I am the forever growing greed, unsatisfied by what I am having. I am the unchained desire, imbued with destruction but pure in nature. I am the restless soul, wander in places to search for meaning and well-being. I am the “bright future” that would never come, a lie in another sea of lies. I am cruelty. I am the World. I am the Tongue.
T I T L E S
First Demigod, Brother of Fools, Demon’s Tongue, The Shepherd
G E N D E R
Male
A L I G N M E N T
Lawful Evil
P O R T F O L I O
What is love’s capabilities? Can it moves mountains, drains seas, and endures the test of time like other things? Is it tangible and has definite value? Yet why do people flocked after it likes flies over an open honey jar? Couldn’t they realize the danger of drowning once they get too deep? Love is pure, they think. Love is good, they assume. To love is to have a cause to die for. To love is to be obsessed by the idea of sacrificing. And all Adam could ever do is giving these people a reason to die for. Gold, love, fame, and a plethora of other things are within his control. All you need to do is chase after it; grind yourself to the brink of destruction and deprivation, and give in to the “bright future“ that would come in some day.
A B I L I T I E S
Worshipped Inducement: A symbol. It has always been a symbol. It will always be a symbol. More than anything, the bright future is always the best symbols there are in existence. The desire of perfection, of knowledge, of fame, of power, of love, all resides in that “bright future.” As long as the people are still looking forward to the future, reaching for that forever growing image of tomorrow, then they are looking forward to him. They worshipped Adam, for he represented that bright future, the unending climb that would someday be fruitful. And the more they grind their gears for that climb, the more they believe in him.
But still, there is a limitation to this, mainly in obsession itself. Most fears for their lives and scurried away at the first hint of dangers. Only a few, a minority, one in a thousand would stay behind to witness the truth. And only a thousand of that thousandth would be obsessive enough to throw their lives for Adam. As such, Adam’s disciples are valuable things, sometimes even outweigh the artifacts that he had created for them.
Appearance
See me as if you see your god. Love me as you love your family. Obsess over me as you would over richness. And above all, be prideful for being a servant of mine.
P E R S O N A L I T Y
It is hard to define one being with one word, seeing how a being, even the simplest one, could possess a multitude of facets that a single word is not enough to describe. However when it came to Adam, the First Spawn of Anzillu, one could only feel a single thing when staring in his appearance. Pride. It would have dwarfed the sun in size and brightness if it were to materialize. However, he treated everyone equally, both gods and mortals. It is unknown if he degrades everything around to be a lesser of himself, but he certainly thinks himself to be the epitome on this plane of existence.
But pride alone does not provide the whole picture of Adam. If anything, it is just the backdrop for other characteristics of him to shine. Agony, confuse, anger, and joy he had tasted. Regret and self-doubt he had experienced. He worked with a calculated mind that is often obstructed by emotions and sway with feelings for others. Unlike his father, who appeared to be apathy toward all things, Adam is too empathetic toward those he counted as his people. He treated fairly to his demon kinds, those that are unable to feel and understand his caring. He treated fairly to the mortals, always giving them a chance between turning into his disciples or stand with pride as his enemies. Adam is benevolent, and he loves all, just as much as he loves himself.
Though there is one thing to take note of, maybe it was because of his physiology, flesh that came into existence by the urge to devour, Adam also has in him this hunger. However, unlike the Abhorrent, who is lustful for devour realities, Adam lusts to taste the souls. But not every soul would fit his bills. After all, he doesn't want to eat shit. Only the most virtuous and saintly are whom Adam goes after. In case there are none that would fit his bill, Adam wouldn't mind raising some for his own. What does other usually said about their own stock? It is always juicier than others.
M U S I C P I E C E
C H A N T
Oh heed our prayer the Lord up high, who throne above the star yet walk among the feebles, Son of Anzulli, the first being, the Shepherd, the Tongue, and eldest brother of many to come, . Heed our call as your humble servants ask for guidance.
Some balance notes about the Bazaar so far, since we now have a market for humans that probably pre-dates humans by a million years.
Let me know if it seems good, GM lads.
-Everything is upmarked so high you can scarcely believe it's Chthonic. The primary benefit of using the Bazaar is because you can find everything there, but price-wise it's often more efficient for a mortal to get things themselves.
-Items in the Grand Bazaar can only leave it if they're purchased. Stolen goods dissolve into the void from whence they came. First rule of alchemy.
-Invisible hands have no soul and are not sentient. They're just a physical manifestation of the abstract market forces to which Choppy is bound.
-No heavy industry. If it can't be made in a cottage with a few years of experience, it's probably not in there.
-Nothing particularly supernatural or alien beyond what can be found on Galbar, or Earth five hundred years ago. At least not if your name isn't Choppy.
-Plants and livestock are sold. However, plants that aren't garden-variety and animals that aren't pets are mostly absent.
-Additionally, the price of species that aren't yet present in Galbar, or have no equivalent, is thousands of times higher than what it would otherwise be. This is the Choppy Tariff, that keeps you from introducing new species to Galbar for free.
-The writing is mostly illegible. Information traded in the Bazaar is mostly a copy of what exists on Galbar, or could be discovered with little effort.
-Art in the Bazaar never innovates. The style, and often the work, is a direct imitation of whatever exists. I think.
-It does have a pre-mortal local style, though, mostly in the form of traditional Chinese landscape paintings of Galbar.
@Antarctic Termite As long as things which should cost Might still cost Might (including items of advanced technology, with advanced being a relative term), it should be fine.
First, the Portfolio. Although you don't state it explicitly (and I'd really like it if you did), it appears that the keyword is Love. Your description leans closer to Obsession, but unless someone else wants to go for a more wholesome incarnation of the Love portfolio then there is no need to change. As for your portfolio powers, they are concise and easy to interpret - he's a cult leader and that's what he's good at. This is fitting for a demigod.
As a tangential issue though, a couple of us have qualms about the use of Powerlisting Wiki in the abilities section (a habit which you appear to have picked up from other players, so we don't hold that against you). The ability's blurb should be a self-contained description of the power, whereas in this case the blurb alone fails to clearly state what the power does and its extent or limitations. While Worship Inducement is a fitting power for Adam, it could be improved by specifying how Adam can exercise this power and to what extent (bearing in mind that normal demigods can't even read minds, let alone dominate mortals to their will. While Adam's Portfolio makes him an exception, it can't be too extreme without costing Might).
I also have another power to recommend, and that is some ability which lets Adam identify a mortal's greatest desires. Of course, the list of Portfolio abilities does not have to be comprehensive, but it is something for you to consider.
The persona has merit. It gives Adam some elegantly simple motivations and puts him on the path to being active. Adam is quite insidious, what with the devouring the souls of the good and pure, but with potentially enough depth that he won't be exclusively an antagonist.
I personally have noted a contradiction in the persona, one which can be elaborated on to make Adam a richer character. You say that "Adam is benevolent, and he loves all", yet he is also Lawful Evil and wants to devour people's souls which is a very not-benevolent and unloving thing to do. Is Adam genuinely nice but he is driven by vile urges beyond his control? If so, how does he feel about those urges? Or is the benevolence only a facade for him to lure mortals in so he can eat them? If so, this should be elaborated.
Additionally, I am left confused as to how Adam would be like to talk to in person. Does he scorn everyone with his pride? Does he greet them with loving kindness? Some more detail on this would be nice.
We presume that you and Loki have talked about Adam's origins and already have plans for your origin story (if not, get planning). However, beyond that, we have no idea what you intend to do with Adam. We're concerned that you might disappear on us. As such, we'd like you to tell us a little bit about what you plan to do after Adam is born.
Also, the grammar is still rather shaky, with weird tense and plurals throughout. Would we be correct in guessing that English is not your first language? Despite this, your writing is typically readable, although it is possible that we (and the other players) might have to stop and clarify things with you if any parts of your posts are ambiguous. While we definitely don't have time to proofread everything for you, I can give you some specific feedback on your CS if you would like. And grammar aside, I can see that you have the ideas for writing elaborate prose.
Adam is a unique perspective on a Love God and the Portfolio fills an as-yet unoccupied niche, which are good things. However, I will withhold approval until you clarify the ability, elaborate on the persona and assure us that you have things to do after Adam's birth.
Damn you Adam! You are a desecration of love! If Seihdhara cannot be the goddess of love, then she'll be the goddess of intimacy and the good ol' rumpy pumpy!
Mel & Rhu-rhu: "Sithspit! What's that?" Asceal & Aelius: "That's the sun, guys. It's after dawn." Mel & Rhu-rhu: "Well, it offends us. Turn it off." Asceal & Aelius: "It's one-thirty, one-forty million klicks away from here." Mel & Rhu-rhu: "Go up in your X-wing and shoot it down." Asceal & Rhu-rhu: "Guys, stop acting like little kids. You're embarrassing us."
Damn you Adam! You are a desecration of love! If Seihdhara cannot be the goddess of love, then she'll be the goddess of intimacy and the good ol' rumpy pumpy!
Mel & Rhu-rhu: "Sithspit! What's that?" Asceal & Aelius: "That's the sun, guys. It's after dawn." Mel & Rhu-rhu: "Well, it offends us. Turn it off." Asceal & Aelius: "It's one-thirty, one-forty million klicks away from here." Mel & Rhu-rhu: "Go up in your X-wing and shoot it down." Asceal & Rhu-rhu: "Guys, stop acting like little kids. You're embarrassing us."
The desperate Celestial Media keeps spreading fake news. Urhu had a problem with two suns and no suns, she is fine with a sun.
DISCLAIMER: Seihdhara & Kho reject all affiliation, explicit or implicit, imputed or exputed, exhumed or imhumed, with the so-called 'Celestial Media' or other affiliated parties.
@BBeast Thank you for the review, here is the response.
As a tangential issue though, a couple of us have qualms about the use of Powerlisting Wiki in the abilities section (a habit which you appear to have picked up from other players, so we don't hold that against you). The ability's blurb should be a self-contained description of the power, whereas in this case, the blurb alone fails to clearly state what the power does and its extent or limitations. While Worship Inducement is a fitting power for Adam, it could be improved by specifying how Adam can exercise this power and to what extent (bearing in mind that normal demigods can't even read minds, let alone dominate mortals to their will. While Adam's Portfolio makes him an exception, it can't be too extreme without costing Might).
I also have another power to recommend, and that is some ability which lets Adam identify a mortal's greatest desires. Of course, the list of Portfolio abilities does not have to be comprehensive, but it is something for you to consider.
Yeah, I must have admitted. The ability is quite bad when I look back. Point taken. Thankfully, I am making another ability before the review was up and hopefully have the new ability in the next draft.
We presume that you and Loki have talked about Adam's origins and already have plans for your origin story (if not, get planning). However, beyond that, we have no idea what you intend to do with Adam. We're concerned that you might disappear on us. As such, we'd like you to tell us a little bit about what you plan to do after Adam is born.
Yeah, do you remember the Ainz's appendage that you send it to some remote islands/sandbars? Yeah, it is Adam.
And with how things turn out, here is my current plan:
Introduce love to all beings. This love, however, is not the sentient loves that we are used to. It is the drive or biological love, mating, survive, kind of that. The effect it has, hopefully, is some of the creation should not behave the way they are designed. Take an example of Phystene's plants. Her portfolio allows her to raise plants and let them die to her wills. Now, she could still do it, but some plants ( 1% of the crops) will refuse to die. And the more they grew and reproduced, the less control she has over those rebellious plants. But this doesn't apply to her only. Parvus' s insects are also the same. Basically, this introduces the chance of a being to withdrawn from the idea of dying for its creator.
After that, I create the drive for evolution. Basically, this means that the beings that got affected will desire to be better than staying the same. So, for the plants, it will kill each other on a larger scale for nutrients and sunlight. The bugs would be more prone to devour each other than act in unison. Same for bacteria.
After that, I create the first predator. If everyone is creating producers and no one is really planning to create the top of the food chain, I don't mind creating something that dominates the ecosystems.
Creating gold and ruby veins
Save up for whatever I have for the next turn, 2 turns for portfolio acquisition and a dozen fp more to make his Heaven on Earth-esque city. Maybe I would create sentient beings, maybe more of something to work forward "idolization" portfolio.
Also, the grammar is still rather shaky, with weird tense and plurals throughout. Would we be correct in guessing that English is not your first language? Despite this, your writing is typically readable, although it is possible that we (and the other players) might have to stop and clarify things with you if any parts of your posts are ambiguous. While we definitely don't have time to proofread everything for you, I can give you some specific feedback on your CS if you would like. And grammar aside, I can see that you have the ideas for writing elaborate prose.
By this point, sure. My eyes can't catch any problems but I guess that is because of my background. So sure.
Yeah, I must have admitted. The ability is quite bad when I look back. Point taken. Thankfully, I am making another ability before the review was up and hopefully have the new ability in the next draft.
To be clear, the broad idea was good. It makes sense for the Love god to make mortals swoon over him. In fact, I expect the Love god to make mortals swoon over him. We just need to make sure that the ability is of a power level appropriate to a demigod with the Love portfolio.
Bear in mind that if you want a more powerful version of the ability (beyond what the Portfolio can grant for free), you can always spend MP on it later. In fact, if you want to go for Idolization as your second Portfolio, it might make sense to purchase the ability which makes mortals literally worship you as part of your investment towards that Portfolio.
Yeah, do you remember the Ainz's appendage that you send it to some remote islands/sandbars? Yeah, it is Adam.
I do wonder how the Architect would respond to a demigod growing in his palace-lake after he thought all the gods were gone (as this limb isn't on Galbar. It's up by the Barrier). This isn't an issue. It's just a comment.
Introduce love to all beings. This love, however, is not the sentient loves that we are used to. It is the drive or biological love, mating, survive, kind of that. The effect it has, hopefully, is some of the creation should not behave the way they are designed. Take an example of Phystene's plants. Her portfolio allows her to raise plants and let them die to her wills. Now, she could still do it, but some plants ( 1% of the crops) will refuse to die. And the more they grew and reproduced, the less control she has over those rebellious plants. But this doesn't apply to her only. Parvus' s insects are also the same. Basically, this introduces the chance of a being to withdrawn from the idea of dying for its creator.
I'm not sure how rebellion ties in with Love. Are you withdrawing love of their creators from nature? Additionally, revoking Portfolio powers is not something that can be easily done. If Phystene tells a plant to die, unless someone has dumped significantly more MP into that particular plant than Phystene is willing to spend, then that plant will die. Portfolios grant total superiority in everything under them and no demigod's meddling can prevent that.
That said, if we stop short of blocking Portfolios, making creations more rebellious seems like a neat idea. Note, however, that a demigod does not have the power to introduce a thing to all beings without going around spending Might on each group of beings individually. Grand overarching changes to reality require a Sphere.
After that, I create the drive for evolution. Basically, this means that the beings that got affected will desire to be better than staying the same. So, for the plants, it will kill each other on a larger scale for nutrients and sunlight. The bugs would be more prone to devour each other than act in unison. Same for bacteria.
After that, I create the first predator. If everyone is creating producers and no one is really planning to create the top of the food chain, I don't mind creating something that dominates the ecosystems.
This overlaps significantly with Kalmar's plans. You might be able to create evolution, although Kalmar is definitely making predators. Talk to [@NotFishing]. This doesn't stop you from making some predators, but Kalmar will almost certainly out-compete you there. Additionally, gods have already created ecosystems which implies the existence of predators, so even if you were to make a predator right now it would not be the first.
Creating evolution in all things without a Sphere sounds like an incredibly difficult task. You might need to collaborate with other gods (probably Kalmar) to help you in that task.
Creating gold and ruby veins
This sounds fine, although talk to @Commodore because Ohannakeloi also looks interested in that sort of stuff.
Save up for whatever I have for the next turn, 2 turns for portfolio acquisition and a dozen fp more to make his Heaven on Earth-esque city. Maybe I would create sentient beings, maybe more of something to work forward "idolization" portfolio.
This. This is the kind of plan I want to hear about. The rest sound mostly like set-up and things to bide your time until you're able to make mortals, as Adam will truly shine once he has mortals to put under his sway. It is unclear when FP will be able to be used for creating a city (definitely not the Age of Creation or the Age of Monsters), so you may either be saving, waiting or creating it in increments. You will likely want to enlist the help of some other gods to make your city better than what Adam can build by his own power.
This plan is currently too far in the future for anyone to be able to predict the specifics of how it will be enacted. We don't even know all the sentient beings being made or all the continents being raised. However, can you elaborate a little bit on your current vision for your city and cult? (Although you don't need to divulge everything. Save some for the IC. I only ask for enough to spark my interest.)
By this point, sure. My eyes can't catch any problems but I guess that is because of my background. So sure.
I proofread your Portfolio. Your portfolio contained the highest density of such mistakes, with the rest of the CS being less bad. Most of the corrections are sufficiently nuanced that I've noticed that grammar-checking software misses them.
What is love’s capabilities? Can it moves mountains, drains seas, and endures the test of time like other things? Is it tangible and has definite value? Yet why do people flocked after it likes flies over an open honey jar? Couldn’t they realize the danger of drowning once they get too deep? Love is pure, they think. Love is good, they assume. To love is to have a cause to die for. To love is to be obsessed by the idea of sacrificing. As such, Adam, the owner of obsession, is capable of turning any men and women into his disciple by making him their gods. Peoples are puppets in his disposal. Blood flows and chants shook the night skies where he decided to pay a visit. For as long as there are still beings that desire, whether it is physical or mental, Adam’s influence knows no bound.
What is love’s capabilities? Can it move mountains, drain seas, or endure the test of time like other things? Is it tangible or does it have definite value? Yet why do people flock after it like flies over an open honey jar? Couldn’t they realize the danger of drowning once they get too deep? Love is pure, they think. Love is good, they assume. To love is to have a cause to die for. To love is to be obsessed by the idea of sacrificing. As such, Adam, the owner of obsession, is capable of turning any man or woman into his disciple by making him their god. People are puppets at his disposal. Blood flows and chants shake the night skies where he decides to pay a visit. For as long as there are still beings that desire, whether it is physical or mental, Adam’s influence knows no bound.
@Muttonhawk Ah, I see. Is it possible for it to be posted here or on the Wiki?
Possibly in the future, yes, but it's changing very frequently in this age (as you might imagine). Maybe a little further down the line the world map will be on the Galbar page of the wiki.
