[IC] Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

[Muttonhawk]

Lunise was at first surprised at Meesei's sudden spell, but her objections were silenced by the kiss. Still, she was flushed at the gesture. "I wish you would warn me before doing that," she murmured, peering around at the frozen faces. "Any one of these people around us could be well attuned to the kind of magical anomalies that would hide our relationship."

She sighed and continued. "Never mind. The letter, it was...I did not get to read it myself, but father was a mess. Weeping into his hands in his chair. He did not even try to hide anything when I walked in."

Lunise turned to sit down on the bench. "I asked after his wellness. He..." She looked at the ground. "He asked me, rhetorically, if she was not coming back. We both knew the answer." She paused, blank faced and staring at the pavement before them. "We grieved. We grieved for some time. And then, true to his blasted nature, father brought out a box of mother's old things. Just little mementos and letters. And we just shared stories of her, quietly celebrating her memory."

Lunise's lungs slowly emptied.

[EliteCommander]

Meesei silently and attentively listened through the whole of Lunise's explanation. She nodded to Lunise, her own expression mirroring her sadness. "I see. That possibility did cross my mind while I was waiting. From our time with your mother, I did not get the impression that she was leaving. Out of any of the bad news she could have given him...that did seem the most likely."

There was some hesitation from Meesei, but she did feel that she may have some helpful advice. Though, it was something that may well also have occurred to Lunise already. "Did you mention anything to him about our visit to her in Artaeum? If not...perhaps he does deserve to know? Speaking with Nytala, I never got the sense that she was anything less than genuine when she said that she loved you, and him. I do believe that, if it were her choice, she would want to return to you. I believe that she does want to return to you, even still. But, she mentioned several times that she has seen into many possible futures, and as frustratingly vague as the Psijic Order demands that she be, she did hint that she has some sort of purpose there. Some purpose that will directly influence you. For her to give up being with you and your father...whatever she has seen must be immensely important. Perhaps it would help your father to know that?"

[Muttonhawk]

Lunise at least made a little nod upwards. "I did tell him. At least, as much without revealing the reason they welcomed us, or any other secret business. That was primarily the reason I was able to swap stories with father." She wove her fingers together. "I did not really know my mother before a few days ago. Not as an adult. And yet, I learnt enough that father recognised who I spoke of."

She sighed again. "I believe father already knew that mother's purpose was for us as much as it is for Tamriel as a whole. That was the impression I got from trying to cheer him up by telling him. Perhaps it does hurt less to know, but if it would make it not hurt at all, I would not be as sad as he was."

[EliteCommander]

"Hmm, maybe he already suspected she was not coming back? But even if he did, having that fact confirmed would still hit me just as hard, were I in his position." Meesei remarked. "Do you think he needs more time? While I would like to speak to him, I do not want to disturb him if you think it would be better that he be left alone."

Meesei took hold of Lunise's hands, looking her firmly in the eyes. "And for that matter, do you need any more time? I doubt either of us can get away from our responsibilities later today, but I would use up a whole crate of welkynd stones to keep this spell going if you needed it."

[Muttonhawk]

The small gesture was enough to turn Lunise to face Meesei. Lunise smiled sadly. "My dearest Meesei, that will not be necessary." She breathed in slowly. "I have wept enough for today. I need to carry on for now, and should I feel the need to weep further, I shall find the time myself."

She peered around in the direction of Pircalmo's office. "As for father, he asked me to go and find you, lest he be branded a poor host. He is brewing some of his special tea as we speak. Though, it may serve prudence if I stepped in first to check."

Lunise grew bold enough as she stood up to bring Meesei into a close and tight hug. She even planted a grateful kiss on her cheek. The moment passed without words from Lunise, emotionally tender as she was that afternoon behind her smiling face.

[EliteCommander]

Meesei began to smile, glancing off towards a cluster of flowers frozen in the midst of a gust of wind. "Yes, I think we have cheated time enough these past few days. Or hours, depending on your perspective. If you do change your mind, though, I will be there for you. I am better at finding time than most." She laughed lightly before stepping back into place and releasing the spell, bringing them back into the regular flow of time.

As the world around them started to move once more, Meesei gave a slow nod to Lunise, who, from an outside perspective, had only just approached. "I take it he is ready, then? I will be right behind you." She remarked. Just as Lunise had suggested, Meesei would wait outside Pircalmo's office for Lunise to give the word to enter.

[Muttonhawk]

Only half a second or so of silence between them gave any hint that Meesei and Lunise had been talking any longer than the recent moment. Lunise picked up the act quickly. "Indeed. The professor will see you now. I hope your wait was not unbearable." She stepped aside to gesture along the path she came.

Given Meesei's slow wandering, the trip back was far faster. Meesei did not have to wait outside the study for longer than a moment before being invited in.

"Ah, there you are," Pircalmo glanced up from the steaming tea he was pouring into three cups. He straightened with the teapot in his hands and gave a welcome and far more calm and collected smile than their prior arrival. "I am so terribly sorry to have made you wait, Meesei. Please, make yourself at home."

Lunise set herself down on one of the seats around the small round table holding the tea set. She gave Meesei a polite, if detached, smile and took up one of the tea cups by the handle.

The room saw a few differences. Meesei noticed that a few loose parchments and books had been cleaned up and a round hat box had appeared atop Pircalmo's writing desk, fuzzy with dust on its top. The less stark but equally impactful difference to her expectations was just how little Pircalmo expressed any trace of the grief Lunise had described. The whole scene was as if the letter only left a small impression, disguised as it all was.

Pircalmo took a seat for himself, but did not reach for his tea yet, likely as it was still burning hot. "Now, how long must it have been since the last time you were in the city here?" He asked. "I sometimes get so absorbed in my work that I lose perspective."

[EliteCommander]

Meesei could not help but to smile, if subtly. She took her tea cup in her hand and blew over its surface before answering. "To be honest, I am not completely certain myself. Time has been quite...fickle for me, especially as of late." It was true that she did not remember the exact amount of time it had been since her last visit, though she was also not quite certain that she even remembered what city they were in. In both visits, she had arrived through a portal in which someone else had given her the destination.

Given how Lunise had described her father, Meesei could see how Pircalmo hid the vast majority of his emotion. She had to admit that he was quite masterful in putting on a facade. Were it not for Lunise, Meesei had to admit that she likely would have been fooled by his act, and she could see where Lunise had developed that particular skill. Before they had began their relationship, and even for a short while in the beginning, Meesei had tended to be left guessing on Lunise's true thoughts on any matter, important or no.

Meesei did not want to come across as accusing Pircalmo of hiding anything, but she did want to at least present the fact that she did not blame him for the emotions he may have been hiding. "Do not worry. I know of the nature of Nytala's relationship to you, not to mention the fact that she is a Psijic mage, and I do not blame you for taking the time to appropriately address whatever it is that letter may have contained. I can only guess that it was important. I can say that I did enjoy the garden; I am someone who does appreciate natural beauty."

[Muttonhawk]

Pircalmo lowered his eyes. He took a moment to look back up and respond. "Your patience is just as appreciated. And I am glad to hear the garden was to your liking." He was back to his usual energy as soon as the subject changed. "I dare say it is a testament to the gardeners that they nurtured such a work of art. Before I began my studies on anatomy, my original interests were in botany. It grants a certain appreciation for the work the gardeners do, even in such different conditions to the plants' native habitats."

"Well, speaking of anatomy," Lunise said before Pircalmo could get set in a ramble, "Meesei has a question regarding Argonians that we believed you might shed some light on, I was unsure. Meesei, how about you share what has been on your mind?"

[EliteCommander]

In all honesty, Meesei felt that this might be an inelegant way to go about bringing up the issue to Pircalmo. Although, in fairness to Lunise, she was not sure there was an elegant way to bring it up. If Meesei wanted to get any actual, useful help from Pircalmo, there were certain truths about herself that would have to be revealed. Otherwise, any information he might give would be flawed.

"Well, I am a restorationist myself, and I am familiar with my own anatomy, of course, but I find myself in a rather unique situation and I feel that I may benefit from an outside perspective. One that does not share the same assumptions that may cloud my judgment." Meesei began. Out of Tamriel's races, Argonians had some of the most unique and, frankly, confusing physiology. Like Khajiit, Argonians could take on different forms, like the large-mouthed Naga, or even massive behemoths, but they were all still Argonian. However, their forms were not always fixed. An Argonian egg, born from one tribe but taken to the Hist tree of another, would be hatched with a body befitting that of the new tribe. To the Hist, their forms were malleable. Adaptable. Argonians were cold blooded, yet they could survive in at least reasonable comfort even in a harsh environment like Skyrim. From many of the writings that Meesei had read, there were not many outsiders who truly understood the actual nature of their existence. Some who had examined Argonian cadavers even remarked that they did not understand how they were even alive in the first place, but that was a question with an answer most Argonians just accepted naturally. The Hist was what shaped them to begin with, and their bodies were intrinsically infused with the Hist's magic. The Hist was the missing piece that most outsiders failed to consider, or at least, failed to understand. An Argonian could be hatched away from the Hist, but it was still an inescapable part of them.

Quietly in her mind, Meesei had to wonder how much Pircalmo had truly learned about her people. Despite his experience, it was still possible that his knowledge was fundamentally flawed. However, Meesei's questions were still worth asking. "The problem I face relates to my body, though it starts with my soul. Nytala was...well, she was kind enough to share with me an unfortunate truth about myself. Do you know of how our souls pass on through death? Instead of some other destination out of Mundus, we return to the Hist. Our essence, our memories, become a part of the Hist until such a time as our souls can be reborn again into a new form. According to Nytala, from the Psijics' understanding...my soul was not reborn into this body as a clean slate, as it were. I have memories, or...templates, as she described them, from potentially thousands of past lives. They are not true memories, I do not believe, as I cannot recall them in the same way as my own memories. However, they are still there deep in my consciousness, just waiting to be...nudged awake by the right inspiration. If I attempt to learn something that one of these past lives once knew, it is more like trying to recall a memory than learning a new concept. It is much easier, and quicker."

[Muttonhawk]

Pircalmo listened carefully and with intense interest. The initial excitement at putting his studies to use was quickly added to by the esoteric and unique nature of Meesei's situation.

Such was the oddness of the scenario that Pircalmo had to hunch in his seat with one arm across to hold his elbow and the other clutching over his chin and mouth. His thoughts lasted a while, though not so long as to convey the need to describe further just yet.

"How curious," he answered. "How utterly, impressively curious. The Hist must have a very particular destiny lined up for you, Meesei, for such a thing to be apparent enough to be noticed."

Lunise interrupted her cup before she could sip from it. "Apparent enough? Is this a normal thing, father?"

"No...well, yes, but not exactly..." He stumbled, before finally gesturing in a circle to focus himself. "You must understand, to speak of how the Hist operates with any continuing confidence is as reliable as knowing the names of the next fifteen leaders of Alinor, but!" He pointed to the ceiling. "Broadly speaking, the features of body and soul that are generally dictated by a mix of chance and lineage in any other creature are heavily skewed by the node of the Hist representing an Argonian...or any similarly souled creature thereof. Argonian souls are only a 'blank slate' starting out in the sense that only the barely necessary aspects are generally imparted during the gestation process. It does not mean there are is no presence of disconnected memories in such souls." Pircalmo leant forward with his elbows on his knees and narrowed his eyes curiously. "But I recall you using the word unfortunate...?"

[EliteCommander]

Meesei gave a single nod, along with letting out a slow breath. "Yes. If that were the end of it, I might be annoyed at the unfair advantage, but I could accept it. There is more to it." She answered. Honestly, she was reasonably surprised that Pircalmo understood her situation as well as he did, though she supposed she should not have doubted Lunise's assessment of her father. She knew better than to think that any of Lunise's personal biases might have prevented her from giving an honest answer.

"According to Nytala, the Psijics do not believe my soul is stable in its current state. True memories or no, a mortal soul was not meant to be created with the experiences of thousands of lifetimes. It is just...too much. In my mortal body, I am kept intact, but Nytala does not believe my being will survive death. My soul may well be torn apart by it. At best, I might be left with no memories nor any of my personality, and that may as well be the same as destruction entirely. That is why I wish to seek help from you, and any expert in esoteric magical subjects that may be even vaguely related. As you might imagine, I take my continued existence too seriously to leave it to chance." Meesei explained. Although she had not called attention to it directly, she expected that Pircalmo would be able to figure out that there was even more going on than he had been told. He had already reasoned that the Hist had a destiny in mind for Meesei, but for the Hist to form one of their own creations in a way that would potentially doom her to destruction implied a destiny of dire importance to the Hist.

[Muttonhawk]

Pircalmo took a moment to process the explanation. He spoke a slow and serious "Right," before lowering his brow and staring at the floor. "I am perhaps not the most knowledgeable person to speak on the nature of souls in general. I do not believe you are lying, but that your situation is even possible is...strange is an understatement. Baffling? That will have to do."

After another while, Pircalmo winced and itched at the back of his head. He stood up and continued thinking out loud as he walked to a bookshelf. "Reincarnation and crafted souls, of course they have happened before, but an amalgam brought together so densely to be unstable?" He pulled out a book and thumbed through it to find a passage. He muttered negatively as he checked each line.

In the middle of his skim reading, Pircalmo turned his head around to Meesei again. "Do you have an inkling as to why you have these memories, Meesei? At the face of it, the Hist are putting them at the risk of being lost forever along with you – who are a part of the Hist."

[EliteCommander]

Without approval from Lunise, Meesei did not want to share any more about her situation than was needed for Pircalmo to help her. She was not sure if Lunise wanted her father to know about the work they were doing to fight against Vile, but at the very least, Meesei was sure that Pircalmo would be accustomed to the restrictions and secrecy that came with being a Justiciar. There could be dire consequences for sharing restricted information, and she doubted that Pircalmo would want his daughter taking that risk. With Meesei at the very least being associated with Lunise, that risk could also reasonably extend to her in Pircalmo's mind.

"As you said, the Hist certainly has a destiny in mind for me. One of importance to them that requires me to be capable." Meesei answered vaguely before shifting back to the subject at hand. "Lunise did inform me that you do not have as extensive of expertise in matters of souls, but I still have a suspicion that your knowledge of the physical body may be helpful. My soul is clearly kept stable in this body, and I find myself curious on what exact properties of a physical body, or even my specific body, would keep a soul together. Perhaps there is a chance that I might use that knowledge to protect me beyond death? In truth, I am not sure that it is likely, but I am sure that you can understand why I would want to explore all of my options."

[Muttonhawk]

Pircalmo went quickly back to his books while Meesei spoke, though his immediate response at least indicated he was still listening. "What you speak of, Meesei, is corporeal studies. The principals are less restrictive than you might think -- a soul can be made stable by even the most impossible bodies. You might have heard of the metal creatures the Dwemer constructed. Those are both powered by and, to a limited extent, operated by the agency of a soul trapped in a soul gem. Unfortunately, the secrets of how to do such things were lost when the Dwemer vanished."

He put aside one book with a page open on his desk and went for another one.

"The closest anyone has gotten to performing something similar is to make oneself into a lich, but much like the first option, it has the side effect of denying an afterlife rather than going into one without...one's soul collapsing." He quickly turned around. "Can you tell me about this purpose more specifically?"

Lunise finally butted in. "I am afraid that is sensitive information, father. Besides, I think Meesei is more interested in how a soul is kept stable by a body than the methods right now."

"Oh, I am aware," he waved Lunise off without looking up from his next book. "Aha! This may shed some light." He pointed to the page. "This is a research report on corporeal materials from the second era. The author tested many different materials and found gem souls could adhere to just about anything in a temporary fashion. However, without an enchantment binding the soul to divest itself, it eventually dissipated on its own. There is something about living bodies that provides a similar binding on its own, facilitating ease of animating corpses for utility."

[EliteCommander]

Meesei followed Pircalmo's explanations closely, as well as reading through the section of the book he pointed out. She had not been too optimistic about finding useful help for her issue before, and even now, it was not as if she had been given the answer to her woes outright. However, Pircalmo's ideas were actually surprisingly encouraging for Meesei. She realized now that she had been approaching the problem from too narrow of a point of view. She had been focusing too much on how she might re-create the effect her own, living body had on her soul, but there were other approaches. She might have come to that conclusion on her own eventually, perhaps, but his perspective had opened up that option for her sooner.

"This is...interesting. I am not sure if anyone knows the precise metaphysical mechanism that allows a normal living body to so easily bind to a soul, but we might not need to." Meesei remarked. "What you said about Dwemer constructs and soul gems, I had not been thinking about that. I have been concentrating too much on trying to find ways for my soul to exist on its own, but that may be the wrong approach. Maybe...maybe I just need to find some other way to bind it. I know of multiple ways to keep this body from aging, but that would only buy me time. Even if nothing kills me, the world itself may eventually come to an end, and I would still be destroyed along with it. No, I need something that would still allow me an afterlife. Maybe...bind my soul directly to the Hist somehow? Or some part of myself that is connected to the Hist? I am not sure if that would keep my memories intact, and I am not sure if...another part of me might interfere."

Giving a soft sigh, Meesei turned her attention towards Lunise. "It may not be possible to keep all of my secrets, Lunise. If we want your father to truly be able to help, he may need to know about everything that is bound to my body."

[Muttonhawk]

Lunise thought to herself for a moment. It took her a few seconds to come to a conclusion. When she did, Pircalmo revealed himself to be distracted by Meesei's mention of extending her life. He turned his eyes to Lunise with his brow low, unsure.

"Father," Lunise said. "I cannot share every detail about Meesei with you. However, I might share one important detail that may prove pivotal. If you would hear it, it would be with the understanding that it must be kept in utmost confidence, even to other Thalmor justicars, or anyone of higher rank. This will be most important for your personal safety, which I would not risk lightly. Are you prepared to keep that secret?"

Pircalmo clapped his book shut and puffed out his chest just enough to brace himself. "Of course I am prepared. I would not let something so significant to my field slip away without my knowing the circumstances, should I have the power."

Lunise tightened her lips, but did not hesitate longer. "Meesei is a lycanthrope."

While Pircalmo's chin lifted halfway up as if suspended partway through an understanding nod, he did not level his face with any sort of confidence. "Ah," he said, not expecting the answer. "Now that is where my expertise runs into...limits? Though, I do have one book that may be relevant that I have not got around to reading..." He raised his fingers and danced their tips along his bookshelf, eventually fishing out a book bound in green-dyed leather. "This was written by an anonymous author from Thorn, as it happens. It was only published within the last year or so, but the academic community is touting it as the most complete treatise on lycanthropy ever written. There are other sources that corroborate its findings, in pieces, but nothing has been this comprehensive before." He held it out to Meesei. "You may borrow it, if you wish."

Whether or not the book was taken, Pircalmo returned to his chair with his other book and put it aside, opened up to some other page. "As for binding yourself to the Hist, I would imagine that is already the case with your Argonian nature." He gestured and held his fingertips together in front of him. "The few cases where -- admittedly less than ethical -- researchers have endeavoured to sever the connection completely only resulted in-" he breathed in "-all subjects deceased within a matter of hours."

[EliteCommander]

Even in the midst of such a serious and important conversation, Meesei gave a subtle smile as she started to thumb through the pages of the book Pircalmo gave her, looking for anything that stood out to her. "Hmm, Thorn? Is that so? Well, I will certainly not turn down any potential source of information. I will say that my clan has studied our condition extensively, though...this does remind me of one individual who has more knowledge of lycan souls, specifically, than anyone else I have met, and perhaps in all of Tamriel. Someone I may need to speak to soon, I think."

Meesei gave a slow, somewhat somber nod. In Apocrypha, she had obtained Ayleid research notes on some rather cruel experiments performed by the Wild Elves on some of their Argonian slaves, so she was familiar with what Pircalmo referred to. Ironically, it gave Meesei more insight into the nature of her own being than she would have otherwise, even with her knowledge of restoration. "As a Saxhleel, my connection to the Hist is certainly, fundamentally strong, but not insurmountable. Lycanthropy draws me closer to Hircine, for instance. What I wonder is if I could more intentionally and directly bind my soul to the Hist? Or any other entity, for that matter. If my soul would be torn apart if not bound to something, then perhaps it is as simple as binding my soul to something other than this body? something more...permanent. Although, I cannot think of a way of doing so without ending my life. It might be that I will be forced to choose when I die, and I do not know if the Daedric wolf spirit I am also bound to would interfere with such an effort. That bond is also not insurmountable, granted. I do know how to cure lycanthropy and separate the beast from the soul, but it may still be a complication."

Meesei's mind was practically buzzing with questions and uncertainty, and she did not expect that Pircalmo had an answer to most of it. Certainly, her problem was a difficult one to even begin to address without the sort of lengthy, detailed research that Meesei may well not have time to carry out. She knew that she could not and should not expect any one person to have the whole answer. "I do realize that I have been asking you questions that fall outside your expertise, but I do thank you for your efforts to help. I know it may not seem like it, but you have helped already. I do feel like I have some...direction, now. Any ideas you still might have, even if you are not sure they are pertinent, I would be glad to hear. But, you do not need to worry if you cannot think of anything else. I am already grateful."

While Meesei did force herself to smile, it was at least convincing. "And this need not be an entirely one-way conversation. I did not come here expecting all of the answers, and I do feel it would be somewhat rude of me to come to you expecting something for nothing. At the very least, I do want to return the courtesy you have shown me. Knowing you are a scholar, I do have to wonder if there is any knowledge I possess that would be helpful to you? If you are curious about the Saxhleel, I was once a Treeminder, early in my life. And now...well, I am sure you can imagine by my unique situation that I have had many unique experiences."

[Muttonhawk]

Pircalmo's eyes lit up. "I could not turn down the answers of a treeminder if I tried, Meesei! Oh, I dare say there are many missing pieces in my notes pertaining to that. If you would give me just a moment..." He swiftly opened a cabinet and began rifling through loose parchment sheets.

"Er, father?" Lunise raised a finger. "Might we defer a full interview to another time? Meesei and I have some extremely important business to attend to today. At the very least, you should have time to prepare."

[EliteCommander]

Meesei grinned towards Lunise. In truth, Pircalmo had reacted pretty much exactly as she had expected. While he was looking for parchment, she closed up and took the book he had given her, deciding to take him up on his offer to borrow it. Pircalmo had already helped her more than she had expected, and being that he was Lunise's father, she did fill the need to repay that gesture. She did understand Lunise's concerns, but she did feel that she could spare at least some time. "We can spare at least a few minutes I would say, Lunise. If Nytala sent us back at the proper time, then we still should have hours before we are expected."

Despite Meesei's own assurances, she did give a reluctant sigh as she returned her attention to Pircalmo. "Although, Lunise is also not incorrect. Nytala gave us both a great deal to think about, and much to do in a short time. I expect that I am going to be getting in touch with many contacts and calling in many favors over the next few days."