[OOC] Kill the Heroes! (Sorry, we're full for now)

[KRIEEEG]

I'm not even mad about losing the post. I'm just mad I can't remember how I worded a joke about sharpening a sword at the blacksmith or sheating your sword at the brothel. Well, I'm gonna get back to it today. No lewd jokes, apparently :/

[6slyboy6]

@KRIEEEG
nonono NO, thats not how it works! As a GM you must adhere to RPG's rules and make shitty lewd jokes. YOU MUST!

Also, I think I'll wait a bit till posting with Grox and Woggha. not much to say yet anyways.

[Gardevoiran]

@KRIEEEG
no balls won't make shitty lewd jokes

[6slyboy6]

@Banana
Aw

[Turbowraith]

My heart aches by the lack of lewd jokes. Aches I tell you.

Also pardon me if my post's tiny as fuck.

[KRIEEEG]

By unanimous decision lewd jokes won!

[Oraculum]

And here I am (again)! Suppose I am still in time to join before the rodomontade begins?

[KRIEEEG]

@Oraculum Make a CS man. Some people failed to show up, so there's room!

[Oraculum]

Here it goes, then.

Character Sheet

Name: Khri'zhatt

Race: Neogi

Appearance:

Image

Class: "Slaver with a few magic tricks" is the closest he comes to one.

Personality: Ruthless, rapacious and generally unpleasant, Khri'zatt is in all and for all the typical Neogi. The only pursuit he recognises as worthwhile is increasing his own wealth, and the fact that this inevitably involves subjugating other creatures - which often are the wealth in question, as slaves are the only commodities a Neogi needs and desires - only seems to add to his enjoyment. For all this, though, there astonishingly seem to be some positive qualities, however minute, to him. He is genuinely attached (for a given definition of "attached") to Thrik, his umber hulk servant and the only being he trusts in the least measure (chiefly owing to it being deprived of free will), and has been known to treat monstrous slaves whom he deems satisfactory more indulgently (a relative term, to be sure) than his kin. One should know better than be fooled by this encomium, though - true to form, his standard approaches to interaction remain "enslave it, eat it, and, if neither works, smash it".

Background: Despite their marauding habits, Neogi lead, all things considered, fairly monotonous lives. All is an endless cycle of raiding, plundering and bartering, which, though amusing at first, can at length grow quite dull. On top of all, one cannot even enjoy what one has earned properly, since as soon as one has hoarded (nearly!) enough wealth they are promptly converted into breeding vats by their eager brethren. Khri'zhatt, gifted with a clarity of vision (or what he assumes to be such) uncommon for his kind (again, his own assumption), saw distinctly, since the day of his hatching, these grim perspectives for what they were, and decided he could do better than this. He soon conceived a grand vision for his own future - he would build a dungeon infested with the most fearsome of monsters, in themselves sufficient to arouse the envy of any other Neogi. But this was not all: dungeons inevitably attract miscellaneous heroes, many of whom carry valuable belongings. These he would loot, and use them to buy even more monsters, and so forth indefinitely.

Since Neogi collectives do not take kindly to being deserted by their members, Khri'zhatt carefully planned his secession - carefully enough to escape with all his limbs and his umber hulk, to say nothing of his modest hoard. Now he roams the lands far and wide, seeking the most horrible creatures of all to accomplish his lofty goal.

Motivation: Khri'zhatt is driven entirely by greed - which, in his case, manifests as searching for the most horrid creatures he can to make into his servants. And the occasional snack.

Equipment:
- His life's worth of savings in precious gems.
- His all-purpose servitor, Thrik.

Thrik

As any self-respecting Neogi, Khri'zhatt is unfailingly accompanied by his personal umber hulk, which functions as anything he might require at the moment. Thrik is particularly notable for having been conditioned to obey its master alone by non-magical means, making its blind loyalty virtually unshakable, not less so for it not being exceedingly bright in its own right. Its only vice is occasionally chewing pieces off captives or bystanders if left unattended, and even that does not entirely play in its disfavour in a Neogi's opinion.

Skills and Abilities:

- Khri'zhatt is cunning enough to fend for himself in the wilderness, which mostly involves putting Thrik to good use.
- If necessary, he can bite his enemies to inject an enfeebling poison into them.
- As some members of his species, he possesses some spontaneous magic potential. As yet, it mostly amounts to summoning swarms of annoying gnats, but there is plenty of room for improvement.
- Arguably his most dangerous ability, Khri'zhatt can perform a ritual which binds a non-sentient monstrous creature to his will. The creature must remain immobilised for the incantation's entire duration of a day and a night.

Weaknesses:

- Greed. Risks be damned, Khri'zhatt will jump at any opportunity to increase his wealth by any means necessary.
- Gluttony. If it moves, he will probably want to eat it, and not moving is probably not a safe defense either. This can lead to fairly uncomfortable, when not potentially deadly, inconvenients for him and anyone unfortunate enough to be in his vicinity.
- And, of course, without Thrik he is not much more threatening in direct combat than a huge spider.

[6slyboy6]

@Oraculum
You jsut can't settle with any normal and well known races now can you XD

[Gardevoiran]

Ok lemme look at this with @Oraculum accepted.

This party consists of, but is not limited to:
- An Orc with a big ass thunder axe. @6slyboy6
- A giant beast that has a thing with an ogre.
- An Australian Half-Elf with excessive drooling and enough weapons to supply a militia. @Banana
- An Ogre with a destiny of being a Paladin. @DiZL ReloadeD
- A Goblin inventor that is narcissistic as FUCK. @Pikmin Eye
- A giant skeleton with Tourette's syndrome and loves to shout. @Turbowraith
- And a giant ass spider. @Oraculum

10/10

[Oraculum]

@Oraculum
You jsut can't settle with any normal and well known races now can you XD

@6slyboy6

But then, there would not be the fun of having people scratch their heads in confusion.

[Pikmin Eye]

Hey, Narcissism is completely fine. Just remember the golden rule. I am always better than you. My favorite character is the Skeleton just cause of how out there he is. Tourettes and the ability to punch anything? That is why he is awesome.

I still am not in it yet, but it will be fun then. Although the spider is trying to take my spotlight, and spiders burn well when they try that... In general, don't take my spotlight. In serious, adding a spider bent on enslaving others? Now we are truly an evil monster team, as long as you don't try to eat and/or enslave my goblin. We should be somewhat decent friends.

[KRIEEEG]

Great, now I think I must find a way to put that giant ass spider in the group without involving Yashar. I'm sure he would throw up if he saw it.

[Turbowraith]

Hey, Narcissism is completely fine. Just remember the golden rule. I am always better than you. My favorite character is the Skeleton just cause of how out there he is. Tourettes and the ability to punch anything? That is why he is awesome.

@Pikmin Eye

The Skeleton thanks you for your superior taste. And by thank I mean probably punch in the face.

Also I found our party's theme song.

This.

[KRIEEEG]

This.

@Turbowraith

IT HURTS! MAKE STOP!!

[Oraculum]

Now we are truly an evil monster team, as long as you don't try to eat and/or enslave my goblin. We should be somewhat decent friends.

@Pikmin Eye

But goblins are tasty. And they're nice enough to cook themselves most of the time.

[Turbowraith]

IT HURTS! MAKE STOP!!

@KRIEEEG

THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

_{You can practically hear what every individual party member is doing.}

[6slyboy6]

@Turbowraith
I ship that party music. It is fitting for the ragtag bunch of idiots we are. And we ahve enough giant monsters to carry quite a few giant boomboxes to make sure EVERYONE gets annoyed by our theme song. SCIENCE

[Gardevoiran]

@Turbowraith

I have a good idea.

Opened by this.