[IC] Bodacious Bounties: Bounty Hunter AU

[POOHEAD189]

Neil showed his teeth in the grin, and he pushed the bottle up off his palm to catch with a quick grab. His stomach grumbled loudly, and the smell of the cheese was overwhelming. Meatlovers was his favorite, and he hadn't had pizza in a hot minute. He plopped down on the couch, leaning forward and grabbing a slice for himself. With his cold bottle beside him, he scarfed down a slice, too hungry to initially savor the taste. His second slice he took his time with, rolling his shoulders so they loosened up from all the leaning they had been doing a mere minute ago.

"I win in the ring, I win in the game." He shook his head, as if lamenting a sincere tragedy. "I'm just too good." She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him, but it only caused him to break out a smile. He remembered when the two of them had first met, back on Hyperion. It was true, she had played him from the start, and admittedly they had some subsequent bumps. But when he had first flirted with her, he saw genuine interest in her eyes. Maybe he had knocked that out from his silliness, but a part of him wondered.

"You got some right..." He began, pointing to his left cheek. She gave an 'mmm' and grabbed a napkin, dabbing at it.

"Usually my drones tell me, but I guess they're lazy tonight." She remarked, the latter half of her statement rising an octave so the little machines could hear. There was a light buzzing in response.

Neil had finished his second piece and reclined in the sofa, taking his cold beverage and idly sipping it. "Where'd you learn to play like that?" He asked curiously. "I know it's a cliche that bounty hunters are slick and cool, but you're pulling it off well." Next she'll tell him she drive a grav-bike and wears a black leather jacket.

[Penny]

Jocasta snagged a piece of pizza and hopped up onto the edge of the pool table, crossing her booted feet as she curved the pizza and took a mouthful, chewing hungrily. Drones poked their occulars up from behind cover evidently feeling somewhat embarassed. She masticated the delicious pie for a moment and swallowed a mouthful.

"I learned in the navy," Jocasta admitted. Cygi marched across the deck in an ancient naval uniform, the tune of 'Anchors away' blaring. Jocasta snickered and took another drink, feeling the warm lemony liquor spread through her body.

"We had a couple of zero-g tanks," she explained. The zero gravity pool tables allowed 3-D play which the Navy thought was good for pilots. The force projected walls slowed the balls, but there was a great deal more ricocheting than in the regular game. A good shot could often sink three or four balls in second and third order collisions. It also meant that the table changed radically between shots.

"I was pretty good, but always a little heavy with the stick," she admitted, winking at Neil as she took another bite of Pizza.

[POOHEAD189]

"Really?" He asked, his tone suggestive as he leaned in closer. "Maybe you can show me the technique someti-"

Cygi popped between them and flared red, blaring a bugle from the 1800s as huge letters flashed WARNING: DO NOT TOUCH in Neil's face. The light stung his eyes and he involuntarily jumped from the sudden noise. Cygi's barrier disappeared almost as quickly as it came, though she began to march between Neil and Jocasta like she was stationed at a picket line, a musket with a bayonet leaning against her shoulder as she strutted between them. Neil bonked his head with the heel of his hand thrice, and shook his head.

"Ow..." He complained.

"What about you stud?" Jocasta asked, clearly amused.

"What about what?" Neil asked, grabbing another slice of pizza. He bit into it, and he marveled at how good it still was.

"You said you were in the army?" She asked, looking over.

"I did some ground work as a spy, but that wasn't much. I was mostly an engineer and a mech pilot. In the Valk war on Fortus. Or I was until I got tired of it, hence the bounty." He waved a finger once, as if scratching off a check mark.

[Penny]

“The paycheck raises a good point,” Cygi declared turning to face Jocasta with large cartoon dollar signs in her eyes, “he is worth a lot of money.” Jocasta rolled her eyes at the AI’s antics.

“It is just not proper to turn someone in after you have shared pizza with them,” Jocasta rejoined. It was just possible that she could sell Neil to another bounty hunter at a discount, and pocket the money to fix the ship, but brokering such a deal would be very risky. Besides she could admit that he was growing on her. Cygi placed her hands on her holographic hips.

“What about that job on Pneumonax, or the one on Kappa Kappa 12, or the Sindic job, or the …” Jocasta waved Cygi to quiet while Neil’s eyebrows climbed higher.

“That is an awful lot of pizza related bounties,” Neil pointed out in a neutral tone.

“Well the Sindic thing doesn’t count, I was only using the pizza as an improvised smoke grenade,” Jocasta replied somewhat defensively.

“Changing the topic, a lot of people have trouble with armies, not every deserter get slapped with a multi-million credit bounty,” Jocasta pressed. She picked up another shot of liquor and tossed it back, this one was piney to the point of making her eyes water.

“So what gives?” she demanded.

[POOHEAD189]

It occurred to Neil there that this was real curiosity. Sure, he hadn't expected her to be playing him all this time, but at the back of his mind he had always been somewhat wary of her intentions. Maybe it was the fact he had been on the run for the better part of two years, or maybe it was the big point of her having tricked and caught him in the first place. Yeah, both were good points. But still, he felt it somewhat unreasonable now. Hell, the biggest thing that annoyed him at first was that she was a little too nice about it. She had even taken care of his fish! His opinion had gradually shifted (well, gradually for Neil), but now he just felt a sense of kinship beyond the magnetism of physical attraction and her penchant for mischief which mirrored his own.

He scarfed down the slice of pizza and washed it down with another swig from the bottle, covering his mouth as he gave a low, almost imperceptible burp.

"Well, I guess you've accumulated enough points to unlock my tragic backstory." He said with a grin. His feet were crossed, left foot on the table with his right atop it. He loosely held the bottle in his right hand, idly swinging it back and forth.

"When the Valk war broke out, I was in highschool. I was a troublemaker, apparently. Can you believe that? Me? Anyway, I was never really political. Most of my family wasn't either, except one of my big sisters. She was very anti-government. Almost a picket-sign kind of activist. Once I graduated, I took a year of college before I joined up with the Ordo Sanctus, fighting the great fight against the oppressive UNF. I'll be honest, I just wanted to work on big mechs and fight in them, and the UNF needed you to go through all this training, so I went with the rebels. And I was good at it." As if to emphasize the point, a highlight reel of the day's fight flashed on the holovid behind him.

"I was so good the UNF even had a small bounty on me before things went south. But eventually, one day the 189 got torn apart. I had to run, and I ended up on this small countryside house. As luck would have it, a girl mechanic lived there. One thing led to another, she helped me fix my mech and we fell in love. I kind of wish we hadn't, maybe she'd still be alive." He was staring blankly now, until the world came back to him and he took another swill of the alcohol.

"Either way, one of her brothers was a high ranking UNF member. Both the UNF and the Ordo found out, but I was way too stubborn to let politics and protocol stop me. The Ordo tried to take away my mech, but I got out of there. They renounced me and said I went rogue. She told me her brother could help us. I thought that sounded alright, but turns out the higher ups in the UNF didn't see it that way. Apparently some official thought this was an Ordo Sanctus ploy. I guess they figured it was too story book to be real, and her brother was compromised. I found out later he had a rival that wanted him dead, but that doesn't matter now I guess. So they set up an ambush for me at MJ's house, my girlfriend I mean, and there was a lot of shooting. She ended up... anyway I was arrested. I was um... I wasn't feeling my best, you could say. So I broke out, hacked into their systems from a terminal, and released their tetryl explosive reserves. It was easy, it was all automated, and then I got on the comms and told everyone to evacuate. Of course I locked the automated doors to the upper floor so all the decision makers had less time to get out, but to this day I still don't know if they did. During that time, I ran and grabbed a military grade shuttle while they were scrambling, and I got off the planet."

He cleared his throat, shaking his head so the fringe would get out of his eyes. "Of course, teytryl is a toxic substance, not only explosive. I found out later they counted that as illegal chemical warfare, so they stacked that ontop of the earlier 'rebellion' thing and resisting arrest. And since I was a criminal, I went to work for a guy named Sven, doing the usual repairs and system maintenance. Smuggling every now and then. That lasted for about a year. But then I got tired of that and ended up on Hyperion 3, working at a repairshop for about 8 months until this hot biker chick showed up and charmed me into her spaceship."

He gave her a wink. "Hey, don't feel bad about it. It's been fun so far. Apparently I can't stay in one place too long. Might as well have a partner while fate kicks me across the galaxy."

[Penny]

"Well that is very sad," Jocasta admitted, "except for the hot biker chick part of course."

She wobbled, feeling the effects of multiple shots of unknown liquors over the past few minutes. She steadied herself with exaggerated dignity.

"Though this is no excuse for beating me at pool," she mused, leaning back against the table and closing one bright green eye to try and banish the slight twist everything was developing. For a moment she thought about mentioning that Dirk was technically her partner, but decided that this might not be a politic time to do so, beside she hadn't heard anything about him in months so it probably didn't matter.

"Well at least you don't have a bounty for kicking puppies and what not," Jocasta continued, "I hate that.

"Alshoow you is kinduf cute whicsh is a pluss," she admitted.

[POOHEAD189]

"Well if it makes you feel better, I definitely got lucky." He said, holding a finger up. He wasn't quite as far gone as her, likely because of the amount of pizza slices and the fact he weighed a bit more than her, but he still felt a bit unsteady. But fun, at least.

"Ifv I had a bounty for kickin puppies, you'd probably have noticed by now. Those jerks that attacked your ship when you grabbed me had pippy kuckers written all over them... poopy kookers. Puppy kickers, yeah that." He laughed like a mischievous boy, which he sort of was despite his well-built form.

Despite the alcohol, when he heard her admit he was cute, he scrambled to his feet and then slid over as if he had some backlogged programming to use in case of flirtation. It was very much how he approached her when she first showed up. "Oh, thank you for noticing." He said, wiggling his eyebrows. She giggled, though with him or at him he was not sure. He did not stop the act, however, pretending to gaze at the back of his hand as if he was completely nonchalant about the entire affair.

"So... what are you doing later?" He asked her, his voice notably deeper in a exaggerated attempt at being suave. "Or now? Because I'm free. I mean, I'd need to check my schedule. But I'm pretty sure. Unless you're not, in which case I'm busy too. But I'm totally free. And kind of cute. Not you, me. You're hot, though. I mean like hot hot, like scalding like..." The cogs in his mind were whirring, before some brain cell hit it with a monkey wrench. "Before I drag this out any further, wanna make out?"

He suddenly hiccuped, eyes going wide for a brief moment. Cygi popped up behind him, laying in a guille suit with a sniper rifle aimed at Neil's head.

[Penny]

Jocasta giggled both at Neil and at Cygi's performance. The AI clearly didn't like sharing the spotlight. It was inevitable, Cygi had begun life as a signals intelligence program, it was her nature to mistrust, particularly once someone had been tagged as enemy. The rest of Cygi's behavior was more difficult to rationalize.

"Su's very confident after narrowlys beatings me at pool," Jocasta slurred. She took another shot glass from the pool table and downed it with a quick gulp. It was extremely sour and made her lips pucker.

"It's important to be gracious in victory," Neil agreed with drunken solemnity.

"Fine, then it would be churlish of me to deny a victor a chaste victory make out," Jocasta agreed. Neil opened his mouth to laugh but before any noise could escape Jocasta leaped into his arm and planted a kiss on his lips. In his drunken state Neil staggered, stepped back, hit the edge of the pool table and the both tumbled onto the felt table top.

[POOHEAD189]

Neil had not expected it to work, but drink did make him have even less inhibitions than normal, and he was glad he charged through. When his buzzed mind was trying to check his files on what churlish meant, Jocasta kissed him thoroughly, Neil was so surprised and off balance she was able to shove him back into the pool table, the two landing atop it, legs dangling off the side.

You know, for all of the complications that had arisen from being caught by Jocasta, he was starting to think it was all worth it. He got to fight in a mech again, he nearly chocked laughing multiple times, got to be on holo-vids across an enormous collection of space stations, and now he found himself eating pizza, drinking good drinks, and finally making out with one of the most fun, attractive girls he had ever known. Yeah, it sucked but it's paying off.

One of the billiard balls shot out from under Neil's back, clacking against another. He grunted but was a bit too preoccupied with the extremely hot woman atop him.

"Whoa," he marveled.

"I am a generou-" She started, but Neil grabbed the fringes of her jacket and pulled her to him, kissing her back. Their lips pressed and within seconds, tongues met. He felt her hand in his hair and for his part, he grabbed her backside with his right to help her onto the felt table as his left curled around her back. He tastes alcohol, but she had a nice taste to her he couldn't quite make out (and he chuckled at the pun). They lay there, not undressing but not pulling away either.

Neil decided to play with her belt, yanking on it a bit to make her backside shake. As he did so, his fingers brushed something familiar. He blinked, pulling a small gun off her and looking past her hair to confirm. Wait, that was his gun from his apartment! He had thought he lost it! He was going to complain!

She slid a hand down his neck and placed it on his chest, before sliding around his body to hold him tighter, her mouth opening wider to kiss him more hungrily.

...He could complain later maybe...

As he placed the gun down and further entangled himself with her, on the holo-tube, a sportscaster's voice rose, saying "The victory of Neil Edwards tonight was spectacular, and the previous showmanship of his women companion awed the audiences! It appears these two were ready to rock space itself tonight!"

[POOHEAD189]

Neil awoke to a loud, incessant alarm blaring in his ear. He gave a start, his eyes popping open. He felt a weight onto of him, and he realized it was Jocasta's slumbering form, her frizzles hair splayed everywhere, tickling his nose. His back and tailbone ached, and he realized that the two of them, drunk and horny, had fallen asleep atop the billiards table. Another alarm blared, and he was suddenly aware it was Cygi. She wore a loud pantsuit outfit with lights on every stitching and a huge sign, not unlike the one Jocasta held the night before, with large flashing lights that said 'WARNING.'

"Intruders! Gunmen! Get your lazy ass up, money bags!" She cried, her mouth having turned into a loudspeaker for the occasion.

"Jo!" Neil implored, and he realized his hands were still firmly on her butt. He started slapping it. "Jo! Jo! Jo! Get up!"

She snorted, lifting her head with one eye closed. It was then Neil understood just how good of a bounty hunter she truly was. It took her less than a second to come to terms with the situation, see Cygi pointing to the exit, and she swung her legs to pivot her body, grabbing the gun Neil had taken off her pants six hours before. She twisted, spinning to lay atop him at an odd angle, crushing his stomach with her elbow as three men with assault rifles entered the room, one after the other, firearms held at the ready. She killed the first two with well aimed shots to the neck, the gun itself firing ionized rounds that glowed white as they left the barrel. The third man saw his companions die and he rolled under the third shot, swinging his gun to the billiards table and firing.

At this point, both Neil and Jocasta pitched off the table at opposite ends, the bullets ripping into the wood and fabric, nearly sawing the table in two. Jocasta hit the ground and rolled, switching the gun to burst fire and returning fire to suppress him as she gathered herself.

Neil groaned, having landed on a number of the rock hard balls. His body felt like shit, but everyone who knew him remembered he was good at three things. Tenacity, survival, and causing trouble. He utilized all three by taking a red ball while plasteel and wood fragments were tossed in the air from the ensuing firefight, and with a quick look at the man's flank, suddenly raised himself up and threw it with all his strength. As usual, Neil had an air for accuracy. The ball impacted on the man's full-face visor, cracking it and sending him falling on his ass. The scoundrel had scrambled to his feet, and before the mercenary knew it, Neil leaped off the couch and hit the man full-tackle, knocking him to the ground for a second time. They struggled briefly, but Neil had surprise and the strength of urgency, and he found himself with his arm wrapped around the paramilitary soldier's neck. The gun had long since clattered to the ground, pushed away by scrabbling feet.

"Who sent you!?" Neil asked him, and when there was no answer he shook the man. "Who sent you!?"

"Harkssssssssshhhhhkkcsk" was the reply.

"Oh, right." Neil responded, letting go of his neck. He heard the man gasp, falling forward on his hands, catching his breath. However, it didn't end the way Neil expected. Behind him, in the doorway, a man cocked his gun and pressed it against Neil's back. Neil's face went from excitement to boredom. "Oh, cool."

"Drop the weapon!" A tall man in full body armor demanded of Jocasta.

[Penny]

Jocasta considered her options. Fast as she was, accurate as she was it was unlikely she could take the man out before he squeezed the trigger. Even if she managed it there was every possibility he would squeeze the trigger in his death throes and kill Neil just as dead as if he deliberately pulled the trigger. Cygi was nowhere to be seen, obeying her instructions not to reveal herself to hostiles unless it could bring Jo an advantage and a swarm of giant killer bees or whatever zany form Cygi chose as a distraction wasn't going to turn the tide.

"Fine, fine..." Jocasta said, clicking the safety on and tossing the weapon into a waste bin with a metallic thunk.

"You owe me a new pool table," Jocasta accused the interloper crossly. The stranger chuckled and jammed the muzzle of his gun harder into Neil's back.

"Consider it compensation for the two men you killed," he sneered.

"They were like... half a pool table's worth at best," Jocasta replied.

"Yes, I was warned of your wit Miss Ap'Glynn," the unknown gunman replied, showing no signs of being amused.

"Hey my mother was Miss Ap'Glynn you can call me.... actually I suppose its fine," she conceded.

"I appreciate a good claim jump, I really do but perhaps we can come to some kind of a deal which will restore my pool table to its former glory? We could start with your name?" she suggested.

[POOHEAD189]

"The deal is, I take him, and you're coming with us." The man said, as if it was the simplest thing in the universe. He pressed the barrel of his gun against the back of Neil's head for emphasis. The bounty ticket made a face, showcasing the position of his arms and the material of the gun against his head was not the most comfortable in the world. Jocasta stood up, hands in the air. She reached to brush her thick hair, but the man barked for her to stop.

"Calm down, jeez." Jocasta marveled, lowering her hands again to a more neutral height. "This is not how one negotiates."

"You think I give a fuck?" The gunman asked. "Start moving!"

Jocasta scoffed, giving a good show of confidence. "Look buddy, you come in here, wake us up, we're hung over, filled with pizza. You do know where you are, right? This is an official mecha fighting area. How do you plan on getting past security? I mean, look at that clunker right there! You realize how long it took us to give it that kind of shine?"

Neil's face twisted in confusion. They never gave it a shine, did they? He glanced at Hunk, and saw just a rough silhouette of his and the hired gun's reflection. He was about to look away, before he realized...he could see the hired gunman's reflection! Not well, but enough to give him a good scope to gauge his movements.

"You mean nothing to us," The man said with a chilling finality. Neil knew his next words would have no bluff in them. He would kill Jocasta if she did not comply. "You are going to come with me. I'm giving you until the count of three..."

Neil had to act. "Can I at least-" he started, raising a hand. At the corner of his eye, he saw the slight change in color along Hunk's steel as the hired gun raised his weapon to butt Neil in the back of the head. He smiled inwardly, amused that one word from him could annoy someone so much.

He felt time slow, felt himself exhale, and inhale, and he ducked so late he swore he felt the wind of the weapon gently brushing his hair. Without hesitating, Neil glanced back and reached up, gripping the killer's weapon arm as he regained his feet, trying to grapple the assault rifle out of his hands. Neil immediately knew he was not in an advantageous position, his arms unable to lock with his opponent, and Jocasta flew behind the couch as the man's weapon discharged, bullets firing across the room, cutting holes through furniture, memorabilia, and shattering half finished bottles of whiskey. Neil felt the immense heat of the ammunition fuming into his face, stinging his cheek until the clip was empty, before he lashed back with his elbow. The man had armor, but he managed to hit the spot between the chest plate and the belt, causing the gunman to stagger for a second. Neil spun, getting hit in the face by a palm, but undeterred as he bowled the man over and they started wrestling on the ground. After a few moments fraught with struggle, his assailant got his feet under Neil's stomach and launched the thief into the air. Neil cried out, hitting the ground in a long half-roll, half-slide before he hit the tail end of the fallen billiard table. His hand finding Jocasta's fallen gun.

"Hey, thanks." Neil said quickly as the man went for his assault rifle, only able to get his gun up before the ionized round from Jo's gun punched through his chest. The gaping wound cauterized within the span of a second. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out save a wheeze, before he collapsed onto the floor with a loud thud, breaking the plate of his face helm.

"It's safe now!" Neil called with mock enthusiasm.