Been distracted by holiday stuff and dying car batteries, so sorry for the delay. But here we are again! Let's kill some folk!
Bert dies. He saved Santa, killed Ash, and came upon a midnight clear. He did not deserve to die, but he died, because that is the way of the world and gladiatorial fights to the death.
As some Judaism takes place, somewhere in another room a drunken Papa Smurf burns his blanket. Probably stumbled and dropped the candle. Thus dies snuggie, who listened to people's inner most thoughts and helped them sneak up on people to kill them. RIP.
Santa dies sad and alone. Merry fucking Christmas.
Putin roasts his chestnuts. These are probably the chestnuts he helped steal from frosty, which means he is roasting hot chestnuts.
Emoticone overeats and passes out.
Then Baby Jesus fucking nails it and sticks himself right in the middle of the correct event. This is a Christmas miracle fit for the good book itself.
Cynder misses the lovable funsters Chunk and Sloth. And really, who isn't having a blue christmas if Chunk and Sloth aren't around?
The Equestrian Royal Guard gives Witch Cat a place to stay for the night, which is another unexciting even for ERC.
Frosty tries to blow up a Turkey, remembers he is a snow man, but 'members to late and is obliterated by the first splatter of oil. All that was left of him was a corn-cob pipe, a button nose, and two eyes made out of cole.
Just remember, if you did not doubt it, that Bowser will be at your door before Christmas. Don't even worry about him not showing up. He will be there.
Dr. Light hurts Ernie and leaves him to die in the cold. This has been a brutal day on Sesame street. That's one puppet dead, two puppets dead. This deadly day has been brought to you by the number two.
Clint gets in an epic anime-style fight with Bloody Charles, and it takes a fully charged spirit of christmas attack to destroy the killer boy for good.
Ursula makes some cookies.
Bing Crosby searches for Clirkus. Ursula, taking her gingerbread cookies out of the oven, goes to the door to find some freshly packaged yellow snow. Whether or not sure likes enjoyed this gift is anybody's guess.
Papa Smurf, leaving the burnt to a crisp snuggie as ashes in the hall, goes outside, takes a swig, and breathalyzes the morning air.
Dr Light, having just left a dying Ernie to freeze to death, gently pats nutmeg into Jesus's cuts and lacerations.
Not everyone in this game apparently believes that anything as wholesome as Chunk and Sloth can exist. The Witch Cat knows they exist, but apparently think they are a single snow-constructed entity, like "Chunkand Sloth the Snowman".
Five rings to Cynder in murder-kitchen of stone.
Burma finds an Emoticone passed out from too much turkey and, on a lark, as a gag, just a prank, stuffs Emoticone full of turkey until he dies. Because it's funny, right guys? Like, he ate too much turkey, so I killed him with turkey? Get it?
Clint apparently has gay apparel, and he wears it alongside four other gayly dressed tributes just tryin' to survive.
Bowser, on his way home, stubs his toe and covers it in pie filling.
A lot of child-hoods took a beating here. Remember as you look at this sad list that, no matter how much childhood lays dead on the field, seven months ago Mr. Roger triumphed in the Election Year Games.
