[IC] Shingeki no Kyojin: Cleansing Amongst Man { Jack & Angel }

[AngelBites15]

Sara could only hope that whatever was bothering Kate, would come out on a more gradual scale. Rather than force the answer to reveal itself, the lieutenant was instead going to be patient with her, as it was in her nature to wait things out, before making her way to her goal. In other words, she was going to proceed, slowly and carefully. She will give her the time to open up, even if they start having a way-too personal conversation. However, once again, the white-haired was going to be patient with the other. She didn’t know of Kate’s inner thoughts, but then, she assumed that the smile on her face said that she was satisfied with Sara acknowledging her request. Perhaps there was a chance for them to bond, in order to get both of them to open up, at the same time. The other woman responded back with a slow smile of her own.

She didn’t know whether if she was right, but perhaps, that smile said something else, be it a sign of the other woman very, very slowly giving off a rather genuine peek of her own inner emotions. The poor girl has been losing touch with her true feelings, which was what Sara had already assumed, shortly after getting the nerve to observe her, from afar, over the past few months. Once more, in her more neutral yet downward state, there were melancholic feelings, along with those of isolation, while having to be agitated and enthusiastic when in her high. It wasn’t a very good balance for one person, emotionally and mentally, meaning that there was more behind the facade that Kate seemed to be masquerading, therefore she admittedly became Sara’s rather-curious point of interest for quite some time.

She didn’t know a lot about her background, considering that the lieutenant had never gotten quite personal with her fellow soldiers...other than the fact that her aunt happened be a Section Commander of the Scouting Legion, which was quite evident by their shared-enthusiasm. All of her thoughts, if anyone asked about Katherine, were good ones, and that the brunette’s unique abilities have proven themselves to be benefitting for the Scouts, and Sara could only show her proudness silently with a thin smile. The white-haired female sighed once more, before rubbing her eyes again, by the time she heard the other speak once more, having to respond back rather casually yet sincerely. It’s like as if her soft voice was her mostly predominant trait.

“As long as Erwin doesn’t call a meeting, I don’t. Why do you ask, Kate?”

[FalloutJack]

Fortunately, Erwin should be busy on his front, organizing the expedition and - this was the part that confused her, but she went with it - keeping it as confidential as possible. But it didn't seem likely that the Commander would suddenly call Sara, out of the blue. Honestly, she thought it more likely that Levi would spend time with her. Aunt Hange mentioned that they were actually family, cousins. Katherine...missed having family. Many had lost all traces of their former lives, maybe none so much as those of Shigenshiga, but no less harsh the loss from those who were from any other point between Wall Maria and Rose. At any rate, when Sara said that she was actually free, Kate put forth the thought that had been in her head for a while.

"I wanted to talk a little, get to know you. We only know each other by reputation, and that can get a little isolating. I feel like I unnerve some people, and I need to forge some new ties. Is that alright?"

She was looking at Sara with an earnest stare, the kind that you swear might be taking too long to blink. The truth was that now that Eren's controversy was winding down and he was no longer considered a threat to humanity (probationally), the day had started to sink in. The deaths that occurred were bad enough, but the deja vu of how the the attack had gone and of practically seeing where her mother had died, only in Trost's equivalent of that spot, had begun to bother her. It was a reminder that she was alone, except for a few friends that survived the overrunning of her home, and her aunt...who didn't exactly come to visit often because she was doing research. Necessary research, but still she didn't take much time off. Over-enthusiasm causes things like this. The distance between where she worked and where Katherine lived was probably a factor. Didn't help, though. At least she was trying, though. That much was alright.

The problem mainly lay in the emotional ties. As she lost people, Katherine felt that a piece of her would slip away. She had actually gotten to know some of the Cadets that made it out of training at the same time as Eren, Armin, and Mikasa...and then some of them died. Now that they were embarking on a whole new mission and things were changing so fast, what Kate wanted more than anything was someone who could keep her grounded. That wasn't something Aunt Hange could do. She wasn't grounded herself. Perhaps Sara, though?

[AngelBites15]

In truth, Sara herself didn’t even know that she even had other close family, besides Armin, who was only removed from her, by one generation. Having a cousin was quite a surprising, even pointing to the fact that they were both very well-respected people, with the greatest reputations. The lieutenant has been proud of the Research and Development team, despite the fact that the biological factor of examining Titans has always been risky, although it was quite fascinating at the same time, in the department of Commander Hange.

She took it all to heart, and yet, it was an advantage over this war to understand the enemy. The most-extreme of quirks of it, however, were slightly unnerving, that it was in fact in Hange’s hands. Machines have gotten her attention, and Sara often wondered when she might be able to use such improvements, but decided against it, if there was ever a struggle. Now, she knew on who to turn to, when needed.

The lieutenant saw the look in her eyes, as it was one that whispered a plead on it’s very windows. Sara found herself looking into them, as if she was trying to search on what she was hoping to find within the other recruit. However, it eventually dawned on her, after taking a moment of figuring out what her expression meant: Kate was alone, with no one to hold her down, when either slipping into a state of misery or devastation. As a result, isolation was all she probably had, with no emotional ties, acting as restraints. It also came to her that Sara herself was alone, in a sense, anyway. She didn’t have any ties either, more so with those that are mutually-familial, and less with those that are intimate.

“You feel alone, don’t you? With no one to tell you that you’re okay”.

Maybe this was an opportunity? She kept eye contact with Kate for probably the longest time, even as she stood up from her seat, before inhaling and exhaling through her nose, and giving her a small smile that showed traces of sincerity.

“If it means that much to you, Kate, I guess it wouldn’t hurt. I’ll do what I can for you, in and out of battle. No matter how bad the fight”.
Plus, I am quite curious and worried for you, she wanted to say, but didn’t.

[FalloutJack]

Although her espression did not change as Sara first spoke up, there was a certain surprise and relief within Kate as she heard her say that.

Yes, that's it exactly! She put it even more succinctly than I ever could! She understands...

She did finally confirm with a nod that this was, in fact, the case. Kate even wanted to talk about it, talk about herself, but not here where everyone could overhear. She never communicated herself the same way she did with other people in Shiganshiga as she did with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. She trusted them, since her doctor felt that they would be a good influence. And he ought to know, since he was Eren's father, Grisha. Nothing wrong with that, right? Even though she was older than them, she felt at home around them, like they filled in a sizable gap in a mental state. Sara was right. She validated herself through others by taking what they said to heart and running with it. Eren was all hear, putting aside his temper. Mikasa was bluntly honest, which was appreciable in the extreme. And Armin? Sage wit and wisdom, for his age. He was kind of wimpy, but she knew he was capable. He'd still made it through training, after all.

These were the people that had helped her stay the course in dealing with the unruly mess that was her own thoughts. As long as her friends thought she was doing alright, she knew that she was so. It was great that Sara understood in so few words just what she was going through. Maybe not the whole of it, but enough. One day, she might even have the courage to face up to it, to...to... But...this was good. She didn't have to worry now. Kate's imploring look turned to a pleasing smile when Sara accepted. She now stood, herself, the meal concluded.

"Alright, then. I'll just take care of this and then..."

She paused in somewhat indecision.

"Was there somewhere you wanted to talk or following me while I put these away?"

Either one worked. She was curious about Sara, as well, and she hoped the other woman was willing to share.

[AngelBites15]

Then, there was confirmation, which only put in some more thoughts that just might be enough to help her proceed with this. Sara nodded back in response, more so in a very understanding way, as well as solemn. Her observations and notes were proven to be correct, just by this response alone, coming from its source. Kate didn’t know who to turn to, in order to exert the feelings that were trapped inside her very own being.

Compared between the two of them, the lieutenant was a lot more concentrated, controlled, and self-grounded, having to keep her own emotions in check, even when exposed to an extreme situation. However, the very secret is the fact that there was nothing she could really take to heart, explaining her somewhat-detached demeanor. There seemed to be, what appears to be, hope, within the other’s eyes, once she accepted to her request.

’That was all she needed; a listening ear, some guidance. Somebody, who would tell her that she was safe’.

It felt as if the aura of the other’s feelings were hitting her, full-force, causing Sara to start approaching her, slowly yet carefully, even while the brunette continued speaking. Funny enough, the lieutenant herself wondered the same question: Where should they start talking about such a subject? Then, there was a thought, a spot, where the white-haired woman would go, in times of stress.

“I think I know. Trust me, I find it to be a very peaceful spot, for times, such as this. Care to follow?”

By the time they started walking, the two women were going outside of the mess hall, and towards the very outside. Of course, Sara took point, all the way towards a wooden ladder, that seemed to be connected to another, leading up to the roof. By the time the white-haired woman managed to make it to the top, she offered a hand to Katherine, and help her up, the rest of the way. With both of them now on the roof, the moon shined at its brightest, where its luminescence enveloped the entire sector of Wall Rose.

[FalloutJack]

To be quietly concealed, to hide inside one's shell. This had been her refuge But in time, there were those who wanted her to come on out and join the world, and so she started to step away and start to develop again. If only they hadn't come, she might have come to terms with herself much sooner, but as things went, the process towards self-recovery was slow and inhibited by loss and the necessity for survival. The shell grew more and more enticing, with every passing examination or calculation to get lost in. Even then, she hadn't wanted to fade back into nothingness, to ignore the world. She wanted some stable ground beneath her feet, something the Titans couldn't take away, something her own fear and escapism couldn't force her to hide from.

This could be it, or this could be the start of it. She didn't know, but she was compelled to find out.

Sara appeared to have an idea on where to go, already, and asked if she'd follow. Even as Katherine nodded, though, a mental note prodded her rather fiercely. She had to take care of her own responsibilities first. No, she needed this, her peace of mind. But her work was important too! The other woman began to lead and her own sudden conflict caused her eyes to dart around until...well...until someone passing by felt a hand grip them by the shoulder and pull him over to whisper, under no uncertain terms, that the barrel she had by her seat there were provisions for the elites and Commander Zoe, and that they needed to be ready to go on a wagon being prepared for the morning departure.

Basically, she elected to delegate the responsibility.

He seemed to move quickly enough, and with that the conflict in her head died and she quickly caught up to Sara as she left the mess hall. The light-haired woman led them both to an extended ladder heeading to a roof. These were a common thing, not just in the need for roof repair, but for situations regarding soldiers who need a way to get down in in case of ann emergency, like a failure in the ODM Gear or if the building were on fire. It was possible, and so as a precaution, these ladders could be seen on a number of buildings. Sara began to ascend and Kathering followed her, and took her hand for a pull on up without real question. Perhaps if they had never shared a word or a glance or the Titans hadn't attacked, she might have hesitated, but not at this time. The two of them now stood on the roof, basked in the moonlight. It did nothing for the Brunette, but for Sara's white hair, it seemed to make her shine.

It occurred to her, right then, that she had never actually seen a person with her hair color before. Somehow, she had overlooked this fact, even though it had been staring her in the face. Nobody that Kate had known from the beginning of her life until the moment she laid eyes on Sara had whiite hair. Not people or Titans. Maybe... Maybe she was... Katherine began to wonder if Sara was part of a rare family line not common to the area, like Mikasa had been. It was how Kate found herself almost staring at the way she looked in the moonlight, and her mouth acted before her brain had the time to weigh in, not knowing that this might be a loaded question.

"Sara...where are you from?"

[AngelBites15]

Sara could remember the last time she had found herself upon the roof of a house: It was during the evening, on the first day when her training began. She was looking up at the moon, as if the answers behind her vague memory would come to her, by simply doing so. There was a huge, black gap within her conscience, from the last time she saw her mother, and a figure of a man, speaking to her, up to the point where she woke up, with Levi and Erwin before her. It all came out in shards, as if someone broke a mirror, and all the pieces scattered across the room. Putting them back together was a task in itself, but then, a piece was missing, and that was upon that day.

’What happened then? When? Where? Who was there? Why were they, even?’

It was a phrase that went on, endlessly.
‘Was it a message, meant to forget? What did it mean? What was the importance?’

"Sara...where are you from?"

Said-woman was so engulfed within her own thoughts, she didn’t even register that Kate’s presence was there with her. That very question seemed to have brought her back from gazing out too far, at the moon.

”Where did she come from?”
...was what a lot of the townspeople have debated upon, whether or not, Rosa was even her real mother to begin with, considering that nobody had expected seeing a white-haired lass walking around, bearing no resemblance to any sort of woman. There was an admittance that it was also her hair that made her quite the outcast. Some told her that it was a gift, with others saying that was considering on labeling a child, as an abomination. If anyone was associated with the biological factor, there was an abnormality in her genetic algorithm.

But then, during her military days, some (including her fellow soldiers) started labeling her as “otherworldly”, or something not of this world; with her pale, flawless skin, platinum hair, perfectly-sculpted complexion, intimidating blue eyes, and physical attributes, topping around the measures of her cousin, there came borders that made her....”angelic”; that snowy, bluish tint being reflected off, from the moonlight, as if she was born from that very essence. Even when she moved her head, with a sigh, to look back at Katherine, that same tint remained. Thanks to her what-it-seemed-to-be shyness and “socially-awkward” disposition, why was she even trying on getting personal? It was then that Sara realized that she needed more people to be in the know, besides Levi and Erwin. Being secretive would not only be enough to get answers, but she remembered that the brunette was hoping to forge something with her; Kate believed Sara to be the type of individual she would trust.

The real question was: Could the latter trust her with information this big? She answered her, regardless.

“Underground...in Wall Sina. Wasn’t necessarily peaceful; literally, it wasn’t very dark, nor very bright. Trafficking, prostitution, thievery; violence. One must take a few, perhaps extreme measures to survive in that hell-hole. Not a place for a child to properly grow up, even for me. Didn’t know my own father; my mother was desperate, for money, and to give me an education. Not much else happened from there, I’m afraid. I can’t remember”.

She was staring up at the night-sky, while talking about this to the other. Sara had to remind herself, once more, on why she was revealing this information to Kate, but then she didn’t directly share anything about her early past with anyone thus far, other than Levi.

[FalloutJack]

As soon as she'd asked it, Katherine wondered if that was really the best question to ask. If her basis for asking at all had been because of her look, then it'd be reasonable to say that plenty of people had before, and that perhaps she might get tired of it. Nevertheless, that was what had come out of her mouth and she would have to live with the results. It was, therefore, very fortunate to find Sara willing to speak on that matter, but the answer confused her. Her mother had mentioned underground areas before. She helped with the piping for heat and ventilation, making sure that it was livable or that you could at least work down there. Doing what? She hadn't said. No, she never really cared much beyond the utility purpose of it all.

Maybe I was always like her, and that I'm not even suffering from personal issues anymore. Maybe I'm already cured, and this is just what it's like for me.

Well, if it was, it could've done better. The only things that her mother seemed to love was her work, her daughter, and- No, two things. Just two things. She could never have... Kate shook her head, quietly. You could mistake it for not liking what she might've heard about the underground aaround Wall Sina, but the truth is that she never knew anything about it. She heard more about the terrible treatment of refugees from Maria. Kate was a part of that for a while, 'till she was allowed to train and was discovered by her Aunt. Still, the shaking of the head was in reference to the other thing. The unmentionable thing. The unwanted thing.

"I can understand wanting to blot that out. There is alot that..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...you and your perfect job and your your easy life! Well, what about ME?!"

"Jonathan, stop that IMMEDIATELY!!"

"Or what, you frail little-"

There was naught but a choking sound and ALOT of red...

"I warned you..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kate winced, visibly, pulling her thoughts as far away from that as possible.

"But I understand, I do. There's so much that's happened. Still, it's good that you got out. I didn't know that conditions were so bad down there."

She shook her head.

"I wondered because you seemed unique and special, so I thought perhaps your family might've been rare like Mikasa's had been."

That was her explanation for it, that Sara had been like her longtime friend who was originally of an eastern-type family that married into the Ackermans. This...was actually a curious thought. Mikasa and Levi were potentially blood relatives on the Ackerman side. Had to wonder, then... Did that girl get all her skills from the Ackermans, or because she was herself? How much did that really matter? Both were impressive fighters. Perhaps it was something, perhaps it was nothing. Either case, it was clear that whatever Sara's own background, she had come into her own place in life rather well.

[AngelBites15]

By the time she heard the response of Kate, who seemed to have reacted to her rather troubled answer, in a way she couldn’t quite pinpoint. Sara had to look away from the light of the sky, and towards the brunette, who stood only a few feet away from her, although the lieutenant could still see her clearly in the moonlight. She seemed to have understood where she came from, but then, Sara still felt that she should elaborate on what she meant. However, something stopped her from doing so: Judging by Kate’s body language and the way she was talking, perhaps in the brunette’s mind (if the elder wasn’t mistaken), it was something to purposely forget, rather than circumstance alone. Now, it was Sara’s turn to be largely curious.

’Did something...tragic...happen for her? Besides the destruction of Wall Maria?’

Said-woman narrowed her eyes at this thought, having to keep her gaze upon her, as the brunette continued to speak. Having to sit down from where she stood, the platinum-blonde had to give herself a moment to think about what she just heard. Nobody in her life had ever made such a comment, although she did remember the man named “Kenny” saying something reminiscent to that, all those years ago, while he was showing her how to survive in the underground city. She herself has been trying to understand the mysterious backgrounds of her family. Her mother didn’t say much of herself, and she never knew her father, except the fact that the mother of cadet Armin Arlert was her cousin, leaving him as Sara’s second-cousin.

There have been many theories and rumors surrounding about the Ackerman family; tales that they were “warrior-kind”, that they were above that of an average human. By the time she started training with Levi, her physical attributes were reminiscent to his own, having a lot higher level of willpower and strength, than that of any other soldier in the force. Mikasa also showed signs of these same abilities. It made Sara wonder whether if Rosa, or her mystery father, may hold the blood of an Ackerman; if all three of them fell under this bloodline, together; if they were even related. That was what she had to guess, anyway. It confused her, all the same.

“To be honest, Kate, I’m not too sure, myself. Growing up, my mother didn’t speak much to me, of our ancestors, or if I have any other relatives, other than Armin, from her side. She mentioned about him only once, and yet at the same time, I didn’t know Levi even existed. He may be a potential relative of mine...from my father’s side, but I truly don’t know”.

[FalloutJack]

Armin?

Her eyes lit up at the mention of the blonde cadet's name. He was always trying to be the voice of reason among the trio she ran with. It...didn't always work, even when Kate herself pitched in, but she could appreciate him using his brain when his body could do comparatively little. Kate usually helped Eren and Mikasa get him out of any jam involving bullies. He hated his weakness, but she respected his mind, so it made him feel a little better, in the long run. It was a surprise to hear that Sara was related to him and possibly Commander Levi. If that were true, the combined abilities would make a truly-impressive person. You could even apply such thoughts to Kate herself. She had certainly gained from her...both of her parents.

Kate's train of thought worked against her, for a moment, as she kept being brought back to the same pointed issue, the problem that followed her and that she could not escape: If Sara was so good at what she did from two bloodlines that might encompass physical ability and considerable thought-process, then it would be fair to say that she easily inherited similarly...and that her stamina, her speed, and her aggression were something she did not take after her mother. She had been hit, but only one act in her life showed true attention to these categories over her brains. One moment where she was cool and calculating in her action, whereas Kate experienced deep anger. She hated it, but it was another aspect that came tumbling out when Grisha Jaeger became her doctor.

Right now, the Brunette took a seat, as well, eyes cast down. She muttered something like "We're all a sum of our parts...", not looking altogether pleased by that thought. It both disturbed her and made sense, at the same time. Kate tucked in her knees and gripped them now, exhaling deeply through her nose.

"Those three...Eren, Armin, Mikasa... They've been my world, ever since Mr. Jaeger tried to pull me out of a...well, he called it a fugue state. It didn't fully work, but I responded, so he asked them to help me out, to bring me out in full. I don't know if they succeeded, or if...I rebuilt myself from what I saw in them. Some things came out that I didn't want...but I had to live with them...especially since it's what I use to kill the Titans. I'm a little worried now that I am exactly what I was meant to be now...and that I won't like it if I let myself think about it."

There was...a thing that she was protecting herself from thinking too hard about, by throwing her mind into every other thing, but with her being as inquisitive as all that, it seemed inevitable that she would be brought back to the same thoughts, the same things she wanted to distance herself from. The wet crunch, the splash, the red...the lack of regret... It was too much for a child's eyes, and even an adult mind didn't want to be a part of that. Her friends, though? Her fellow survivors of Shigenshina? They knew everything, and they did her the favor of not bringing it up. Kate was now letting somebody else be in the know, as much as she could force it out at a time, for the first time in her life. Other times, she'd just lock up, but now...half of her wanted to shut up and the other half wanted to get it out.

[AngelBites15]

One of Sara’s legs, namely her right, was bent, and pulled up to her chest, while her right arm was being set upon it, accordingly. The many traits that relate between herself, Armin, and Levi, was apparent, in more scenarios than one could count. It became the reason why Commander Erwin immediately placed her as his Lieutenant - although there were many more reasons than one could even imply. These pieces were able to embody her, in the way that she was today: Her peak physical prowess, awe well as her ability to think quickly, and take charge of a new plan. At the same time, she wondered what kind of bloodline that Kate herself would fall under, and where she herself could have received her “gifts”.

"We're all a sum of our parts..."

Looking over at the brunette, who managed to sit down beside her, Sara managed to catch the mumble under her breath, but chose to say nothing, out of respect - although she did make a small hum in agreement. The girl seemed to be frowning, and it caused the white-haired woman to, once again, to try and pinpoint on what she was currently feeling. There was disappointment dripping in her voice, and the lieutenant wondered again:

‘Is there something deeper that she doesn’t wish to say?’

Narrowing her blue eyes again, Sara scanned the very body of the young woman before her, albeit out of quiet sympathy; seeing the sparkle in young Katherine’s eyes that implied sadness and fear. There was something that was clearly troubling her deep-down, leading for the lieutenant to think whether if there was something that the other was trying to get off of her chest. Was she getting closer to the problem? Taking a momentary glance up towards the moon, that continued to shine down on them, Sara decided to cautiously yet gently provoke. There was a bit of awkwardness in the air between them during that second of silence, and it made Sara feel a bit unsettled, although she did take a deep quiet breath, before speaking once more. This time, there was care in her voice, having to be not as cold as usual.

“May I ask what happened?”

[FalloutJack]

The silence had been filled with Katherine internally debating with herself on the matter, to settle whether to talk or just stop this immediately. The argument tipped slightly in the favor of talking once it became clear that Sara was wanting to hear, and that she even seemed like it mattered to her if she heard. Her eyes nearly shut as she exhaled through her nose again, summoning the courage to approach it, to mmake believe that she was not facing the fear alone then, because she wasn't facing it alone here.

"I was just..."

A little girl, cute as a button.

"...a child. I didn't really understand anything, not like I do now."

At that age, who could? But then again, she had a mind that led to this kind of intellect anf ability. It may have been something more fundamental than the mere acquisition of knowledge...and boy it was, most definitely.

"I didn't focus on things like Titans and anything other than normal kid things, along with a bit of learning. I didn't know what they were arguing about... I was just trying to read in mom's work room. Usually never an argument there, but...that time there was...and I couldn't...I didn't..."

He grip on herself tightened now, like white-knuckling at this point. Her next words were haunted, as this was something that she was having the devil's own time coming to terms with.

"My father was a monster. He wasn't like a person when he hit me. He was like one of them. I couldn't...I couldn't defend...I couldn't run...trapped.... He just kept beating, he...he wasn't human...!"

He was. Jonathan, her father, was all-too-human. He was discontent, underappreciated, belligerent while drunk, and yes...prone to violence. This may've made him seem like a Titan to a child, causing all kinds of complexes, but he was but a man, and was ended as such. Anyone with a high enough clearance really could access the file on the Bellows Murder Case. It featured a young Katherine Bellows beaten halfway out of her mind and-

"My mother stopped him, she...just killed him, like you would a bug. It was just...crunch...and over. And he just...and I...and I ran away, right into my own skull. Couldn't handle it..."

She was actually starting to shed tears and she was about to tear the skin of her legs with her fingernails, because now that Kate had about as much as she needed to confront the image of her dad beating her half to death...she was mad at herself for retreating. She didn't excuse herself for it. It was too much for her, and she didn't take any solace at all that her reaction was normal to...the beating or the sight of Myra Bellows shoving a degraded pipe through a man's neck, snapping it instantly and sending blood all over the place.

[AngelBites15]

The very image of being reminded of everything that she had endured during her years as a soldier, had been coming back full-force, and Sara could already compare herself to the very man that Katherine had called “monster”. She thought back to the moment when she beat Eren Jaeger, in the middle of court. Was she no better? No. Simply put, between herself and this man, only one of them did it out of mercy. There was no implication of regret, mercy, or sentiment behind the actions that this so-called “father” had laid upon his own daughter. The lieutenant remembered that her own cousin had “beaten” her (some wounds left worse than some) numerous times, merely to close off and toughen her mindset for the military, but nothing as traumatic, described by the young woman sitting next to her.

Having to be a woman of a few words, during the moment, a sad sigh left the white-haired female, after watching the gestures of the other. It was a being trying to escape by tearing out of their own skin; to leave behind the wounds and scars (transparent or not) of the past. The very thought left Sara with a jab in her chest, and it didn’t suite the elder, as if it was something she didn’t wish to feel, leaving her briefly confused. Besides, to see Kate cry over it, was striking at the very sentiment, that has been left underneath her traditionally-cold exterior. Not that it was a bad feeling, but it was something she hadn’t felt in a long while. Closing her eyes, furrowing her brows, and turning her head away from the brunette, Sara almost felt disgusted and slightly angry, after learning about the man, who gave nothing but his child and no love. Only the mother was able to provide it. It had to be a coincidence, right? In regards to their mothers?

“Heartless bastard...what of your mother?”

She said, under her breath, although it was purposely loud enough for Kate to hear, before making a small muffled noise that bordered between clearing one’s throat and a sound of disgust. The white-haired clenched a fist to fit with her small jolt of anger. It took Sara a moment to take it all in, before turning her head back to the younger again. With that nagging feeling of sentiment coming back to the surface, the lieutenant hesitantly reached a hand, and placed it on Katherine’s knee. She felt the need to.

[FalloutJack]

Eren Jaeger's beating had shocked her, but not to the extent that she had harkened back to this, the beating that she'd taken at the hands of her father. That alone hadn't been enough, because she understood right off the WHY of that situation. If someone had been drunkenly beating on Eren for no other reason than because they were discontent...there'd be true rage in her heart, a whole lot of red, and then maybe a dead man as she tries with all her might and mental fortitude to keep from seeing her father's face in some vicious daymare. The trauma did things to her, as it would do things to us all. Kate was damaged by the ordeal, and she felt so, which made her feel guilty over it, as it'd taken literal years to crawl back out of her hole and reach some semblance of liveability.

She was gradually recovering herself now, perhaps at a stage where Grisha would say she was of sound enough mind to start to come to terms, and that may have been where she was. That she was hurt so was now entered in her mind without retreating, because she had the support of another friend, another who would understand. Now, she had only to overcome the shame of it, that she found her response to be disgraceful. That might still take some doing, and Kate may find that she remains prone to emotional outbursts because that is her life, but...recovery was possible. Indeed, she felt strong and stable enough, with Sara's concern and understanding alongside her. The contact with her knee was surprising, but...not unwanted. It was like an acknowledgement of her, an acceptance of her being that the brunette appreciated.

Still, the question lingered. Katherine related the facts in a distant, saddened voice. She had come to terms with this one faster, even though it hurt a great deal. At thhat time, she did not sink, but swam. Her mother explained the situation in no uncertain terms, and she followed through to the necessary reaction accordingly. She had no choice.

"Mom's gone... We were living in Shiganshina, right up to the time they hit. She was too hurt to move, sent me away. Escaped with Eren and them, stayed with 'em until I was found by Aunt Hange."

The woman's full name had been Myra Zoe-Bellows. Strange that she kept the name she married into, despite all the things that had gone wrong in her husband. The truth was that they started out so well. Her eccentricities were fun, like a breath of fresh air in an otherwise drab and terrible old world. They found time to laugh in this world and fell in love. Jonathan just wasn't able to stand out from under the shadow she unknowingly cast over him. By the time he'd felt its effect, he had found himself failing at his trading business and finding the other grunt work he'd taken on the side to be harsh and unfulfilling...next to a woman who brilliantly calibrated the cannons, the rifle designs, the ODM Gears, and so forth...and even designed domestic things like better plumbing, locking mechanisms, and more. If a man only finds contentment in self-fulfillment and cannot find pride in the world of those at his side, he cannot co-exist with them, and that is how he turned to drinking, fighting, and becoming unreasonable. He just didn't realize just how much the woman truly could stomp him flat.

"I'm doing what I can to help fight the Titans... I can't do much more than that. I have very little else."

[AngelBites15]

Judging by Kate's reaction, the touch upon her knee was a good one, and not something that resulted in pure awkwardness nor confusion. Once more, Sara couldn't remember the last time she herself had ever received such gestures; she didn't even know how long it has actually been. As far as she knew, her cousin wasn't the very intimate/affectionate-type, and Armin, well....he didn't even know that his biological relation with the lieutenant was even profound. Judging by how much she has been telling the brunette beside her, that kind of knowledge won't stay hidden forever, even in times such as war. The white-haired woman looked down towards her hand, that sat upon that sat upon Kate's leg; the further she went into her own thinking, the more of a headache came into being, when she tried to remember.

'Don't let your own thinking get in the way of what is at stake. It will come to you, Sara. Whether if that meant being in the battlefield, or outside of it'.

This was one of things that the Commander had started to tell her, with Levi having to tell her something that was similar. She couldn't let her preoccupation of discovering her past get in the way of the conflicts that arise. They only had her in the high rankings, mainly because of her skill, as well as the secret, that remained hidden between only three individuals. As the years have passed, since her recruitment, Sara had tried to remember anything that was reminiscent to her own childhood; any sort of reminder...just anything. It became a source of concern for Erwin, especially in regard of his lieutenant being able to find sleep, as well as the energy inside the chain of command.

"Is it too late for me to say that I am sorry? For your loss, I mean?"

She asked, although her voice sounded more solemn, almost-depressing than usual, which was almost nearly unusual for someone like Sara. Although at this point, it may be only Kate, who may not find the Angel to be so intimidating or fearsome, considering with how personal they were able to get, as of this moment.
Perhaps she was only lonely? Or, just as oppressed as the other?

"Lean on me, just for a moment."

She said, without a second thought, like as if her mouth moved first before her brain. It was the instinct of comforting the younger, mainly to put reality in her eyes. Whether if this request, was something that was out of emotion, or just plain instinct alone, Sara put her point across.

"Tell me: Do you know what it took for us to get this far? In Humanity's desperation to survive? How long have you been alive? What told you to keep living? Who told you to keep going? What and who told you to fight, Katherine?"

[FalloutJack]

At first, she didn't know what Sara was apologizing for, so there was a little glance of confusion before she continue and it made sense. Kate's mind worked rather quickly, so naturally she might have these moments of confusion, like she was trying to parse the whole before it was complete. A harmless fault. It came from processing too fast and jumping ahead of everyone else, mentally, before realizing the leap went too far and you have to go back. Anyway...Kate shook her head, letting off a sad smile.

"No, it's fine. The more, the merrier."

The more who thought of her kindly, the better. Myra's eccentric behavior was not easily engaged with. It required patience, and some people would cave on arguments largely because she'd thought so thoroughly on something, almost obsessively, that you didn't have a chance to find any flaws. Or to put it her way: 'If I'd seen any flaws IN my argument, I wouldn't bother to speak it. It had to pass through me first.'. And in a way, that meant that Myra was almost self-regulating. Almost. Still, there was no failing in the love she had for her daughter, and so nobody missed her more.

Now, when Sara asked Kate to lean against her, that led to a definite question of 'Why?'. No one had made a request like that of her, just out of the blue. It was an unexpected thing to ask. The only thing that Kate could think of was that she had a reason, and that it wasn't the light-haired woman's habit to lead people astray. For some reason, the thought of it made Kate feel...anxious. Couldn't really pinpoint why, but after a brief hesitation...she did, and Sara continued, giving her a slew of questions. At first, the Brunette simple wanted to answer them all, one after the other, as bluntly as you can imagine. But this is not what the Lieutenant wanted. She was asking one question...and it was not an easy one.

Who...and what? It wasn't just a straightforward answer, was it? It sounded more like what Sara was trying to say to her was...

"Many people said that I should...but the decision was mine. I can't speak for humanity, though. Only me."

Hopefully, that was an adequate response, because...in some ways...she didn't know humanity from the Titans. Kate felt that...as much as the sleepy giants appeared to be so aimless and vacant...they were purposed, mindful, conscious on some strange level. They may even have been withdrawn like she was, previously. It was because of such a fugue-like state in her past that she began to wonder what the Titans really were. And after learning all that she had about Eren's ability, that line between their two species grew much thinner.

[AngelBites15]

If she was completely honest with herself, Sara could presume that not many have told Kate the same thing for quite a while. She may not know on the amount of people who may have told her the same thing, but there was a strange instinct telling her that there wasn’t much. The solemness that seemed to be resonating from the girl was starting to ignite twinges of sympathy inside the white-haired woman, considering that this was someone, who has been living in pain for most of her life. If she had the right opinion, Sara was starting to believe that all Kate needed, was someone to help her through such hard times, even if she finds herself facing the past, once again.

If she had to, the lieutenant would be willing to put her own presence near Kate, whether if the girl was in need of safeguarding, from either herself or those around her...even as far as go out of her own way, and risk her very life, if she means to do so. Sara remained where she was, even she felt her lay her head against her shoulder, as instructed. Judging by her answer, the white-haired woman turned her head to the side, to look at the brunette, as if to scan her, with gentleness lingering within her bluish-grey eyes.

“Whether if it was humanity that told you, or if it was your gut that drove you, she would still be proud of you, you know? For what you’re doing for the benefit of those, your mother wishes to continue protecting. There may not be Myra Bellows anymore, but in my eyes, there is still a Bellows, who could possibly keep her legacy going.”

The albino-toned woman paused in her explanation, before having to look back up at the sky, and speaking once again.

“I’d suggest trying that; for her, and for the sake of all of us.”

[FalloutJack]

This was unexpectedly nice, like something you wouldn't think feel the way it does, but it becomes an ultimately pleasant experience, regardless. Leaning against Sara like this was calming, focusing. With her largely taking in the other girl's words, it seemed like Kate could put aside all of her personal concerns, effectively fencing them off for a while. Not so much a wall, but the things disturbing her mind - the life she was having to come to terms with - felt farther away and quieter, kept at bay in this newfound peace. Nothing was happening to them, right now. The monsters were at bay, right now. This was simply a moment in time where - and Kate was surprised at how hard it must've been for her to even do this - they could relax.

Because...what DID Katherine Bellows do when things go to hell? What is it that always happens? She gets worked up inside, her mind races faster than a herd of stallions, and then she takes action. And that's what it's been like the past few years, hasn't it? The Titans go on the rampage, so she has been moving and working like hell towards survival, but never stopping for one second to live. Here and now, however, Kate realized that she hadn't had much in the way of human contact in any friendly manner for a long time. She use to enjoy those more innocent times alongside her friends in Shigenshina, her mind closed off from the evils of the world. Now that she was combating it with her brain and her own two hands, she'd stopped being a person and stifled her own growth, but just this moment...sara's words took on new dimensions.

This wasn't merely talk of survival, in living, but of growing as a person and having something TO live for. Even if this was not entirely the direction the Lieutenant had meant here, it took that meaning along with her own in Kate's mind. Sara was reminding her that she was not simply beholden to the life that was her mother's expertise. She was living this life herself and it was hers to lead, though she had much to be proud of for being her mother's child. For Kate, it also became a statement of how to proceed, what to do, what her direction was and how she could expand her horizons, even in this bleak Titan-filled world. It actually made Kate smile, feeling much better about herself.

"It's as much my legacy as hers, but I understand."

Afterwhich, she straightened up, and stood with a stretch. Funny how she seemed to be that fit, like she'd exercised all her life, yet she wasn't the powerhouse that Mikasa was. Must be that brain, always figuring out the easy way. Well, no matter. She looked at Sara now, clearly much calmer now.

"And we can't get to it without a little rest. Tomorrow and everything is gonna be busy. We both have work to do."

She offered Sara a hand up before they headed down. Incredible how she looked in the moonlight...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Some people rested better than others, and it seemed like Kate had managed, because she was clearly in high spirits when they set out, that day. They were - by horses and wagons - bound for the abandoned castle which had previously been a Scout Regiment base of operations. It would be so again, and had - up until now - been the subject of testing on the most advanced scientific research regarding Titans known to man. This is what Hange Zoe was up to, anyway. That woman's attention to detail, ever since she started observations of all things Titan in the field, had been a large boon to the survival of mankind. Another such boon was riding in a wagon with Commander Levi watching him for signs of being a monster, but we know that Eren is about as anti-monster as you can get. An additional boon was on a wagon of its own. And we're not referring to Kate's presence there. We mean that she was sitting with the tarp-concealed new weapon, the one that seemed to involve gunpowder, but isn't a cannon. In their quest to take on Titans, they had the cutter blades, the ODM Gears, the high-tension wires, the heavy-piercing spears, and indeed the cannons. This was something long, and there was evidence of a pointy bit, but the way things were stored and wrapped up...it was hardly normal.

They would be upon the castle soon. Kate looked focused, even anxious. Too bad the place was a mess.

[AngelBites15]

It was only until the end of that discussion, did Sara ever start to feel the everlasting peace starting to unravel itself, just by the very contact that Kate was able to give off. She had to assume that because of her words, or her very presence, that the girl was (perhaps finally) able to calm down from the bouts of today. The woman wasn’t aware of the other’s silent admiration for her, and she didn’t really give it much thought, if that were the case.

Either in person, or through gossip and rumor, her fellow recruits, and other branches, have shown a mix of admiration and fear, whenever a topic regarding the lieutenant came into the light. The same went for her cousin, who didn’t really pay any kind of mind to these allegations. It was all part of her cover, as to what her purpose was, and to what she was really capable of.

As much as she wanted to treat this encounter, as being part of a normal talk, something inside the white-haired woman was telling her to pay very close attention to the brunette. Even though she had accepted the young woman’s request to make sure her head is in a clearing, Sara also felt the need to shield her from further harm, mainly due to its excessive quantity. As to how she could start off on her promise, Sara started by offering to escort the brunette to her quarters for the evening.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The next day, as promised to Jaeger, he was now within the custody of both the captain and the lieutenant, and free from the intimidations and distrusts of the city. The plan was to take him to one of their old bases, further out into the plains. Meanwhile, Erwin will stay behind to pick out the top cadets from the training program, and plan out the initiation for them to become the new faces in the Scout Regiment. First thing the next day, Sara joined in the escorting of Eren, and her cousin’s elite team, into another location within Wall Rose; away from society, in order to test Jaeger's loyalty.

Riding upon her own horse, while donning the green cape, sporting the Wings of Freedom, the lieutenant made the effort to stay close between the front of the party and the middle. To be in a wide open space like this, any Abnormal would shake off their own boredom. That was what the extra vigilance amongst the party was for. Whatever Kate had packing in the cart, Sara didn’t want the girl’s invention to slow them down, so she made the independent decision to stay between that said-cart, and the front of the party.

Reaching the fortress didn’t take as long and, surprisingly, nobody found signs of any Titan activity during the short trip. As far as she heard, Levi wanted the boy to sleep in the basement. Though she didn't immediately agree, it became reasonable for the wellbeing of their troops. Before anything else, however, Sara didn’t blame the fact that they had to clean the whole structure, both inside and out. She didn’t give him the ‘what for?’, so she was going to follow the chain of command, respect their familial ties, as well as take his likes and dislikes into consideration.

She already made her rounds, for the safety of the actual structure, before giving a ‘thumbs-up’ for the squad to begin the procedure: Testing Eren’s power. Hange started the experiments immediately, yet the many tries of getting the boy to transform, has already been taken into failure, evident by the looks of his hands, after a couple of hours. Nobody knew why he couldn’t get his Titan-form to take shape, and the anxiety amongst the elite subordinates, as they were already starting to debate, whether if this was all for nothing.

Standing outside, Sara took this as a mental note, as she observed the group, as well as Eren, who gave occasional grunts of pain, every now and then.

“Does it still hurt? You’re lucky that Hange has allowed you to take a sit-out, after so many attempts. If I asked for your opinion, why do you think it’s not working, the way it should?”

[FalloutJack]

Not that Katherine would've had any objections to an escort back to her room, but you have to ask if there was really anything to be concerned about. Well...there was always the chance that a drunken soldier could bump into her and cause an incident. The question, though, is who would be causing more harm to whom. On the one part, you have such behavior being reminiscent of Kate's father, the reason you don't ever see the girl in any sort of drunken celebration. It would very clearly make her uncomfortable. On the other part, therefore, someone trying to give her a hard time might trigger a response that was bound to be violent. Imagine the report on Erwin's desk for such an incident:

Wall Guard A gets tanked after Battle of Trost, remains in drunken and generally festive mood for hours.
Encounters Kate Bellows.
Guard A says something he presumes to be a proposition to Kate that makes Kate visibly uncomfortable.
Kate recoils, decides she wants to be anywhere else right now.
Guard A insists, makes a grab for Kate.
Guard A then wakes up a few hours later and picks up own teeth off of the ground, complaining of a massive hangover.

Yes, that would look great on a report, and even the unflappable Commander Erwin would surely have an eye twitch or something in reaction, given that both a man might be irresponsibly drunk, and that the girl who mainly designs things has stood there and unleashed enough fury to require said man to count his teeth. All of this was completely hypothetical, of course, but you could definitely see it happen at this juncture, so it was probably for best that Sara looked after Kate that night.

All that aside, we must plow on ahead with their journey to the castle. Eren was feeling better, for having gotten out of that hole of a dungeon, essentially. One thing that definitely kept Eren calm, despite everything, was that he knew these people were on his side. Yeah, Levi was kinda' scary and Sara had no hesitation in beating him up, but both were clearly trustworthy, which in turn made the special services perfectly fine. Kate was unsurprisingly quiet today, but very surprisingly focused and poised for any sort of action as she watched over the second cart like a hawk, having looked over its contents perhaps a bit obsessively, like some of the things might get up and walk away in the interim. She had those gloves on, the ones made to attach to blades to become the Titan-Shredders, and pretty much every soldier here would have access to same, though the one who had definitely mastered their use was her.

Everyone was wary of Titans on the way up. You wouldn't think that there was any particular reason to be, since this was the area between Rose and Sina, but after the Battle of Trost...they couldn't take the chance that some wanderers hadn't gotten loose in the confusion. That was the official reasoning, of course. Credible, but the actual reason? You had to wonder. In any case, they reached the castle and ummm...they had to clean. Seriously, Levi insisted that the base had to be dusted and possibly scrubbed. You wouldn't think him some kind of a neat-freak, the way he looked, but then you can never tell a person by looks alone. And as for where Eren had to sleep, well...you could tell that he didn't like the idea of being in another hole, which didn't amuse him later when Hange appeared and literally stuck him in one.

That was a tense moment. They'd stuck him in a dried-up well, asked him to hurt himself to activate his Titan form, and...nothing. For some reason, he just wasn't able to. It was frustrating, having something like this that you could say was literally at his fingertips, and yet he couldn't reach it on command. Why? The worst part, beyond the confusion and disappointment, had to be that he'd bitten his fingers raw in the attempt, leaving him in pain for hours. So, here they were, taking a break to get some food, and he was left like this, trying to figure this out with no ideas from the technical side of things. Currently, there was a debate between Hange and Kate over whether anything in normal Titans accounted for this, but there didn't seem to be so. Sara would probably have heard Kate equating all the regular Titans to sleepwalkers, though nobody had any idea why Abnormals were so...yeah. I mean, they walked like they had a malfunction, and were singularly-obsessed on a specific target. It was weird. Eren's titan form acted abnormal, but he was markedly different, for sure.

Eren was kind of staring at his hand when Sara addressed him, and he looked up with a concerned and irritated at the whole affair while trying to eat. He flexed his eating hand a little.

"I don't know what it is. I thought I hadn't been hurt enough while down in the well, so that's why I tried so hard, but it was a waste of time... I didn't like it down there, either. It was almost like I could tell it wasn't gonna work, even before we started, but I really wanted it to and-"

He'd started to eat again, but in his frustration he'd dropped the spoon. He reached...

THOOM!!

Total chaos.

There was a crack of energy and a thunderclap, like a freak lightning bolt had shot out, and a rush of steam where the table had been. Everyone at the table Eren had been at was either flung back or jumped back, if they were able to. Instantly, everyone - elite or otherwise - was poised for action, blades out and ready to take on a titanic...

...arm.

The steam cleared and there was this grotesque-looking appendage that Eren was now sitting on, and...it had a spoon in its hand. Kate was as shocked as Eren at this point, who was wondering "Why now...?", not aware at first that mostly everyone here was staring daggers at him. Kate was shocked, at first, at the sudden transformation...but then she received another surprise. One second, Hange was standing right there, making sounds equivalent to a tea kettle about to whistle, and the next...there was sudden empty space where she'd been standing, as she ran full-tilt at the arm.

"EREN!! Can I touch it?! I want to know how it FEELS!!"

Of course she wants to touch it.