[IC] Call of the Hunt [EliteCommander and Muttonhawk]

[Muttonhawk]

Janius' eyes were drawn to the campsite as Kaleeth's were and his face became more neutral. "Hm, I didn't expect them so early," he commented, before looking to Kaleeth again, "Very well, I'll have a think and we can resume after the hunt. Hopefully we won't be too drained by the end of it."

Now that instruction was over for now, Janius could relax his demeanour and be more affectionate with Kaleeth. He slid his axe through its belt loop and put his arm around her shoulder as they began to walk.

Never in all the time that she had known her had Ariel seen Ahnasha in such a state of quiet terror. No wonder Sabine was so concerned for them. Even Fendros was looking off to the side with a saddened expression. No doubt he was just as affected. Ariel couldn't begin to imagine what that kind of experience would be like, but she was still open mouthed and wide eyed with empathetic sadness such that she was paralysed for a good, long moment. "Ahnasha, Fendros, I'm...I don't know what to say," Ariel managed to say softly.

Fendros looked up at her, his face unchanging. "Can you help us?"

Ariel blinked and breathed in a short gasp, realising that they had requested a remedy. Her eyes began to dart around and she closed her mouth to swallow. "Er, well, I...dreams are sometimes difficult." She crossed her arms, then brought a hand to her mouth as her mind quickened, "Memory is certainly possible to influence, but it can get dangerous to tamper with. You might forget some more important things as well." Ariel's speech trailed off nearly to a murmur, as if she was less explaining than thinking out loud, "However difficult dreams might be, if may be possible to suppress them. I'm not sure if lycan blood might change the process, so there won't be guarantees, but...hmm...perhaps if I...yes...yes! That could...maybe, but it's an avenue to travel. Alright," Ariel's voice regained its volume and confidence, "I can try and make something to stop, or at least shorten your dreams, but I will need samples of each of your bloods to make sure that lycan beast blood won't cause any unforeseen effects. I should be able to get it done before dinner."

Fendros shoulders lowered as he exhaled. He smiled as if a weight had been lifted from his back. "Thank you, Ariel. I understand that such an order would impact your business. We can pay if you-"

"-Ahpupup," Ariel interrupted by raising her finger, then squat down and put a hand on one each of Fendros and Ahnasha's shoulders. She looked each of them in the eyes with an uncompromising frown on her face. "You are my friends and you are clearly in need of help. You helped to give me a new life, it's only fair that I help yours, if only for a while. My only price is a promise, one promise, okay? Listen carefully:" Ariel's tone was very removed from her usual giggling and smiling nature, it had a professional level to it that spoke of experience, "I have made remedies for wounds of the mind before and the most important detail to note is that this remedy I'm going to make is, and will only ever be a temporary measure. It will not heal your minds, it will only provide relief. However, what it can help with is providing space for you to take other actions to heal your minds. The promise I want you to make me is that, while you take this remedy, you will not avoid your memories, instead you will search for a way to help yourselves cope with your memories so that when the remedy runs out, you won't have to be afraid of them anymore." Ariel broke her stare, "I unfortunately am not an expert in such things, but I know exactly how far my remedies could take you, and it will not be enough on their own." She looked at them both again, "I will be difficult, but can you promise me that much?"

[EliteCommander]

Ahnasha looked away from Ariel and stared straight ahead. Such a promise seemed easy to make, as it was something both she and Fendros wanted. To come to terms with her memories would be wonderful, but she had no idea how to begin to solve such an issue. It wasn't like a physical wound that could be healed with time or magic; it was far deeper, and far more sinister. "I...can promise we will try. I don't want to feel this pain anymore, but I don't know how to deal with it. We did not have time to attempt the same ritual as Sabine, and I have no idea who else can help. I know people have experienced trauma like this before, and I know some have overcome it, so it is possible, it's just...I can't promise we will succeed. I can promise I will do everything I can to bring us back to normal, back to the way we were before, but I can't promise success."

Ahnasha spoke honestly and openly, though she hated showing such weakness. A glance over to the rest of the camp revealed that Lorag and Meesei were staring to awaken, and Janius and Kaleeth were returning to the camp. It likely would not be long before Meesei sent them on their hunt. Meesei herself would likely be staying behind to take care of Rhazii, as her ring allowed her to stay in control regardless of how long she went without turning.

Once back in camp, Kaleeth went to drop off her belongings at her bedroll, which was close enough to Ariel and the others near the edge of camp that she could comfortably speak to them. "Good morning." She said cheerfully. "We are probably going to go on our hunt soon. You traveled with them for a while didn't you, Ariel? Did you ever help with any of their hunts?" She asked as she removed her armor in preparation for the hunt, unaware of their prior conversation.

[Muttonhawk]

Once Ahnasha had responded, Fendros gave his own words, however brief. "Neither of us know where to start, but we will search nonetheless," Fendros' voice wasn't exactly hopeful, but they had to latch on to whatever they could.

"That's good enough for me. I just needed to know that you would take advantage of the time given to you." Ariel's serious expression turned into a sad smile again and she brought both Ahnasha and Fendros into a quick hug. Once she pulled away, she looked over her shoulder, "Sabine?"

Sabine looked up receptively from organising her new equipment.

"Could you fetch me two small vials and a knife?"

There was a quick nod from Sabine and they were quickly brought two vials closed with corked stoppers and one of the pack's iron daggers. Ariel found a small length of string to tie around the neck of one vial, then handed them both with the dagger to Fendros and Ahnasha. "I'll only need you to fill those about halfway. Keep your blood separated, and remember who's is who's with the string."

By this point, the pack was gathered and Lorag and Meesei had stirred. While Fendros ran a small cut down his palm and began to slowly bleed into the vial, Ariel's attention was diverted by Kaleeth-Rei. "Ah, good morning you two," Ariel said, standing up and smiling in equal cheer. The question on hunting made Ariel chuckle to herself before answering. "I was never a good hunter, Kaleeth. I didn't end up on any hunts and I probably would have hindered more than helped. No, I focussed on gathering ingredients where I could and helping Sabine make medicine for Ahnasha. Truthfully, I wish I could have helped more, but I suppose that's why they dropped me off here as quick as they could!" Ariel gave a quick laugh to confirm her sarcasm. Ariel turned to where Meesei and Lorag were sitting up and addressed them, "And good morning to you as well, Lorag, Meesei. Sorry if we were a bit early, Meesei. We didn't know when the hunt would begin."

"You weren't too far off, considering," Janius remarked while unfastening his own equipment.

Ariel nodded to Janius, "I guess." Ariel suddenly looked up to Meesei with some realisation, "Um, one more thing before you set off, Meesei. I had a talk with Rukee yesterday, it turns out the advice I received was correct, but anyway, he's proposed that we might all catch up at the Wamasu's Nest tonight for dinner. I explained that you don't have much spare gold and we discussed the possibility of perhaps doing something similar to last night, but this time where you might bring some meats to cook over the fire in the inn. I understand if you had other things planned, but we thought it might be nice. What do you think?" As Ariel talked, Sabine had also approached as some point and seemed to be displaying quiet support for having everyone together for dinner again.

[EliteCommander]

Meesei had not been awake long before she noticed Ariel. The next thing she noticed was, of course, the fact that Ahnasha and Fendros were draining some of their blood into vials. She did not know why she needed it, but knowing Ariel, it was likely for something alchemical. Lycan blood certainly had its interesting properties, the most dangerous of which being its tendency to infect others with the gift of beast blood. She trusted that whatever she was doing with it was well-intentioned, but she wanted to know nonetheless.

"Well, we may as well get the hunt out of the way while we can, so it is good that you arrived so soon." Meesei commented. "As for dinner, I would love to join. Unless something prevents us from coming, I will make sure to be there before sunset. I recall that Rukeewei was quite the friendly person, so it should make for a great evening. I...do have a question, though, but not about the dinner. I trust you, of course, but...why is it you are collecting Ahnasha and Fendros' blood?""

Kaleeth had been focused on unstrapping her armor as Ariel answered her, so she did not notice that she was taking samples of blood at first. As soon as she was out of the armor, her eagerness to begin the hunt prompted her to begin her transformation early. Fortunately, their camp was far enough from the city that there was little danger of detection. As she shifted into her werecrocodile form, she managed to suppress her beast spirit's usual satisfied roar upon being released, though it still gave off a low rumble. After stretching out the significantly stronger muscles of her new form, she finally took note of the blood Ahnasha and Fendros were drawing once Meesei mentioned it. Kaleeth was still not entirely informed on the properties of lycan blood, so she looked down at Ariel curiously with head tilted to the side, as she was still unable to form words correctly in this form.

[Muttonhawk]

Ariel smiled to hear that dinner would be going ahead, but her mouth changed to a frown just as quickly when Meesei asked about the lycan blood. "Oh, that is for some medicine that they have asked me to make. I need some of their blood to test and make sure that my recipe will work on lycans, and alter it if appropriate." Ariel was about to explain further when she was interrupted by a set of gruesome sounds behind her. She turned around slowly to behold Kaleeth transforming already, but something was different compared to when the others transformed. Kaleeth didn't grow any fur, and the shape of her head and hail was different. As the transformation continued, Ariel took a couple of steps back involuntarily and widened her eyes as Kaleeth grew larger than any lycan Ariel had ever seen. Ariel struggled to find words, "W-we-we...were...crocodile?"

"Indeed," Janius said casually while pulling off his greaves, "Didn't we mention that Kaleeth was a werecrocodile?"

Ariel kept her eyes locked on Kaleeth's bulk. "I've never seen one before," Ariel mentioned, laughing nervously, "that is fascinating."

Fendros had noticed Meesei's inquiry and waited a few moments longer to finish filling his vial, before collecting Ahnasha's and getting up to walk over to Ariel. As Fendros passed the vials to Ariel, she was snapped out of her fascination and gratefully stowed the blood away in her purse, nodding in thanks. Fendros then turned to Meesei and spoke quietly, "It's okay, Meesei. It's..." Fendros considered his answer, "It's to help us sleep a bit better."

At this point Sabine was part-way through transforming and Janius was just about to begin. Before he began, however, Janius had one last question for Meesei. "Shall we allow Kaleeth to hunt on her own again? Or should I keep track of her while we're this close to the city?" As Kaleeth's hunting patterns were different to werewolves, she and Janius often had to hunt independently of each other. During training her control, Janius had to keep a close watch on Kaleeth to make sure she didn't go astray, but they couldn't work together on hunts very effectively. Lately, however, Kaleeth had been displaying improvement such that Janius trusted her to hunt alone at times if she needed to, but the risk was reduced in the inner-swamp.

[EliteCommander]

Meesei said no more about the blood sample once Fendros gave his short explanation, as she understood his meaning. As much as Ahnasha had been trying to hide it, Meesei could tell something had changed about her since the events with the cult. Perhaps she did not know the extent of her mental scarring, but she knew it was there. It was a difficult topic for Meesei to approach, but at least it seemed that they were finally getting help in some form.

Though much less sensitive than the situation with Ahnasha and Fendros, Janius' question still gave her pause to think. While the obvious answer would be to allow her to do what was instinctual for her beast spirit, that might not necessarily be the best option for their situation. Werecrocodiles tended to be independent, but Kaleeth needed to be able to cooperate with others, even in her beast form. "She should join the rest of you. It might be more comfortable for her to hunt on her own, but she is going to need to break away from her beast spirit's independence eventually. Instinct is a large part of what drives our beast forms, but it is not everything. Practice can change even strong habits."

Meesei approached Ahnasha and gave her a silent, understanding nod as she took Rhazii from her so she could transform herself. "As usual, you have the lead, Lorag." She said as the others were shifting around her. "I will remain here to watch Rhazii and Leaps."

[Muttonhawk]

So it might end up being a different experience for the both of them, but Janius was willing to see how Kaleeth would handle a group hunt. "Very well," he said, looking to Kaleeth and then to Ariel, "We will see you later, then." He gave a friendly smile before he closed his eyes and began to change forms.

Ariel returned the smile and nodded, but still turned away from what was still an admittedly disturbing site to see, even if she knew that it was what the pack was used to. Sabine was waiting patiently, but was already licking her lips and nose noisily in anticipation. As soon as Ariel opened her mouth to say farewell properly, Sabine sauntered up to her and placed a clawed hand on her shoulder like a dog asking for attention. At this point, Sabine was slightly taller than Ariel, so Ariel was at first a bit nervous with the contact, but soon relaxed and rubbed Sabine under the chin, thinking it an appropriate thing to do. Sabine gave off something between a growl and a whine, but did not protest. Ariel laughed, "I see your just as changed in this form as well. I will see you later, Sabine. Enjoy the hunt." Ariel looked to everyone else briefly, "And the rest of you, too. I will see you tonight!"

To one side, Fendros had already walked back to Ahnasha and helped her to her feet. They were only a few garments from being ready to transform and there was no time to waste. Before they began, however, Fendros took Ahnasha by the cheek and murmured to her one last thing, "Perhaps this hunt will put us in a better mood," he leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss, "And I'm glad that we got help. I think this will be worth it."

As everyone began to change around her, Ariel stepped off to the side, but stood her ground until everyone was on their way. She intended to have a quick word with Meesei before she went off to begin brewing the dream medicine.

[EliteCommander]

Once everyone else was in their beast forms, Lorag took the lead as they moved off of the beach and into the swamp. They would keep up a good pace at first, as they did not wish to hunt too close to the city, but they would move in their usual cautious manner once they were sufficiently far away. For Kaleeth, her enthusiasm for the hunt motivated her to run as quickly as she could, which was still slow enough that the others had to slow down so she could somewhat keep up. As much as she wanted to hunt with the others, the fact that she was now a lumbering behemoth was not doing her any favors.

As the others left, Meesei noticed that Ariel remained. Rhazii was hungry for attention, so she had to keep much of her focus on him, but she assumed Ariel would quickly start with what she had to say. Meesei looked down and smiled at Rhazii, which allowed him to reach up and smack the end of her snout repeatedly. Meesei laughed, finding that, at least for moments like this, she did no quite mind taking care of him. There were of course plenty of more unsavory moments, but she was accustomed to those from her time helping others in her village care for their hatchlings.

[Muttonhawk]

The hunt started as almost everyone in the pack bolted off in one direction, kicking up a some dirt and creating a short breeze of air. Ariel watched them leave and disappear, and then walked over to Meesei. Rhazii's innocence didn't fail to bring a wide smile to Ariel's face, but the topic at hand was still serious. "Meesei, I'm not sure if Ahnasha and Fendros have mentioned their problems to you, and I am going to leave it to them to fill you in on the...details, but I would just like to mention that with the medicine I am making for them, while they take that medicine will probably be the most ideal time for them to sort their problems out. Even though I know these medicines and what they can do, I am not a healer of the mind. The medicine cannot help them forever." Ariel took a slow breath, "As you are their leader, I just wanted you to be aware."

Rhazii's attention was momentarily drawn by Ariel's voice and he reached out to touch her own face. Ariel compromised by holding out a finger for him to grasp. Even with the injuries he had sustained, his hold was strong for a child his size. Ariel smiled once again. Rhazii was lucky to be too young to understand his parent's pain at this point.

Just about everyone in the pack slowed their pace for Kaleeth, but for the most part they were focussed completely on picking up the scent of potential prey. It was difficult enough to resist going straight for the smells that were unmistakably coming from the city until they reminded themselves and their beasts spirits of the danger in such an action. Janius, on the other hand, kept checking on Kaleeth to make sure she was still following. Perhaps he was still a little apprehensive about having her along.

[EliteCommander]

Meesei's expression became serious, even as Rhazii was blissfully giggling in her arms. "I know, I have seen the changes over the past few months, but it is not something I can simply...approach them about. Ahnasha is, well, a prideful individual. Not only does she value her strength, but also how others view her strength. Her mental state is delicate, and I fear that knowing her suffering isn't hidden could cause her undue embarrassment and mental stress. None of us would ever think less of her after what she went through, but an injured mind does not always think rationally. Fendros I may be able to speak to, but Ahnasha will have to be handled carefully. Perhaps your medicine will make it easier, though I request that you give Sabine a recipe if possible. She will no doubt run out while aboard the ship, so I may not be able to help her as much then, but...maybe after this business in Cyrodiil is over, we can find a way to get her the help she needs."

Meesei closed her eyes a moment and let out a sigh. "Hopefully, your medicine will help give some sort of treatment, at least. I wish I could join you back to the city, but someone needs to stay and watch our camp. I suppose you do not have time to stay here and talk?"

[Muttonhawk]

Ariel tightened one corner of her mouth and thought about it. "I will give a recipe to Sabine, but the ingredients are not simple to find. They will have to be bought from shops, most likely. My batch ought to last at least to Leyawiin, however. The dosage is small. As for having a talk, I can perhaps stay for a short while, but I will have to get started on the medicine promptly." Ariel looked up from Rhazii to Meesei, "Was there something in particular?"

Ariel motioned for them both to be seated. She wanted to help however she could, and honestly she wished she knew more about how to deal with Ahnasha and Fendros' trauma. If she had known that much, then perhaps she would have been able to help Sabine earlier, but that was in the past.

[EliteCommander]

Meesei sat down by the fire and allowed Rhazii to sit in her lap, though he seemed notably uncomfortable until he could turn himself away from the flames. "Oh, there is nothing specific. I was just hoping to pass the time until the others return, so you can leave whenever you need to. Perhaps I will take Rhazii and Leaps down to the water again. He seemed to enjoy it yesterday. "

Since Ariel seemed to be staying for the moment, Meesei decided to enjoy some conversation while she could. "I'm sure you already noticed when she stayed with you last night, but Sabine has improved greatly since her ritual. She still tends to be a bit quiet at times, but I think that is just in her nature. One of the most encouraging things I have noticed about her is her curiosity. It is as if she is making up for years of lost time with her new inquisitive nature. I have actually begun giving her lessons in magic, though it is more out of necessity than anything. She needs a way to defend herself reliably that doesn't rely on her beast spirit. We have only started relatively recently, but I think she will enjoy it. You both were instructed in magic during your time with the coven, weren't you?"

[Muttonhawk]

Having witnessed Sabine's curiosity first hand, Ariel gave a small laugh at its mention. As for magical training, Ariel nodded to Meesei's question, but had to stare into the fire and think about what Sabine had done. "We were both trained, well, starting to, I had some years ahead of her," Ariel answered slowly, then going to a normal pace as she continued. "From what I remember, the magic was both for self-defence and to supplement our understanding of alchemy. I quite enjoyed learning about it, but I don't think Sabine was quite as receptive when she started." Ariel tilted her head and looked at Meesei, moving her open palm around as she spoke, "I don't think it was because she was incapable, or lazy, I think it was simply because she wasn't fond of our instructor. Heh, to be honest, I didn't like her much either. She was the best witch in the coven with magic who wasn't too busy to teach, but she was not a very effective teacher, and very impatient." Ariel brought her hands together, "On more than one occasion, Sabine sneaked off to do more experimenting with her ingredients."

Ariel caught herself smiling while reminiscing. Even if the coven had changed and was now a world away, there were still fond memories. "How has Sabine taken to magic? Does she have a talent for any particular areas? Or..." Ariel interrupted her question, "...I suppose you would be taking a more holistic approach, if what you told me about your views of it were any indication."

[EliteCommander]

Ariel's description of Sabine's magical instruction made sense, given what she had observed so far in trying to teach her. Sabine was picking up on the basics quickly, likely because she had been through them once before and needed only to be reminded. It was hard to say what pace she would settle into once they started covering unfamiliar topics, but if she was interested enough, they could move quickly.

"It is hard to say so early on where her talent might lie. I did not learn using the schools of magic, so you are correct in that I am not using them to teach either. It has not been long, so we are starting with the basics that apply to almost all forms of magic. Once we get into spells themselves, I will likely be starting with practical forms of magic for self-defense, but I am hoping she becomes interested enough to explore its deeper mysteries. I have heard that an understanding of magic can complement an understanding of alchemy, since the root...mechanisms, you might say, are actually quite similar. Alchemy simply uses the magical properties of an ingredient instead of the mage. That might inspire her interest, but even if it does not, i am glad to teach her even just the practical spells." Meesei explained.

Meesei paused a moment and looked out across horizon over the ocean. Closing her eyes for a moment, she took in a deep, relaxed breath and began to smile lightly. "This really is a beautiful place, isn't it? I have seen the ocean before, but it has been quite a long time. I suppose Vos was on the coast as well, so you might be used to the sea, but...I just hope you enjoy your life here. I realize it isn't all ideal, but you are a talented person, and I think you will make the most of it." She commented, giving a smile as she switched to her native tongue. "And you have improved significantly with your Jel, haven't you?"

[Muttonhawk]

Ariel took a pause to get herself in the mindset for speaking Jel before giving a reply. "You could say so. I am able to hold conversation much better, but even now I make mistakes with pronouncing and grammar. I am always learning new words, though. Having Rukeewei for practice and help was a great thing as well." Ariel silently congratulated herself for getting that much right, "Also, having someone to speak Cyrodilic with when Jel got tiring was nice. He says that if I remain for another year, my accent will start to fade, but I get more..." Ariel licked her lips and dredged through her vocabulary. She knew this one, "...fascinated...I get more fascinated when I have dreams where I speak Jel with people."

"Meesei," Ariel continued in Jel, leaning her chin on her hand, "I know that you and the others say that life here is not ideal, but I want you to know that it is still more than I could have dreamed of without everyone's help. I love this city, I love my life, I love my new friends and my work, and...I never would have met Rukee without coming here." Ariel shifted and looked rather dumbfounded, "I'm still speaking Jel, aren't I?" She held her head back and let forth a peel of amused laughter, her hand moving to her forehead. "Azura's light! It seems so long since I've spoken Cyrodilic at such length. I'm starting to really go native!" Ariel recovered and asked Meesei another question, "Did you go through similar experiences in learning Cyrodilic from Jel?"

[EliteCommander]

Meesei smiled and nodded. "Yes, as I am sure you know, the two languages are worlds apart. They formed and developed completely independently from one another. I think there have been some very limited influences in some Jel dialects from Cyrodilic due to past Imperial occupation, but it is largely its own entity. Going in the other direction, from Jel to Cyrodilic, is just as difficult. Luckily, as I was to become Treeminder, I started learning it from a young age, so it was a bit easier for me. Even so, I did have some issues at first when I actually moved to Cyrodiil. My accent was much thicker then, and, as you can tell, it still is not gone entirely. It is perhaps not as exotic as a Breton speaking Jel with a Dunmeri accent...but I do not think the others mind."

Rhazii started to shift around in Meesei's arms as he lost interest in Meesei's hands, so she paused a moment to find something else to occupy him. After a few moments, she decided to turn him towards the ocean so he could watch the waves crashing against the shore, which seemed to adequately satisfy him. "Anyway, it is a great relief knowing you hare happy here. I will admit that there were many times since we left Thorn where I found myself worrying about how you were faring. But this is a city with a lot of wealth, and I think you will be able to earn your share. You have even found someone to call a mate." "Meesei said as she started to grin. "Speaking of which, how far has your relationship...developed?"

[Muttonhawk]

As if to try and play off the blush that spread over her face, Ariel smiled widely and looked out to the sea. There were a few quiet seconds where she just sat and stared, obviously lost in her thoughts. Eventually, she opened her mouth and breathed in to speak. "At first, I wasn't quite sure about Rukee and I. On one hand, he was Argonian, why would he be interested in me, and me him. On the other hand, if Fendros and Ahnasha were any indication, race was really nothing." Ariel slowly breathed in and out through her nose, "Starting off, I was just along for the ride. We got to know one another better, and I really admired the way him and his brother handled their own business, I liked his personality, he was clever, gentle, helpful, and nice to talk to," A chuckle escaped Ariel's nose, "And even then, for all his confidence, he has his weaknesses."

As she continued, Ariel's mirth began to descend, though not worryingly, "Then I started thinking about him a lot, we saw each other more, and...then, well, we both had the rush of business that caused the little argument." Ariel's wistfulness seemed to yield to her consciousness for a short moment, looking to Meesei, "I am glad that we sorted that out, it's just..." Ariel's tone began to get a little uncomfortable, "I think I love him, but I'd like him to...well it seems silly, but I'd like him to tell me whether he loves me." Ariel nervously fiddled with the hair behind her ear, looking down, "I mean, I don't really doubt that he does, we've been close for a while now, and there's no reason to be so cynical. But, I just want to hear my own feelings being...reciprocated. Does that make sense?" Ariel's eyes flitted up to Meesei, then down again, looking a little disappointed. "He's probably just nervous underneath, I can't fault him for that."

[EliteCommander]

Meesei smiled and gave a slight chuckle. "You remind me of some of the relationships I had back in my village. Being the apprentice of the Treeminder, I always felt sort of...apart from most of the others my age. Very early in my life, I did not have many friends and was often quite nervous talking to others. As I got older, that started to go away, but not entirely. As the prospective Treeminder, I attracted the interest of a few of the boys my age. In the years before I actually became the Treeminder, I found myself in a few relationships. You cannot imagine how many times I went through the same mental dialogue as you just described. Although, to be honest, I was far worse. I recall one instance where I was going to meet my prospective mate for a dinner, but he did not arrive. I spent hours worrying about what was wrong with me that he would abandon me. I shifted between sadness, anger towards myself, anger towards him, and was scarcely able to sleep. It did not stop until I figured out the next day that he had simply injured his leg during a hunt and spent the evening with the healer."

Meesei had to laugh at the foolishness of her younger self. She did not blame herself too strongly, as her anxiety had been the result of her non-social upbringing, but they were lessons she had learned from nonetheless. Her present confidence would not exist without the past experience of her awkward, nervous youth. "Anyway, I suppose the point of the story is that you should not let yourself become overcome with fear. Do not try to rush your relationship, or force it to progress too slowly, just...pay attention to how it is progressing at the moment. If you really want to say something to him, you might try paying attention to the things you do when you are having that mental argument about his feelings. You might find him doing the very same things. Who knows? If you continue with him long enough, you might find him offering you a fine amethyst ring."

[Muttonhawk]

Meesei's recount established a warm empathy in Ariel's mind. For all the presence and wisdom that Meesei had, she used to be a beginner in all this as well. It made her a little more relatable. Her advice of course made plenty of common sense, but up until then, Ariel's anxiety had been clouding such conclusions. She felt as though she could relax now.

Mention of an amethyst ring confused Meesei at first. She looked at Meesei and was about to ask her about it when she realised where she had seen such rings before. Neercana-rei always wore one, as did Hides-In-Trees, and any other married Argonian she had come across. She deduced that such jewellery was traditional in some way for their abundance, but that it was associated with marriage was only a suspicion at this point. "That would be nice," Ariel said after her revelation.

A moment passed where Ariel sat and fantasised about what being married to Rukeewei would be like, and marriage in general, but she snapped herself out of it before the silence dominated. "So, how goes relationships with you, Meesei? I know you travel around a lot, but have you had any interests lately?"

[EliteCommander]

Meesei shifted somewhat uncomfortably. The question Ariel posed was one that she had found herself thinking about quite a lot, but the conclusions she always came to were not quite comforting. As she had once explained to Janius, forming a relationship of that nature was not something that was an option to her, but she did care about it a fair amount more than she had let on. "Um, well, no. As you said, I travel quite a lot, so the only people I can really know on a personal level are those in the pack. I do not think about any of them in such a way, and even if I dd, it would not be right of me to pursue such a relationship. True, there are some that might disagree with me. Like the packs of actual wolves, some werewolf packs might have alphas to become mates with the strongest member of their pack, but I do not agree with such an approach. I feel it is too...animalistic. Some simply form relationships based on personal attachments, which I would suppose is acceptable. For me, however, even though I try to be a friend before anything else to them...there is still the matter of the authority I have. Having that authority in a relationship like that would be far too...complicated in my mind."

Meesei considered stopping there, but there was another part of the situation, something that bothered her considerably to think about. Since Ariel was not a member of her pack, she decided that speaking with her might be a good way to vent her own concerns, and perhaps come to terms with them. "That isn't to say I do not desire a relationship, but I do not believe it will ever be an option for me. Considering my role among lycans, there will always be the issue of authority to contend with. If I am to remain an effective leader, I will likely need to refrain from pursuing such attachments."