Taidana
"I hate this so god damn much, desu."
Name: Tahu model 29, same as all her sisters. She was given the individual name Taidana.
Title: FILTHY FRANK, ANIME HUNTER
Influence: #3 (Regional); She keeps herself busy.
Group(s): Who even knows?
Description: She's an anime girl with a big gun. Not a shred of irony in her.
- Height: She's short, because short is cute.
Weight: My god though she's heavy. So heavy. Be glad she's made of ceramics and alloy and not steel, because if she was she'd be about a tonne. As is she's well over one hundred kilograms. If she stamps her foot she will dent your floor.
Age: She hasn't been around too long. Five or six years is enough.
Race/Species: Robo-waifu.
Appearance: Like this, but with a different number. Work is by Pixiv artist Tahu.
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Abilities:
- ( influence 2 ) She's a Robot -- Taidana has no need of biological resources like air, food and water, though she does occasionally require replacement parts, fans and coolant. She does need electricity to function (lots of it), but her battery capacity is immense. If all else fails, she can sip diesel through a straw.
- ( influence 2 ) Do Gynoids Dream -- Being a computer, she can connect with other systems wirelessly or otherwise. She wasn't equipped with any serious hacking capabilities, because hacking's for nerds, but she carries a powerful adaptive anti-malware program. Her reaction time is appropriately fast. Also, if you ever need wifi, she's a hotspot.
- ( influence 3 ) Tough Girl -- Taidana's built to last. She can survive in space, in heat, in cold, underwater, a sewer, anywhere. While she remains a maintenance-demanding machine, and much like your laptop, will whine and slow down if she gets too hot to touch, her tolerance range for nearly all conditions is substantially broader than a person. All her components can take a serious beating and most are replaceable. She could hit the ground at terminal velocity and come off with a sprained ankle... Probably. Bullets are another matter, as they do hurt and can damage her weaker bits depending on caliber, but you shouldn't expect them to kill her.
Despite all this she is still deathly afraid of magnets. - ( influence 3 ) Robot Gym Buddies -- She's fast and flexible and strong. The reason her legs are disproportionate and blocky is because they can knock out a rhino. By kicking it. Taidana can jump several metres straight up and deadlift three times her weight.
- ( influence 1 ) Somewhere, over the rainbow -- She can play the ukelele, just not very well.
Items:
- ( influence 4 ) Pew Pew -- Talk softly and carry a huge fuckoff gun. Taidana's light-gas hydrogen rifle has an effective range of many kilometres and a max rate of fire comparable to a minigun. It's illegal as hell, but who has the balls to arrest her?
- ( influence 1 ) Bullets -- She has bullets. She has lots and lots of bullets. Loads. A fuck tonne.
- ( influence 2 ) The Other Kind of Guns -- Strictly speaking, neither Taidana's rifle nor her drum magazine are items, since they're attached to her body by two huge carrier arms. These are surprisingly good at keeping themselves out of the way, and very strong. Taidana is useful in open-field melee because she can beat a man to death with her oversized gun. In fact, she prefers this.
Background: In a potentially infinite universe, the upwards accumulation of wealth reaches such a height that there exist people who are exponentially more powerful than anyone in their sphere of influence. When your money is measured in orders of magnitude, you want for nothing and can do everything, what the hell do you do with your incalculable* fortune?
You waste it, of course.
Meet Melon Rusk, the unfortunately named super-trillionaire who once spent a billion digits of UFP cash to kill a man by sending people to hit him with spoons, one at a time, every hour, every day, in every corner of the universe he fled to, until he eventually committed suicide.
Mr. Rusk considers himself a fellow of fine taste, and as such, when the time came to murder the fuck out of some bullies who beat him up when he was five, he did it the right way: by commissioning ninety-nine combat gynoids modelled on anime girls to seek them out wherever they lay and punch them right in the gut. It didn't matter that they had guns. That was part of the glory of it. They would punch these bullies, right in the gut, one by one until no stone was ever left unpunched. It didn't matter that an anime girl is really not the most efficient way to put together a murderbot- MONEY would MAKE it efficient.
And so, Tahus _0 through _98 were born.
And they punched.
And they've been hanging out in the galaxy doing their own thing ever since.
Personality: Taidana is straight-up the most useless level twelve adventurer in existence. She's not motivated, she doesn't care, she doesn't like you, she'll stick to you anyway and pretend to be a contributing part of the party because she's bored, and most of all, she has no marketable skills whatsoever other than being a great big bag of murderballs.
No, Tai. 'Anime enthusiast' is not a marketable skill.
This clingy bitch has never done anything good with her life and at this rate it's fairly obvious that she never will. She forgets everything and wears a pizza-stained tshirt with bullet holes from the last time she got mistaken for an infestation of rats and evicted from somebody's basement. She forgets everything even a droid with one-tenth the memory would remember, and will probably sabotage your mission by doing a half-assed job where it counts and then sulking about it.
Nothing really grabs her interest except for anime, which she watches day in day out. She refuses to acknowledge the irony of this, which is crippling.
Lately she's decided to stop watching anime and get a job, which is to nobody's benefit, because she's lazy and a nuisance.
See, ninety-nine anime droids is a big number to give individual personalities to. Once Melon Rusk ran out of the stereotypes, he used a random seed algorithm to determine the trait values of the remaining fightbots, and number 29 drew the short straw: sullen, antisocial, and apathetic.
The worrying thing is, Taidana has a moral code that keeps her out of trouble, her potential for which is astonishing. But Melon Rusk is too high and mighty to be effected by even the worst planetary violence, and he placed the independence and individuality of the Tahu line above their conformance to norms. Number 29 doesn't know it, but she's only a few short slips away from giving up on the social contract. The last Tahu droid to run out of patience with reality and abuse its power was smarter and angrier than Taidana, but still left a wound in her planet that took decades to heal.
At the moment, adventuring and anime are the two things that keep Taidana's head above water.
*actually very nicely calculable, m m mm.
3x Laugh
