The Unfortunately, Fortunately Game (unofficially closed)

[Mattchstick]

This is an ongoing story game, in which each post begins with either "Unfortunately" or "Fortunately," alternating between people. One sentence per post, silliness is encouraged, anything is possible.

For example,
Person 1: "Fortunately, the bullets missed us."
Person 2: "Unfortunately, they hit a civilian."
Person 1/3/etc: "Fortunately, the civilian was a communist spy trying to steal the launch codes."

First post: There was a bank robbery today.

[0 Azzy 0]

Fortunately, it was a beautiful day.

[Mae]

ahh, this old chestnut.

Unfortunately, seagulls were out on mass, attacking pedestrians.

[SleepingSilence]

Fortunately, all the pedestrians were assholes anyway.

[Mattchstick]

Unfortunately, some of victims were very nice people in disguise.

[Scarescrow]

Fortunately, I am a douchebag so I don't care about those people.

[Mattchstick]

Unfortunately, neither do the bank robbers, and they're trying to use them as hostages.

[0 Azzy 0]

Fortunately, the bank robbers were the seagulls to begin with!

[ArenaSnow]

Unfortunately, you wake up, and all of the above was just a really shitty dream.

[Majoraa]

Fortunately, it was a dream.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Unfortunately, the waking world is far, far worse.

[Mattchstick]

Fortunately, there are lots of memes to look at.

[0 Azzy 0]

Unfortunately, they are all reposts of reposts of reposts of reposts of reposts...

[Mattchstick]

Fortunately, someone made a new meme today and it's actually pretty dank.

[Scarescrow]

Unfortunately, the person that just created that meme was involved in the car crash while posting the meme by using his phone. The car crash killed at least 23 people, children included.

Don't text and drive.

[ErsatzEmperor]

Fortunately, no one else was harmed.

[Mae]

Unfortunately, those 23 people were the only ones immune to the zombie virus sweeping the world.

[CollectorOfMyst]

Fortunately, the human race is inferior to the might of the race that would rise in their zombified absence.

[Mattchstick]

Unfortunately, the new race is racist.

[Darcel]

Fortunately, it was just another dream.