Thread summary:
Sassy Mama claws her way out of Colossus’ belly. She’s a big’un; like, “Sassy Mama So Fat She Squashed a Planet” big. No wonder her mama exploded. No wonder she cranky. Her brothers are there, by-the-by. They do not impress. She bitch-smacks shark-bro to a whole ‘nother world and ties squid-bro up in bondage gear.
Disoriented from being flung to Planet Crazy, shark-bro burps up some spittle. A mean bong-hitting man afflicted with Alexandria Genesis tells him to shut up and mind his manners. Damn, he smokes a lot. The whole place is covered in it. Before shark-bro can apologize, the mean man tells his luck dragons Sandy and Rocky to sick ‘em. Shark-bro doesn’t like that and bites Rocky’s tail. They land on the ground and make a big boom. Apparently, they hit the ground too damn hard and wake up Rip Van Winkle. He is hungry and devours a spider with eyelids. Whoever heard of such a thing? Then he starts bitching about kids these days having no respect and magics squid-bro into a bathtub full of putrefied skin because plain ole bondage gear is boring.
Meanwhile, Sassy Mama farted through space to escape her moma’s dead body. Her farts are pretty bad and pretty moist. Anyway, she catches a whiff of her own produce and and either hallucinates or really does run into a giant cross-dresser in space who wants to give her a shiny rock. She isn’t having none of that, though. No shiny rock. The cross-dresser won’t take no for an answer, and tricks her into taking the rock. Damn. It isn’t a rock, after all. It’s fucking urchin-bro, her new baby brother. Where was he hiding? Don’t matter. She bitch-smacks him away too.
Back on Planet Crazy: lots of val-babies being made. Not through normal reproduction. Just random shit getting stuck in the folds of fat-bro’s loose skin. Eventually squid-bro claws his way out of fat-bro’s belly button and damn is he angry. He starts mouthing off about how Satan or Magnus or somebody is their daddy. Some rockstar starts thrashing out some Metal Mayhem. He doesn’t actually know how to play his instrument, though. This drives the luck dragons crazy and so they start barking at flesh-bro. The bad music also attracts the attention of a bigger, hornier, metal dragon who bursts upon the scene. He isn’t friends with anyone! And he has a gun! Shark-bro’s pet fish is screaming, but he has a tummy ache. Whoops, ate too much! He vomits and a bunch of jelly fish come rushing out.
Holy fuck, these guys have mommy issues.
The metal dragon fires his pistol.
Shark-bro flushes his pet fish down the toilet because he is sad and confused. Then he jumps into the toilet too and swims down the drain.
