"They said it couldn't be done, but I'll show those fools!"
"At last! It's finished! I'll admit, it took every nut, bolt, and fusion core in the Wastelamd, but I finally made it! My very own Intermolecular Teleportation Device! Now I can go anywhere I please with just the push of a button! Hell, maybe this thing could even take me back in time! What do ya think, ED-E?"
The quirky blonde gave a beaming smile as she pulled off her welding goggles and unzipped her jumpsuit suit a little. It was starting to stick to her skin with all the sweat worked up by her hard labor. "Ahh...much better!" She sighed with relief.
The little eyebot buzzed around the teleporter then landed beside her with a few low beeps emitted.
(Translation: I really think you drank too much Nuka-Cola. Does this thing even work?)
The blonde laughed patting the robot's metal frame, "Bah! Of course it works, dummy! I just haven't field tested it yet, but today's the day! Oh! That reminds me! I gotta record this in my log!" Excitedly she hopped in her ratty, old office chair and swiveled around to her desk, pressing a button on her teeminal.
"Ahem! Moira Jameson here! Day um... What day is this, Ed-E?"
Ed-E gave another series of low beeps.
(Translation: I was right. Your brain is fried! You don't even know what day it is anymore!)
"Ugh! You're no help!" Moira grumbled and resumed recording. "Anywho uh...who cares what day it is! My journey across the Mojave was totally worth it! Sadly, I didn't strike it rich in Vegas, but I finally gathered enough materials to complete my masterpiece! My very own Teleportation Device! I can't wait to see this baby in action! Just think of all the amazing places it'll take me! I'll admit, this first test may not go so well, but that's the breaks of discovery, right? Anywho, time to fire this baby up and get this show on the road! Wish me luck! Ok, end transmission... Ugh! I said END you stupid-! Oh...right. I have to push the button."
*click*
It was time. Moira whirled around her in her chair giddy with laughter...insane laughter in Ed-E's opinion. "Okay Ed-E! Start it up!"
Slowly the robot hovered over to the device's control panel, another retort of berps and clicks as it pressed a few buttons and the machine came to life in a dazzling array of flashing lights and electrical sparks!
(Translation: Yep, you're definitely crazy!)
Moira hopped into the main chamber, a fond wave to her friend. "Well, this is farewell, for now my little rust bucket! See you when I get back! WOOHOO!"
In a blinding flash, Moira vanished before the robot. Ed-E floated around for a moment, a blank stare towards the scorch mark where the machine once stood.
Then he realized... Does she even
know how to get back?
"Whoooooaaaa!"
Within seconds of leaving her bunker in the dry and arrid Mojave Wasteland, Moira found herself plummeting through the sky, high over a land of tall, majestic mountains covered with snow, and lush, green forests of coniferous trees.
It worked! Oh fuck yes! It worked!! YES! I am such a genius! That'll show those bastards I'm more than just some lazy tinkerer! Ha! Take THAT, Elder McNamara! W-wait...I'm still falling! OH NOOOOO!!!*SLAM!*
She landed smack dab on the ground, her face buried in something wet...warm...and foul smelling.
"Ugh...oww...my head...my arms...my boobs...everything hurts..." Moira groaned, her vision blurry, her mind in a daze as she lifted her head off the ground. The mysterious substance was still caked on her face as she rose. What was it? The answer was clear when she heard a neigh...and found a horse's ass in front of her.
"AUUUGH!! EWW! EWWW! EWWWW!" Frantically she wiped clobs of dung from her face, about to gag from the wretched stench. "Awww..." She sighed gruffly. "Why do my inventions always land me in a pile of shit? Huh?" Suddenly she gasped. Her eyes widened in awe of the scenery, the beauty of nature completely restored before her. "It's...it's beautiful! So this is how the world looked before the war! I can't wait to-"
*SHING!*
"Uh-oh!" Immediately she turned pale.
"On your feet, Stormcloak!"There were hundreds of them, men clad in armor similar to Roman soldiers, drawing blades to her scrawny neck. Moira had only one assumption as to who they were.
Aww fuck me! It's the Legion! Knew I should've brought my plasma rifle! Well, looks like it's off to the slave pits for me. I just hope they'll be gentle with my fragile body. I'm still a virgin!"Uh....H-hi there!" She waved at them giving a goofy grin. "So um...I'm guessing you guys probably don't know, but is there a shower around here? I really need to get this horse shit off my face and-"
"I said on your feet, Stormcloak! Now!" The lead soldier barked again pressing his sword deeper into her neck. She could practically feel the cold steel biting into her skin.
"Okay! Okay!" She panicked slowly rising to her feet as ordered, her hands held up in defense. "I'll come with you peacefully, but I have like no idea what you're saying. Stormcloak...is that some kind of raider tribe? They got a cool name, yeah, but I'm not a-"
"Oh for Arkay's sake! Someone shut her up!""Hey you jackass! That's no way to speak to a wom-"
*THWACK!*
"Owwie..."
All it took was a pommel to the back of the head and Moira hit the ground, out cold. The soldiers surrounded her and bound her wrists.
"Just who in the name of the Divines is this woman, Legate?" A soldier asked his commander.
"I've not the faintest idea, soldier." The Legate replied, his brow furrowed as he glared down at the unconcious woman.
"But she can join the rest. Get her on the cart. We've a long journey to Helgen."
