Rabidporcupine

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

"Éadrom."

᚛ᚕᚐᚇᚏᚑᚋ᚜

Joseph dug through the rubble, the runic tag he'd attached to the rock glowing a bright teal, reducing it's weight from that of a small car to somewhere around that of a bowling ball. He heard the sounds of someone sobbing not far from where he was kneeling, but he did his best to push it from his thoughts, instead forcing himself to focus on the task at hand, and the light of the tiny, glowing coin hovering just above the earth before him.

He had been lucky, if you could call it that. Despite what most people would call common sense, he had still been awake when the landslide took place, busy as always with the task of replenishing his runes for whenever the next incident rolled around. It had allowed him to get a brief glimpse of the disaster firsthand, three of his surveillance arrays alerting him to the atypical rumbling of the earth. He only had a split second to connect his vision to one of them before the wave of earth engulfed it. He'd confirmed that the vision through the other two were similarly obscured as he'd gotten himself ready, and by the time the alarm had gone off, he'd already been halfway to the scene, speeding through the streets on his worn-down old scooter.

After a quick check to make sure nobody was in the path, he threw the chunk of rubble a little way behind him, already turning back to the next piece as it landed in the dirt with a thud.

"Éadrom." He repeated, going through the process once again as he dug in what was otherwise complete silence.

It wasn't until he heard a few voices he recognized that he looked away for a moment, letting out a weary sigh of relief as he realised his usual crew from HERO had made it to the scene. Even if it was still only a tiny few of them at this point, the fact that two of that few were Amuné and Jareth, a clairvoyant and a terrakinetic, might be just what they needed to make the ending of this whole mess significantly less tragic. It also sounded like Eva was doing her best to make sure they were working with some semblance of an actual plan which would be extremely helpful, as he knew how difficult it could be to just wrap your head around the situation in disasters like this, struggling to even think of where to start.

Of course, he could help a little in that regard too, even if it was only by helping them figure out where to look.

"Hey guys." He sighed, turning back to his digging as he spoke. "I've sent out a group of seek runes, the flying coins, to search for signs of life under the rubble. Heartbeats, breathing, calls for help we might not be able to hear, that sort of stuff. If you see one that's just floating in place, there's someone under there. From the feel of it, I think they've found about four so far, but it's only been maybe ten minutes since I sent them out, so there's a good chance they're still ok, and the runes just haven't located them yet..."

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

Joseph was about to object to the idea, preferring not to leave Blast on his own. As easily as Gholem had seemed to go down, there was still a chance that the mad scientist had more up his sleeve. No, it was especially because of how easily he seemed to go down, actually. It felt too easy, and in Joseph's experience, that usually meant it probably was.

However, before he could say anything out loud, he got a message on his watch, his face going even paler than usual as he read it.

Megumi and Rupa's situation had deteriorated, apparently. He'd thought they'd be ok without him, considering the only threat he'd been shown during his interview was Rupa being held at gunpoint, something he'd assumed she'd be able to deal with fairly easily with her powerset. But now Megumi was saying it had devolved into a hostage situation of some sort, leaving them unable to act on their own.

"... I'll go on my own. Dahlia, you should stay with Blast for now. The way we beat Gholem felt too easy, and there's a chance he might have activated more than just these machines, or still had contingency plans prepared in case something like this happened. Even you'll have trouble dodging a bullet if you don't see it coming, better to have someone else to watch your back, just in case."

As he spoke, he pulled off his suit jacket and chucked it to Eva.

"Take this, just in case. The enchantments are running low on energy after that last fight, but it should be able to block at least twenty to thirty more bullets. That's only a 'should' though, not an 'is'. Don't rely on it for anything other than keeping you alive for more than one or two shots while you get to cover."

Finally, he pulled out another paper tag with a new runic array on it, activating it and handing it to them.

"Call me with this if something happens. I'll come running as soon as I know Gematria and Alchemist are ok."

And then he turned back and ran towards the door, pulling a pair of tags from his pocket and throwing them at the hinges.

᚛ᚄᚑᚁᚆᚏᚔᚄᚈᚓ᚜

At first, it seemed his incantation did nothing, the tags themselves simply sticking to the hinges and glowing for a moment. That all changed however when he actually reached it, the hinges tearing like foil as he pushed the door out of its frame without stopping.

"Al, can you take care of telling me where to go? I'm gonna try to contact Gematria." He asked the AI in his watch, before sending a quick reply to Megumi as he ran. "Safe to talk or being watched?"

Finally, he took one last protective measure. Taking off the pair of round, dark glasses he'd used to keep up his blind facade, he pushed them into the pocked of his shirt and waved his hands upwards from the sides of his neck towards his head, as if putting on an imaginary hood. The gesture was accompanied by another incantation, and a series of bandages rose from the collar off his shirt to coil around his head, wrapping around it completely, only leaving a few random locks of hair sticking out from certain points. Their positioning was in no way random however, as a second incantation caused three eye-like arrays identical to the ones on his tags to light up on the front, each written across multiple bandages and yet still remaining perfectly aligned.

Sure, it wasn't exactly going to be 'blending in' with the other guests, but that didn't really matter anymore far as he was concerned. Their presence there was already well and truly exposed, so at this point, he wasn't going to worry about anything other than getting everyone else out alive.

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

Joseph nodded as Jake and Eva recognized him, the fact that that the speedster had gotten his name wrong not really annoying enough to outweigh the fact that they were both actually alright.

"Yep, John here." He grinned at the pair. "Sorry, would've called ahead, but I ended up rushing a little to get here after my meeting was over, so I guess it sorta slipped my mind... Guards outside did seem to be pretty tense though, so yeah, if they gotcha on camera, I'd say they're probably already on their way."

He nodded again at Jake's plan, more than happy to get through this without wasting too much time. During the brief period of time where they waited for him to check for traps, he couldn't help but overhear Eva talking to one of the others over the comms. He was about to say something about how Toreador might have potentially known Peterson wasn't the real one behind all this because he had read the man's mind, which she might be surprised to learn was actually a bit of a common tactic among mindreaders. However, before he could make his smartass comment, he found himself cut off as she rounded on him, chewing him out for coming to the mansion and messing around in their mission because he was bored of his.

And maybe it was because he'd been caught off guard by getting cut off, or maybe it was more from the sheer amount of stress and panic he'd had swirling around in his gut from the moment Spencer had shown him the divinations of both groups being overwhelmed, but for just a moment, Joseph felt his persona slip.

"Are you serious?" He asked, the smile he worked so hard to keep up whenever he was around other people disappearing completely from his expression, replaced by genuine anger. "I'm not here to screw around, I thought you guys were gonn-"

However, before he could go any further, he managed to catch himself, forcing himself to bury the frustration and fear he'd felt. It was his own fault she thought he'd be here for something like that, after all. He was the one who put the act up in the first place, people thinking of Joseph Moore as nothing more than a lazy good for nothing was the whole point. He couldn't go getting pissed at her for believing he was the person he made himself out to be...

And so, after taking a second to clear his head, he looked back to her, the lazy smile plastered across his face once more.

"Uh, sorry, just... uh, just pretend you never saw that, yeah?" He asked, briefly ducking his head apologetically. "Pretty sure Jake would've taken care of any traps by now, so we should be good to get going, I reckon."

Honestly, he couldn't deny that he'd kind of hoped he could just find everyone, get them in the van and get the hell out of there before something actually did happen, because even though he was sure at this point that whatever Spencer had shown him was at least bullshit in the way that it clearly hadn't been taking place at that moment like he'd claimed, it had still shown Jake and Eva in that wine cellar, in the middle of an assignment the other magus hadn't even been supposed to know about. So even if what the ICOSA agent had shown him wasn't going to happen, odds were good that something was, and he didn't want anyone to be caught up in it when it did... However, he also understood that the mission was more important than something which may or may not actually happen, so at this point he could only hope that they could get it over and done with quickly.

This sentiment was only reinforced when they entered what was very obviously a workshop, and if what he'd seen in the three years he'd spent living adjacent to the Hag's workshop was any indication, this was almost definitely some sorta gearhead like she was... Though the combination of the generally 'villainy' vibe and what he was pretty sure were bloodstains on the floor led him to believe this one might be just a little more evil than she was. Maybe.

Either way, it immediately had him even more on guard than he had been already, eyes darting around the room, when he heard Jake's suggestion to go check up on the others while he stayed to keep watch. As much as he did want to go find the others as well, however, he had absolutely zero intention of splitting the team up even more than it already had been and leaving the guy there on his own. Before he even got a chance to open his mouth and say as much, however, the door slammed shut behind them. He cursed internally, frustrated that he hadn't expected it to do that ahead of time, and taken some sort of measure to prevent it before letting Jake and Eva get caught in what he should've recognized as a blatant trap.

His hand tightened around the handle of the white cane as the machines marched out, followed by an elderly man he recognized as Gholem. Perfect. The old man was the whole reason everyone was here in the first place, so all he had to do was take him out and they could end it right now!

It looked like Jake was one step ahead of him though, going from standing beside he and Eva to beside Gholem within maybe a second, tops. He then immediately proceeded to beat the man to the ground in a move that Joseph was honestly a little worried someone as old as him might not be able to survive, but he couldn't really complain, since he was planning to do pretty much the same thing if Jake hadn't. However, he'd seen those robots twitch as the old scientist had messed with that remote, and he didn't let his guard down, even though he really wanted to...

Unfortunately, there was no such luck, and he watched in horror as the robot beside Jake took a shot that would've killed anyone who couldn't move faster than the bullet being shot at them. Thankfully, Jake could do that, and the team jumped into action, Joseph already dashing forwards before the speedster had even finished speaking. He heard Eva instructing them to avoid getting close to her as he ran.

"Right, I'll take these ones!" He shouted back, rushing towards a trio who were a little further back. He held his arms in front of his head as they raised their gun arms, sending a volley of bullets in his direction. Luckily, Joseph had gone into this mission fully expecting to be shot at, and had therefore spent a good couple of weeks stitching multiple layers of defensive reinforcement arrays into each and every part of the outfit in preparation for it. As such, while too much damage would still cause the enchantments to burn out, and each bullet still did hurt like hell, they didn't penetrate the fabric, bouncing off it and falling to the ground mostly harmlessly. Once he was close enough, he reached into his pocket and threw a runic tag at the closest robot, attaching itself to it's 'head.'

᚛ᚈᚒᚏᚏᚐᚔᚅᚌ᚜

The rune immediately glowed a bright purple, before the robot started to spasm in place, sparks and other electrical discharge arcing across it's frame. Not wasting a second, Joseph ran right past it, instead dashing at the automaton to its right, white cane raised above his head as he shouted another incantation.

᚛ᚈᚏᚑᚋ᚜

With his words, the last segment of the folding white cane glowed red with multiple strings of ogham, briefly increasing to well around fifty times it's normal weight as he brought it crashing down on the already barely armoured robot, literally crushing it in half. To the electrified robots left, the third robot raised it's gun to continue firing at him. In response, Joseph reached back to the first one, deactivating the electric array and quickly dodging behind it, getting it shot by it's comrade in his place. From there, he simply spun around the now thoroughly finished off first robot, swinging the cane back around and increasing the weight of the end again mid-swing to smash through it's torso with the sheer momentum.

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

If he had to be honest, Joseph wasn't really fully paying attention as he left HERO Three, his mind focused on trying to figure out just what to do next. He knew he was going to the party, that much was certain. Not only was it the one he'd been prepared for already, having initially been assigned to the mission before they'd learnt he couldn't get out of his assessment, but he also knew that the recycling plant team was actually sort of stacked when it came to heavy hitters. He was almost certain that they'd be able to beat down whatever threats they might be faced with. Meanwhile, the party team was made up more of people whose powers were suited for infiltration, which was the logical choice, considering what they were there to do.

At least, it had been until whatever Spencer had shown him had occurred.

True, there was a more than significant possibility that it'd been a trick by the other mage, but even on the off chance it hadn't been, he had to get over there, and fast. As he reached the parking lot, he paused, looking down at his left arm. If he wanted to get there fast...

No. No, that would be stupid. Odds were he'd just get himself killed trying that. Wouldn't be much help to anyone if he died on the way there. Instead, he got into the large, grey van he'd driven to HERO Three in the first place. Technically, it was the Hag's van, and he'd been promised a fairly miserable fate if he brought it back damaged, but he was sure she'd understand if it was, given the situation. Besides, he'd known the grumpy old woman long enough that he was at least, oh, sixty percent sure it had just been a joke anyway...

He decided not to think about that any longer, instead focusing purely on the task at hand, and sped away from the building. Thankfully, it wasn't actually that far of a drive to Passenger Island, and it only took about fifteen or so minutes to reach a good spot to park. Not at Peterson's estate, because if he drove a van like this one in there he'd probably be shot, but close enough that he could get out and run to the building in about a minute. However, first, he had to check whether he was gonna be going in through the front or not.

ᚓᚔᚈᚔᚂᚃᚐᚔᚏ

As he mumbled the incantation, he threw a number of rectangular strips of paper out of the van window, about eight in total, before going to the back of the vehicle and beginning to get changed into his disguise. Before the paper hit the ground, they froze in the air, a blue pattern of runes briefly glowing, before they started gliding towards the mansion. Upon reaching the building, they spread out, hanging silently in the night sky. And through them, Joseph looked down, the vision in his right eye syncing up with the arrays.

From what he saw, it didn't look like going in through the front was going to be as possible as he'd hoped, the security guards seeming more than a little tense. Guests weren't running out of the building or anything, so at least things hadn't really gone off the rails or anything in there, but it looked like there was at least something going on.

However, luckily enough, shifting the arrays around to the side of the building showed that there was one spot that didn't seem to be in any of the guards direct line of sight. Likely because the only possible 'entrance' in that spot was what appeared to be a third story window, with almost no reason for anyone with half a brain to try and sneak in through there rather than just risking being spotted by the guards in one of the easier spots.

Which meant it was perfect for him.

Finally, he finished getting dressed, stepping out of the van in an honestly uncomfortably nice, formal suit, a blonde wig, and a pair of particularly dark round sunglasses and a white cane, because if someone found him somewhere he shouldn't be, being legally blind seemed like a pretty damn good excuse for it. Sneaking into the estate, he kept a wide birth from the mansion until he reached the angle nobody had been looking at, and then quickly dashed towards it, all while trying to keep as low as he possibly could. Once he reached the wall, he pulled up the sleeve of his right arm, revealing the bandages he kept woven around it, and lifted his arm up towards the window.

ᚄᚘᚅᚉᚑᚏᚅᚐᚔᚄᚈᚐᚏᚏᚐᚔᚅᚌ

With his incantation, just like with the paper tags, a series of runes briefly glowed on the bandage, and-

"Hey, who the hell are you?!"

And alerted security to his presence, apparently, because it'd been a while since he'd had to be particularly stealthy, and he'd somehow forgotten to keep the glowing runes covered up while hiding in the darkness... On the plus side though, he didn't need to waste any time awkwardly stalling, as the bandage had already uncoiled from his arm, shooting up towards the window and looping around something above it, before just as quickly retracting and pulling him up to it. While he'd originally been planning a more careful, stealthy entrance, it looked like this was gonna have to do, and he covered his face with his free arm as he threw himself right through the window, landing with a pained grunt on the inside.

He barely took the time to brush the glass from the smashed window off himself before he was already up and running. He recalled the observation arrays as he ran, stashing them back in his pockets and trying to figure out his next move, the sounds of the security guard shouting to his colleagues down below. From what he'd seen in Spencer's divination array, he knew that Rupa was... somewhere in here, being threatened by someone with a gun.

Which meant she was almost definitely fine, because it was a ferrokinetic being threatened with a metal gun. He just hoped she'd be able to hold herself back, and not beat the guy up too badly. Unfortunately, while he still would've liked to go and back her up just in case, he had no way of really finding where they were, not having anything similar enough to what he saw in the divination for him to use his seeker runes on. What he did know, however, was where Jake and Eva were.

It had still been hard to tell, but Joseph knew a wine cellar when he was one. And that meant he just had to keep going down.

More than aware of how little time he had, he dashed through the halls, finding the stairs within a minute, and all but throwing himself down them in his rush. Once he was on the ground floor, he threw his observation arrays out again, sending them to the ceilings and directing them from room to room, until he eventually caught sight of another stairwell going downwards, and quickly snuck his way over to it, withdrawing them back to his pocket again in the process. As he descended, he slowed down a little, holding the cane out and generally doing his best to act blind, deciding now was as good a time as any to put the disguise to use. Especially since he could hear voices down there, but couldn't determine just who they were yet, and with how jumpy security had already been combined with what Spencer had shown him, he wasn't feeling especially optimistic about who he'd run into.

"E-Excuse me..." He said, putting on a vaguely Irish accent as he stepped down, acting nervous and apologetic. "I'm sorry if this is somewhere I'm not s-supposed to be, I'm afraid I've gotten a little bi-oh wait, it's actually still just you guys?" He blinked, genuinely surprised to see that it was still just Jake and Eva down there, and not an army of security personnel. "Well... gonna be honest, wasn't really expecting that, but great! You guys alright? Looked like things weren't going super great in here from what I saw."

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

Not long after the previous occupant left Randolph’s room with some sour comments about the situation, Randolph himself surfaced, leaning in the doorway to the appropriated office space as he looked across the waiting room. ”Stray, correct? A word, please,” the British man said as he beckoned the hero forth.

Joseph looked up at Randolph, nodding and getting up out of the couch.

"And I’d just gotten comfy too…" He sighed exaggeratedly, though he was grinning as he did. "Alright, let’s get started, probably pretty overdue for some sorta therapy anyway, right?"

Despite his eager act, on the inside he was tense, more than he’d been in a hell of a long time. In just a few words of direct acknowledgement from the other mage, he’d already brought up something that set Joseph on edge. Odds were that it was an intentional move, meant to intimidate him by showing they knew all about the secrets he’d hoped to keep buried, all the things he’d wanted to leave behind. Magician probably figured it’d make him more willing to cooperate.

In reality, it only made Joseph want to do what he did best, and disappoint him.

”Not exactly therapy; I’m no licensed psychologist. But you might find this…therapeutic,” the ICOSA operative said ominously as he guided the hero into the barebones office, taking a seat once again in his chair and reclining back to a comfortable position.

”You have a very barebones file here,” Magician noted casually as he picked up and opened a manila folder on his little stack. ”Small village, all paper records, blah blah blah. Very nice little story. And a magus, too. Very few of us actually end up working on this side of the law, so kudos to you.” Magician chuckled to himself.

”But there is something that is bugging me, because as it happens, your face is…well, it’s familiar,” Magician mused as he expertly played with a deck of cards that Joseph should have been able to tell, based on their similar metahuman capabilities, were all inscribed with runes. He casually removed one card, the Queen of Hearts, twirling it a few times in his fingers as he put the rest of his cards away. ”So, of course, here’s my question, which I expect a truthful response out of you for.”

”What happened at Granborough, exactly?”

Joseph raised a brow behind his sunglasses.

"Jeez, bit of a heavy topic to start out with, don’tcha think?" He asked, casually leaning back into the chair. "Don’t you know you’re supposed to go at least a few arcs only making subtle references to that sorta thing before really getting into it? Can’t just jump into a guys dark, tragic backstory right from the get go, it ruins all the tension."

”Enough games.” Magician slowly stood from behind his seat, resting both of his hands on the desk. ”I know, and your superiors certainly know, that the story about your regular life is bollocks. I also know, from firsthand accounts, that you’re involved in some way, and that whatever happened turned you into the drunken, lazy bum you are today.” Magician looked directly into the shady lenses of Joseph’s sunglasses. ”So let’s get into it. I’m sure it will be cathartic for you, at any rate. Who wants to sit on all those secrets for so long?”

"Oh? I thought you liked games! Isn’t that why you’re always prepared for ‘em?" Joseph asked, his grin only growing wider as he reclined further back in the seat, legs crossed and arms behind his head. The more Magician talked, the less nervous he felt, realising he didn’t actually know a damn thing about the situation. By the time the ICOSA-aligned magus had finished his spiel, Joseph didn’t even have to pretend he wasn’t having fun anymore.

"Alright, so in order, yeah?" He asked. "Ok, so first, you might think ya know, but really, you’re making a random assumption, with no real evidence other than your own hunch, which is a bad look, gotta say. Second, pretty sure ‘firsthand accounts’ aren’t the most effective evidence, ‘specially not in what’s pretty much a warzone. Smoke, ash, all sortsa debris floatin’ around in the air, trauma and stress and panic all whirlin’ together in your gut, in your head. You could see pretty much anything and be convinced you knew what it was, when it was actually just your brain playin’ tricks on ya. Third, little harsh, isn’t it? I’ll have you know I’m up before dawn most days, in bed by eight, and I haven’t been drunk in months."

Technically all true, as he was consistently still up at about five in the morning, turning in around sevenish usually. The drunk bit wasn’t, but he had been finding himself taking more and more drinks to actually get drunk in recent years, so who knows how long it’d stay a lie.

"Now all those mistakes already make you look pretty silly, but there’s an even dumber mistake you made on top of all that. Because, see, you asked me who wants to keep sittin’ on secrets all this time, but apparently forgot that you’re talking to someone who considers sitting around for extended periods one of their specialties."

Magician sighed, clenching his face in his hand in frustration and allowing his fingers to slide along the side of his face until they released their grip. When he looked back up at Joseph, though, he hardly seemed peeved. In fact, he was…smiling? Unusual. ”Clever. Listen, Mr. Moore, or whoever you are. I’ve tried a similar bargain with Ms. Jennings, albeit for different reasons. Now, well, I’m going to have to dip into my bag of tricks a little bit.”

Magician held up the card that he had still had between his two fingers: the Queen of Hearts. A card that he flipped over to reveal a particularly intricate runic array. An array so complex, that it would seem impossible- or perhaps impossibly dangerous, or perhaps both- to have been drawn so compactly onto the back of what appeared to be a playing card, of all things. On top of that, the etchings of the rune were not made in blood, but in some type of powdery, teal-colored, chalk-like dust, and it seemed to be ever-so-faintly emitting a soft glow.

”You can save the questions for another visit. Perhaps we’ll even find a bigger office to operate out of,” Magician joked. ”But let’s not dilly-dally. This array, much like the Queen of Hearts herself, symbolizes emotion. Connectivity. So let’s look at what it can see.”

Magician flipped the card over to reveal the face side of the card, the part of the card that usually showed the symmetrical image of the Queen’s stoic face and rose-holding hand, yet instead, the card was brightly shining blue light. And in the midst of this blue light, images began to form, almost like holograms, but real and not science-y. Images of some of the other people that Joseph had met at HERO, except in real time. The wine cellar, the upstairs study, the recycling plant, images of all of them shimmered before Joseph’s eyes like a bad reel of film.

”I’ll explain how this array works.” Magician said with an arrogant smirk, as if he had just revealed to a caveman the concept of ‘the wheel.’ ”Though perhaps some modern fancy-pants scientists would disagree, thoughts and emotions are real. Perhaps not tangible, but they certainly weave into the fabric of reality that makes up what us Magi have called ‘the Code.’ Ooh, what’s this?” Randolph asked (rhetorically) as the vague, misty images of the other HERO agents were now being overrun by what appeared to be dark, shadowy monsters, as the entire ‘projection’ disappeared. ”Looks like trouble for them! What a pity. Quite the tool, though, hmm? Naturally, I’ve crafted this card to register events as they happen right now. But with a few changes, I could easily engineer it to look into the past.”

Randolph now stood, resting both hands on the table. ”You see what us Magi are capable of. I’ve crafted sigils beyond your comprehension, my unfortunate American friend.” Magician folded his arms. ”Poor, stupid Ms. Jennings didn’t believe that I am far more powerful than I let on to many. I hope that you aren’t short-sighted enough to think the same. So here’s my ultimatum. Either you tell me your past, and we can sit here and perhaps establish a mutually-beneficial partnership of sorts- well, more of a mentor/mentee relationship, but I digress- or, you run off with your tail between your legs, and I do some divination on my own.” Randolph smirked. ”I give you an option because, frankly, there aren’t many Magi out there. To see one, in the flesh, perhaps with some budding potential- it does fascinate me a little bit. And it has earned an inkling of my respect.”
”So, what’ll it be? Note that it’s getting late.” Randolph looked at his watch. ”Wouldn’t want you to miss any important evening events, at any rate.”

Joseph’s smile faded as he saw the array on the back of the card, not enough for it to disappear entirely, but definitely enough to show he was taking it seriously again. The images of his colleagues projected from the runes further strained it, and he looked up to Magician, all the amusement gone from his body language.

"Well, I’ve gotta say, that is a neat trick…" He said, his voice low. "I’ll give you credit, most magi would’ve erased themselves far earlier on in the experimental phase of an array like that. The way you’ve laid a lot of the runes out in celtic knots to draw on the symbolism, so you can use the connections between people and the concept of the endless cycle to strengthen the divination, it’s pretty damn clever."

He sighed.

"It really is too bad you’re so goddamn unpleasant…"

Joseph shrugged, shaking his head with an almost pitying smile.

"Afraid I’m gonna have to turn you down, Randolph. See, while I’m flattered you think so highly of me, I actually already have a mentee, so I feel like it’d be a bit rough on me to try to take on another one. Not to mention that outside of your magic ability, you just don’t seem all that bright… I mean, your plan to get me to sit around and tell you my life story was to show me my dearest colleagues were in danger and imply I might not have much time to save them? All that shows me is that you don’t know how to not get in your own way, and I’d rather not try to teach a student who doesn’t know how to think ahead more than a few minutes."

He stood up, nodding down at his fellow mage.

"Anyway, like you said, it’s getting late, and I only got fifteen hours of sleep last night, so I reckon it’s probably about time to call it here..." He said with a yawn. "Thanks for showing me your cool array by the way, I’ll absolutely be stealing the design."

Magician chuckled. ”First, I never said I think highly of you, just that I think you are slightly more intriguing than your boorish counterparts, which frankly is saying very little. Second, I’ve already acknowledged the fact that tonight’s session will not be productive. All I ask is you hold on to one of these.” Magician removed a card from his coat, flicking it over to Joseph. It was another 4 of Clubs with a slightly less impressive (but still complex) design than before. ”Communication rune. You accept this, and we set up a meeting over some tea and crumpets, perhaps. That’s all I’m asking if you want to leave. If you try and throw it out, of course, I’ll know, and if you try and run away without accepting it…well, actually, I encourage you to try either option. My patience has already been taxed enough by this organization. Your disobedience may prove the straw that breaks the camel’s back.”

"Ah, I see, so it’s HERO in general you’ve got an issue with, huh?" Joseph asked, raising a brow in amusement. "Well, in that case, even if I can’t actually accept the role of being your mentor, I’ll at least give you a little bit of friendly advice, and say maybe, you know, don’t? You might have a really, really terrible personality, but I’d still hate to see a young mage with as much potential as you get messed up like that…"

Still, he picked up the card, giving it a quick once over to make sure it really was a communication array and not some sort of trick, before nodding and slipping it into his pocket.

"Well, funny you should mention that, because I also put together a little communication array when I heard we’d be talking tonight, made it especially for you!"

He reached into his pocket, pulling out a card of his own.

It was a Yu-Gi-Oh card.

"Anyway, yeah, just keep practicing. You’ll get to my level eventually man, I’m sure of it!" He said, passing the card to Magician. The fact that the card in question was Dark Magician had no deeper meaning, definitely. "Oh, and if you do happen to see the dead guy you’re looking for when you inevitably go looking at my past anyway, try to remember all the things we talked about today, and consider whether or not you really wouldn’t rather just let him stay dead."

And then he turned to leave, yawning again.

"Anyway, it’s been a long couple of minutes, so I think it’s about time for me to get back home and turn in for the night! See ya next time, Card Trick."

Magician chuckled as he waved Joseph away. ”Yes, go ahead and…turn in for the night,” he added sarcastically, quickly making his way over to the door and holding it open for him, before swinging it shut on the way out.

After the fellow Magus exited, Magician casually removed his cell phone from his breast pocket- a very dated-looking flip phone- dialed in the number, and pressed it to his ear. He paced around the tiny office as it rang. ”No luck with any of the people you requested, Commander…I’m sorry for the delay…right. You don’t think that they’ll…of course. I’ll speak with Perez immediately…yes. Roger.”

With that, Magician removed the phone from his ear, a devilish grin growing on his face. ”Oh, Hugo. How the mighty will soon fall.” He glanced up at the flickering light in his isolated little chamber. ”Finish off the rest of your loyal little lapdogs, and then, I’m coming for you.”

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

"Dibs on the second one!" Joseph said from his position on one of the couches, slumping into it as far down as he physically could. "Gettin' a bit late, y'know? Wanna try to make it back home before I miss too much sleep..."

He shrugged, before looking to Spencer, a lazy smirk on his face.

"Unless, that is, you'd prefer to get this over with now. After all, I imagine there's a little more you'll wanna talk about with me than just my mundane issues, eh Randy?"

Of course, there was a pretty strong chance he was looking way too deeply into it, but in his defence, looking to deeply into things had been the only thing that kept him alive on more than a few occasions. This was even more important due to Spencer himself. Because as his hero name suggested, Magician was, in fact, a mage. Mages generally didn't get along with other mages outside their own direct bloodlines, and unless he'd missed something very important in his family history, that didn't apply here.

That being said, until recently, Joseph had also thought the general magus stereotypes didn't really apply to Magician, given what he'd been able to learn about the man. Upon actually seeing him in person, however, he could tell that the other mage was just as smug and self-important as any other he'd met. Maybe even worse, honestly. And if what they said about his accomplishments were true, then this was a magus who had been capable of fighting an entire nation on his own.

So, yeah, Joseph figured a healthy sense of paranoia was justified at this stage. But, thanks to his brilliant acting skills, he managed to keep any of those thoughts from showing in his expression or body language, instead schooling them into that same mask of irreverent laziness he'd so carefully honed over the last seven years.

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

Joseph watched on, his smile fading slowly as he watched everything devolve into chaos almost immediately after his speech ended. At first, he thought that things might go well, with Feng backing him up. However, that hope quickly disappeared as Fallout stated how pointless he thought trying to negotiate with them was, only to promptly shut up the second Luna showed up, also supporting his argument that the pair of villains should give up in her own unique, terrifying way. Before he could get his hopes up again though, Rupa seemed to decide it was taking too long, rushing forwards to punch Albino with a metal encased fist, likely attempting to free Eva from his grip. And from there, any hope there might have been to settle it peacefully vanished, instead replaced by a fight that went about as long as he'd told them it would.

Although Rupa's strike didn't make proper contact with Albino, the brief struggle as he attempted to dodge ended up with the knife he'd been holding to Eva's throat going into her shoulder instead. While that was obviously pretty bad, it did give her the opening to spin around and paralyse the pale man, dropping him in moments. At the same time, Megumi had launched herself on to Jellyfish's head, absorbing the electricity from his body and leaving him collapsed beside his partner.

For just a fraction of a second, Joseph couldn't quite manage to keep his face under control, looking down at the two unconscious villains with an expression of genuine pain.

And then it was back to normal, the annoying, lazy grin from before back on his face once again.

"Well, guess that goes to show what happens whenever I actually put in the effort and try!" He laughed. "Lesson learned, never doin' it again."

He sighed. From how Albino had reacted, it didn't sound like he'd actually had any intention of going along with it either, but still... he'd really hoped that they would...

Looking around the group, he spotted the first priority, and walked over to Eva, digging a smallish rectangular piece of paper out of his pocket, activating the runic arrays covering it and handed it to her.

"Here, put this over your shoulder." He said. "Won't fully heal you, but it'll at least stop it from opening up more or getting infected and stuff til you can reach a proper doctor."

"And as for you." He said, turning to Rupa, before pulling out another small piece of paper. Unlike the other one though, rather than runes, this piece simply had a phone number on it. "Yeah, not sure if Emily bein' knocked out means the scavenger hunt is cancelled or not, so I figure better safe than sorry, you know?"

Finally, he also looked over to Feng, Luna and Megumi, giving them all a thumbs up as well.

"And yeah, thanks for backing me up there guys!" He said with a grin. "I mean, yeah, I was absolutely just making it up as I went along so I wouldn't have to fight, and I'm not sure Albino was planning on listening in the first place, but still, the help definitely helped, I think."

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

Joseph jumped at the sudden voice, letting out a yelp that was definitely fake, and totally not the result of him genuinely getting so distracted by following his coin that he hadn't noticed the twelve-inch-tall action figure until it was right next to him. Still, it was only a momentary shock, and he quickly regained his composure, staring down at it in confusion, because holy crap, one of them actually decided to follow him.

"Oh... I mean hey! Gematria, right? Good to meetcha, good to meetcha!" He said cheerfully. From the sounds of it, this was the one who seemed to have some level of respect for him for some reason. He actually felt kinda that he was about to let her down. "So, look, just gonna cut to the chase, I was actually sorta planning to just find somewhere quiet and hide there til the hunt was over. That way, I'd have a valid, irrefutable excuse to give Powers' number to someone I know is gonna prank the living hell out of him with it."

Truly, it was the perfect plan, one Joseph expected would in no way be immediately called out by the perpetually grumpy director.

However, it appeared that even if he would have been able to convince Gematria to go along with, a fifty fifty prospect even with her unusually favourable attitude towards him, luck just wasn't on his side. Down on the beach, a little way from where they'd all first gathered, something was happening. A couple of figures standing around one who had collapsed. At first, he thought something must've happened to one of the newbies, which would be both concerning and a little depressing, considering it was only one minute into a non-violent exercise. However, upon making his way a bit closer and hiding behind a rock, he tensed up, realising that the body on the ground was Emily.

"Takaki, hop up on my shoulder and stay as quiet as you can." He whispered to his current companion. "I'm gonna see if we can't sneak a little clo-"

However, before he could even finish his sentence, he watched as everyone else converged around the three figures, including his more experienced colleagues. Honestly, he was pretty relieved, because it looked like there was going to be literally zero need for him to step in. Still, he wanted to keep an eye on the situation just in case.

At first, it seemed to go well, with his fellow heroes quickly recognising the situation at hand jumping into action.

And then everything promptly went to hell.

"Ah, crap..." He sighed, as he realised he'd fallen for the same trick with Jellyfish's electricity as everyone else had, because now Albino was behind Eva, a knife to her throat. "Alright, change of plans. If the jellyfish one tries to attack me, I'm gonna need you to take him on, yeah? He uses electricity to attack, so I figure you're our best bet. Wait til he attacks first though. There's something I wanna try first."

And then he stepped out from behind the rock, slowly walking towards the group.

"Ok, so first of all, sorry to steal your thunder, but you won't be breaking any records today. The lady you have there is in fact an experienced hero with a good few missions under her belt." He said to Albino, before turning to Jellyfish. "And you, afraid you've got things a little mixed around. Ya see, Mire here may be more like you than like us. That's true. But what Mire wants, the only thing they want, is freedom. And what you're tryin' to offer right now isn't freedom. All you're offering is a chance to run away, and never stop running. Just like you two."

He grinned at the pair, stopping close enough that he wouldn't need to shout, but not so close that they'd feel especially threatened.

"But instead, why don't I turn that offer around and throw it back at ya?" He asked. "Because, well, I feel like you might have a better shot turning yourselves in instead."

Joseph held up a hand, his fingers out.

"Ya see, Holiday is someone who decided to quit heroing because he liked hurting people, quit vigilantism because it didn't give him the fame or glory he wanted, and decided to become a murderer to get all three. Blade is an assassin, a hired killer who's been taking lives longer than most of us on this beach have been alive, and doesn't seem to have plans to stop anytime soon. Gholem wanted to make murderbots for the police, and when everyone else said 'no that idea sucks,' he threw a tantrum and made them anyway, putting untold numbers of lives in danger because of his own pride."

He lowered a finger for each member of the five he listed off, before pausing, giving the pair a moment for what he'd said to hopefully sink in a little. After a few seconds, he continued, turning to Albino first, and Jellyfish second.

"Dirk. You grew up miserable, bullied mercilessly all because of a skin condition. In the end, you lashed out, because who wouldn't? You got backed into a corner, with nowhere else to turn, so you defended yourself, and in turn you were preconditioned to think hurting people was the only option that would get you anywhere, because it worked. People didn't bully you anymore, and hey, maybe if you kept it up, people would never think about trying to bully you ever again. Kevin, you had it even worse. With the transformation caused by your powers, you didn't even get the chance to live a life like everyone else's. Like Mire, people are afraid of you, and yeah, a good chunk of it is probably because you're a villain now, but you weren't at the start, were you? They were scared because they thought you looked scary, and you were backed into a corner."

He looked between the two of them.

"Now, I'm pretty sure you both know what I'm getting at by now, right? While Holiday and Gholem were villains for stupid, petty, selfish reasons, and Blade's reasons are about as unknown as everything else about her, I'm pretty sure you two never really had any other option. And maybe you actually did, in reality, but you couldn't see any other options, and now you can't see a way out. And I get that. It sucks, but it happens a lot. But we can help you. We can help you find a way out of this whole mess, and give you guys a shot at living a life that doesn't leave you either constantly fighting or constantly running."

He paused again, his smile turning a little more devious.

"And sure, you could try to fight us now, in which case it will not be a fair fight for you, and you'll probably just end up getting either stabbed, shot, poisoned, paralysed, melted, burnt, electrocuted, thrown into the stratosphere, devoured by a mushroom, devoured by a human, turned to metal, torn apart at an atomic level, or getting some really nasty paper cuts in the little bits of skin webbing between your fingers, all without actually managing to do anything to my beloved colleague there.

OR, or, you could let her go on your own, agree to turn yourselves in peacefully, and instead of fighting against you, you can let us fight to help you. Half the idiots here've been on your side of this conversation before, after all. We'll help you live a life you can be proud of again, you just need to give us a chance. To give yourselves a chance."

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

Joseph felt a sudden shiver run down his spine as he heard a voice saying his hero identity with something that almost sounded like... respect. Admiration even... Naturally, this left him mildly horrified, since he was pretty sure half the heroes in the organization didn't even remember his name. Hell, half the heroes he'd personally worked with even!

Behind the sunglasses, his eyes darted around, and it didn't take long for someone who... may have been the perpetrator, a younger-looking woman wearing glasses, who seemed to be blushing and staring at the ground. Now, Joseph may not have been a smart man, but that was mighty suspicious...

However, he put his weird social issues aside, as he listened in on the instructions for the scavenger hunt? He didn't get a scavenger hunt for his orientation day! He was almost about to ask Emily what was up with that, but fortunately, he was distracted by the sudden outburst from the mushroom man, shooting spores everywhere in anger at the fact that they were playing for plants. Before he could get involved, he watched as two of his fellow currently employed heroes spoke to the sapient leftover, Fallout either accidentally or intentionally antagonizing them, and Dahlia attempting to defuse the situation.

Honestly, it'd be a pretty bad look if he just sat back and let them deal with the frustrated fungus on their own. No, it was his duty as a hero to step in and assist his colleagues in this endeavour.

"Yeah, c'mon bud, we're all the same side here, right? Let's try to calm down and get along..." He started. "'specially since the part you're angry about is still wrong. Those are plants. You are a fungus. Completely different kingdoms. Also that's actually called a pyramid, not a fortune cookie. I'll let that one slide, since I'm guessin' you're a little new to the big city..."

Before giving the seething shrooman a chance to respond, he turned back to Emily.

"So anyway yeah, while I'd personally have be absolutely thrilled to join, I think I'd better make the responsible choice and sit it out, since if I joined, it'd basically be cheati-"

And then his ears pricked up, causing him to spin around to face the apple girl who'd called him homeless when he'd arrived. It seemed she was challenging him... Intriguing...

"Miss Apple Girl, if you think I would be baited into a challenge for just twelve dollars and eighty-seven cents... you're absolutely right, I'm in. Don't have Emily's number because she has standards, but I can give ya Powers' number no problem! If you win, of course..."

He turned back to the assistant director, pulled a coin covered in strange lines and markings from one of his jacket pockets, and casually tapped it to the pyramid she'd been holding.

"l o r g c u i l"

And then he withdrew it again, the lines starting to glow. Grinning, he flipped it into the air, only for it to hang there, suspended for a moment, before zipping off.

"Alright, sorry Eva, Applegirl, but I've got twelve eighty-seven to win! Anyone not competing against me can come along too, but the money's mine, I need it for survival! The card too I guess... Anyway, see ya!" He said, before rushing off after the enchanted coin.

《 Super H.E.R.O. 》

---

Joseph blinked and spluttered, choking on his own drool for a second as he woke up in the nice, quiet, hidden corner he'd found for himself in one of the lower levels of H.E.R.O. One. After a brief, unsettling moment where he was forced to genuinely consider the possibility that he may actually suffocate then and there, he eventually managed to cheat death once again. Truly, the life of a superhero was fraught with peril.

Looking down at his wrist, he grimaced a little, the holographic face of one Hugo Powers telling him that he needed heroes to help him with something at the... Oh right, that festival was today, wasn't it? Sounded like fun. Also sounded like somewhere the hag would be too grumpy and elderly to go to. Even more appealing! Looking back down at the tiny hologram of his boss, he listened as Powers asked them to go over in an actual professional, polite way, far more than the usual, which tended to just be the man barking at him to 'get off his lazy ass and do something'.

Which was exactly why he decided not to go.

If he went now, it'd ruin the hilarious dynamic they had going right now! What would he do if he accidentally Pavlov'd the guy into thinking he'd be able to get Joseph to do stuff by treating him with actual respect? Disgusting. Horrible. A future he had to avoid at all costs.

No, instead, he stumbled up from the basement, blinking again as he stepped out into natural light, and once he'd adjusted, made his way out of the building. Initially, he'd just been planning to get to his trusty scooter and go back to his place, hopefully without the hag jumping him in the process, and maybe getting some extra runic arrays ready for later. However, as he actually made it out the door, he couldn't help but notice there was actually a rather large group of people standing out on the beach. On closer inspection, these people appeared to in fact be new people, likely fresh recruits.

He took a second to weigh up his options. On one hand, he could go back to the shed he called his home, likely get yelled at by the hag for whatever reason she decided amused her the most, and then proceed to lock himself inside and bleed himself half to death to write even more runes than he already had prepared. On the other, he could stick around here, meet these new folks, and act as a representative for what life in H.E.R.O. was really like...

The decision took him all of five seconds. Honestly, it was the responsible thing to do.

"Nah, should be fine, I reckon..." He asked as he approached the group, only catching the part where the girl with the apple got worried about eating it in front of the fungal man. "Apple's a fruit, and that guys a mushroom. They aren't even actually plants, pretty sure..."

He nodded to Emily.

"Duff." He said, pretending to be a normal, tolerable human being for once, rather than the horrible example they both already knew he was probably going to be. "Guessing these guys are new hires, right? Exciting stuff!"

He sent her a quick thumbs up, knowing full well that to anyone who knew him, the gesture was the opposite of reassuring, despite probably looking relatively normal to the other attendees.