[IC] Tricksters and Theives: A Warhammer RP

[Penny]

Chapter 3

The smell of Altdorf hit them before the saw it. The smell thousands wood and coal fires, the smell of sweat, the smell of spices and timber, the smell of live stock, grain, old fruit, mud, horses, cooking meat, baking bread, the tang of hot metal, the reek of tanners yards, the fishy odor of the waterfront and docks, all underlaid with the smell of hundreds of thousands of humans and their waste gathered together. The smell of Altdorf. The smell of Home.

Emmaline reigned in her horse as the reached the top of Cemetery Hill, a small knoll on the east of the city where the road rose up to give a view of the great Imperial metropolis. The great ribbon of the Stir curved away in both directions, touching the city in an intricate series of docks, jetties and quays. Hundreds of ships were docked or underway, flying the flags of dozens of nations from the insolent ensign of Marienburg to the silken standard of far off Uluthan. Many were heading east, under sail or banks of oars, carrying troops or supplies towards the Siege at Nuln. Millitary aid between provinces was a matter of politics in the Empire, but a direct threat to Nuln and its vast gunpowder works and armament factories ensured a swift and savage response. Not all of the vessels would be millitary of course, many a merchant would seek to make a fortune supplying the troops that were already rushing west, or by being the first to bring food and material to a great city which was now starved of both.

Beyond the docks the city rose in levels of increasing opulence, from the waterfront tenement and firetraps up through the prosperous streets of Market Lane and the Crofter Square. Emmaline though she could make out a flash of color that marked the Street of a Thousand Taverns, her old haunt when she had lived here. Beyond that were the towers of the College of Magic and the mighty spire of the Grand Cathedral, glowering at each other in eternal unease. Beyond that lay the Imperial Palace, or more accurately palaces, where the great and good ruled the Empire of Man and Riekland with tenacity which always outweighed its effectiveness. These final vistas were hazy and indistinct, the smoke of cook fires and furnaces wafting from innumerable chimneys to stain the crisp fall air.

"Welcome to the greatest city in the world," Emmaline declared as she looked out over the vista.

"It stinks," Neil observed, wrinkling his nose.

"Doesn't it though?" Emmaline said happily and touched her heels to the flank of her horse to get it moving again. She neither knew nor liked horses, but from comments she had received during the journey it seemed that both of their steeds were of good quality. Emmaline suspected that several minor nobles had vanished on Hexenaucht, adding to the grim legends for the wrong reasons. The horses trotted down through the traffic, farm wives on their way to market, peddlers driving wagons of goods, even the occasional Imperial messenger dashing past on a fast horse. They might soon have to sell the beasts, as what little coin they had scrapped together was nearly exhausted, the only thing of value that remained to them was the Wyrdstones that had stolen in Nuln. Emmaline was confident they could sell them, but it would take time and subtly to do so safely. The needed money badly and in Altdorf, so close the Colleges, there was no hope of passing false coins shimmed up with a spell.

"We need to find somewhere to stay," she told Neil, "and I doubt there are any towers free."

[POOHEAD189]

Despite his snark, Neil felt almost as at home as Emmaline. He could survive on the road, but not thrive. He was a city boy, and he rarely stayed longer than a week or two outside of one of the great metropolises of the Old World. Cities had intrigue, women, money, and one could get lost, or better yet lose others, so easily in its jungle of stone and woodworks. He had to admit Altdorf was a sight, giving a low, appreciative whistle, which Emmaline misconstrued as him flirting with her. She gave a smile and Neil winked back, playing along regardless. He had been here once before, years ago when he had been traveling to Nuln. He had only set foot in the capital of the whole of the Empire for a few brief hours, sticking lose to the river barge he was traveling on. He mostly remembered the spires, and the distant colleges of magic, and streetlamps! They weren't actually uncommon in Nuln, but most were paid out of pocket. In Altdorf, almost the entirety of the city, at least all the main walkways, were lit with street lamps in the evening.

Neil thought back to his stay there, remembering when he watched the halfling juggle six potatoes and steal a wallet all while a dozen men and women watched. He remembered a man claiming to be a wizard threatening a grey-haired mercenary before the charlatan was run off. He recalled the portly vendor that sold him a slab of honeyed ham for his trip. It was strange to think Emmaline was here during then. Strange that he remembered watching the city gently go by as his barge traversed the waterways to send him to Nuln. He felt a moment of loss, for a second. He wished he could have spotted her in the winding streets, flirted with her then. Life was full of such things, he supposed.

"No towers? Well, guess we'll have to settle for a villa then. They make Tilean style mansions here right?"

"For the right price," Emmaline replied in good humor. But it ebbed out of her when they entered the shadow of the first gate. It looked like any other, perhaps more grandly designed and far larger than most. The layered stone was well carved, with a steel portcullis just waiting to fall and two great doors reinforced with iron ready to close at a moment's notice. "This is the Witches Gate," Emmaline explained as they passed under it. "This is the gate Templars would bring in apostates and dark magicians to be executed." She idly grabbed at her throat, as if imagining an axe blade slicing through it.

"If they don't have a thieves gate I'll feel left out," Neil replied, taking her hand on her throat into his own and squeezing it. As usual, the two bounced back immediately. The guards barely glanced their way, and soon the clamor of the streets filled their ears. "Don't suppose there are any abandoned apartments around here, right?"

"If there are, I don't think there would be a sign." She quipped. But Neil did see her place a hand to her chin, as if she were thinking of the most likely sections of the city to contain abandoned areas. But then she shook the thought away. "The Grandmarkt is this way, past the docks. Let's hope Shallya let's us find somewhere we could sleep at least..."

Hours later...

The Gilded Ox was once a grand stone building with intricate carvings and ornamentation upon its crenelated façade. Now it is falling down, with large cracks across its stone walls and a crumbled and abandoned annex. The sign, with the visage of an ox, half peeled away, upon a red and white striped field, is faded and looks less gilded and more rusted. The Rusted Bull, some now called the tavern. Though not within ear shot of the owner, a surely, one-eyed dwarf named Kagri who ran the place like a well-oiled handgun. Neil and Emmaline had gotten all this information from a rake named Siegfried who had picked them out for a couple of chumps before Neil saw through his little sleight of hand scheme, called the Brettonian Drop Neil had used a few times, and managed to wrangle some real information out of him.

Now Emmaline and Neil found themselves walking under the squeaking sign of the Gilded Ox, walking in to find it much like Siegfried described. It was moderately large, maintained but not well furnished. There was a mix match of round and rectangular tables, and the timber planks on the walls and wood were reddish brown, giving the room a warm feeling coupled with the lamplight. A few mercenaries enjoyed themselves, chatting and cursing and snickering. A halfling sat in the corner with three different mugs of drink, as if trying to decide between them. A young local drank, bleary eyed with his face in his mug. A hooded man sat in the back, keeping to himself. A small number of couples and well to-do customers were there, but they were few and far between compared to the rougher men in hard leathers and stern looks. A table in the back had a bunch of locals laughing, carousing, one louder one pinched a barmaid as she passed by, but they were an outlier to the more moderate demeanor.

"You sure this is a good idea?" Neil asked Emma.

"What? It was your idea!" She snapped.

"Yeah, but you didn't talk me out of it." He pointed out.

"Can I help you?" A tired man in an apron asked, seemingly the only male on staff. He had caught them in his eye and stepped our from behind the small bar area. He had a lot of wrinkles for someone who did not look over forty, and was balding to boot. His lips were cracked, and he tilted his head to listen.

"We were looking for work." Neil said, sharing a look from Emmaline. "My lady here is a good dancer, and I'm a pretty good flute play-"

He snorted, showing his teeth in a sardonic smile. "Well, I could talk to old Kagri, but let me tell you right now. If you want work, we don't need no entertainers. Even if you're good. Kagri will just say..." He pointed at Emmaline. "Barmaid," and then pointed at Neil. "Bouncer. Sorry, but that's all we need. One of our girls ran off a few weeks ago and likely wound up dead. And it gets rough around these parts at night, and our last bouncer got killed."

Neil quirked an eyebrow, but Emmaline was glowering at the prospect of working with her hands, whispering. "Barmaid..." as if it was an unholy curse.

[Penny]

The drunk crashed heavily into the street, kicking up a sheet of dirty water from the overfilled drain that softened his fall. Passersby cursed or laughed depending on how much water sprayed and upon whom. Emmaline watched with amused interest as she set down the tray of wooden tankards on the bar. Jessup, a good natured if somewhat dim witted lad who served as the bars dishhand took he tray and vanished into the back with much clattering of pottery. Kargi emerged from the kitchen and shot her a furious one eyed glare.

"You had better no let me catch you pocketing tips," the dwarf grumped with the ill temper that only a dwarf that thinks he is being cheated of gold can muster.

"I won't," Emmaline replied impudently, giving the dwarf an offensively innocent smile. Kargi glared for a moment longer and then stomped away muttering in his own language about how if she didn't bring in twice the custom he would have her thrown onto the street. Being thrown onto the street was not appealing, though the converted hayloft in which she and Neil were living was hardly the high life to which she hoped to become accustomed. Unfortunately room in Altdorf was at somewhat of a premium, especially since the city was packed with panicky refugees. Emmaline could have returned to the College of Magic of course, but her erstwhile master would certainly want an installment on her dues and probably involve her in another of his harebrained plots. Even more importantly, if she was going to move the stolen Wyrdstone it was best that no one from the College knew she was back in town.

"All set," Neil said, dusting his palms of theatrically after his ejection of the thief. Emmaline reached into her cleavage and produced three fat gold pieces which she deposited into one of Neil's pockets to her lovers evident amusement. Neil had spent the last several days setting up the buy for the Wyrdstone. The magical nature of the clientele meant there was a better than average chance of being swindled unless you took sufficient precautions.

"I'm done with my shift!" Emmaline called and stripped off her apron with a suspicious metallic jingle. Kargi's shouted reply was unintelligible but it was close enough to the end of the afternoon shift for her to finish. With any luck they would be considerably richer by morning.

[POOHEAD189]

"Not zo fest!"

Neil and Emmaline were suddenly obscured by an immense shadow, and Neil's heart skipped a beat when he suddenly remembered his boasting the other night, and all that implicated. Emmaline could see a myriad of emotions, ranging from regret to amusement to acceptance flash across her lover's face. However, that was only for a brief moment, for the sight past her was more attention-grabbing. She tried not to gape as the Ogre, for it was indeed an Ogre, approached, wondering what in Sigmar's balls Neil had done to gain its ire.

It was Folgtooth, the biggest patron in the Gilded Ox. He came every fortnight, to drink two barrels of mead and eat half the pies in the tavern. Fully nine feet in height, he used the common room's sofa as a throne. Every time he came around, he attracted would-be groupies, and though he broke more glasses and shattered more chairs than anyone, Kargi tolerated him because of the good business, and the fact the Ogre scared off the less scrupulous who thought they might could take whatever bouncer was on duty. Except this time, it seemed like the monster had something to prove with the bouncer.

"Li'l man sez tonight be the night!" He rumbled, speaking with what passed as an inside voice for the lumbering brute. He wore a sleeveless jacket that barely fit his shoulders, keeping his gut open. On each of his forearms, he bore three bronzed rings. Whoever had tailor pantaloons that fit him, bravo. "You fink Folgtooth fo'get, but he dunnit!"

"Hey c'mon, man. I was just talking out of my ass, why don't we call it even?" Neil asked him, raising his arms to appear as nonthreatening as possible. Folgtooth did not like that answer, leaning down and showing his massive teeth. Emmaline hid behind Neil, peeking past his shoulder as she clung to his shirt.

"What did you do!?" She whispered accusatorily.

"I said I could beat him at arm wrestling and uh, that he was a big baby far from home." Neil remarked. He heard Emmaline's intake of breath, and got a bit defensive. "He was insulting you, I had to say something!"

"No, you didn't!" She snapped back. As sweet as it was, the main goal was to survive until they could sell the warpstone token. Neil knew that was what she was thinking, leastwise.

"We were drinking!" He complained. She rolled her eyes, but was interrupted before she could chastise him.

Folgtooth bellowed a guttural roar, and this time he was not using his inside voice. So loud was his yell, Neil felt his hair pick up from the excess wind, and the Ogre stomped on the ground, splintering a wooden panel like stepping on a twig. The Gilded Ox had gone horrifically quiet in abject fear. "Table! Or I eat youz and yer girl!"

"Alright big gu-" Neil started, then noticed Emmaline's grip had slackened. He turned and saw the tail of her dress fluttering as she was out the door. Well, that was awkward. He sighed, and turned back to face the Ogre. A female mercenary in hard leather stumbled out of the way, as did a local gaoler and one of the dockside workers as Folgtooth stumbled forward and plopped down on his couch, placing his huge elbow on the table.

Neil lifted his left arm, and gave it a good long look. "Goodbye leftie, we had a lot of fun together. We committed a lot of crimes, but we also made some people super happy too. I bet Emma will miss you as much as me...if I live..."

Neil found his seat across the table, all eyes on him as he rolled his sleeve up. The silence was only broken by a few whispers of either disbelief or insulting his intelligence. The thief could not blame them in the slightest, if he was honest with himself. He placed his own elbow on the table, and Folgtooth chuckled malevolently. The massive humanoid turned his head, his eyes fixing on a merchant who sipped his wine. "'Ey, youz! Youz getz to count down!" He ordered.

The merchant nearly spilled his drink, surprised the Ogre had singled him out. But swallowing, he placed his cup down and shakily got to his feet. "Er, of course, herr Ogre." He remarked, fixing his feathered cap and approaching the table. Folgtooth grinned at Neil as the merchant took his position at the side of the table, his pig-like eyes boring into the thief with an unspoken threat. Neil could already tell he planned to rip Neil's arm off.

They closed hands, Neil's relatively big hand engulfed by the Ogre's massive fist. The merchant looked at Neil like he was gazing at a dog that was about to be shot, and he raised his hand to begin the count. "Yes, are we ready?" Neil was not, but that hardly mattered. Briefly he thought about spitting in the Ogre's eye or getting a knife, but none of the thoughts ended well. "On three!... One...Two...Three!"

Neil pushed with all of his might, gripping the table with his other hand to steady himself as his muscled bulged in exertion. Folgtooth's arm barely budged, and the Ogre gave a smile that showed his vast teeth, as if he were ready to devour Neil once he took his arm. The Ogre began to chuckle ominously, gripping Neil's hand a bit more firmly for the kill...

A loud whistle rang out from across the common room, and both Neil and Folgtooth turned their heads to see Emmaline sauntering up, a massive pie in her hands. It was freshly baked, and Neil could smell the pie even from there. Folgtooth looked at it like a fish staring at a worm. "'Ey, wots she doin, wit dat?" He asked, dumbfounded. Emmaline batted her eyelashes.

"Oh this? It's just for Neil to have, since I know he'll lose. Poor bouncer, he works so hard!" She said with a theatric pout, holding the pie under Folgtooth's nose. The Ogre inhaled the sweet scent of the cooked blueberries stuffed in it, and gulped. Neil renewed his assault, and unbeknowst to either him or Folgtooth, Emmaline concentrated as well, having already prepared a spell of manipulation to help move the bronze rings during her absense. As one, both Neil and Emmaline shoved with their combined physical and magical might while the Ogre sniffed the delicacy, and before Folgtooth even knew it, his arm had hit the table with a 'thud.'

"Oh, wow." Emmaline marveled, placing the hand she had held behind her back for the spell to her lips. "I did not think you'd lose, handsome! Here, have this pie! It's freeeeessshhh." She placed it in front of the Ogre, who had let go of Neil's hand and grabbed the large baked good, opening his mouth impossibly wide to devour it. By the time the food had tumbled down his throat, Neil had grabbed Emmaline's hand and the two of them were out of there, the door banging against the wall from their flight, laughter following them.