Time? 11:49 PM
I ask myself why I'm not asleep. I rationalize why I should sleep. Such as work. Or obligations. The need to get up early actually -do things-. I tell myself I'm tired. I get ready to close everything and lay down... Then... Then I do it. I click another button. I'm stuck on my computer. Or phone. Or something. And there I am. Thinking, in an endless cycle of I should because-- but then something else grabs my attention. RPs. Comics. Silly images. A chat window. Thinking about playing a game. Remembering something spontaneously that I wanted to look into. I'm doing everything but sleeping... and then realizing with dread as I count down the time. I have 6 hours to sleep... 5.... 4... Oh god, only 3 now. I really need to stop and get off. Ah, hell. Only 2.5 now?! Fine, I'll tough it out. Things begin to slow down. I grow bored. My mind starts to wander... And when I check the clock, I realize it has only been a few minutes. I struggle in vain to stay awake. Sometimes I succeed. And then I'm so exhausted and bored I can hardly will myself to get ready and going... Other times, though... I watch that clock... and I count down... and I see I only have an hour left... And I fall asleep without setting my alarm.
