Bondi-Pink:
The problem is that Bondi is a great performer but a bad magician.
Her patter, her crowd work, her persona? Incredible. Absolutely vibrant. She sleeps in that costume, goes grocery shopping in it - imagining her wearing a hoodie and jeans is like seeing photos of Abraham Lincoln without the beard. That authenticity bleeds from her.
It’s just, Bondi’s sleight of hand is sloppy. She lacks the concentration span for the long hours of rote practice needed to master other tricks. She avoids buying setpiece prompts from magic retailers, because she’s terrified of thinking she just trust-funded this, too. Except she’s not very good at making her own.
There’s a reason she gravitates towards escape acts, which is that it’s a lot easier to practice and doesn’t take a lot of creativity to be impressive. The real risk involved carries, and she can sell that, make it believable. And she can get real props, not just the magic store ones!
“The proooblem is we can’t do the ones with real danger in them. Even if it’s only a teensy bit. You can’t do that in front of kids.” Bondi tells Pink as she fills the tuxedo pockets with coins, a deck of cards, some candy. Then she holds up the soft rope. “There’s this thing called ‘shibari’ though, the Japanese police used to do it because they didn’t have enough metal for handcuffs. I think it looks super pretty, and I can talk about the history while you tie me up, and people always like that. Do you think you could learn some knots?”
This is not innuendo. She is that cinnamon roll.
…
You uh, suggesting a magic trick for the act here would probably be a good way to smuggle in something that would help with your investigation too, I guess.
Red:
“Holy shit what the fuck.” Sophie rips the rough mesh from her hands, leaving her patient mid-surgery to run up to Red, bounce on her feet, stop, put two pairs of surgical gloves over her hands just to grab your hands and jump and down while holding them, screaming. Screaming! Jumping! Holding your hands! “Look at you! Look at you!”
Hard to tell, but you think she likes your new look.
She rips off her extra gloves and sighs, dragging her feet back to the patient. “Sorry, sweetums, I do got to get back to this guy, though. Shouldn’t take too long, I was about to cut my losses anwyay. I’m good but I’m not magic.” She rolls her eyes. “Numbnuts here took a monofilament sword to the head and they’re like, ‘the cut’s so thin you can just stitch it up, right’ and it’s like, not when the fucking medula oblangata got bisected. Just don’t tell a Tentojinoken loan shark his mother’s a whore, it’s that easy. Even someone with-” and this she shouts into the patient’s ear, “HALF A FUCKING BRAIN should get that one right. Anyway, mind checking the cryofluid intravenous for me? I’ll just give up and start gluing the cavities, I just need him still long enough for it to set.”
Did she even pause to breathe in that entire train of thought?
“After that, I got a binder over there with people waiting for appointments, I usually just do them whenever if they’re not urgent. Or I got two urgent ones in the freezer if you want to hardmode this, their case files are taped to the morgue drawers. Pick anything you’d like.”
Her case notes are written in the neat, looping handwriting of a primary school girl writing in her diary, and she dots all her i’s with skulls.
The problem is that Bondi is a great performer but a bad magician.
Her patter, her crowd work, her persona? Incredible. Absolutely vibrant. She sleeps in that costume, goes grocery shopping in it - imagining her wearing a hoodie and jeans is like seeing photos of Abraham Lincoln without the beard. That authenticity bleeds from her.
It’s just, Bondi’s sleight of hand is sloppy. She lacks the concentration span for the long hours of rote practice needed to master other tricks. She avoids buying setpiece prompts from magic retailers, because she’s terrified of thinking she just trust-funded this, too. Except she’s not very good at making her own.
There’s a reason she gravitates towards escape acts, which is that it’s a lot easier to practice and doesn’t take a lot of creativity to be impressive. The real risk involved carries, and she can sell that, make it believable. And she can get real props, not just the magic store ones!
“The proooblem is we can’t do the ones with real danger in them. Even if it’s only a teensy bit. You can’t do that in front of kids.” Bondi tells Pink as she fills the tuxedo pockets with coins, a deck of cards, some candy. Then she holds up the soft rope. “There’s this thing called ‘shibari’ though, the Japanese police used to do it because they didn’t have enough metal for handcuffs. I think it looks super pretty, and I can talk about the history while you tie me up, and people always like that. Do you think you could learn some knots?”
This is not innuendo. She is that cinnamon roll.
…
You uh, suggesting a magic trick for the act here would probably be a good way to smuggle in something that would help with your investigation too, I guess.
Red:
“Holy shit what the fuck.” Sophie rips the rough mesh from her hands, leaving her patient mid-surgery to run up to Red, bounce on her feet, stop, put two pairs of surgical gloves over her hands just to grab your hands and jump and down while holding them, screaming. Screaming! Jumping! Holding your hands! “Look at you! Look at you!”
Hard to tell, but you think she likes your new look.
She rips off her extra gloves and sighs, dragging her feet back to the patient. “Sorry, sweetums, I do got to get back to this guy, though. Shouldn’t take too long, I was about to cut my losses anwyay. I’m good but I’m not magic.” She rolls her eyes. “Numbnuts here took a monofilament sword to the head and they’re like, ‘the cut’s so thin you can just stitch it up, right’ and it’s like, not when the fucking medula oblangata got bisected. Just don’t tell a Tentojinoken loan shark his mother’s a whore, it’s that easy. Even someone with-” and this she shouts into the patient’s ear, “HALF A FUCKING BRAIN should get that one right. Anyway, mind checking the cryofluid intravenous for me? I’ll just give up and start gluing the cavities, I just need him still long enough for it to set.”
Did she even pause to breathe in that entire train of thought?
“After that, I got a binder over there with people waiting for appointments, I usually just do them whenever if they’re not urgent. Or I got two urgent ones in the freezer if you want to hardmode this, their case files are taped to the morgue drawers. Pick anything you’d like.”
Her case notes are written in the neat, looping handwriting of a primary school girl writing in her diary, and she dots all her i’s with skulls.