0th post feature is amazing.

Trololololololololololo

Trololololololololololo

*angry duck appears

QUAAAAACCKKKK

LOOOOL HOLY SHIT

???

Bruce felt his airway tighten under Ross' grip. He coughed once, loud and hard, once Ross dropped him back to the ground. He sucked in a gulp of air and briefly assessed Ross' state. A second was at least longer than it had taken for his own sword to recover from a hit from Bruce's blade. Not by long, though.
Still, the fact that Ross had requested any length of time as a time out in the middle of a test meant he'd achieved something. He opened his mouth to apologize for the wound, but thought better of it- he had a feeling it might offend Ross somehow.
Though he tried not to, he couldn't help imagining Ross' response.
"What the hell does that mean? You think that puny little box cutter you call a sword could hurt me?!" Imaginary Ross then flexed needlessly.
Bruce puckered his lips, trying to repress laughter.
"Snort!" Yet a snicker still escaped. Bruce's cheeks puffed up as Ross turned a perturbed glare on him.
"What's so damn funny?"

Bruce let Sakki out a bit more- he'd decided long before the outset of this battle that he wouldn't be front and center, and that of all of them, Alvios had the best claim to take Ada out. The purely malicious side of him felt a tad disappointed that he couldn't just let the witch into his mind without risking the lives of his friends.

Despite the gravity of the fight and all that was raging around him, he couldn't resist pondering how such a meeting of minds would take place.
Ada giggled once she had managed to snag Bruce with her magic- given the significant sinister side to his personality, it hadn't taken long after establishing contact. Curious, she placed her fingers against the vegetative swordsman's forehead, reaching into the depths of his mind. She found the majority of it well balanced, measured in its thoughts and feelings, and boring. Reaching further, she stumbled upon Sakki's domain.

The bloodlust radiating and being so casually thrown about couldn't be described as feral or alien- it was purely human, and that was what made her freeze in terror. None of the malicious desires or disturbingly imaginative acts of retribution were even fucking coherent.

Bruce blinked, finding himself being tossed out of Ada's room with the door slamming shut behind her so hard the walls of the tower shook and the metal rang in his ears.

"KEEP HIM THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" she shrieked from the other side. Ada shuddered, realizing belatedly that she needed a fresh pair of... everything.

Back in the real world, even as another three fake Zelriane's leapt up to try swatting him down, Bruce's cheeks puffed and spit flew from his mouth as he desperately attempted to restrain hysteric laughter.

"The voice of God has ordered that we tone down our powers while we are in the tower." Bruce said aloud, uncertain whether or not the others were listening to him. He turned to see Yzeira lounging apathetically amidst a pile of ancient-looking tomes, many of them expanding as new text was added through his own psychic power.

"So, how should we-" Bruce began, before a single grenade went sailing past him. It exploded a bit early, and managed only to ruffle Yzeira's coat. He glanced back a Jeff, who blinked. Following suit, Bruce hurled his sheath, and Oz his hammer, both beaning Yzeira in the head. The first got him to work out a kink in his neck, while the hammer snapped his head backward before he brought it back to continue reading.

Alvios held his sword like a javelin shot it at Yzeira as Jenso looked from one to the other of his hands. Alvios' blade pierced Yzeira's jugular, and Jenso pointed at the bag he'd given Bruce.

"I've got nothing to throw."

The other four turned to stare at him simultaneously, just as the leader of the Order finally looked up. Jenso came rocketing toward him, his whole being on fire from the sheer friction of traveling through the air. With a massive explosion, the whole chamber was obliterated.

"I think that's how it works."

"Okay, hear me out," Bruce said, addressing Zelriane and Shaidra directly. "You're both ascended beings. You're immortal and you routinely cross the borders of dimensions and realities. That means that you'll eventually do everything, which includes," Bruce swirled his finger in a circle. "Turning your backs and letting Jenso up those stairs."

Shaidra blinked many times, the gears in her head almost visibly straining to process what Bruce said. Zelriane looked mildly irritated, but crossed his arms and nudged the black dimension hopper.

"I cannot argue with that."

Zelriane and Shaidra both turned around and Jenso went careening up the stairs to the next level.

Alvios's eyes were wide and he barely kept his jaw from hanging slack.

"I can't believe that fucking worked."

One day this will have an epilogue.

Aye