Astonishingly Handsome Man Seeks RP Partners, Has Grossly Exacting Standards, Doesn't Even Say "Hi" First

[pugbutter]

The Prophecy says that only the Chosen One finds this secret message the first time he reads this Int-Chk.

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About Me (Only Occasionally an Asshole)

• I get right to fucking business. No "hellos" or "how do you dos" for you, motherfucker. _{wait where are you going please come back i'm so lonely}
• As the title implies, I'm male ♂. As the title also implies, I'm gorgeous.
• I'm legal. Ladies.
• Writing is my passion and I actually take it pretty seriously. I don't know why no one believes me.
• I can play male ♂ characters or female ♀. I typically prefer male, but really it will depend on the setting and the story.
• I don't abandon threads without telling you first. End of. I will always inform you if I don't plan on posting anymore. If I have openings in my 1x1 schedule it's because the other person quit posting. (Click here to see my rant on this topic.)
• I'm certified privilege-checking cis-scum. Any romantic relationships are exclusively MxF.
• Romance is always possible, and never guaranteed. I'd rather start with another genre, and if it happens to lead to some chemistry between the characters, more power to 'em.
• (NEW!) I like roleplaying as ugly motherfuckers sometimes. If you're the sort of person who will have a problem with that, look elsewhere. I'm not here to roleplay your A-list supermodel bodice-ripper; I'm here to roleplay realistic and engaging characters, who may or may not "happen" to be as pretty as me.
• I'll try (almost) anything, but here are my tried-and-true favorite genres:
  • Fantasy
    • Medieval Fantasy is best.
    • Dark Fantasy is awesome.
    • Steampunk, Dieselpunk, and other "-punks" are negotiable.
    • Urban Fantasy is the exception. It's fresh bum-chocolate. I don't like it.
  • Science Fiction and Cyberpunk
  • Horror
  • Western
  • Post-Apocalyptic
  • History and historical fiction
• I'm not afraid of touchy topics. If the RP is sufficiently gritty and grimdark, don't be surprised when there's murder, rape, gore, et cetera.
  • At the same time, I don't use these things gratuitously. I won't use these things simply for shock value.
• Ultimately I'm here to tell stories, not to shoot my load. I prefer fading to black, but if it fits the tone and the themes of the RP, and enhances its moods, then I will not object to explicit scenes of romantic nature. Whether we fade to black or not will be totally up to you and your comfort level.
• I command very strong knowledge of the English language.
• If we're roleplaying an historical or historical-fictional setting, I will attempt to be as historically accurate as possible. Of you I would request the same.
• Generally I prefer original fiction over fanfiction, but if you and I happen to share fandom for a particular series/film/game, we should discuss this. (There is a list of canons at the bottom of this post, but feel free to propose other canons not on the list to me anyway. Sometimes I forget about series I've liked, or I simply haven't watched something yet which I probably would like.)
• I prefer public threads, but I am willing to accommodate with roleplay via PMs or even email.
• My characters can be pretty edgy sometimes, but I always try to make sure that they're depthful, fun, and that they have plenty of personality.

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About You (My Ideal RP Partner)

• You agree: "brevity is the soul of wit." Short and sweet, never spreading 3 sentences of butter over 5 paragraphs of bread.
  • (But hey, if you have five legitimate paragraphs of content to contribute, that's great!)
• You, too, command strong knowledge of the English language. Mistakes are fine within reason.
• Consolidating the two facts above, you'd probably classify yourself subsequently as a "high-casual-low-advanced" RPer.
• You don't metagame; our characters disliking each other doesn't mean I dislike you.
• You communicate. If you want to see changes in the RP, you have no qualms about letting me know.
• You understand the difference between a character who is bad, and a character who is badly written. Character flaws are good.
• You despise good-neutral-evil alignment, and recognize that morality is a spectrum of infinite grey hues.
• But at the end of the day, sifting through all the bullshit rules and regulations, you're still reading this because writing is your hobby and your passion and you want it to be as good as it can be.

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Plots: Outlined Ideas and Vague Premises

_{I give few details on my plot ideas by design. Some of these details—relationship between the characters, the exact narrative structure, etc.—I like to leave to our improvisational skills and to our chemistry as players. Hopefully this piques your interest further; it's no fun entering a story where you already know the ending!
I accept plot ideas! Please PM or post here.}

Original Plot Prompts (will be given titles when people pick them up)

Dark Fantasy 1

Two men, antithetical in attitudes, philosophies, and even talents, have joined the same army, with the same intention: rise through the ranks, and lead it to victory against the cruel man who calls himself their emperor, whose transgressions against his subjects finally have grown too great to ignore.

{A} is a smith, or a carpenter, or a man of any other craft which you may prefer. He is too old to be drafted, but his apprentice wasn't, so the boy was dragged away to fight in the tyrant's army. That was many months ago. Now the man cannot keep his shop afloat by himself, so he does what his conscience tells him to do: craft a spear, a shield, and a mail shirt for himself. Sell the tools and the excess metal and use the money on food and other supplies. Then volunteer. If he joins then that's another smith's apprentice somewhere who can stay in his village and continue learning his trade. Besides, if {A}'s contributions to the war effort will end the war even ten minutes sooner, that's all the sooner that the survivors can go home, and carry on with their lives.

{B} is different. The son of a priest, or perhaps a magistrate, he was raised to value humility above all things. He owns no property and no possessions, not even the monastery's itchy robes which cover his beautiful body (as if it were something to be ashamed of—the tragedy of it!). He's sick of it; serving the diseased, the lazy, the poor, the ungrateful! He deserves so much better, which he knows deep in his heart. The war is his opportunity to seize something for himself at last; something he can own, and wear, and love, which he will never have to give away to others less fortunate than he. And what better gift to give himself than a crown?

Liberators. Heroes. One man has joined this army because he agrees with their ideals, and desires for the realm the same brand of justice as they. Another has joined because they have an army; and he has decided that it will be easier to defeat the king in battle than to get close to him, stab him in the back, and somehow come out of that treachery with a crown and a throne. Both learn that they have a great talent for leadership, when given the proper resources and training to survive their first battles. They are allies; but does that mean they are able to be friends? Shall they only use each other as pawns, or can they come to a common understanding as to the meaning of the war, and the tragedies it composes from the flesh of the dead?

Early Modern RP: Vampire/Gothic

They were towns by the sea, home to fishermen, mudlarks, saltmakers, and of course, the legendary whalers. When warm and sunny, they were quaint and rather idyllic. But when the waves lashed out like vipers, and the winds sung shrieking dirges, and the sunlight was extinguished behind the jagged mountains, all windows were locked, all doors barricaded.

History books tell us Roanoke probably fell to an epidemic. But they didn't want us to know what creature carried the disease, what stewards of the Devil!

It's colonial America and vampires have found new prey. Maybe they stowed themselves away on our ships, following us here. Or maybe they're the work of Indian magic. Maybe God has cursed these men to be men no longer, like men only in shape, cruel effigies to His punitive will. Regardless, this endangers what little the humble colonists have managed to build in this harsh new land.

Psychological Science-Fiction/Horror RP

Someone probably warned me the hypersleep pods would have some "side effects." I wish I would remember who. Actually, I wish I could remember very much at all.

The computers say we're over twenty lightyears away from earth. I say "we," though there's only one other pod in the chamber. It hasn't opened yet. Maybe it's a girl. Maybe she's cute. At the moment she's luckier than me. It's dull in here and I wish I hadn't woken up.

It's so chilly, and floating around these sterile chrome hallways gives me a headache. But the living room isn't too bad; it even has a carpet, nailed down to the floor to keep it from floating away in zero-G. And the slop I'm eating, even if it's probably recycled from my own wastes, doesn't taste too bad. I hope someone finds me soon. Playing chess with the motherboard has gotten pretty boring. She always wins.

Dark Fantasy 2/Anime/Post-Apocalypse (setting heavily inspired by Planescape)

They say a second war has begun to stir. The first ruined nearly the continent, and to harness that sort of power, wizards are needed.

Uphiz was—nay, he is—our city's most beloved guardian, our shield against the dangers which even the tall walls of stone and black iron cannot keep at bay. He is also the only wizard we had. So when the masked servants came here, the ones with runes bored into their bones, and sigils sliced into their skin, he was the one they dragged down into their hellish portal. Not to be seen since.

Or is it "never to be seen again"? Perhaps. But then our quest is already lost, and we cannot afford to think that right now. We've come too far; overcome too much and too many. Our people need something to hope for even as we embark away from this city, this oasis floating in a massive graveyard.

{Character A} has joined me on a quest to save Uphiz from the clutches of our tyrant. It's probably a suicide mission, but then, so is sitting here waiting for the walls to be breached, so we can be torn apart at the sinews and devoured like wild game. No. Our city's only hope is getting him back. To sit here and do nothing—I cannot be so cowardly!

Another Science Fiction RP (less horror this time (maybe?))

The sooner I escape this fucking rat-maze, I swear to you, the sooner I'll smash in the heads of whoever has put us here. Heat, cold, chemicals. Even radiation. They boiled Sarah's brain in her skull with some sort of beam weapon. Like a melon in a fucking microwave. Something is up there. It wants us alive so the experiments can continue, but sometimes it makes mistakes. "Miscalculations."

Now they're sending things after us; living things. I see them in the corners of my eyes, watching us from the darkness, but not enough to make out their shapes. Some are big. Some look like insect swarms, fluid as they flow along the walls. I want to go home. I don't want to bleed red blood into this squishy black earth. I don't want to die without seeing my daughter again! Not on this shit-hole of an alien planet!

Western RP

It inclined me to think {Character B} was the most despicable son of a bitch this side of the Black Hills. Maybe I still do. But I dole credit where it's due: those savages must've gave him a run for his money, from the way the town looked when we rode in.

I had him all strung up on my saddle, rear pokin' up at the heavens like a winking mare. His bounty shoulda paid for my whiskey and bullets for a few months. But now the town is a pileo' smolderin' rubble and the sheriff's dead; slaughtered and scalped just like the rest. And the next town over's a long, long ride away...

I don't like having such a dirty man watching my back. My guts're telling me he'll spill 'em open soon as he gets it in his mousey little head. Spey me like a newborn calf and leave me to wriggle in the dust, he will. But in the meanwhile, we're both in hostile, conquered territory; and in a time like this a man needs an ally. I just hope he fears me much the same as he afears me.

Dark Fantasy 3

{A} and {B} are alike in many ways: both are noble-bred, and thus they are skilled in swordplay, riding, and other "high" talents. They're both quite handsome and popular among the peerage, especially young maidens. And they're remarkably close, nearly brotherly in their bonds. So when war threatens their nation, and the two noblemen are ordered to levy soldiers and supplies from their territories for the army which will drive back the foreign hordes, they know they will stand beside each other through thick and thin.

So close are they that when {A} realizes he will lose a pivotal battle (and all the political things which that entails, probably including loss of his lands and titles), and chooses to make a pact with a demon to temporarily augment his abilities, {B} seems to have no choice but to do the same, suffering the same costs as his dearest friend. This story will chronicle the two characters' growing addiction to power——physical, magical, and political alike——and the debts which they will accumulate during this quest to obtain it.

Fandoms I don't hate, and would be willing to do fanfiction for (also an incomprehensive and growing list)

• Videogames
  • Deus Ex
  • Planescape: Torment
  • Thief
  • S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
  • Vampires: the Masquerade - Bloodlines
  • Castlevania
• Anime/manga
  • Records of Lodoss War (I know I said I would never play canon characters. This is the exception: Lord Motherfuckin' Ashram.)
  • Legend of the Galactic Heroes
  • The Heroic Legend of Arslan (1991, not the shitty remake by the FMA guy)
  • Howl's Moving Castle
  • Battle Angel Alita / Gunnm
  • Any manga or anime by, or inspired by, Fukumoto Nobuyuki, including: Kaiji, Akagi, Strongest Man Kurosawa and more
  • One Punch Man
  • Little Witch Academia
• Films and TV
  • Mad Max
  • Deadwood
• Music
  • Have you ever listened to the Black Metal band Immortal? I'm not too proud to admit that a Fantasy roleplay set in their world of "Blashyrkh" would be pretty fucking cool. It would be cheesy but also super-edgy and just awesome.

[pugbutter]

bump

I was gonna do a gimmick where every time I bump I upload a new story idea into the list, but the plan is inherently flawed because I'm an uncreative hack-fraud

[pugbutter]

Current historical/historical-fictional cravings:

• Zulu War
• Boer Wars
• Dark Ages / Vikings
• Ancient Britons e.g. Picts, Celts, Roman conquerors ← PICK THIS ONE
• Norman invasion of England, 1066
• Old West
• Golden Age of Piracy

[Fyre Unholy]

Post-Apugalypse RP. Alright Pugbutter, nice pun. You got me. Interested in that RP in particular myself.

[Mercenary5]

Ancient Britons e.g. Picts, Celts, Roman conquerors ← PICK THIS ONE

HOLY SHIT YES

[pugbutter]

Bump! A lot of 1x1 partners got lost to the holiday craze, so I've got some openings again. Current cravings:

• High Fantasy
• Anime mecha

And I'm working on getting at least one newer, fresher plot into the OP. Maybe more.

[Lady Selune]

This is stupidly glorious, and I need something non-smut for once. Golden age of piracy methinks.

[pugbutter]

And thus was a new Western prompt added to the list.

[Undead Eyes]

Well, at least I'm not the only one who goes overboard with their threads...

Good for you!

[pugbutter]

@Miss Gallagher Like what you see, sweetie? *wiggles butt seductively*

[Undead Eyes]

@pugbutter

I think I have a better butt-wiggle than you, my dear. You see, it's not a wiggle... It's a sway... -Seductive butt-sway-

[pugbutter]

@Miss Gallagher Excuse me. No showing me up in my own thread! Out! Out!

[Undead Eyes]

@pugbutter

It's only showing you up if you're admitting I was better! Haha!

[pugbutter]

@Miss Gallagher NORMIE GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Angel Vicky]

You ~ Sir ~ are a lovable rogue! XD

[Gowi]

If we're roleplaying an historical or historical-fictional setting, I will attempt to be as historically accurate as possible. Of you I would request the same.

Kind of sorta interested in doing a story set during the height of King Arthur's reign, or what was considered as such. So during the 6th Century. My pace would be slow if you are interested.

or if you have other historical fiction ideas I'm game, I'm a dork

[pugbutter]

New Dark Fantasy prompt is up.

@Gowi Are you interested in that time period in general, or in that particular setting too (ie. modern-day England and Wales)?

[The One]

@pugbutter I would love to do some high fantasy, probably Medieval fantasy, and I might also have some dark fantasy ideas. I can and usually will have multiple characters. ^^

[pugbutter]

@The One HMU in PM's with whatever suggestions you've got.

[Gowi]

New Dark Fantasy prompt is up.

@Gowi Are you interested in that time period in general, or in that particular setting too (ie. modern-day England and Wales)?

@pugbutter

I'll give it a look and let you know in PM when I've done all my GM responsibilities in Pariah and replied in my RPs.