Cairomaru said
TAKE A CHASTITY BELT AND SIDDOWN
No.
*pouting ensues*
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No.
*pouting ensues*
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
The time was October 29th of 2013. Qara'Sion awoke on the couch, hungover in his suede tailcoat. Once again getting drunk off of the hundred dollar bottle of wine. He slowly rose from the couch and staggered his way to the empty bottle, eventually making his way to the kitchen counter it rested on. Picking up the bottle, he inspected the date on the label.
"Yeah... this was aged well alright. July." He thought to himself as he chucked the bottle perfectly into the trash bin. Or was it the recycling bin? Didn't matter, the garbage truck would toss them together anyway. The young khajiit walked his way to wall to ceiling window and pulled out a pack of cigarettes;Newports to be precise, and lit one up in his mouth as he stared outside, watching the beautiful downtown street of los santos. One pull of the cigarette, and he started coughing. Damn hangover
At that moment, he received a text message from Thyra. "Hey cat, we're going to the jewelry store. Pick me up in five." The message read. Since when was she the one for jewelry? With a sigh, Qara'Sion walked to the dinner table and put the cigarette out on the ashtray. The moment he did, a pigeon flew straight into his clean window. And it didn't fall down. It stuck on to the bloody window. "Looks like I'm gonna have to get someone to pull it off..." He said with a sigh as he walked out of his five-star apartment.
Soon, he arrived at Thyra's apartment building "Del Perro Heights" in front in his mini-cooper. Eventually she came charging out of the building like a line-backer. "Scoot over bitches!" She sang as she shoved people out of her way, drop kicking one man, and swan diving into the passenger seat of Sion's car perfectly. "We're picking up Cub. Drive." She commanded. Sion was dumbfounded. "How on Earth are we gonna fit Cub into this car?" "I'll make him fit. "But how-" "I. Will. Make. Him. Fit. Drive." She demanded. And with that, Sion sped off.
"Hmm... this is a pretty decent, yet fragile appearing car." She complimented(?) Sion's car. "Yeah... Reigenleif and Shenzi modded it. Although I'm kind of worried... not because Reigenleif worked on it, but that Shenzi did." He whined lowly as he drove. Traffic was starting to get heavy, and Sion's patience running thin. He didn't want to wait for the lights to change, and people were starting to cut him off. "Okay. That's it." He thought as he drove off the street and on to the sidewalk at an alarming speed. "Off the road people!" he yelled as he drove on the sidewalk, watching people quickly moving out of his way. An old lady at some point with her walker who didn't notice him coming down the sidewalk at Mach 5 appeared. "Move it grandma!" He shouted as he honked the horn of the mini-cooper, which started playing La Cucaracha. The old woman spun her head around to see him coming and lunged out of the way, arms, legs, and walker stretched out as he passed her.
Eventually the two crashed into a sign that read 3 Alta Street apartments, meaning they arrived at Cub's home. The two looked to their right where Cub stood right next to them, mouth gaped open in shock. "Get in the car!" Sion barked at him, still having road rage. "Do you think I could even fit in this?" He stoically said as he pointed to the mini-cooper. Thyra sighed and grabbed him by the arm. "We'll squish you in. Drive Sion." Thyra commanded and with that, the three were off to the jewelry store!
Yay!
The time was October 29th of 2013. Qara'Sion awoke on the couch, hungover in his suede tailcoat. Once again getting drunk off of the hundred dollar bottle of wine. He slowly rose from the couch and staggered his way to the empty bottle, eventually making his way to the kitchen counter it rested on. Picking up the bottle, he inspected the date on the label.
"Yeah... this was aged well alright. July." He thought to himself as he chucked the bottle perfectly into the trash bin. Or was it the recycling bin? Didn't matter, the garbage truck would toss them together anyway. The young khajiit walked his way to wall to ceiling window and pulled out a pack of cigarettes;Newports to be precise, and lit one up in his mouth as he stared outside, watching the beautiful downtown street of los santos. One pull of the cigarette, and he started coughing. Damn hangover
At that moment, he received a text message from Thyra. "Hey cat, we're going to the jewelry store. Pick me up in five." The message read. Since when was she the one for jewelry? With a sigh, Qara'Sion walked to the dinner table and put the cigarette out on the ashtray. The moment he did, a pigeon flew straight into his clean window. And it didn't fall down. It stuck on to the bloody window. "Looks like I'm gonna have to get someone to pull it off..." He said with a sigh as he walked out of his five-star apartment.
Soon, he arrived at Thyra's apartment building "Del Perro Heights" in front in his mini-cooper. Eventually she came charging out of the building like a line-backer. "Scoot over bitches!" She sang as she shoved people out of her way, drop kicking one man, and swan diving into the passenger seat of Sion's car perfectly. "We're picking up Cub. Drive." She commanded. Sion was dumbfounded. "How on Earth are we gonna fit Cub into this car?" "I'll make him fit. "But how-" "I. Will. Make. Him. Fit. Drive." She demanded. And with that, Sion sped off.
"Hmm... this is a pretty decent, yet fragile appearing car." She complimented(?) Sion's car. "Yeah... Reigenleif and Shenzi modded it. Although I'm kind of worried... not because Reigenleif worked on it, but that Shenzi did." He whined lowly as he drove. Traffic was starting to get heavy, and Sion's patience running thin. He didn't want to wait for the lights to change, and people were starting to cut him off. "Okay. That's it." He thought as he drove off the street and on to the sidewalk at an alarming speed. "Off the road people!" he yelled as he drove on the sidewalk, watching people quickly moving out of his way. An old lady at some point with her walker who didn't notice him coming down the sidewalk at Mach 5 appeared. "Move it grandma!" He shouted as he honked the horn of the mini-cooper, which started playing La Cucaracha. The old woman spun her head around to see him coming and lunged out of the way, arms, legs, and walker stretched out as he passed her.
Eventually the two crashed into a sign that read 3 Alta Street apartments, meaning they arrived at Cub's home. The two looked to their right where Cub stood right next to them, mouth gaped open in shock. "Get in the car!" Sion barked at him, still having road rage. "Do you think I could even fit in this?" He stoically said as he pointed to the mini-cooper. Thyra sighed and grabbed him by the arm. "We'll squish you in. Drive Sion." Thyra commanded and with that, the three were off to the jewelry store!
Yay!
Leidenschaft Relax, only half-dead
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2 mos ago
Cairomaru said
LOOK WHAT I FOUND
Wow, a piece of history... such majesty...
I am absolutely loving the shitstorm that is the Spiderwoman cover controversy. And as if it couldn't have gotten any better, my favorite internet stranger, Maddox, made a video on it. Hilarity ahead.
Dervish said
I am home!Miss me?
Why would we?
>:[
Grr.
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Dervish Let's get volatile
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1 mo ago
Voltaire said
Why would we?>:[Grr.
So I can post our collab?
God. Rude.
Robeatics Codename: Fupa
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5 yrs ago
Jesus, Soul wasn't kidding about Razlinc being a kinky bitch.
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Dervish Let's get volatile
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1 mo ago
Robeatics said
Jesus, Soul wasn't kidding about Razlinc being a kinky bitch.
Wait until you see her other dungeon.
Robeatics Codename: Fupa
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5 yrs ago
Dervish said
Wait until you see her other dungeon.
I'm guessing that's where Urzoth is ending up when she lands in Hegathe. You know, for variety.
Dervish said
Wait until you see her other dungeon.
Oh god... What have I done?!
I knew there was an unusual amount of emphasis on "touching!"
WittyReference the Living Dead
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2 yrs ago
Hello friends, I'm still alive. Less than two weeks 'til my trip so I'll be in and out while nerves eat me alive. (We can't all be globetrotters, right Psy? ;p)
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Dervish Let's get volatile
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1 mo ago
Imma try to get a post up soon, so hopefully before your trip. ;)
NIGHT OF WHATEVER DAY I LEFT OFF ON
Our group of students and teachers recently came back to the campsite from their beach trip. To celebrate the last night of camping, the school principal Hralvar set up a nice, massive tent the size of an apartment for all of his students and teachers to relax in. He allowed them all to drink his numerous bottles of alcohol and the group was nice, warm, and cozy as the pit pat of rain drops hit the outside of the tent.
And as we all know, a cozy relaxing atmosphere filled with food, music and friendship can easily change when a bunch of teenagers get together and drink hard.
"You know... after its sat there for a few days... this chili isn't so bad." Blade stated as he ate from the endless pot of leftover gruel. "We have an assortment of chinese food, and you still choose to eat that?" Zaveed's sister questioned the argonian. Despite the music playing in the background, she could hear the sobbing of Zainat and Francis as they held each other. When in the world were they going to stop crying?
"More food for the rest of us I suppose." Thyra sighed. Taking a swig from a bottle of vodka and passing it over to the principal. "This was nice of you Hralvar, thanks." "No problem! My favorite students and teachers derserve nothin but the best!" The group was already midway into their drinks, having a fun ol' time. When a slightly intoxicated and flushed Rena jumped up from her seat with her hands on her hips.
"I've got an idea!" She began. "Let's play a game!" Everyone looked at each other, then back to her. "What kind of game?" Asked Valsiore. The imperial girl pulled out a deck of cards from her pocket and held them in front of the group. "The king's game!" "...I've never heard of that game before. How do you play?" Another question asked, this time from the eldest orc in the tent. "It's basically like truth or dare, only with just dares. We each draw a card, and whoever gets the king makes up a rule, then shouts out one of the other cards and the person with that card has to do what they say. So like, say I get the king card and my rule is for someone to eat that chili Blade has, I then say card number seven and you have that card, you have to eat the chili. Then we shuffle the cards again and start over. You get it?" Gorzath nodded twice to her. "We all wanna play it?"
Zaveed: Sounds like fun.
Burkswallow: Why not?
Elayna: *Cough* *Cough* Let's do it.
Thyra: This girl is going to hot box the tent again... but fine.
Sion: Hoo boy... this will be interesting...
Rena: Then let's begin!
The group sat around in a circle as Rena handed out a card to each person. Everyone placed their card face down in front of them. "Okay..." She started before taking a sip from her red cup. "Three.. two... one... go!" Each person quickly snatched up their card and turned it around. "I've got the king." Cub announced. "We have our firsht king! Now as king, what is your order?" The orc pondered for a moment. "Okay! As king, I demand that... card number six must let me pet them!" "YES IT'S NOT ME!" Sion cheered. "Then who has card six?" Marassa sighed. "I do..." "Then obey your king! His rule is set!" Rena announced. Marassa begrudgingly walked over to Cub and sat in front of him, ears folded. With a happy expression and thanks to his luck, he began to pet Marassa on the head like a house cat. "So degrading..." She thought to herself. "I can empathize with Sion now..."
"Next round!" Rena yelled whilst Cub pet Marassa. "Three... two... one... go!" Everyone snatched up their card. "...I've got it." Sevari stated. "And as King... I decree that... card number ten must do whatever I have to do if my card is called." "...I guess that's me." Zainat answered. "Ug... that's so boring Sevari... okay, next!"
Then the round began again. "Okay, I'm king." Thyra said as she waved the card in her hand. "And as my rule..." She started. However she thought about her rule first before saying it. The last two were pretty lame, and she needed to up the ante. Then it hit her as she smirked. "My rule is that the person must wear our school's cheer leading outfit!" All of the males in the group froze up as they stared at her cruel smile. "And that person is... the ace of spades!" No one spoke after her as one another glanced from the card, to each other. That means two things. One: The person with the card was not a girl and Two: that person was hiding it. "Hey!" Rena began. "The king has spoken, so who has the card?" "Not me." "Nope." "I'm safe, see?" One by one everyone showed their card.
Except Sion.
All eyes turned to him, and he stared down in panic. "...Please don't make me-" "THE KING HAS SPOKEN! Take a sip of your drink if it'll make you feel better." "Oh! We could *cough* have a little make-over!" Elayna cooed. "Yeah... that'll be fun... right Sion?" Thyra slyly spoke. The khajiit quickly ran out of the tent as Thyra chased him, Elayna right behind with the outfit. Screams and pleas were heard from outside of the tent and eventually, Elayna returned without the outfit. "Introducing! The newest addition to the squad! Miss Sion!" And with that, Thyra dragged the embarrassed khajiit inside. And all laughed.
Blade gave a wolf call. "Woo~ looking fine there little lady!" "SHUT UP BLADE!"
Zaveed laughed. "I dunno, you might turn me out with those legs." "BE QUIET BOSS!"
Poor Sion, wearing a skirt and a middriff shuffled back to his spot and bent to sit down. "Like, I tots didn't know Sion was a briefs kind of guy." From Vurwe. The humiliated khajiit quickly folded the skirt and sat down. "Hahaha, panty shot!" From Zainat. The khajiit chugged a bottle of gin and lowered his head in shame. As he did, Cub shuffled near him and poked the side of his newly found breasts. Sion swatted the orc's hand away. "Okay... okay... round... next round..."
Once more, everyone drew another card. "So, who's king?" "I've got it this time." The argonian declared. "So as king..." then it was his turn to think. An idea struck his head, but there was a risk of it... but if Cub was lucky to succeed in his strange desire to pet a khajiit, then he could be lucky too. "As king, the person with the queen must be my personal slave, and address me as daddy." Everyone glanced around and noticed Reigenleif's jaw drop. Then she hissed, "I will NEVER. EVER. Call you "daddy". Score, one of the girls. "Ah, ah, ah. Rules are rules. You gotta obey." He smirked. "He's right! Sorry Reigenleif!" Their game leader yelled. "Now, please, bring me some of that egg foo yung right there and the rum and coke." The nord almost crushed the card in her hand as she proceeded to do as she was asked. She practically tossed the drink and bowl of food to him. "Here you go." "Here you go, what...?" The poor girl was practically grinding her teeth before she finally spoke. "Here you go... daddy." A few of them laughed, although Zaveed wasn't sure how to feel about it.
"Who's king now?" "I *cough* *cough* am." Stated Elayna. "Okay, what's the rule?" "Um... my rule is.. the black joker must take a hit from the bong till I say stop!" Francis grimaced. "Poor soul with that card is going to be high enough to kiss the sun..." "I-i got it." Cub announced a bit nervous. Everyone looked at him in confusion. "I must say... has he ever done this before? I cannot recall." Burkswallow asked. "I... don't think he has." Answered Zaveed. "So... he's a virgin then!?" The breton girl gasped. The other two nodded slowly and Elayna smirked to the large orc. "Don't worry about a thing!" She then toppled over the orc, holding it to his mouth. "I promise. I'll be gentle.. now put this end to your lips..." Cub slowly obliged. "Now, suck hard." Cub did so, feeling the smoke fill his mouth. "Now, let it go." Cub released the smoke from his mouth, feeling fine enough. "Did... did I do it right?" "No, you've got to let it go down your throat. Once more!" He repeated the process, inhaling enough smoke to make him go into a coughing fit. "Good job stoner, you've corrupted his innocence." Valsiore sighed. "No i didn't! I just took his smoking virginity! Come on everyone, clap for Cub!" And all clapped, albeit a few felt wary. "Now snaps!" And everyone snapped their fingers. "Now, jazz hands!" And each of them shook their hands wildly.
"*hic*, I king now! What do I win?" "Joy, drunky is the king... okay Hralvar, what is your rule?" Thyra sighed, shaking her head. "Hmm... as king, everyone must drink together until I stop!" And everyone paused. "Hralvar, you're supposed to call out a card-" "I said my rule, and as king, you all must do what I say!" He then leaned forward, lowering his voice. "Or... are you ungrateful for allowing you all youngins to drink? I could tell your parents you know... and as principal, they'll believe me." "Nope! Not at all, let's do it!"
Everyone stared at their cups, slightly nervous. "Ready? Go!" And Hralvar began to chug. Everyone followed suit, tilting their heads back to down the liquor. Cub was the first to stop. Followed by Vurwe, then, Rena, Sevari, Sion, Elayna, Marassa, Burkswallow, Valsiore, Francis, Zainat, Gorzath, Blade, Zaveed, Urzoth, Reigenleif, Thyra, then lastly him. All coughing. "Are you... trying to kill us!?" Urzoth roared at him. "Pfft, I knew my nords would win this. Ain't that right honeys?" *hack* "You're... psycho..."
"So... ug... our king now is...?" Rena, feeling the effects of the liquor was interrupted as a popping noise was heard. Turning her head, she saw Sion clenching his chest which was missing one breast; soaked in water. "I told you to stop trying to poke me and now, i'm lopsided. Thanks Cub!" He barked. "Well, I wanted to know what it was-" "So you couldn't have just asked!? It was a water balloon!" Marassa leaned over to look in Cub's eyes. "Hey... are you high?" She asked. "Uh... no." "Yes you are. Elayna, did you let him smoke more!?" "Uh... no." "Elayna!" "Well he asked to try it again!" Cub scratched his chin. "I feel heavy. And hungry." He lowly spoke. "What did you say boy!? You're hungry?" Hralvar yelled. Cub nodded once. Hralvar grabbed a large spoon and a bowl of mashed up chicken and vegetables quickly, running over to the orc and scooped him up like a baby. Everyone(baffled) watched as the drunk nord spoon fed the high/slightly tipsy orc. "Now open up, here come's the train." Cub did as told, and began to eat. "Who's my growing guy? You are, yes you are~" "Aww! This is so adorable! It's like *cough* watching an old bear feeding a bigger bear!" Elayna cooed as she clasped her hands together. Sion looked at her from the corner of his eyes before speaking. "Yeah, as adorable as Insidious 2."
"Sion, favor. Give me the other water balloon." Thyra asked him as she stared at the breton. Confused, he obliged and reached into the top, handing the balloon to her. Thyra quickly tossed the balloon at Elayna who with surprisingly sharp reflexes, dodged. Unfortunately, the balloon hit Marassa's shirt. The khajiit gasped as she tried to cover her chest. "Thyra!" "I'm sorry! That was for Elayna!" "Oh yeah!?" Marassa picked up a rather large cup of soy sauce and threw it. Alcohol impaired her aim and she completely missed; hitting Reigenleif. "Guys! What the hell!?" Then Reigenleif picked up a bowl of sesame chicken and tossed said bowl. Marassa quickly pulled up Vurwe and used her as a meat shield, taking the impact. "Like, you'll totally regret that boo boo!" The elf girl barked as she freed herself from Marassa. She ran to the nearest bottle of soda and quickly began to shake it. As she turned around to move to Marassa, another water balloon flew passed Vurwe, hitting Rena. She gasped and as she moved to go get her own ammunition, the soda exploded. Right on Urzoth. "That's it! I'll teach you all how to behave!" And soon enough, food, water, and other drinks flew around until the girls began to wrestle with each other in one giant pile.
Zaveed:This... is unexpected.
Valsiore: From wet t-shirts, to wrestling in food.
Francis: ...No one is going to stop this?
Sevari: ...Let them tire themselves out.
Blade: Heheh that's right... fight for daddy.
The girls eventually did stop. And they stopped when they realized a few people were enjoying what they were seeing. With an unspoken oath, they planned to do something to them while they slept.
"Congrats Gorzath! You finally got king!" Rena congratulated him, still covered from head to toe. "So, I make up a rule now right?" "Yep. Go crazy." The orc tried to come up with an idea, something the young kids would enjoy. "Alright. The one with the jack card must kiss the person across from them!" A few of them were taken aback from Gorzath's rule. "Well, I didn't think you would be the lewd one..." Burkswallow chuckled a bit. "Ooh~ our first kiss of the night! So, who's the jack?" Zaveed quietly raised his hand. He looked to the person across from him. And his eyes grew wide. "I request a redo!" Zainat quickly shouted. "Nope! Sorry, rules are rules! Smooch!" In the back of Rena and Vurwe minds, they were literally drooling. And soon enough, the two males sat across each other with a look of "I really don't want to do this" on their faces. Everyone remained quiet, and watched on. Except the two giggling girls. Their eyes closed as they grimaced and began to lean forward. Quickly they touched and pulled away from each other, gagging, while the two girls were squealing like pigs, others laughed.
"...Oh! I'm king!" Urzoth cheered softly. "Good! Now, your rule is...?" "Um... so, card number three..." Sevari gulped, already knowing he was picked. "Card number three must eat a box of honeycombs!" Everyone fell silent, while Sevari sighed with relief. Then Rena chimed in. "Okay, we're gonna bend the rules a bit. Urzoth, you need to make a better one than that. Besides, we all made a pact to never allow Sevari the chance to relapse again." "But... one honeycomb is fine right...?" "No! One will turn into a box! Urzoth, get crackin!" The female orc held her head to the side. "How about... a container of wasabi?" "No! We don't even have wasabi and I doubt it will be as spicy as that chili Blade's still eating, make another one-" "Fine!" She bellowed. "He has to eat Blade's gym socks!" And all fell silent. Sion began to think he was better off in the cheer squad outfit than to do THAT. Zaveed turned to Sevari and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Bro... I sorz..." "And... and the king has spoken. And since Sevari is doing it... Zainat must too." Vurwe gasped distraught. The khajiit and the elf stared at each other, jaws practically to the floor speechless. "Blade.. take out the socks." The game leader announced.
The argonian pulled his work-out bag next to him and leaned over. Immediately upon unzipping it, his head jerked back as if he were uppercutted. Plugging his nose, he picked out two gym socks by his fingers and all flinched back when the smell filled the tent. The smell of the food, alcohol, and mary jane couldn't even mask the putrid scent. "Sucks to be you..." Francis said to Zainat.
Sevari and Zainat sat next to each other as everyone else made two lines facing each other, creating a pathway for Rena to bring the socks to the two. Everyone else's noses aside from the two were plugged by laundry clips, and the imperial held the socks on a stick. "Let's... ug, begin." Burkswallow pulled out a kazoo and began to play a song whilst the males; Zaveed, Sion, Gorzath, Cub, Hralvar, Valsiore, Francis, and Blade began to chant. All placed a hand on their chest. Rena slowly walked over to the two cringing souls. Vurwe was crying softly as she mouthed an "I love you" to Zainat. She eventually made her way to the two and lowered the socks off the stick. The imperial stood in front of them and placed a hand on her chest. "The king's rule... is word." She whispered. The males lowered their voices as the females began to hum softly.
The two almost in tears hugged each other one last time before picking up the socks. To sovngarde, they were going. And with tears, and mucus, and snot, and leftover sweat, the two began to chew on the socks as they convulsed. They tried to be strong for their loved ones, to see tomorrow. This was true torture. But something empowered them to keep going. Maybe it was the will to live? Maybe it was the desire for tomorrow? Maybe it was the cast of males picking up their loud chanting again? Maybe... they could do it.
Alas, they failed. The two threw up the socks and laid in defeat. "Okay, next round everyone!"
After a long night of drinks, fun, and laughter, everyone laid in their sleeping bags. Although one orc tossed and turned, once more unable to sleep. He pouted when suddenly, heard the sound of something clicking. A recording began to play of Sion's voice.
"The tiger reclines in the shimmering jungle. The sparrow has silenced her cheep. Screw your stuffed bear, I'm not getting you shit. Close your eyes, cut the crap, and go the FUCK to sleep Cub!"
And with that, the group slept soundly. All laid peacefully. Until the girls woke up.
Yay :3
Our group of students and teachers recently came back to the campsite from their beach trip. To celebrate the last night of camping, the school principal Hralvar set up a nice, massive tent the size of an apartment for all of his students and teachers to relax in. He allowed them all to drink his numerous bottles of alcohol and the group was nice, warm, and cozy as the pit pat of rain drops hit the outside of the tent.
And as we all know, a cozy relaxing atmosphere filled with food, music and friendship can easily change when a bunch of teenagers get together and drink hard.
"You know... after its sat there for a few days... this chili isn't so bad." Blade stated as he ate from the endless pot of leftover gruel. "We have an assortment of chinese food, and you still choose to eat that?" Zaveed's sister questioned the argonian. Despite the music playing in the background, she could hear the sobbing of Zainat and Francis as they held each other. When in the world were they going to stop crying?
"More food for the rest of us I suppose." Thyra sighed. Taking a swig from a bottle of vodka and passing it over to the principal. "This was nice of you Hralvar, thanks." "No problem! My favorite students and teachers derserve nothin but the best!" The group was already midway into their drinks, having a fun ol' time. When a slightly intoxicated and flushed Rena jumped up from her seat with her hands on her hips.
"I've got an idea!" She began. "Let's play a game!" Everyone looked at each other, then back to her. "What kind of game?" Asked Valsiore. The imperial girl pulled out a deck of cards from her pocket and held them in front of the group. "The king's game!" "...I've never heard of that game before. How do you play?" Another question asked, this time from the eldest orc in the tent. "It's basically like truth or dare, only with just dares. We each draw a card, and whoever gets the king makes up a rule, then shouts out one of the other cards and the person with that card has to do what they say. So like, say I get the king card and my rule is for someone to eat that chili Blade has, I then say card number seven and you have that card, you have to eat the chili. Then we shuffle the cards again and start over. You get it?" Gorzath nodded twice to her. "We all wanna play it?"
Zaveed: Sounds like fun.
Burkswallow: Why not?
Elayna: *Cough* *Cough* Let's do it.
Thyra: This girl is going to hot box the tent again... but fine.
Sion: Hoo boy... this will be interesting...
Rena: Then let's begin!
The group sat around in a circle as Rena handed out a card to each person. Everyone placed their card face down in front of them. "Okay..." She started before taking a sip from her red cup. "Three.. two... one... go!" Each person quickly snatched up their card and turned it around. "I've got the king." Cub announced. "We have our firsht king! Now as king, what is your order?" The orc pondered for a moment. "Okay! As king, I demand that... card number six must let me pet them!" "YES IT'S NOT ME!" Sion cheered. "Then who has card six?" Marassa sighed. "I do..." "Then obey your king! His rule is set!" Rena announced. Marassa begrudgingly walked over to Cub and sat in front of him, ears folded. With a happy expression and thanks to his luck, he began to pet Marassa on the head like a house cat. "So degrading..." She thought to herself. "I can empathize with Sion now..."
"Next round!" Rena yelled whilst Cub pet Marassa. "Three... two... one... go!" Everyone snatched up their card. "...I've got it." Sevari stated. "And as King... I decree that... card number ten must do whatever I have to do if my card is called." "...I guess that's me." Zainat answered. "Ug... that's so boring Sevari... okay, next!"
Then the round began again. "Okay, I'm king." Thyra said as she waved the card in her hand. "And as my rule..." She started. However she thought about her rule first before saying it. The last two were pretty lame, and she needed to up the ante. Then it hit her as she smirked. "My rule is that the person must wear our school's cheer leading outfit!" All of the males in the group froze up as they stared at her cruel smile. "And that person is... the ace of spades!" No one spoke after her as one another glanced from the card, to each other. That means two things. One: The person with the card was not a girl and Two: that person was hiding it. "Hey!" Rena began. "The king has spoken, so who has the card?" "Not me." "Nope." "I'm safe, see?" One by one everyone showed their card.
Except Sion.
All eyes turned to him, and he stared down in panic. "...Please don't make me-" "THE KING HAS SPOKEN! Take a sip of your drink if it'll make you feel better." "Oh! We could *cough* have a little make-over!" Elayna cooed. "Yeah... that'll be fun... right Sion?" Thyra slyly spoke. The khajiit quickly ran out of the tent as Thyra chased him, Elayna right behind with the outfit. Screams and pleas were heard from outside of the tent and eventually, Elayna returned without the outfit. "Introducing! The newest addition to the squad! Miss Sion!" And with that, Thyra dragged the embarrassed khajiit inside. And all laughed.
Blade gave a wolf call. "Woo~ looking fine there little lady!" "SHUT UP BLADE!"
Zaveed laughed. "I dunno, you might turn me out with those legs." "BE QUIET BOSS!"
Poor Sion, wearing a skirt and a middriff shuffled back to his spot and bent to sit down. "Like, I tots didn't know Sion was a briefs kind of guy." From Vurwe. The humiliated khajiit quickly folded the skirt and sat down. "Hahaha, panty shot!" From Zainat. The khajiit chugged a bottle of gin and lowered his head in shame. As he did, Cub shuffled near him and poked the side of his newly found breasts. Sion swatted the orc's hand away. "Okay... okay... round... next round..."
Once more, everyone drew another card. "So, who's king?" "I've got it this time." The argonian declared. "So as king..." then it was his turn to think. An idea struck his head, but there was a risk of it... but if Cub was lucky to succeed in his strange desire to pet a khajiit, then he could be lucky too. "As king, the person with the queen must be my personal slave, and address me as daddy." Everyone glanced around and noticed Reigenleif's jaw drop. Then she hissed, "I will NEVER. EVER. Call you "daddy". Score, one of the girls. "Ah, ah, ah. Rules are rules. You gotta obey." He smirked. "He's right! Sorry Reigenleif!" Their game leader yelled. "Now, please, bring me some of that egg foo yung right there and the rum and coke." The nord almost crushed the card in her hand as she proceeded to do as she was asked. She practically tossed the drink and bowl of food to him. "Here you go." "Here you go, what...?" The poor girl was practically grinding her teeth before she finally spoke. "Here you go... daddy." A few of them laughed, although Zaveed wasn't sure how to feel about it.
"Who's king now?" "I *cough* *cough* am." Stated Elayna. "Okay, what's the rule?" "Um... my rule is.. the black joker must take a hit from the bong till I say stop!" Francis grimaced. "Poor soul with that card is going to be high enough to kiss the sun..." "I-i got it." Cub announced a bit nervous. Everyone looked at him in confusion. "I must say... has he ever done this before? I cannot recall." Burkswallow asked. "I... don't think he has." Answered Zaveed. "So... he's a virgin then!?" The breton girl gasped. The other two nodded slowly and Elayna smirked to the large orc. "Don't worry about a thing!" She then toppled over the orc, holding it to his mouth. "I promise. I'll be gentle.. now put this end to your lips..." Cub slowly obliged. "Now, suck hard." Cub did so, feeling the smoke fill his mouth. "Now, let it go." Cub released the smoke from his mouth, feeling fine enough. "Did... did I do it right?" "No, you've got to let it go down your throat. Once more!" He repeated the process, inhaling enough smoke to make him go into a coughing fit. "Good job stoner, you've corrupted his innocence." Valsiore sighed. "No i didn't! I just took his smoking virginity! Come on everyone, clap for Cub!" And all clapped, albeit a few felt wary. "Now snaps!" And everyone snapped their fingers. "Now, jazz hands!" And each of them shook their hands wildly.
"*hic*, I king now! What do I win?" "Joy, drunky is the king... okay Hralvar, what is your rule?" Thyra sighed, shaking her head. "Hmm... as king, everyone must drink together until I stop!" And everyone paused. "Hralvar, you're supposed to call out a card-" "I said my rule, and as king, you all must do what I say!" He then leaned forward, lowering his voice. "Or... are you ungrateful for allowing you all youngins to drink? I could tell your parents you know... and as principal, they'll believe me." "Nope! Not at all, let's do it!"
Everyone stared at their cups, slightly nervous. "Ready? Go!" And Hralvar began to chug. Everyone followed suit, tilting their heads back to down the liquor. Cub was the first to stop. Followed by Vurwe, then, Rena, Sevari, Sion, Elayna, Marassa, Burkswallow, Valsiore, Francis, Zainat, Gorzath, Blade, Zaveed, Urzoth, Reigenleif, Thyra, then lastly him. All coughing. "Are you... trying to kill us!?" Urzoth roared at him. "Pfft, I knew my nords would win this. Ain't that right honeys?" *hack* "You're... psycho..."
"So... ug... our king now is...?" Rena, feeling the effects of the liquor was interrupted as a popping noise was heard. Turning her head, she saw Sion clenching his chest which was missing one breast; soaked in water. "I told you to stop trying to poke me and now, i'm lopsided. Thanks Cub!" He barked. "Well, I wanted to know what it was-" "So you couldn't have just asked!? It was a water balloon!" Marassa leaned over to look in Cub's eyes. "Hey... are you high?" She asked. "Uh... no." "Yes you are. Elayna, did you let him smoke more!?" "Uh... no." "Elayna!" "Well he asked to try it again!" Cub scratched his chin. "I feel heavy. And hungry." He lowly spoke. "What did you say boy!? You're hungry?" Hralvar yelled. Cub nodded once. Hralvar grabbed a large spoon and a bowl of mashed up chicken and vegetables quickly, running over to the orc and scooped him up like a baby. Everyone(baffled) watched as the drunk nord spoon fed the high/slightly tipsy orc. "Now open up, here come's the train." Cub did as told, and began to eat. "Who's my growing guy? You are, yes you are~" "Aww! This is so adorable! It's like *cough* watching an old bear feeding a bigger bear!" Elayna cooed as she clasped her hands together. Sion looked at her from the corner of his eyes before speaking. "Yeah, as adorable as Insidious 2."
"Sion, favor. Give me the other water balloon." Thyra asked him as she stared at the breton. Confused, he obliged and reached into the top, handing the balloon to her. Thyra quickly tossed the balloon at Elayna who with surprisingly sharp reflexes, dodged. Unfortunately, the balloon hit Marassa's shirt. The khajiit gasped as she tried to cover her chest. "Thyra!" "I'm sorry! That was for Elayna!" "Oh yeah!?" Marassa picked up a rather large cup of soy sauce and threw it. Alcohol impaired her aim and she completely missed; hitting Reigenleif. "Guys! What the hell!?" Then Reigenleif picked up a bowl of sesame chicken and tossed said bowl. Marassa quickly pulled up Vurwe and used her as a meat shield, taking the impact. "Like, you'll totally regret that boo boo!" The elf girl barked as she freed herself from Marassa. She ran to the nearest bottle of soda and quickly began to shake it. As she turned around to move to Marassa, another water balloon flew passed Vurwe, hitting Rena. She gasped and as she moved to go get her own ammunition, the soda exploded. Right on Urzoth. "That's it! I'll teach you all how to behave!" And soon enough, food, water, and other drinks flew around until the girls began to wrestle with each other in one giant pile.
Zaveed:This... is unexpected.
Valsiore: From wet t-shirts, to wrestling in food.
Francis: ...No one is going to stop this?
Sevari: ...Let them tire themselves out.
Blade: Heheh that's right... fight for daddy.
The girls eventually did stop. And they stopped when they realized a few people were enjoying what they were seeing. With an unspoken oath, they planned to do something to them while they slept.
"Congrats Gorzath! You finally got king!" Rena congratulated him, still covered from head to toe. "So, I make up a rule now right?" "Yep. Go crazy." The orc tried to come up with an idea, something the young kids would enjoy. "Alright. The one with the jack card must kiss the person across from them!" A few of them were taken aback from Gorzath's rule. "Well, I didn't think you would be the lewd one..." Burkswallow chuckled a bit. "Ooh~ our first kiss of the night! So, who's the jack?" Zaveed quietly raised his hand. He looked to the person across from him. And his eyes grew wide. "I request a redo!" Zainat quickly shouted. "Nope! Sorry, rules are rules! Smooch!" In the back of Rena and Vurwe minds, they were literally drooling. And soon enough, the two males sat across each other with a look of "I really don't want to do this" on their faces. Everyone remained quiet, and watched on. Except the two giggling girls. Their eyes closed as they grimaced and began to lean forward. Quickly they touched and pulled away from each other, gagging, while the two girls were squealing like pigs, others laughed.
"...Oh! I'm king!" Urzoth cheered softly. "Good! Now, your rule is...?" "Um... so, card number three..." Sevari gulped, already knowing he was picked. "Card number three must eat a box of honeycombs!" Everyone fell silent, while Sevari sighed with relief. Then Rena chimed in. "Okay, we're gonna bend the rules a bit. Urzoth, you need to make a better one than that. Besides, we all made a pact to never allow Sevari the chance to relapse again." "But... one honeycomb is fine right...?" "No! One will turn into a box! Urzoth, get crackin!" The female orc held her head to the side. "How about... a container of wasabi?" "No! We don't even have wasabi and I doubt it will be as spicy as that chili Blade's still eating, make another one-" "Fine!" She bellowed. "He has to eat Blade's gym socks!" And all fell silent. Sion began to think he was better off in the cheer squad outfit than to do THAT. Zaveed turned to Sevari and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Bro... I sorz..." "And... and the king has spoken. And since Sevari is doing it... Zainat must too." Vurwe gasped distraught. The khajiit and the elf stared at each other, jaws practically to the floor speechless. "Blade.. take out the socks." The game leader announced.
The argonian pulled his work-out bag next to him and leaned over. Immediately upon unzipping it, his head jerked back as if he were uppercutted. Plugging his nose, he picked out two gym socks by his fingers and all flinched back when the smell filled the tent. The smell of the food, alcohol, and mary jane couldn't even mask the putrid scent. "Sucks to be you..." Francis said to Zainat.
Sevari and Zainat sat next to each other as everyone else made two lines facing each other, creating a pathway for Rena to bring the socks to the two. Everyone else's noses aside from the two were plugged by laundry clips, and the imperial held the socks on a stick. "Let's... ug, begin." Burkswallow pulled out a kazoo and began to play a song whilst the males; Zaveed, Sion, Gorzath, Cub, Hralvar, Valsiore, Francis, and Blade began to chant. All placed a hand on their chest. Rena slowly walked over to the two cringing souls. Vurwe was crying softly as she mouthed an "I love you" to Zainat. She eventually made her way to the two and lowered the socks off the stick. The imperial stood in front of them and placed a hand on her chest. "The king's rule... is word." She whispered. The males lowered their voices as the females began to hum softly.
The two almost in tears hugged each other one last time before picking up the socks. To sovngarde, they were going. And with tears, and mucus, and snot, and leftover sweat, the two began to chew on the socks as they convulsed. They tried to be strong for their loved ones, to see tomorrow. This was true torture. But something empowered them to keep going. Maybe it was the will to live? Maybe it was the desire for tomorrow? Maybe it was the cast of males picking up their loud chanting again? Maybe... they could do it.
Alas, they failed. The two threw up the socks and laid in defeat. "Okay, next round everyone!"
After a long night of drinks, fun, and laughter, everyone laid in their sleeping bags. Although one orc tossed and turned, once more unable to sleep. He pouted when suddenly, heard the sound of something clicking. A recording began to play of Sion's voice.
"The tiger reclines in the shimmering jungle. The sparrow has silenced her cheep. Screw your stuffed bear, I'm not getting you shit. Close your eyes, cut the crap, and go the FUCK to sleep Cub!"
And with that, the group slept soundly. All laid peacefully. Until the girls woke up.
Yay :3
GM
Dervish Let's get volatile
Member
Seen
1 mo ago
I laughed, I cried, and I felt very uncomfortable reading that.
Well done!
Also, ohshitthefollowup.
It's going to be awful for anyone with a Y chromosome, I guarantee it.
Well done!
Also, ohshitthefollowup.
It's going to be awful for anyone with a Y chromosome, I guarantee it.
Robeatics Codename: Fupa
Member
Seen
5 yrs ago
I'll admit, I'm a little upset I didn't jump in quickly enough for Urzoth to be in a bikini on the beach. B(
Robeatics said
I'll admit, I'm a little upset I didn't jump in quickly enough for Urzoth to be in a bikini on the beach. B(
oh i just skipped the beach part till i could come up with something for it. No worries, she'll have her shine.
And remember boys and girls; in this fanfic.
No one is safe...
So I've been thinking of theme songs for our characters and I've got some for Zaveed, Sion, and Blade respectively.
Dick in a box was a close second.
Sion's a cute, fuzzy, wizard. Just like...
Basically Blade's day job.
I'll post more as I think of them.
Dick in a box was a close second.
Sion's a cute, fuzzy, wizard. Just like...
Basically Blade's day job.
I'll post more as I think of them.
Hey guys. Next week I'll be back in buisness, hopefully. Next Thursday.
I miss you all. :,(
I miss you all. :,(
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