...OR IS IT!?
Monokuma theater director here: Monokuma!
Funding was cut, so I have nothing to say about this what-if scenario.
If you want me to say something about that, please boot up Danganronpa 2 and read the light novel about Mukuro. I give an excellent theater presentation of what-if ideas.
If you don't own DR2, then go buy it!
Or youtube it, ya cheap skate!
The elevator came grinding to a halt. The inertia felt even less pleasant with both occupants' trying to wake from a chemically induced sleep. When their eyes fully opened, they were both propped up against the wall of the elevator.
Shona Moffett groaned and brushed a strand of her aqua colored hair out of her face. She was having difficulty remembering exactly what happened prior to her nap. Shona remembered reenacting a joust duel.
Wait, no. She almost remembered dueling a centaur and losing. That couldn't have been right though, could it have?
“Shit!” The words came from a rugged looking man in fancy clothes. Davis? She never met the man, why did she know his name? Perfection looked at her out of the corner of his eye. “See something you like?”
The knight was quick to look away. “I did not mean to stare. It's just you remind me of someone.”
“Really?” The man raised his hand as if to offer her an invisible loaf of bread. “You know who I am?”
Shona nodded. “You're Davis Gallo, but prefer to be called perfection. I'm... ”
“Shona Moffett? I thought you would have been...”
“Taller?”
Davis grinned. “Is this the twilight zone or what?”
Shona tipped her head towards the door.“You're going to address the elephant in the room now.” the words “ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE” were written on the door in what looked like blood.
“Abandon hope all the who enter here... Heh.”
Shona blinked. “You know old english?”
“Yea, some unused letter called thorn (þ), looked like the letter wynn (ƿ), 'ye' is properly pronounced as 'the.' I can't remember all the specifics but I thought...”
“...I told you that?”
Davis blinked a few times. “This is getting really fuckin' creepy.” Davis stood up to give the doors a solid kick before falling back down again.
The doors started to slide open. Shona placed a hand on his shoulder. “Let's not leave.”
“Huh? Why not?”
“I'm not ready to abandon hope yet. So I don't want to walk through that door.”
Davis looked at the knight for a bit before reluctantly nodding. “Alright, if you insist.”
After a good five minutes passed, the doors shut again. This time the blood had been smeared and read something much different.
“Abandon despair all the who enter here?” The elevators doors didn't just shut, they could hear it moving. Before long, the doors opened again to a room that looked the same. The knight stood up. “Alright, now!”
It almost felt like they had stepped into a labyrinth. But they were completely aware of where they were.
“The layout is definitely familiar.” Davis folded his arms. “Just about every floor in the patient's quarters has this layout. Yet... It feels familiar for other reasons.”
The static on a wall mounted TV snatched the duo's attention. A bear would mock everyone before the monitor went back to black.
All of the elevator doors started to slide open at once. Shona looked back at Davis. “Alright, let's just act normal.”
Shona's armor, face, and blade were aptly smeared with the carnage sister's “blood.” The infinite knight was clearly living up to her name, dispatching three carnage sisters in the span of seconds. Shona felt like she had already done all this, like she was just going through the motions. The knight knew it wasn't going to end well, but didn't know what else to do.
“Come fight me, bear.” she swung her sword, splattering the wall with hydraulic fluid.
“Okay, okay.” Monokuma waved his hands. “I'm not going to lie, this is starting to scare me a little bit. But um, what say we stop playing around with the cannon and address the real problem.”
“You are the real problem.”
“No, behind you.”
Shona knew it was futile, but turned around to face her end. The centaur once again presented itself. There was nothing she could do differently. However, it would seem Alexandria decided to do something different. She sped past Shona, not even attempting to attack the infinite knight. Monokuma stared at his adopted daughter, completely god smacked, as she impaled him and pinned him to the wall. But not without impaling her with his spike traps.
Monokuma arced with electricity. “You were nothing but a doll after all.” The bear coughed. Alexandria was not able to show a lot of emotion in her current form, but she looked more hurt by the bear's words than the spikes draining her of hydraulic fluid. “You are such a... disappointment...” both robots collapsed, and all the spike barriers lowered.
“W-what just happened?!” Davis's voice cracked. But no one answered. Instead, the results were presented:
| Voter | Selected |
|---|---|
| Davis | Good lookin' babes |
| Mondatta | Happiness |
| Mary | Cookies |
| Quill | Attention |
| Mason | Any of those fine boys |
| Cyrus | Cyrus |
| Krista | Puns |
| Daimyon | A Beautiful Mind |
| Calvin | Beer |
| Caora | Hope |
| Shaun | Caora |
| Isaiah | The kids |
| Aleecia | Nariko |
| Shona | TIME OUT |
EVERYONE BUT SHONA VOTED FOR THEIR IDEAL PARTNER
“WHAT?” Davis pointed. “Why didn't more people vote for me? I-I brought this down on -” Davis looked more carefully at the list. “I mean... Why didn't you vote for me?”
“Please relax Davis.” Mason was the one who spoke now. “Technically I voted for you.”
Perfection turned to look at mason.“Bastard! I don't think you understand-”
“We can't choose the ones who love* us, Perfection.”
*(Yes, Mason was gay. I'm not poking fun at his sexuality.)
Davis just groaned.
“So anyway.” Usami managed to grab everyone's attention. Because like where the hell did she even come from!? “Since no one chose to abandon hope, I was able to come swooping in and save everyone! Love love!”
Felix had no lasting injuries. The spear hadn't even pierced his flesh. The other infinites that didn't vote showed up in okay shape as well. Kara looked like she was in good health.
“So that was it...” Davis growled like a lion. “The whole point of this was to test our hope wasn't it?”
“Ding ding ding, BINGO!” Usami jumped. “I knew Shona couldn't resist the chance to jump in and save her friends. But isn't that the type of character you want to reward?”
Mason clapped his hands together. “So now what?”
Usami sighed. “I guess we're going to rotate you, Quill and Rika into another quadrant, because your roleplayers don't post here anymore.”
Rika played a tape. “Wot?”
Usami's ears wilted. “Basically, you won't respond to anything the other infinites do.”
Rika rewinded the tape. “Wot?”
With a shrug, Usami walked the infinites into an elevator and sent it on its way. “Okay, so the real reason why you've all been gathered here is to be on the infinite love show!” Usami giggled. “You're here to find your match, and make lots of friends.”
“Hmm, I suppose it is time I start thinking about settling down.” Shona scratched her chin. “Calvin would be a good choice for me, as we share a lot of interests. Then again, a relationship with Cyrus also presents its benefits. I liked our talk in his room. Daimyon wrote a pretty sweet poem about my death, so that might be an interesting avenue to explore...”
Davis threw up his arms. “Why don't you just fuck everybody!”
Shona spun around and fret her brow. “Why Davis? Did you want to go on a romantic retreat with me?”
“Well, uh...” Davis looked around. “If not you, than someone a little closer to my age like...” He pointed at an elevator. “Junko Enoshima.”
“Like oh my god! I didn't think anyone would notice me standing here.” She let out an annoying laugh. “Perfection Perfection yass queen!”
“Eh...” Davis raised an eyebrow. “You're a valley girl? I wasn't expecting that.”
Shona shifted her eyes side to side. “Do they even have valleys in Japan?”
“Oh yes!” Junko 's smile was so broad she had to close her eyes. “Iya valley is actually very beautiful this time of year. It's been faithfully recreated on the third floor. But that gave me too much hope, so I destroyed it and installed something else instead.”
Davis raised his other eyebrow. “Wait, but why?”
“Hold onto your butts people, because I'm infinite despair!”
“So...” Shona folded her arms. “You were the mastermind this whole time? I thought you died?”
“Like, shut up you slut!” the valley girl was all smiles. “People get the order things happened in all wrong. I wrote it down somewhere. You should totally read the revised chronological order.
“Okay...” Davis turned towards Shona. “I think the magical bunny and Junko are likely crazy. We should probably go along with their fantasies for now. Just to prevent them from doing something drastic.”
The knight nodded. “A sound plan.”
“Like, I can totally hear you.”
“So!” Davis began. “What would you like us to do?”
“Basically, I want to do a junko-doll cafe, except people are aloud to flirt with the waitresses. But like, I'm totally not a fan of sexual harassment charges. So it just makes more sense to use slave labor to collect resources and build the robots I need. ” She scratched her chin with her pinkie. “Well, you won't really be slaves. I'll totally pay you with trip tickets.”
“Trip tickets?” Shona inquired.
“Cheah! Trip tickets let you go to places where you'll collect resources, except now you'll be going on friendly getaways!”
Davis shook his head. “That doesn't sound romantic at all! Moreover, we don't even really need tickets to do that. I mean, we will be working in these places together, right?”
“Well I am totally despair and stuff.”
“But Junko.” Shona gave the infinite despair a sideways glance. “Why do make a junko/doll cafe then? Won't that create some form of... hope?”
“Well like-” Junko was a natural blond, clearly. “I guess there are like two reasons. The less important reason is the roster is over saturated with guys. So we need to build more woman to accommodate them.”
“And the main reason?”
“For despair of course!” she giggled. “The more hope you feel, the greater the level of despair you can fall to!”
“Uh...” Davis made a weird face. Kind of like a mix between a frown and a smile. Almost like he was trying to convey a certain air of smugness, but his disappointment leaked into it. “So if despair can be made from hope, doesn't that also mean that hope can be made from despair? Isn't it kind of foolish to pursue one or the other? Any despair you create will just lead to a hope of some kind.”
Junko threw her hands up in the air. “Fine, like yea, there are totally plot holes with everything! What did you expect? I dreamed all of this up when I was fifteen!” She was starting to cry. “I'm actually... the infinite flip flop!” With a sob, she spun around. “G-go find some other holes to fill, that, totally, aren't plot holes!”
Shona sighed as the vally girl ran off. “I thought you said to go along with her fantasies?”
“I couldn't help myself.” Davis looked around. “Wasn't Bliss Buckley suppose to make an appearance?”
“Who?”
“Right.” Davis folded his arms. “I guess she appeared after you died.” Perfection spun on his heel. “Well, I guess we're stil lstuck unless we build more carnage sisters for this 'doll' thing.”
Shona nodded in agreement. “I also think we should build some monokuma units for the girls.”
2x Laugh
