever etc.

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@Gunther I like Baldric. Someone with some anger and alcohol issues is always a fun addition to the mix. The only real pointer that I have for you is to cut down on the number of abilities Baldy has to 3, you can still do other things, but these are your special qualities, the things you are better than most other people at. I would also consider perhaps having your character as the leader of lance rather than just a common infantry man considering their long history and relatively long tenure with the Band.

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@Patryk I like the idea behind this character, although I feel the concept still needs a good bit of developing. I really like the personality section despite it being brief. Gerald is a green boy who uses bravado to hide his fears and insecurities, he has nativity which will contrast nicely with a lot of the older members. I feel this is a good character for some interesting sustained character interaction and growth.

Going forwards, what you need to do is flesh each section out a little more, in particular your appearance. The same issues with equipment that I have pointed out above also apply, you need more armour if you're going to be in the cavalry. Perhaps attaching your character as someone else's squire/serjeant would be a nice idea?

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@Westwall Someone took up a non-combat role! Huzzar! I like Wulfric, has a different and interest backstory to a lot other characters and good reason for his taciturn nature. I would like you to add another paragraph to that personality, if someone were to speak to him would they find him to be like? I think it still needs something more. If you could also give me a written description of his appearance, and make it a little clearer just exactly what your three skills/abilities are that would be grand.

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@Jbcool I have no pointers for Brádach 'The Piper' MacShana - I love this character lol

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@Dziady I feel bad about this because the main issue I have with this character is something that you wouldn't/couldn't have known because I was talking about it in the Discord but not the thread. Essentially Taratio, Bordia and everything on that peninsula is a fictional equivalent of the Italian city states. I don't think the character fits with the location/culture you've grounded it in. Again, its not your fault, I really should finish the Wider World tab in the first post of the OOC...

If you want to keep the kinda eastern European vibe I'm getting from Berislav could move them to the mountains and forests on the border regions between Westar and Avaria? That could work. Or PM me and we'll work something out etc.

I'm going to forgive your lack of armour because you specified about your role as scout and you put it as your weakness. While I like this character, and I think it is well written and well thought out, ultimately I don't know if its going to be the right fit for this RP.

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@Trivval Oh boy, oh boy I like this character. The mute NPC thing is a favourite concept of mine to play as I am sure I have already gushed about in the discord. As for Il Sposoletto, someone with a bit more of manipulative and devious side will be a welcome addition. I could see Il Sposoletto rising through the ranks quickly... perhaps to quartermaster considering his administrate talents...

The only pointer I have is to cut your skills down to three.

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@POOHEAD189 Branimir Bradford will serve as a nice foil to Lem in many ways. More charismatic, honourable, and well bred than his fellow leftenant. I look forward to interacting with this character. The only pointer I have is to give him a helmet, he's a commander, he can afford one.

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@Iuniper I am somewhat torn on this character. On the one hand I can see you have put a lot of work and effort into building up some Lore for Westar and making a extensive character history, but I feel that this is in conflict with the role you have given yourself in the Band. You were still in Neystead when Adalmar II died, so a month or so before we start the RP. How did you rise to become the company paymaster in that time? The paymaster is one of the most important roles, you are in charge of distributing pay and looking after the coffers of the Band. Why would the Band hand over the control of its funds to someone it barely knows? I am afraid I am going to completely veto your character being able to fulfil this role with their current history.

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@Hero And last, but by no means least, we come to Sister Margaret - a character I am tempted to accept solely on the basis of what a breath of fresh air this has been after our assorted collection of grizzled mercs. This will vastly increase the variety of possible character interactions we can RP as a group. I really like that you've gone for something different on this, you get bonus points for doing so.

I have no real pointers for this character, although I wonder why they decided to join the Band of Fools specifically? Why choose a mercenary company as her vehicle to do the work of the Blessed One? The only other thing is that you mention having a Cross? The religious symbol of clerisy is something I haven't thought about yet, why not come to discord and brainstorm with me?

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Sorry if I seem a little harsh on there, but generally speaking everyone here has submitted a C.S. that (with the changes I have recommended) I would accept were it not for the sheer number of people who have applied. This is the main issue now. I was planning on having 8 slots including myself, but given the quantity and quality of the submissions I am considering increasing that number.

What I may to do is accept some of my favourites first and then discuss with them about who they think would be a good fit to round out the group. However, I will give everyone a day or so to make changes before I do this.

In other business:

@Aristo Sent me character by PM and I have responded on there.

I am still waiting on @LordofthePies for a character.

Is there anyone else still planning on sending me anything?

@Kassarock I have sent you a PM. :)

I like Baldric. Someone with some anger and alcohol issues is always a fun addition to the mix. The only real pointer that I have for you is to cut down on the number of abilities Baldy has to 3, you can still do other things, but these are your special qualities, the things you are better than most other people at. I would also consider perhaps having your character as the leader of lance rather than just a common infantry man considering their long history and relatively long tenure with the Band.

Thank you for this positive constructive criticism. This, I can work with. I have updated Baldric Durant with your comments. I took the additional items, I had initially placed in the "abilities" section and included their verbage in his personal history. I made his rank, "Man-at-Arms" which is what you expect for a Lance Commander. I had considered adding spaulders, simply to provide additional armor to that area. Do you believe that would be necessary? I limited his abilities to the first three, removing horsemanship to a skill acquired during his history.

I cannot RP as a young man, simply because I have been an old man longer than I was ever a boy. I am also a grizzled veteran in real life, so it suits me. I have been reading military history for 43 years and lived the life of a soldier for 21 years. Personally, I am not an alcoholic, but I learned how to from the best, my father.

@Kassarock

The first issue with your C.S. is that you only gave me a picture, when I said that written descriptions were mandatory.

Tactical written description inbound. ETA: this evening.

Regardless of whether or not his family life was something you wanted to keep vague, there were areas you could have expanded upon - what was he doing in the time between leaving home and joining the Band? What were circumstances in which he joined the Band?

Yeah, I had planned to explain that. It does need another paragraph. As for his family, initially it was going to be an orphan situation, but that was too cliche for me. I have a better explanation for him now, which I plan to keep secret.

The other issue I have is with your equipment section. The longbow you've linked in there is extremely light draw weight, we're talking almost 4x that for a medieval war bow.

That was just for visual reference. Can I just write in its draw weight in the description?

I'd like for you to have a proper side arm, and little more armour than just what I presume is supposed to be gambeson?

How about the one-handed ax pictured at his side? It's not a particularly effective melee weapon, but appears to have a hook on the back, which would be useful. As for armor, he's wearing a steel-plated brigandine, leather gauntlets (the left one being a shooting glove instead), and steel greaves. I'm not sure what could be more practical for an archer. Maybe I'll have a steel helmet on hand for combat. I'll look up a picture.

I am unsure as to historicity of that quiver design, but I'll let it fly.

Quickdraw quiver it is, then.

In answer to your question, after 3 years of work with the band it is likely you could afford a horse.

Her name is Horsey McHorseFace. Or not. Probably not.

Something important to note about the bow-wielding character(s), though: shooting a longbow is very, very different from shooting a light selfbow or something smaller. Since the high-poundage longbow has a high propensity to explode if it's open too long and it is extremely hard to open (the poundage increases sort of logarithmically such that the poundage at 30 inches draw is way higher than at 28), the way you shoot is completely different - a full-body exercise that engages your hips and uses momentum to open the bow before releasing an arrow. While it is possible to make tight groups while shooting a longbow at a close (<30 meters) distance, in a group like this you would definitely be shooting volleys into the distance with no care for precision. Endurance makes a good longbowman, not being a sharpshooter.

Also, the longbow, especially when unstrung, is going to be about as tall as your character. It will be a real task to string and unstring the bow, and you won't want to keep it strung for a long time like a lower-poundage bow. It will be especially hard to open if it's cold or - gods forbid - wet outside. You'll also want to use a lower-poundage bow for hunting, because really high poundage longbows tend to make bags of flesh explode. A 100 lb bow will make deer explode.

@Mattchstick You can always just stick the arrows in the ground or stick them in your belt. Usually young boys who needed to come out to war would carry the arrows from the carts to the longbowmen. Quivers are a more recent invention (from when archery came back into style as a chivalry thing). Bowbags were more commonly used, which was basically a leather-reinforced sock - the belt of the archer actually held the arrows.

Sorry, I hope I'm not being critical or anything like that - I just know a lot about warbow use. It's quite fascinating!

@Iuniper Well that depends on where we draw the line between "total historical accuracy" and "role-play liberty." I'm not saying that adhering to realism is not fun, obviously. But there is a point where you should be able to say "Okay, don't worry about that" to make the RP, I dunno, easier or more playable.

For example, it would be simpler to excuse the explosion of deer for the sake of not having to carry, string, maintain, and store two bows, when I'm already toting an axe and a knife. It would also be less fun to say I was an excellent marksman with two types of bow, used for different jobs with different training (hunting requires extreme accuracy, ranged combat does not). I spent my life hunting, so I would be used to that particular bow, and since we have never been in an actual war, my character would logically not have experience with a longbow, except that a longbow is far more useful in combat.

So i COULD write in that Cedric is just also really good with a longbow, or we could provide enough liberty to say that, in this roleplay, the longbow is also a practical hunting weapon. I mean, I'll leave it up to @Kassarock, but I somewhat doubt he wants me to either increase my skill (and inventory) or remove a pretty important element of my character (longbow skill or hunting skill).

Same for quivers. Rather that figure out where I'm going to stick the arrows in the ground, or limit myself to wedging them into my belt, it would be better to delegate arrows to a quiver. I don't know if I'll need to count my arrows or not. That's also the GM's call.

Endurance makes a good longbowman, not being a sharpshooter.

I'm sorry, are you suggesting that my character is NOT Legolas? /s

Bam, done.

@Iuniper Well that depends on where we draw the line between "total historical accuracy" and "role-play liberty." I'm not saying that adhering to realism is not fun, obviously. But there is a point where you should be able to say "Okay, don't worry about that" to make the RP, I dunno, easier or more playable.

For example, it would be simpler to excuse the explosion of deer for the sake of not having to carry, string, maintain, and store two bows, when I'm already toting an axe and a knife. It would also be less fun to say I was an excellent marksman with two types of bow, used for different jobs with different training (hunting requires extreme accuracy, ranged combat does not). I spent my life hunting, so I would be used to that particular bow, and since we have never been in an actual war, my character would logically not have experience with a longbow, except that a longbow is far more useful in combat.

So i COULD write in that Cedric is just also really good with a longbow, or we could provide enough liberty to say that, in this roleplay, the longbow is also a practical hunting weapon. I mean, I'll leave it up to @Kassarock, but I somewhat doubt he wants me to either increase my skill (and inventory) or remove a pretty important element of my character (longbow skill or hunting skill).

Same for quivers. Rather that figure out where I'm going to stick the arrows in the ground, or limit myself to wedging them into my belt, it would be better to delegate arrows to a quiver. I don't know if I'll need to count my arrows or not. That's also the GM's call.

Haha, yes, of course - this isn't actually Europe in the 1400s. And getting boggled down by historical detail isn't at all fun, either. I just wanted to share some interesting facts about longbow usage around that time. What you do with your character is totally up to your own discretion, and so long as you have fun doing so, you're alright by me. :)

@LordofthePies She's 6'2"?! Wow, that's the largest spy I've ever not seen.

The BIG FEEDBACK POST is here:

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@Hero And last, but by no means least, we come to Sister Margaret - a character I am tempted to accept solely on the basis of what a breath of fresh air this has been after our assorted collection of grizzled mercs. This will vastly increase the variety of possible character interactions we can RP as a group. I really like that you've gone for something different on this, you get bonus points for doing so.

I have no real pointers for this character, although I wonder why they decided to join the Band of Fools specifically? Why choose a mercenary company as her vehicle to do the work of the Blessed One? The only other thing is that you mention having a Cross? The religious symbol of clerisy is something I haven't thought about yet, why not come to discord and brainstorm with me?

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I thought it'd be kind of fun to go in the completely opposite direction, glad to see it paid off a little lol. I also realize I completely forgot to mention the reason for her joining as I did have it written down and then somehow deleted that and another sentence that was supposed to be at the end (something about taking advantage of traveling to find the Chosen One? _{my memory is terrible I'm sorry}) along with another secretive reason that'll probably get revealed during the RP.

I did take a lot of liberty with the cross and the religion, and I'd love to talk with you to see if we can come up with something more cohesive or whatever, I'll make sure to hit you up on Discord.

Really tall dudes do happen. I know this is significantly above average especially for the relative time period. So, here's a little story. I train in Krav Maga, an Israeli Self Defense form that borrows techniques from more traditional martial arts forms like Muay Thai, BJJ and Taekwondo. When a black belt candidate is ready to undergo black belt testing, he/she must participate in a "Boot Camp" for 16 weeks which prepares you for the test itself. It is thorough review of everything you did for the past four years or so. My boot camp this past Winter/Spring consisted of 40 people; 20 Black belt candidates and 20 1st Degrees going for 2nd degree. We had six guys in the class who were 6'5" tall and another three guys who were between 6' and 6'5". I am 5'11" and it seemed like every frickin time I had to spar it was with one of these big guys. One night I sparred 15 different people in a two hour people. It was exhausting and more than half the people I sparred with were over 6'. Our Band of Fools being a bunch of giants is not unheard of.

@Gunther Well he is a she, so that's why it made me chuckle...Also a spy, a very tall spy.