[IC] Risus: The Anything RPG

[Dark Cloud]

[BREAKING NEWS]

"Interrupting the daily broadcast, some startling developments have occurred in upper Cityburg's building district where an altercation between the police and a masked man calling himself the 'Haberdasher' has come to a head. Several officers reported dead, apparently from being 'unfashionable' in the evildoers words. Currently his whereabouts are unknown but investigators say keep clear of any haberdasheries in the business district."

[Dark Cloud]

@rush99999

You hear the broadcast over an old-timey radio in your mayoral office, it sounds like troubling news. Troubling news, indeed.

[What do?]

[rush99999]

Mayor Robinson looked up from his coffee as he heard the breaking news report of the latest villain attack. As the name of the villain involved was mentioned, the Mayor pushed a button on his desk. "Martin, do we have anything regarding a villain calling himself the 'Haberdasher' in our files?" He calmly asked his file clerk through the desk intercom.

[Dark Cloud]

@Martian

On your regular route through the bustling streets of Cityburg you happen to pass by a department store window when the tv behind the glass made the emergency broadcast, something about a guy called the 'Haberdasher'? Villains and there shitty naming processes.

[What do?]

[Dark Cloud]

@rush99999

"..."

Silence passes, but the faint sound of file cabinets being frantically searched can be heard followed by a string of cursing. "Uh, it doesn't seem like we have anything on this 'Haberdasher' sir."

[rush99999]

"Then he must be new to the new to the city." Mayor Robinson said. "Thank you for checking, Martin." With that said, the Mayor picked up the phone and dialled the Police Commissioner's office. "Commissioner, I just heard heard the news about a new villain clashing with the police." The Mayor said once the call was answered. "How many did we lose?"

[Dark Cloud]

@rush99999

You hear the Police Commissioner sigh heavily "Not many, but he's a damn madman I tell you." he says sounding frustrated "How am I supposed to explain how hats nearly killed my officers!? the Commissioner adds exasperatedly "It's ridiculous, how in gods name do hats end up hurting people?!"

[rush99999]

"Stranger things have happened. The Cheesemonger was able to make a working Tommy gun out of cheese." The Mayor said. "But I digress. What can you tell me about this Haberdasher other than his ability to harm people with hats?"

[Martian]

@Dark Cloud

Benny was having a good day, delivering several Amazon packages in his favorite neighborhood here in Cityburg. The friendly postman then slowed down his truck, stopping in front of Kim’s Hardware Store. Old Man Kim always seemed to have a package coming in for him as Benny placed one in front of his shop almost every day. Benny continued to wonder about Kim’s buying habits until he walked past the display window for the department store next door.

On one of the ridiculously big TVs, Benny saw a breaking news report on some new villain attacking the upper district. While Benny had never heard of this Haberdasher, he had killed several cops. That automatically made him one of the worst villains in Benny’s opinion. So he knew that he had to go after to him.

Benny jumped back into his post office truck and then called his boss, telling him that he was taking a lunch break. Benny then sped down to the upper district. Once there he parked next to an alley, quickly getting out of the truck and running into the alley. Once he was sure that he was alone, Benny transformed into the form of Fireball, the greatest hero of Cityburg.

The seven foot tall demon looking thing then jumped into the middle of the street, startling several civilians. “Has anyone seen the villain called the Haberdasher?” asked Fireball in a deep, distorted voice.

[Dark Cloud]

@Martian People scream in terror at the sudden appearance of a fucking seven foot tall demon. Except one guy in a 'Fireball' T-shirt who looks winded from running unfortunately it's your number one fan Gabe, whose face is a minefield of acne and smells of sadness. "I know but, you gotta do something for me." you fear nothing but this, this you fear.

[Dark Cloud]

@rush99999 The Commissioner grunts his agreement before answering your question "Unfortunately we haven't been able to get a DNA sample but by his accent he's uh some kinda foreigner...But that's all we know."

[Martian]

@Dark Cloud
Fireball was a bit confused as people began to run from him. This wasn’t what he expected civilians’ response would be to a hero arriving to save the day. Fireball knew that he was quite tall and buff, so maybe they were envious of his physique and were running in shame over their bodies.

But through the fleeing crowd came one voice. Fireball turned to his right, spotting a familiar figure. He was wearing a Fireball t-shirt, the only time in person that Benny saw someone wearing one since he started selling them online. The infernal hero racked his mind for a name as the apparent fan came up to him.

He had wanted to say Keith, but then Benny remembered that was the sweaty guy at the card game tournaments. Granted they both looked similar, but as the fan got close, Benny recognized his specific acne. It was Gabe, the alleged number one fan of Fireball. Granted he was the only fan of Fireball that Benny had ever met.

Once Gabe finished talking Fireball said, “That’s not usually how these things work. I mean you point me at the villain and I defeat them. But I do help civilians when I can. So how can I help you?”