2 Guests viewing this page
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Nate1008
Raw
Avatar of Nate1008

Nate1008

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Ok. Thanks for the response! I will edit the current character post.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Nate1008
Raw
Avatar of Nate1008

Nate1008

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Done!
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by LuckyBlackCat
Raw
coGM
Avatar of LuckyBlackCat

LuckyBlackCat Cats Will Rule The World

Member Seen 9 mos ago

@Nate1008 Hmm... While that does give us a small amount of insight into the character, I'm afraid you'd need to build on that post a lot more. It still looks rather summarised, and not all that readable for lack of paragraphs.

Also, while a monstrous/animalistic villain would be fun if written with enough care and effort, the more I think about it, the less likely it seems that everyone he met would reject him in a world where mutations are common. Yes he may have a freakish appearance, but this is the same world where a guy with six arms is considered normal. It'd be more believable if some people, including his parents, rejected him because he's just that ugly, and because of this, he fears people in general as he assumes they're going to do the same. That kind of wariness would fit the way he acts like a wild animal.

All in all, though, I won't lie, I'll admit the sample post makes us reluctant to accept this CS. If you can give it a major rework, then show us by all means, but as it is, I'm afraid this just isn't the level we're looking for.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Nate1008
Raw
Avatar of Nate1008

Nate1008

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Ok. I will get on it tomorrow.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Genon
Raw
Avatar of Genon

Genon

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

WIP sheet up. I've got Dungeons and Dragons in 15 minutes so I can't write the sample post, and I have to think more about it anyway, but everything else is done.

Albert Engelhardt, aka "Phantom Cat"


Appearance: Albert is a tall student, about 6'2". The eye is, of course, immediately drawn to the fact that he has the head of a tabby cat. This is a side-effect of his Quirk, appropriately named "Cat." His body resembles a human's, but his whole body is covered in fur and he has retractable claws between his fingers and toes, much like how an actual cat has retractable claws between each paw. He tends to wear fairly casual clothing when not costumed, which is appropriate given that his costume is basically a suit and tie.



Name: Albert Engelhardt
Age: 14
Gender: Male

Hero/Villain Name: Phantom Cat
Quirk Name: Cat
Quirk Type: Mutant
Quirk Description: This Quirk grants the user all the abilities of a cat, scaled up to a human, with appropriate weaknesses. The user can see perfectly in low-light conditions and even in the dark, owing to the reflective material in their eyeballs. They have incredible reaction time and reflexes, as well as the acrobatics, jumping ability, climbing ability, and silent tread of a cat (though shoes counteract a silent tread, so Albert must wear special shoes that allow this ability to shine). And much like a cat, they can survive a fall from multiple stories without significant injury.

They have superhuman hearing, which can be turned against them, as they are especially vulnerable to loud sounds and sonic weapons. It is even possible to target them specifically with such an attack, as they can hear frequencies outside of a human's hearing range. They are also especially sensitive to bright lights, and have a tendency to be nocturnal, which can screw with their ability to fit into normal human society. Thankfully, this Quirk does keep the user omnivorous owing to the presence of human DNA, which is especially important as real cats normally can't taste sugar and can only tolerate at most a 15% carb diet. He's also, most infuriatingly, vulnerable both to cat and human diseases, meaning that he has to look after his health especially strongly.

As for its combat capabilities, users of the Cat Quirk have speed comparable to a cheetah and strength and bite force roughly on par with a jaguar. Their bites, amplified by the vicious pair of fangs in their mouths, can easily pierce flesh, and should Albert decide to, he could probably utterly maul a target. However, he's both a) not a cannibalistic monster, and b) still trying to be a hero, and such would prefer other methods of subduing a villain.

Inventory & Possessions:
Albert's suit-like costume actually has many, many pockets and contains an array of Support items to assist him in his job as a stealthy hero, including smoke bombs, a dart launcher armed with tranquilizer bolts, sleeping gas grenades, and old-fashioned tear gas. He also carries a "grapple gun" to assist him in moving and climbing even quicker than he normally can. His cane is one of his most important support items: It's actually a swordstick with the ability to electrify the tungsten-alloy blade's edge with the press of a button on the hilt, causing a taser-like effect. He is trained in its use, and greatly prefers it to his claws or fangs, only choosing to use his natural weapons when absolutely necessary, both because of the savagery of such a thing and because of how much damage they can cause. His top hat is also a weapon, capable of flying after an opponent, striking them with the blade in the brim, and returning to him, much like Oddjob or Kung Lao. The tie, however, is a clip-on. He'd rather not be strangled.

Sample Post:




"DAMMIT, KID! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND WE'LL LET YOU OFF WITH A BROKEN LEG!"

Albert cracked a shit-eating grin as he ran down the street, effortlessly evading his loudmouthed pursuers. Ducking into an alleyway, he grabbed onto a pipe, climbing up it easily as he made it to the roof.

From here, he could see his enemies trying to (and failing) to follow him. They had only just now made it a few feet from the alley. One of them, a burly thug with a stretching Quirk, snaked his arm up the wall and tried to snatch the cat-headed teenager.

"Not going to work!" Albert said, taking off at a full sprint across the roof, jumping to another roof even as the hand kept chasing him.

He noticed that the hand's angle changed as he ran. Apparently the thugs had started running after him down the sidewalk.

He kept running though, jumping across the rooftops with his usual grace. The hand kept after him, coming perilously close to his ankle.

Adding to the danger, he heard the thugs yelling, and then a loud bang. It was loud to most. Deafening to him. He yelped in pain, and had to actually put his hands on his ears after a noise like that, and the disorientation causing him to fumble his next jump as he banged his ankle on the edge of the next rooftop, tumbling to the hard concrete floor and getting a few scrapes. He pushed himself to his feet with a pained grunt and kept running.

He was only a few blocks from the police station now. He checked the pocket of his cargo shorts, making sure he still had it. The USB drive. It was still there, thank God.

The gunshot rang out again, this time grazing the fur on Albert's tail, making him stumble in pain and preventing him from covering his ears. The effect was immediate. He actually had to drop to the ground, such was the pain, and immediately clutched his ears.

The hand got around his ankle, and started dragging him to the edge of the rooftop.

"NO! FUCK!"

On instinct, he clawed at it. His claws met flesh and ripped through, scraping off layers of skin and leaving bloody trails. The hand writhed as the thug below screamed in agony, but he still sent another one after him, armed with a knife. This one, Albert bit.

Hundreds of PSI of bite force met bare human wrist, ripping meat from the bone and causing a spurt of blood to get in Albert's face from the pierced artery.

He spat it out immediately, coughing and sputtering has he rubbed the blood out of his eyes and tried to wipe his face with his shirt.

That finally got the thug to retract both his arms, causing them to simply resort to gunshots. Lots of gunshots.

Albert resorted to running on all fours like an animal. He was much faster this way and had a lower profile, and they were close enough to the police station that even the thugs had realized where he was going. They simply turned tail and ran as police sirens wailed.

Finally seeing fit to stop running, the exhausted, bloodied-up boy dropped down from the rooftop and onto his feet, handling the fall easily, and half-walked, half-staggered to the police station before collapsing onto the floor from his ordeal.

---

"We've identified what was on the USB drive in the kid's pocket."

"What?" the Police Chief said, looking up from his newspaper.

"Recordings. Audio and video. He'd apparently set up hidden cameras around his house. They got footage of the thugs extorting his family. Saying if they didn't pay them protection there'd be trouble. When they found the cameras, they tried to break in. That's why he ran. He managed to get a USB drive out of his house and ran for the police station. He panicked and didn't grab his phone, which is why he didn't just call 911. And..."

"And?"

"The thugs have ties to the DeFalco crime family. This kid might've given us a breakthrough and not even realized it."

The Chief smiled. "Sounds like he'd make a good hero in a few years. Did you get his name?"

"Yeah. Albert Engelhardt."
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Genon
Raw
Avatar of Genon

Genon

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Derp. While attempting to make my character have a blade capable of withstanding heating up like it does, I accidentally posted the sheet twice. Ignore this post.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Genon
Raw
Avatar of Genon

Genon

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@LuckyBlackCat @SimpleWriter

Replacement character finished. Take a look when you have time.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by LuckyBlackCat
Raw
coGM
Avatar of LuckyBlackCat

LuckyBlackCat Cats Will Rule The World

Member Seen 9 mos ago

@Genon Hey, sorry I took a while, been busy. Anyway, just looked over the CS.

Hehe, another cat! That's gonna be interesting considering my character Freya, who also has cat traits, although hers are less pronounced. I can picture them having this rivalry going on because of their similar Quirks, like Kirishima and Tetsutetsu, so that could be fun.

Just a few things, though. You mentioned Albert having the speed of a cheetah and the strength of a jaguar, even though he's based on a housecat. Yes he would be faster than a regular human, and stronger in some ways, but not to that level. To be honest, characters don't need super speed and strength to be good fighters. I'd suggest either sticking with the tabby cat Quirk and giving him advanced agility and reflexes (which would work well for a stealthy character), or basing him on a big cat, like an actual cheetah or jaguar.

Also, that's rather a lot of hero gear, especially for someone who's just starting out as a student. It might be best to reduce it to just one or two items, like the cane and the grapple gun.

Lastly I recommend making him at least 15, since that's the minimum starting age in the anime.

Let us know what you decide, and @Heartfillia will give feedback too, since she recently became a co-GM.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Genon
Raw
Avatar of Genon

Genon

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@LuckyBlackCat

Well, the idea was that he's got a tabby cat-like body scaled up to a human's size, granting him greater bite force, strength, and running speed than a housecat due to his longer legs and larger musculature. In other words, a literal "big cat."

And so my mind jumped to a jaguar, which has less total bite force in Newtons than a lion or tiger due to being smaller than both species but packs a stronger bite relative to its size.

That said, the cheetah bit makes no sense either way, as cheetahs are basically completely specialized for their high running speed so he'd have to be based on one directly to run that fast. So I'd be willing to similarly put his sprinting speed down to a jaguar, or possibly a panther, due to panthers being of a similar size I believe.

However, I'd be willing to go with the "buffed housecat" idea if that's what would be necessary to balance him with everyone else. Anyway, I'll edit my post.

That said, would it be okay if I joined the Discord? It would really help at hammering out the finer details of this considering how slow forum communication is.
Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Heartfillia
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Heartfillia

Heartfillia

Member Seen 1 yr ago

@GenonDiscord is only allowed for accepted characters, even though I agree it does help with how quickly it helps figuring out details.

I agree with @LuckyBlackCat, if he's based off a housecat, he should only have slightly hightened speed. if you read cat's character, you have seen she already has a cat quirk, and a lioness quirk within her characters family. if you wanted to do a larger cat for strength that might be acceptable or cheeta for a more speed based quirk. I highly recommend not being a house cat. Just because we already have one essentially. It would only create more of a difference between the similar quirks.

you have to remember as well that he's a student. Not a hero. So he needs room to grow and learn how to strengthen his abilities / build up his gear. I think a simple cane sword COULD suffice But the fact it can be just as dangerous as claws in my opinion so having it is kinda redundant. it is the same with the grappling hook, he would already be a great climber, why would he even need it? I also didn't get the feeling his family was too wealthy, another reason he shouldn't even have the ridiculous amount of gear.

also side note, i think cats claws come out from their toes/ *Fingers in your case*...not between them or paws XP
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by SimpleWriter
Raw
GM
Avatar of SimpleWriter

SimpleWriter also FroggerFlower

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@Genon

Hey. I'll keep it short and sweet (I am a blunt person, no harm intended);

Negative Point - Too young, but that's an easy fix.

Negative Point - Forgive me for this but I absolutely have to ask this one Question; Have you read the other characters before presenting you idea. I ask this because, as you know now, Freya is Cat's character which already have a Quirk called Feline about basically being a Cat, without the physical features.

Negative Point - Now I got two big issues with your idea in general. First of all, you basically have the same Quirk as Freya, which might be Okay in it of itself, but boosted up to eleven. On top of that, you wrote that you have all those gadgets that furthermore boost your character. Back to my first question; if you had read the other sheets, you'd notice that no one have Hero gear or very, very few. Except for villains. If you HAVE read them and still wrote your character with a number of gadgets on par with Batman, then it's almost insulting.

Suggestion - I feel like you couldn't decide between two different ideas; Cat Quirk and Gadgets intensive character. Those two things feel different, and it's just weird that you'd give both to one character. The Gadgets alone could be the sole idea to build one character around, making your Cat Quirk just an added bonus. Or vice Versa. Like many persons we refused, you tried to make him too versatile, being able to do too many things, instead of having one idea and building solely around it. This is what I feel.

I suggest you go back to the drawing board and find one idea to stick too. Hero Gear is fine, to a certain degree, but don't forget that apprentice heroes aren't supposed to even have the right to have it until they have a permit, so this is completely out of MHA's lore, too. I might allow you to keep one gadget, such as the Cane, if it's inherently part of your character's persona. Say, your character has Cat features and you want them to look like an English Gentleman. The rest of those gears are too much. The only hero that has gear that I can think of is Yuga Aoyama, and it's only one simple thing that pairs with his Quirk, and not an added power in it of itself.

Does this make sense?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Genon
Raw
Avatar of Genon

Genon

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

@SimpleWriter

I see. I'll admit I didn't read the other sheets, so I didn't quite know about Freya before writing it. I'll admit also that I wasn't aware of the limit on Support Items before I wrote it up either.

I guess I'll go back to the drawing board. Again.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by GoreLore
Raw
Avatar of GoreLore

GoreLore A melodramatic fool

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

Hey everyone just a quick introduction: I used to Rp here years ago and just got back into it so please cut me some slack if I don't seem to be following Roleplayerguild etiquette. Also I would Love to join in this Rp, I have great ideas for both a hero and a Villain so if anyone could tell me which one is needed more than the other that would be much appreciated. I can then begin to craft a character sheet to essentially audition with;I have read the context and rules as well.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by LuckyBlackCat
Raw
coGM
Avatar of LuckyBlackCat

LuckyBlackCat Cats Will Rule The World

Member Seen 9 mos ago

Hi @GoreLore, it's ok, as long as you read rules and are respectful to people OOC you should be fine. That's the most important thing.

As for characters, heroes are probably needed most, as we may have had some dropouts. More male characters, as well as students with Quirks other than Emitter types, would definitely be welcome!
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Tenma Tendo
Raw
Avatar of Tenma Tendo

Tenma Tendo Thunder Pillar in Training

Member Seen 1 yr ago

I was actually thinking of making a second hero character if that was okay? ^^

@LuckyBlackCat
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by GoreLore
Raw
Avatar of GoreLore

GoreLore A melodramatic fool

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@LuckyBlackCat Wonderful Ill create a male character with a non-emitting power hahah I should be done in like phew hopefully 2 hours
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by GoreLore
Raw
Avatar of GoreLore

GoreLore A melodramatic fool

Member Seen 5 yrs ago

@LuckyBlackCat Wonderful Ill create a male character with a non-emitting power hahah I should be done in like phew hopefully 2 hours


Shoot actually i just realized i cant join in, a character in another forum was just approved and i shouldnt join in too many time consuming Role Plays. so sorry Hope you guys have a good time
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Heartfillia
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Heartfillia

Heartfillia

Member Seen 1 yr ago

@Tenma TendoIm sure it's fine :3
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Tenma Tendo
Raw
Avatar of Tenma Tendo

Tenma Tendo Thunder Pillar in Training

Member Seen 1 yr ago

Okay, here he is, lmk if I should change anything or if there are any problems!

Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Heartfillia
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Heartfillia

Heartfillia

Member Seen 1 yr ago

@Tenma Tendoi like him! We’re just discussing between each other right now (been pretty busy)

I got a question, does he have any combat experience? Or is he just completely supportive?
↑ Top
2 Guests viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet