Can I like post a CS here expressly for the porpoises of critique? If so, I posted this one CS up on a 1x1 interest check thread and I want to know how I could make this charrie better. This is completely unrelated to why nobody is posting in my interest check thread where I posted this idea for a charrie. I know that the fandom genre isn't all that popular. WHAT I DO WANT TO KNOW IS: how to make this character better, deeper, and just more fleshed out.
Since it was an RP idea of my own creation, I know I skimped on the history, but it was for a potential 1x1. I was going for a small, silent girl prone to frequent anxiety attacks, but the personality just came out sounding so DULL! Which is frankly a damn shame because I like the general premise of this charrie, even if the fandom for it (Accel World) is unpopular. I might use this charrie in some other weird (maybe arena?) fighting RP. If this inspires you to create some sort of fighting RP that's a spinoff of this charrie's fandom, I am all ears (insert Ferengi meme here).
Anywho, umm, for want of better phrasing: grade me senpai(s)?
Age: 16
Nickname: Zwee
Zodiac Sign: Pisces
Appearance:
Originally brunette, Zuiko dyed her hair pale blue to match her favorite manga heroine. In her younger years, manga and anime were her favorite escape from reality. Now, it's changed to Brain Burst. But that's another section. Zuiko has a slim, very petite figure, standing at 4'10". Due to years of being basically a shut-in during junior high school, her skin is paler than the average Japanese girl, making her look more Western than her peers. Even her eyes are slightly wider, and oddly blue, furthering the theory that she has foreign blood in her veins though both of her parents were born in Japan. Zuiko is normally seen wearing a small frown on her face. She often likes to garb herself in a plain white button-up shirt with a navy skirt. During the winter month's, she takes a black blanket from her bed and drapes it over her shoulders like a mock cloak. Speaking of mocking, that's what the other students do when they see her do this.
Her Brain Burst avatar is a metallic blue woman with glowing blue eyes, light armor, and a bow that fires icy arrows. It is pretty immobile but has long range. She is immune to attacks from other ice users.
Combat Skills (Brain Burst):
- Disengage (she just does a giant backflip. It's useful to kite, but has a long cooldown.
- Homing Arrows (she nocks three ice arrows at once and they follow their target wherever it goes. Their pathing can be a bit dumb though.)
- Slowing Shots (her regular arrows, if they hit a target, slow their movement by a noticeable amount, decaying over time)
Combat Skills (Real Life):
- Punch, slap, kick. Basic stuff, but unfortunately she is pretty frail IRL.
Personality:She is quiet and reserved, your typical introvert. Preferring to be by herself and curl up in a corner with a good book or manga, Zuiko is not one for words. Her speech is as efficient as possible to get a point across....unless she is talking about art. Even when she's fighting inside of Brain Burst, she rarely speaks.
History:
Since this is my own RP, I get to keep this short and sweet and not put anyone to sleep (hopefully). She was bullied severely, has changed schools thrice, and found Brain Burst at the fourth school, Ujigami High School, when it mysteriously appeared in her neuro linker's recommended apps page. She has been a Burst linker for only three months, and in that time, has lost almost all of her points, except 3, and has never risen above level 1 (highest level being 9 right now).
Oh, and her parents are normal, working-class people but they really don't care and/or understand their daughter's situation. She's been different since birth to them, what with the neuro linker and being extremely reclusive. They probably will not play a monumental factor in Zuiko's development. Your character(s) will though.
(If it helps, here are two other CS for comparison that I've created for different RPs thus far. The first one, Lin, is for a free RP, but the second one, Menn, is for an advanced RP that never got off the ground. The third one I actually WANT feedback on as it's pending GM approval, so that's probably the one I should be asking for help with. >,>)
"I am one with the Force and the Force is with me." - Menn "Menlo" Lutaro
Full Name: Menn Grax Lutaro
Homeworld: Iridonia
Born: 87 BBY (age 36)
Species: Zabrak
Gender: Male
Physical Features: He is 6'4" with a slim physique and average musculature. No particular distinguishing markings to speak of except on his face, which mark the Iridonian clan he was born into before being given over to the Order as an infant.
Cybernetics & Injuries: He has a cybernetic right hand after an accident where he rescued a small child who had climbed inside a bulk freighter's thruster nozzle. The child was unharmed, but the thruster nozzle's firing seared off most of Menn's right arm at the elbow. He was exactly 30 when this happened.
Role in the Jedi Order: Jedi Master
Padawan: Sia Awen
Mastered Force Abilities: Force Protect, Force Heal
Skills & Abilities: Basic slicing, intermediate medical treatment, and an uncanny aptitude for quick astronavigation (blind hyperspace jumps, finding things like jettisoned fighter pilot couches that have been neutralized by ion cannon and are floating dead in black space, et cetera.)
Combat Style: Menn is a Jedi Consular, meaning he focuses more on the use of the Force in combat as opposed to a skill-based Sentinel or a physically-oriented Guardian. He has mastered the lightsaber form of Soresu, which compensates for his lack of Guardian-focused physical prowess, allowing him to defend almost indefinitely while focusing on assisting his allies with the Force. Normally someone of such an impressive physique would be seen using one of the more powerful stances like Juyo, Shii-cho or Djem So, but not Menn. His philosophy is a good defense creates opportunities for a good offense.
Lightsaber: Menn's saber hilt is bone-white, carved out of a bantha tusk he bought while on Coruscant at the Jedi Academy. The saber color is most definitely green, as befitting a Consular (although the saber color can vary if the lightsaber's components are unorthodox).
Menn has near infinite patience. He is accustomed to long periods of waiting. Impulsive acts, especially ones that can lead to undue violence (especially loss of life) are about the only way to get any kind of rebuke out of him, let alone an actual rise out of him. Aside from being slow to anger, Menn has a jaded sense of humor well beyond his only thirty-odd years. He enjoys the occasional practical joke so long as it doesn't interfere with a mission, exercise cruelty, or leave someone open to fear.
He is the epitome of the strong, silent type. If something needs to be said, he prefers to be reactive as opposed to proactive. In fact, he is so reactive that he is prone to indecision. This could hurt him some day if he ever hesitates for too long on the field of battle.
Being that Menn is one of those Jedi that were taken from their homeworld at infancy, there's not much to be said about his (Menn's) childhood. When he was nearly one-year-old, a passing Jedi Master by the name of Xila Neru, a female Zeltron, sensed the raw midi-chlorians within the young Zabrak and strove to contact his parents and ask permission to test the child. Upon that test reaching a positive conclusion, and after the experienced Xila had finished her diplomatic mission on Iridonia, she returned to the parents' home and explained to them what their child being Force sensitive could mean. In the end, Menn's parents reluctantly gave their child up to Xila who returned, baby Menn in her arms, to the Jedi Order.
Though she did not raise him directly, Xila followed Menn's progress within the Temple very closely between missions. It turned out that Menn's patience and kindness towards others struck a chord within Xila, who happened to be more of a firebrand. When Menn turned thirteen, the Council gave permission to release Venn into Xila's custody as her Padawan learner. This meant that Venn would remain at the Temple, but under instruction directly from Xila herself.
One difficulty in their training made itself clear early. Xila's chosen Ataru and Shii-cho lightsaber styles were not a good fit at all for young Menn. One day Xila spied Menn haggling with a Coruscanti merchant over the price of a bantha tusk. The way he argued his point so defensively while still remaining receptive to the concerns of the other struck Xila as a characteristic of the Soresu form: defense above all. Upon Menn's return to the Temple, Xila began instructing the young Zabrak in the ways of the Soresu form. Within a mere half an hour, Menn managed to master blaster bolt deflection from as many as seven drones. Master Neru could only stand off to the side and gape, though she quickly shut her mouth when Menn noticed. "I think....we found your style, my apprentice!" she exclaimed enthusiastically, grinning. "Don't be so excited, Master," Venn mused sagely. "I'm only thirteen and haven't grown into my adult body yet. I have a long way to go." It was then Xila realized just how special her Padawan was.
Three years of constant training later, Xila was officially awarded the title of Jedi Master and her apprentice received an actual Padawan braid; which of course he accepted with grace beyond his years while Xila was beaming ear-to-ear and could barely contain herself. The newly minted duo went on many a mission together; some successful and some ended so embarrassingly that neither Xila nor Menn wanted to speak of them again. Ever since his sixteenth birthday, Menn had constructed his first - and only - lightsaber, using the very same bantha tusk he'd haggled for three years ago as the hilt.
On one of those missions that turned out to be equal parts embarrassing and instructive, the duo had joined up with another Master/Padawan team and were the first in a long line of Jedi teams hoping to put an end to the endless civil war on Melida/Daan. Menn and Xila both got most of their clothes scorched off by a plasma grenade while the other Master/Padawan team could only look on in bemused horror. This taught the budding duo the important values of patience and humility. Patience because Xila had rushed into a fray without thinking, Menn following her blindly because she had never steered him wrong. Humility because no one is perfect, not even a Jedi. After Xila Neru's untimely death to save Menn's life in the ruins of Malachor III, this would remain as one of his fondest memories of his old master....though not because he witnessed a naked female Zeltron who was quite physically exquisite as was the norm for her race.
When Master Xila died via an ancient Sith poison trap, young Menn was not so young anymore, having grown up to be a fine twenty-four-year-old. He had been granted permission three years prior to cut off his Padawan braid, but he had refused, claiming that his bond with his Master overrode the need to be rid of a symbol of inferiority. The Council didn't bother to admonish Menn that padawans were no more inferior to their masters than vice versa. Menn had already demonstrated through his actions and words that being a Master was in itself a teaching experience. Words that caught Xila off guard yet again by the sage wisdom that seemed to pour from her apprentice's mouth on a daily basis.
Anyway, at age 24, upon his escape from the caves of Malachor III, hunted by a long dead Sith Lord Force-imbued spirit, Menn was granted the title of Jedi Knight and, with more than a few silent tears from Menn himself, his Padawan braid was ceremonially severed. He kept the braid with him at all times up until present day as a reminder of whom he had served for so long. For the next twelve years, Menn went on missions throughout the Jedi Order, always paying special attention to long, drawn out missions that required him to place his grief for Xila aside. Grief leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Well Menn was done being a slave to suffering. Instead he vowed to help end the suffering of others wherever he encountered it.
So it is written that Menn became one of the most decorated Jedi Knights in their thousand-strong corps of veterans. Yet he remained humble and kind through it all. Material gains and comfort meant nothing to him. At age thirty-six, there were rumors about Menn being the youngest person ever to be named to the Jedi Council after one Master of Yoda's species passed away. In an effort to distance himself from all the attention, Menn accepted an offer from Jedi Master Sa Tomar to come along with a group of younger Jedi Knights and apprentices on a secret mission to investigate the Hutt Cartel's most recent bundle of shady dealings. Another venerated, older apprentice about to be Knighted, Mace Windu, served as even more incentive to lure Menn away from the rumors beckoning him back to a more administrative role in the Order on Coruscant. For the first time in his life, Menn discovered that he had been craving action....and craving excitement was a road to the dark side. This thought planted a miniscule seed of fear in Menn's secret heart of hearts. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side.....
Sara Maxine Fawcett
“I don't always get shot at, but when I do...the shooter's gonna eat dirt.”
Age
23
Appearance
Sara is a tall, leggy female human with blonde hair, piercing royal blue eyes, and enough of an ego to take up three parsecs. Her fair skin is to her detriment as, without proper protection, her skin burns easily when exposed to harsh sunlight. Blessed with a teardrop face and a button nose, Sara is quite the distraction to both males and females alike.
Her gait is vaguely catlike. Whether she is preparing to attack or just plain tired, it's not uncommon to see her crouching at the knees, hands on or hovering over her kneecaps. Sara is able to run for long distances without tiring, though sprinting is much more taxing for someone with her high center of gravity.
She has a crescent-shaped scar on the back of her hand when another slave of the Venusian don went insane and bit her. As a result, her left hand has always been slightly weaker than her right. Thanks to Lunarian upbringing, as well as her dad's profession, dressing to the nines (and eights) is like breathing to her. It is completely natural for her to be seen wearing combat skirts and the like.
Traits
Sara is a weapons and security specialist. She knows how to batten down the hatches and "shoot the galdurn varmints." She's fairly dexterous with her hands, a needed skill for someone who cares for guns like they're her own children. A hardy runner, not many people have Sara's stamina at a brisk jog. Sara is loyal to whoever pays her, which happens to be the Magnitude's captain as of these past couple years. Another trait of hers is, however naively, sticking up for any obvious injustice or atrocity committed before her eyes. This can be disastrous given her trigger-happy personality.
Personality:
Despite her Lunarian fashion sense and smashing good looks, life has not been entirely easy for young Sara. As such, she's turned into quite the tomboy, becoming a weapons specialist. With that responsibility comes a certain amount of ego and pride at being able to bullseye a common street rat from thirty meters with a bloody handgun. Sara is arrogant to a fault; her hubris always causing her to butt heads with people when she wants her way on something.
In contrast to being relatively quick to anger and super prideful, underneath it all, Sara is fun-loving and, on RARE occasion, lets the other three occupants of the Absolute Magnitude see her lighter side. Despite any harsh words she might bark without warning, she loves the rest of her crew currently and thinks they work well together.
Likes:
- Absolute Magnitude, she thinks it's a nice ship for its price range and especially likes its shipboard weaponry.
- Being waited on
- Attention
- Combat (shooting and kicking mostly)
- Guns
- Power
- Trying on new clothes, though she'll be extremely xenophobic if aliens are encountered
- Playing Gandolball. (A gandolball is an elastic glass sphere that cages a poisonous gas. TY @oakman ^.^)
Dislikes
- Inaction (she's very impulsive)
- Feeling awkward/weak
- Tattoos / body art (is okay with piercings though)
- Mushy-mushy crap
- People who waste time and/or opportunities (could be inaction-related or about drugs/liquor)
Past:
Sara was born on Luna (the moon obviously) to Gregory Fawcett and Luxana King-Fawcett. Until she was 11, she had a perfectly happy and normal childhood. That is when excrement hit the fan. Sara's father was a wealthy Chief Operating Officer for a mega-chain of clothing stores spanning the colonized Milky Way called Regalia. He also happened to be partaking in some disreputable business activities on the side with a mafia-of-sorts on Venus through which he was profiting immensely. As these activities tend to go, the mafia in question began demanding more and more resources of Gregory and his company. When he finally became more of a hassle than help, they put a large bounty on his head.
Gregory, who was negotiating the opening of a Regalia store on Saturn at the time he heard of the bounty, dropped everything and rushed back to his Lunar home where only child Sara and mama Luxana waited. It took him (appropriate amount of time) to reach home, but much to his dismay, he found that Lux lay dead on the floor, her throat cut. Sara was hiding in the house's attic, clearly a victim of PTSD, and she didn't speak for a week despite every attempt by her father to coax her out of her hidey-hole.
So began the chase, where Gregory took his daughter and fled on their luxury shuttlecraft from planet to planet, all the while avoiding Venus like the plague. During these formative four years, Sara grew into a capable young woman at an early age. After a close call on the moon of Europa where the Venusian's bounty hunters shot at them, Greg taught his daughter to shoot a handgun. Sara took to guns like white on rice, learning to clean and disassemble a rifle in under a minute, then have it reassembled in another minute. Her first rifle came as a sixteenth birthday present from her dad at a black market on Io.
Without a source of reliable income having quit Regalia, Sara and her father had to resort to conning people out of their money. Some of the schemes they worked up were so outrageous and transparent that they failed, but most of them worked with varying degrees of success. A strange bond developed between father and daughter. One of Sara's favorite memories of her father was him telling her, "If you know all the cons, you'll never be a sucker!"
As it turned out, those words would come back to bite Gregory. When Sara was seventeen, she and her father were scheduled to meet with a potential "buyer" of a small deep space fuel depot located between Jupiter and Mars. Little did they know until it was too late that their client was actually the don of the Venusian mafia himself. They were trapped within minutes, bound and gagged and led back to Venus at gunpoint the whole way.
Once on Venus, both of them were severely mistreated mafia prisoners, sold into slavery to be "bought" by none other than the don himself. He instantly set the father to grueling work in one of the Venusian underground rice paddies with long hours and meager rations. He kept post-adolescent Sara as a personal concubine, whoring her out against her will in fancy dresses and makeup to make "business" contacts at high-end parties that he would not otherwise have had access to. With the looming threat of her father's death, Sara was forced to obey the don's wishes and experience a whole new kind of horror. As a result, Sara became very prickly, distant and tough emotionally and physically. Most of the time she managed to defend herself when a client asked for her hand in bed, but there were a handful of times where she was overpowered and overcome with rage and grief. She vowed to herself if she EVER got out of this shithole loop, she would do well for herself.
After four years of this indentured servitude, Sara met the captain of the Absolute Magnitude who took pity on her after she saved his life at a dinner party by stabbing his would-be assassin in the eye with a fork and "bought" her away from the don. He couldn't buy away her father, but that's because neither Sara nor the don bothered telling him. She had long since assumed her father was dead one way or another. In the ensuing firefight to escape the dinner party turned madhouse, Sara had shown off her accuracy with a small blaster and the captain's eyes got wide as saucers to see this woman in a fancy dress shooting with so much precision.
As a result, roughly three years later, Sara works security under Poole for her beloved ship. Any who threaten their tight-knit group are filled with lead.
Shortly after being invited by Captain Poole to join the crew of the Magnitude. Sara manages to get her hot little hands on a quarterstaff from a weapons' merchant at one of their ports-of-call on Mars. It's a lightweight weapon, suitable for her minimal upper-body strength, flexible wood with a comfortable grip in the middle, short sharp blades on either end. She keeps this slung over her back most days.
Strengths
Combat Skills:
- Masterful use of sniper rifles, regular unscoped rifles, shotguns, pistols, and spaceship turrets. Is still learning, and not that good with, remote-operated shipboard cannons (controlled from a cockpit, etc.)
- Has one hell of a roundhouse kick (prefers clawing/scratching/slapping to direct fisticuffs if the need arises).
- Being extremely resourceful while in combat, using terrain and certain objects to her advantage.
- Uses a quarterstaff for melee attacks. Quarterstaffs don't necessarily hit that hard, but they are mainly used by dexterous individuals with lightning reflexes. By no means is she close to mastery of the weapon yet.
Social Skills:
- Extremely intimidating to outsiders (not so much to her fellow shipmates who are used to it)
- Could potentially seduce people with her beauty, but it's a very sore subject from her days as a concubine. If the captain asked her to, she would probably break his jaw.
Other Skills:
- She speaks the language of Saturn, Titanean, fluently and can translate.
- Advanced knowledge of Space Combat and ground combat jargon.
- Sara is currently attempting to master use of a Japanese katana (see history)
Bed Skills:
- If she isn't on top, she will find a way.
Weaknesses
- Arrogant to the EXTREME (can lead to overconfidence in herself and the severe underestimation of others)
- Despite being good with guns, her upper body strength is lacking
- Fear of snakes and spiders
- Allergic to peanuts
- Can be easily thrown off-balance emotionally if she lets someone get too close (which leads to her being distracted from a job at hand and thus, carelessness).
- She's not the most diplomatic person, and is very trigger happy.
Since it was an RP idea of my own creation, I know I skimped on the history, but it was for a potential 1x1. I was going for a small, silent girl prone to frequent anxiety attacks, but the personality just came out sounding so DULL! Which is frankly a damn shame because I like the general premise of this charrie, even if the fandom for it (Accel World) is unpopular. I might use this charrie in some other weird (maybe arena?) fighting RP. If this inspires you to create some sort of fighting RP that's a spinoff of this charrie's fandom, I am all ears (insert Ferengi meme here).
Anywho, umm, for want of better phrasing: grade me senpai(s)?
Girl with Blue Hair
"Life without Acceleration is not worth living."
Age: 16
Nickname: Zwee
Zodiac Sign: Pisces
Appearance:
Originally brunette, Zuiko dyed her hair pale blue to match her favorite manga heroine. In her younger years, manga and anime were her favorite escape from reality. Now, it's changed to Brain Burst. But that's another section. Zuiko has a slim, very petite figure, standing at 4'10". Due to years of being basically a shut-in during junior high school, her skin is paler than the average Japanese girl, making her look more Western than her peers. Even her eyes are slightly wider, and oddly blue, furthering the theory that she has foreign blood in her veins though both of her parents were born in Japan. Zuiko is normally seen wearing a small frown on her face. She often likes to garb herself in a plain white button-up shirt with a navy skirt. During the winter month's, she takes a black blanket from her bed and drapes it over her shoulders like a mock cloak. Speaking of mocking, that's what the other students do when they see her do this.
Her Brain Burst avatar is a metallic blue woman with glowing blue eyes, light armor, and a bow that fires icy arrows. It is pretty immobile but has long range. She is immune to attacks from other ice users.
Combat Skills (Brain Burst):
- Disengage (she just does a giant backflip. It's useful to kite, but has a long cooldown.
- Homing Arrows (she nocks three ice arrows at once and they follow their target wherever it goes. Their pathing can be a bit dumb though.)
- Slowing Shots (her regular arrows, if they hit a target, slow their movement by a noticeable amount, decaying over time)
Combat Skills (Real Life):
- Punch, slap, kick. Basic stuff, but unfortunately she is pretty frail IRL.
Personality:She is quiet and reserved, your typical introvert. Preferring to be by herself and curl up in a corner with a good book or manga, Zuiko is not one for words. Her speech is as efficient as possible to get a point across....unless she is talking about art. Even when she's fighting inside of Brain Burst, she rarely speaks.
History:
Since this is my own RP, I get to keep this short and sweet and not put anyone to sleep (hopefully). She was bullied severely, has changed schools thrice, and found Brain Burst at the fourth school, Ujigami High School, when it mysteriously appeared in her neuro linker's recommended apps page. She has been a Burst linker for only three months, and in that time, has lost almost all of her points, except 3, and has never risen above level 1 (highest level being 9 right now).
Oh, and her parents are normal, working-class people but they really don't care and/or understand their daughter's situation. She's been different since birth to them, what with the neuro linker and being extremely reclusive. They probably will not play a monumental factor in Zuiko's development. Your character(s) will though.
(If it helps, here are two other CS for comparison that I've created for different RPs thus far. The first one, Lin, is for a free RP, but the second one, Menn, is for an advanced RP that never got off the ground. The third one I actually WANT feedback on as it's pending GM approval, so that's probably the one I should be asking for help with. >,>)
Name: Lin Yang (White people can have Chinese names too. -,-)
Age: 17
Ability: Flow walking. It's an ability from Star Wars (RIP extended universe books) that allows the user to see, but RARELY influence (only with spoken words and very exhaustive concentration, never physical action) past events that occurred within a short timeframe (I'll leave how long the viewable timeframe can be up to the GM since I'm basically an RP noob again). Also, even if Lin successfully manages to make her voice heard in past events, she cannot directly alter her own timeline.
Appearance:
Strength: Hand-to-hand combat. She's a scrappy fighter who can hold her own in fisticuffs (or footicuffs if that's a thing). She's also extremely loyal and overly protective to the point of physical violence, which can often be looked as both a weakness and a strength.
Weakness: Motion sickness on almost all forms of travel. (Yeah, yeah, Natsu Dragneel....blah blah blah) She also has to be within a certain radius of where she wants to flow walk. For example, she can't flow walk as a form of mind travel or whatever (that'd just be weird and OP).
Bio: Lin's parents died in a fiery conflagration when their private jet crashed somewhere in a far off ocean. Lin was orphaned at the age of three. As a result of this tragedy, Lin spent the rest of her childhood either in an orphanage or bouncing from foster home to foster home. Her parents had been cocky and never gotten around to writing a will or giving young Lin a trust fund, for they were rich stockbrokers.
So she basically grew up always wishing she could go back in time and bring her parents back. It took a long time, but on her seventeenth birthday, Lin's home city had an earthquake, a sinkhole opened up underneath her, and she tumbled into a sewer. Getting up and brushing it off like the tough as nails young lady she was and is, Lin Yang continued forward, bravely exploring the sewer system for a way out. Either fortunately or not so fortunately, she instead happened upon some toxic radioactive sludge dumped into the sewer by heavens-know-who and, after tripping on a large rat and falling facefirst into the stuff, she gained her power.
Upon emerging from the sewers, Lin saw that she was surrounded by old-timey automobiles and people in strange, very old-fashioned clothes. It turned out that she had flow walked back into the 1950s! Elated, Miss Yang experimented with this ability to no end, but found much to her dismay, that no matter how hard she focused, she couldn't bring her parents back. Ever since she snapped out of that initial burst, she has only been able to achieve very small flow walks of up to an hour in length.
Pretty soon, news stories started cropping up about more teenagers like herself developing essentially superpowers. While her own power was a carefully kept secret, Lin decided it couldn't hurt to apply for the school since she had nowhere else to go. In short, Lin has a fierce personality and can go between very mature and all jokes - of the practical or pun variety - at the drop of a hat. She is currently en route to the academy as a cargo ship stowaway and feeling very VERY apprehensive about it since she gets motion sickness from the PTSD of hearing how her parents died.
Age: 17
Ability: Flow walking. It's an ability from Star Wars (RIP extended universe books) that allows the user to see, but RARELY influence (only with spoken words and very exhaustive concentration, never physical action) past events that occurred within a short timeframe (I'll leave how long the viewable timeframe can be up to the GM since I'm basically an RP noob again). Also, even if Lin successfully manages to make her voice heard in past events, she cannot directly alter her own timeline.
Appearance:
Strength: Hand-to-hand combat. She's a scrappy fighter who can hold her own in fisticuffs (or footicuffs if that's a thing). She's also extremely loyal and overly protective to the point of physical violence, which can often be looked as both a weakness and a strength.
Weakness: Motion sickness on almost all forms of travel. (Yeah, yeah, Natsu Dragneel....blah blah blah) She also has to be within a certain radius of where she wants to flow walk. For example, she can't flow walk as a form of mind travel or whatever (that'd just be weird and OP).
Bio: Lin's parents died in a fiery conflagration when their private jet crashed somewhere in a far off ocean. Lin was orphaned at the age of three. As a result of this tragedy, Lin spent the rest of her childhood either in an orphanage or bouncing from foster home to foster home. Her parents had been cocky and never gotten around to writing a will or giving young Lin a trust fund, for they were rich stockbrokers.
So she basically grew up always wishing she could go back in time and bring her parents back. It took a long time, but on her seventeenth birthday, Lin's home city had an earthquake, a sinkhole opened up underneath her, and she tumbled into a sewer. Getting up and brushing it off like the tough as nails young lady she was and is, Lin Yang continued forward, bravely exploring the sewer system for a way out. Either fortunately or not so fortunately, she instead happened upon some toxic radioactive sludge dumped into the sewer by heavens-know-who and, after tripping on a large rat and falling facefirst into the stuff, she gained her power.
Upon emerging from the sewers, Lin saw that she was surrounded by old-timey automobiles and people in strange, very old-fashioned clothes. It turned out that she had flow walked back into the 1950s! Elated, Miss Yang experimented with this ability to no end, but found much to her dismay, that no matter how hard she focused, she couldn't bring her parents back. Ever since she snapped out of that initial burst, she has only been able to achieve very small flow walks of up to an hour in length.
Pretty soon, news stories started cropping up about more teenagers like herself developing essentially superpowers. While her own power was a carefully kept secret, Lin decided it couldn't hurt to apply for the school since she had nowhere else to go. In short, Lin has a fierce personality and can go between very mature and all jokes - of the practical or pun variety - at the drop of a hat. She is currently en route to the academy as a cargo ship stowaway and feeling very VERY apprehensive about it since she gets motion sickness from the PTSD of hearing how her parents died.
Menn Lutaro
"I am one with the Force and the Force is with me." - Menn "Menlo" Lutaro
-Basic Data-
Full Name: Menn Grax Lutaro
Homeworld: Iridonia
Born: 87 BBY (age 36)
-Physical Information-
Species: Zabrak
Gender: Male
Physical Features: He is 6'4" with a slim physique and average musculature. No particular distinguishing markings to speak of except on his face, which mark the Iridonian clan he was born into before being given over to the Order as an infant.
Cybernetics & Injuries: He has a cybernetic right hand after an accident where he rescued a small child who had climbed inside a bulk freighter's thruster nozzle. The child was unharmed, but the thruster nozzle's firing seared off most of Menn's right arm at the elbow. He was exactly 30 when this happened.
-Jedi Temple Records-
Role in the Jedi Order: Jedi Master
Padawan: Sia Awen
Mastered Force Abilities: Force Protect, Force Heal
Skills & Abilities: Basic slicing, intermediate medical treatment, and an uncanny aptitude for quick astronavigation (blind hyperspace jumps, finding things like jettisoned fighter pilot couches that have been neutralized by ion cannon and are floating dead in black space, et cetera.)
Combat Style: Menn is a Jedi Consular, meaning he focuses more on the use of the Force in combat as opposed to a skill-based Sentinel or a physically-oriented Guardian. He has mastered the lightsaber form of Soresu, which compensates for his lack of Guardian-focused physical prowess, allowing him to defend almost indefinitely while focusing on assisting his allies with the Force. Normally someone of such an impressive physique would be seen using one of the more powerful stances like Juyo, Shii-cho or Djem So, but not Menn. His philosophy is a good defense creates opportunities for a good offense.
Lightsaber: Menn's saber hilt is bone-white, carved out of a bantha tusk he bought while on Coruscant at the Jedi Academy. The saber color is most definitely green, as befitting a Consular (although the saber color can vary if the lightsaber's components are unorthodox).
-Personality Details-
Menn has near infinite patience. He is accustomed to long periods of waiting. Impulsive acts, especially ones that can lead to undue violence (especially loss of life) are about the only way to get any kind of rebuke out of him, let alone an actual rise out of him. Aside from being slow to anger, Menn has a jaded sense of humor well beyond his only thirty-odd years. He enjoys the occasional practical joke so long as it doesn't interfere with a mission, exercise cruelty, or leave someone open to fear.
He is the epitome of the strong, silent type. If something needs to be said, he prefers to be reactive as opposed to proactive. In fact, he is so reactive that he is prone to indecision. This could hurt him some day if he ever hesitates for too long on the field of battle.
-Biographical Information-
Being that Menn is one of those Jedi that were taken from their homeworld at infancy, there's not much to be said about his (Menn's) childhood. When he was nearly one-year-old, a passing Jedi Master by the name of Xila Neru, a female Zeltron, sensed the raw midi-chlorians within the young Zabrak and strove to contact his parents and ask permission to test the child. Upon that test reaching a positive conclusion, and after the experienced Xila had finished her diplomatic mission on Iridonia, she returned to the parents' home and explained to them what their child being Force sensitive could mean. In the end, Menn's parents reluctantly gave their child up to Xila who returned, baby Menn in her arms, to the Jedi Order.
Though she did not raise him directly, Xila followed Menn's progress within the Temple very closely between missions. It turned out that Menn's patience and kindness towards others struck a chord within Xila, who happened to be more of a firebrand. When Menn turned thirteen, the Council gave permission to release Venn into Xila's custody as her Padawan learner. This meant that Venn would remain at the Temple, but under instruction directly from Xila herself.
One difficulty in their training made itself clear early. Xila's chosen Ataru and Shii-cho lightsaber styles were not a good fit at all for young Menn. One day Xila spied Menn haggling with a Coruscanti merchant over the price of a bantha tusk. The way he argued his point so defensively while still remaining receptive to the concerns of the other struck Xila as a characteristic of the Soresu form: defense above all. Upon Menn's return to the Temple, Xila began instructing the young Zabrak in the ways of the Soresu form. Within a mere half an hour, Menn managed to master blaster bolt deflection from as many as seven drones. Master Neru could only stand off to the side and gape, though she quickly shut her mouth when Menn noticed. "I think....we found your style, my apprentice!" she exclaimed enthusiastically, grinning. "Don't be so excited, Master," Venn mused sagely. "I'm only thirteen and haven't grown into my adult body yet. I have a long way to go." It was then Xila realized just how special her Padawan was.
Three years of constant training later, Xila was officially awarded the title of Jedi Master and her apprentice received an actual Padawan braid; which of course he accepted with grace beyond his years while Xila was beaming ear-to-ear and could barely contain herself. The newly minted duo went on many a mission together; some successful and some ended so embarrassingly that neither Xila nor Menn wanted to speak of them again. Ever since his sixteenth birthday, Menn had constructed his first - and only - lightsaber, using the very same bantha tusk he'd haggled for three years ago as the hilt.
On one of those missions that turned out to be equal parts embarrassing and instructive, the duo had joined up with another Master/Padawan team and were the first in a long line of Jedi teams hoping to put an end to the endless civil war on Melida/Daan. Menn and Xila both got most of their clothes scorched off by a plasma grenade while the other Master/Padawan team could only look on in bemused horror. This taught the budding duo the important values of patience and humility. Patience because Xila had rushed into a fray without thinking, Menn following her blindly because she had never steered him wrong. Humility because no one is perfect, not even a Jedi. After Xila Neru's untimely death to save Menn's life in the ruins of Malachor III, this would remain as one of his fondest memories of his old master....though not because he witnessed a naked female Zeltron who was quite physically exquisite as was the norm for her race.
When Master Xila died via an ancient Sith poison trap, young Menn was not so young anymore, having grown up to be a fine twenty-four-year-old. He had been granted permission three years prior to cut off his Padawan braid, but he had refused, claiming that his bond with his Master overrode the need to be rid of a symbol of inferiority. The Council didn't bother to admonish Menn that padawans were no more inferior to their masters than vice versa. Menn had already demonstrated through his actions and words that being a Master was in itself a teaching experience. Words that caught Xila off guard yet again by the sage wisdom that seemed to pour from her apprentice's mouth on a daily basis.
Anyway, at age 24, upon his escape from the caves of Malachor III, hunted by a long dead Sith Lord Force-imbued spirit, Menn was granted the title of Jedi Knight and, with more than a few silent tears from Menn himself, his Padawan braid was ceremonially severed. He kept the braid with him at all times up until present day as a reminder of whom he had served for so long. For the next twelve years, Menn went on missions throughout the Jedi Order, always paying special attention to long, drawn out missions that required him to place his grief for Xila aside. Grief leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Well Menn was done being a slave to suffering. Instead he vowed to help end the suffering of others wherever he encountered it.
So it is written that Menn became one of the most decorated Jedi Knights in their thousand-strong corps of veterans. Yet he remained humble and kind through it all. Material gains and comfort meant nothing to him. At age thirty-six, there were rumors about Menn being the youngest person ever to be named to the Jedi Council after one Master of Yoda's species passed away. In an effort to distance himself from all the attention, Menn accepted an offer from Jedi Master Sa Tomar to come along with a group of younger Jedi Knights and apprentices on a secret mission to investigate the Hutt Cartel's most recent bundle of shady dealings. Another venerated, older apprentice about to be Knighted, Mace Windu, served as even more incentive to lure Menn away from the rumors beckoning him back to a more administrative role in the Order on Coruscant. For the first time in his life, Menn discovered that he had been craving action....and craving excitement was a road to the dark side. This thought planted a miniscule seed of fear in Menn's secret heart of hearts. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side.....
Sara Maxine Fawcett
“I don't always get shot at, but when I do...the shooter's gonna eat dirt.”
Age
23
Appearance
Sara is a tall, leggy female human with blonde hair, piercing royal blue eyes, and enough of an ego to take up three parsecs. Her fair skin is to her detriment as, without proper protection, her skin burns easily when exposed to harsh sunlight. Blessed with a teardrop face and a button nose, Sara is quite the distraction to both males and females alike.
Her gait is vaguely catlike. Whether she is preparing to attack or just plain tired, it's not uncommon to see her crouching at the knees, hands on or hovering over her kneecaps. Sara is able to run for long distances without tiring, though sprinting is much more taxing for someone with her high center of gravity.
She has a crescent-shaped scar on the back of her hand when another slave of the Venusian don went insane and bit her. As a result, her left hand has always been slightly weaker than her right. Thanks to Lunarian upbringing, as well as her dad's profession, dressing to the nines (and eights) is like breathing to her. It is completely natural for her to be seen wearing combat skirts and the like.
Traits
Sara is a weapons and security specialist. She knows how to batten down the hatches and "shoot the galdurn varmints." She's fairly dexterous with her hands, a needed skill for someone who cares for guns like they're her own children. A hardy runner, not many people have Sara's stamina at a brisk jog. Sara is loyal to whoever pays her, which happens to be the Magnitude's captain as of these past couple years. Another trait of hers is, however naively, sticking up for any obvious injustice or atrocity committed before her eyes. This can be disastrous given her trigger-happy personality.
Personality:
Despite her Lunarian fashion sense and smashing good looks, life has not been entirely easy for young Sara. As such, she's turned into quite the tomboy, becoming a weapons specialist. With that responsibility comes a certain amount of ego and pride at being able to bullseye a common street rat from thirty meters with a bloody handgun. Sara is arrogant to a fault; her hubris always causing her to butt heads with people when she wants her way on something.
In contrast to being relatively quick to anger and super prideful, underneath it all, Sara is fun-loving and, on RARE occasion, lets the other three occupants of the Absolute Magnitude see her lighter side. Despite any harsh words she might bark without warning, she loves the rest of her crew currently and thinks they work well together.
Likes:
- Absolute Magnitude, she thinks it's a nice ship for its price range and especially likes its shipboard weaponry.
- Being waited on
- Attention
- Combat (shooting and kicking mostly)
- Guns
- Power
- Trying on new clothes, though she'll be extremely xenophobic if aliens are encountered
- Playing Gandolball. (A gandolball is an elastic glass sphere that cages a poisonous gas. TY @oakman ^.^)
Dislikes
- Inaction (she's very impulsive)
- Feeling awkward/weak
- Tattoos / body art (is okay with piercings though)
- Mushy-mushy crap
- People who waste time and/or opportunities (could be inaction-related or about drugs/liquor)
Past:
Sara was born on Luna (the moon obviously) to Gregory Fawcett and Luxana King-Fawcett. Until she was 11, she had a perfectly happy and normal childhood. That is when excrement hit the fan. Sara's father was a wealthy Chief Operating Officer for a mega-chain of clothing stores spanning the colonized Milky Way called Regalia. He also happened to be partaking in some disreputable business activities on the side with a mafia-of-sorts on Venus through which he was profiting immensely. As these activities tend to go, the mafia in question began demanding more and more resources of Gregory and his company. When he finally became more of a hassle than help, they put a large bounty on his head.
Gregory, who was negotiating the opening of a Regalia store on Saturn at the time he heard of the bounty, dropped everything and rushed back to his Lunar home where only child Sara and mama Luxana waited. It took him (appropriate amount of time) to reach home, but much to his dismay, he found that Lux lay dead on the floor, her throat cut. Sara was hiding in the house's attic, clearly a victim of PTSD, and she didn't speak for a week despite every attempt by her father to coax her out of her hidey-hole.
So began the chase, where Gregory took his daughter and fled on their luxury shuttlecraft from planet to planet, all the while avoiding Venus like the plague. During these formative four years, Sara grew into a capable young woman at an early age. After a close call on the moon of Europa where the Venusian's bounty hunters shot at them, Greg taught his daughter to shoot a handgun. Sara took to guns like white on rice, learning to clean and disassemble a rifle in under a minute, then have it reassembled in another minute. Her first rifle came as a sixteenth birthday present from her dad at a black market on Io.
Without a source of reliable income having quit Regalia, Sara and her father had to resort to conning people out of their money. Some of the schemes they worked up were so outrageous and transparent that they failed, but most of them worked with varying degrees of success. A strange bond developed between father and daughter. One of Sara's favorite memories of her father was him telling her, "If you know all the cons, you'll never be a sucker!"
As it turned out, those words would come back to bite Gregory. When Sara was seventeen, she and her father were scheduled to meet with a potential "buyer" of a small deep space fuel depot located between Jupiter and Mars. Little did they know until it was too late that their client was actually the don of the Venusian mafia himself. They were trapped within minutes, bound and gagged and led back to Venus at gunpoint the whole way.
Once on Venus, both of them were severely mistreated mafia prisoners, sold into slavery to be "bought" by none other than the don himself. He instantly set the father to grueling work in one of the Venusian underground rice paddies with long hours and meager rations. He kept post-adolescent Sara as a personal concubine, whoring her out against her will in fancy dresses and makeup to make "business" contacts at high-end parties that he would not otherwise have had access to. With the looming threat of her father's death, Sara was forced to obey the don's wishes and experience a whole new kind of horror. As a result, Sara became very prickly, distant and tough emotionally and physically. Most of the time she managed to defend herself when a client asked for her hand in bed, but there were a handful of times where she was overpowered and overcome with rage and grief. She vowed to herself if she EVER got out of this shithole loop, she would do well for herself.
After four years of this indentured servitude, Sara met the captain of the Absolute Magnitude who took pity on her after she saved his life at a dinner party by stabbing his would-be assassin in the eye with a fork and "bought" her away from the don. He couldn't buy away her father, but that's because neither Sara nor the don bothered telling him. She had long since assumed her father was dead one way or another. In the ensuing firefight to escape the dinner party turned madhouse, Sara had shown off her accuracy with a small blaster and the captain's eyes got wide as saucers to see this woman in a fancy dress shooting with so much precision.
As a result, roughly three years later, Sara works security under Poole for her beloved ship. Any who threaten their tight-knit group are filled with lead.
Shortly after being invited by Captain Poole to join the crew of the Magnitude. Sara manages to get her hot little hands on a quarterstaff from a weapons' merchant at one of their ports-of-call on Mars. It's a lightweight weapon, suitable for her minimal upper-body strength, flexible wood with a comfortable grip in the middle, short sharp blades on either end. She keeps this slung over her back most days.
Strengths
Combat Skills:
- Masterful use of sniper rifles, regular unscoped rifles, shotguns, pistols, and spaceship turrets. Is still learning, and not that good with, remote-operated shipboard cannons (controlled from a cockpit, etc.)
- Has one hell of a roundhouse kick (prefers clawing/scratching/slapping to direct fisticuffs if the need arises).
- Being extremely resourceful while in combat, using terrain and certain objects to her advantage.
- Uses a quarterstaff for melee attacks. Quarterstaffs don't necessarily hit that hard, but they are mainly used by dexterous individuals with lightning reflexes. By no means is she close to mastery of the weapon yet.
Social Skills:
- Extremely intimidating to outsiders (not so much to her fellow shipmates who are used to it)
- Could potentially seduce people with her beauty, but it's a very sore subject from her days as a concubine. If the captain asked her to, she would probably break his jaw.
Other Skills:
- She speaks the language of Saturn, Titanean, fluently and can translate.
- Advanced knowledge of Space Combat and ground combat jargon.
- Sara is currently attempting to master use of a Japanese katana (see history)
Bed Skills:
- If she isn't on top, she will find a way.
Weaknesses
- Arrogant to the EXTREME (can lead to overconfidence in herself and the severe underestimation of others)
- Despite being good with guns, her upper body strength is lacking
- Fear of snakes and spiders
- Allergic to peanuts
- Can be easily thrown off-balance emotionally if she lets someone get too close (which leads to her being distracted from a job at hand and thus, carelessness).
- She's not the most diplomatic person, and is very trigger happy.
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