Have you ever had your heart beat so fast you think its going to explode? Or that your so scared for what is to come, that instead of thinking logically, your brain shuts down and all you see is black. Then when your mind deems you safe again, that's when you come back to reality and your not in the situation you once were in? Because I defiantly have. And when I told that to my therapist she deemed it "Chronic Anxiety" And expected me to use medication the balances the things in my brain.

So instead of telling my therapist how I'm really feeling, I laugh to myself as I continue my walk around our local park that surprisingly fairly busy for how abandoned this little town is. The music that blast through my headphones slows to a stop, only for another song to start, more relaxing but still not what some would call "soothing".

Not that I minded that this little town is less busy than the one I had since resided in. This is what I wanted. Something smaller, something less crowded, no people., I thought to myself. I wanted to blend in. I so hated sticking out. It only opened yourself for failure. In a small town, less things happen. I was optimistic on moving away from my old house, away from any friends or family I ever had. They weren't good for me anyway.

I just hope that I can meet some new friends along the way, I thought as I came across a medium sized lake. I walked over to the bench that looks out across the body of water, resting there as I flipped through my phone to change my music.