[OOC] monsters and men

[Jasper19]

More lore on the kingdom itself- Feaoswen was discovered in the first era (or so the scholars say) in beliefs the divine God takmestesh made the kingdom out of some of his own flesh from the flesh races were born orcs, dwarves, elves, and men ect. men reproduced quickly and conquered the other races after years of living beneath them the other races reveled in the great wars of the third era after the wars and a year of readjustment the races now coexist peacefully for the most part though some times they can still experience bigotry from men so far Feaoswen is at peace with its neighbors but it has had a spike in the number of monsters (which is another reason the guild is formed).

[Sedjwick]

Okay, I like what you have going here, and I understand that this is your first RP, but there's still some things that could be improved on.

First off, if you're going to allow magic, there needs to be a defined system of how magic works with rules and limitations attached to it. Where does this power come from? How does someone gain the ability to perform magic? Just how much can you do with magic? What can't you do with it?

Secondly, what are the differences between the races of men, orcs, elves, etc.? What advantages do the different races have over one another? Do they all live amongst one another, or are there separate communities of different races? What are the cultures and beliefs/religions of the different races? Do they all have the same beliefs and customs, or does each race adhere to it's own beliefs and customs?

Thirdly, a more fleshed out history of the world up to this point might be in order (though it may not be absolutely necessary), and it would certainly help people feel more interested and engaged in the world as it would make this world more real.

Finally, make sure you have a definite idea of where you want to take this story. What are some major plot points that you want to cover? Most importantly, what is your ultimate goal for this? Obviously, these things are probably things the other players don't need to know, but they are definitely things you should have in mind as you progress this RP in order to keep things on track.

Like I said, I like what you have going so far, and I think it shows promise, but there's a lot of things that need work. What I would suggest is put this on hold for a while to work on some of these things (and others) and do some more RPing here to get sort of a feel for what is expected, and then, once you have that down and have more of these things ironed out, you can try launching it again. Also, there are other forums here that have some great advice about RPing and GMing that you might consider browsing through to get a better idea of what all needs to go into making an RP. Also, consider finding a veteran RPer and GMer to co-GM your first RP. I think that would be very helpful.

Please note, I am trying to be helpful here, and I apologize if any of this sounds overly critical. This is a good idea; it just needs more work.

[Jasper19]

@Sedjwick nah you didn' t sound over critical thanks for the advice I probably will put it on hold

[Jasper19]

Magic: people must be born with a innate ability for magic but they can acquire artifacts that boost their ability using magic drains a person of energy but the greater the apptitude for it th greater reserve they have some of the dark mages drain life out of living things as energy there are tour types of magic
Elemental- uses fire earth air and water for their bidding a low magic user or a beginning mage can only do 4 spells or incantations they must also choose one of the four elements to specialize in.
Necromancy- the power to raise the dead and commune with spirits mages just starting out with this type of magic can only resurrect animals at first
Healing- this magic heals wounds but also as mages become more skilled they can infect enemies with a rot that kills them from the inside out
Telepathy- telepaths can read the thoughts of others and use their mind to control men weaker than them and also move things with it a skilled telepath could bring the most noble man down to a shrinking coward if mages start of in this school they can hear thoughts
Rules to using magic-
New mages do not get a whole bunch of spells they must choose what category is I specify in it you would like to create a new category run it by me and it it's not to op then I will say yes a mage can't cast spells forever you must show your character getting weaker or show when a huge spell takes a tool on them

[Jasper19]

Races:
Orc- orcs are tall usually about 6 foot to seven foot and live in clans the males grow tusks out of their mouths their skin color can range from a deep purple to a light tan their culture is mainly focused on fighting and earning glory orcs have a huge sense for honor and glory they will respect agreements they have made and will try to earn glory upon their clan name odds get along with the other races fairly well but have a natural disdain for dwarves offs believe their small stature will never allow them to win a fight during a fight a orc may trigger their bloodlust with is like a bezerker rage they don't feel pain in that state and willows out at who ever gets close to them their religion focuses on war oriented gods such as yaz'mtak their God of battle tactics and bloodlust orcs can do magic but have the lowest affinity for it out of the races therefore shamans are respected and held in high regards.
Humans- humans are the most numerous race on Freaoswen and that is what has allowed them to keep in power to do many years it wasn't until the third era that the other races have achieved equality humans vary in skin tones and builds humans are great thinkers and planners but most waste that potential by acting on their own self interest therefore they can be hard to trust humans have a good infinity for magic domain so that a guild has been created focused on studying the arcane knowledge this guild is known as pendulum religion the humane worship the God they believed made Freaoswen be is known as takmestesh humans have a distain for all the races except themselves because they believed they were the superior race
Elves- elves have the highest affinity for magic and therefore pendulum is made up of a great deal of them elves have pointy ears and usually are between five foot ten to six foot 3 they come in a variety of skin colors they also are light and nimble on their feet they make excellent spies and archers elves worship goes connected with nature and life one such
god is reswerer is their God of plants and animals elves have a dislike of the odds because they believe them to be barbaric and savage
Dwarves- dwarves are short and sticky the tallest one being recorded to be four foot 6 they are master architects, engineers and blacksmiths dwarves come in different skin colors like all the races contrary to orcish belief dwarves are very good in a fight they prefer the axe and the shield dwarves have the second lowest affinity to magic and don't care for it their gods are gods of architecture& smithing one such God is kiodiv their God of smithing and weapons dwarves have a dislike for the elves because they believe them to be aloof and not down to earth