[IC] Angel With A Shotgun

[Aalakrys]

Stupid was the only word which formed in her mind remotely close to describe the situation as she leaned heavily against the brick wall, feel hurt but not allowing the tears to fall. I can't even think of a better word. Gosh, I'm so simplistic. Biting back a sob, Clarissa Middleton let herself fall hard into the brick wall behind her as her mind flashed back to today's memories as well as the ones they brought up.

A nice charming brunette had been the end to her already really bad day. He'd become a regular at the diner within the last few weeks, always coming in during her shift to get only a cup of coffee. She was all professional polite smiles and idle required chatter, but thought nothing of it as she did with all of her customers at first. His nice manner didn't take long to change as he became suggestive and grabby though, recalling all of her memories of school directly before she left. Boys who had previously been polite to her started cornering her, making accusative and insinuative advances. One went as far as to touch her before a teacher discovered them, tossing the boy out and hauling her to the office with the honest intentions of calling her family for support but instead creating a spectacle. Her step-father arrived and she flinched away from him when he cooed and beckoned her into his arms. That was the night she left - just like tonight was her last shift at work when she upturned the pot of hot coffee on the man's pretty head.

Knowing she needed the job, she listened to the head chef and owner's yelling, but couldn't bring herself to apologize for that man had been in the wrong. As her boss yelled and pointed out that it was what men did to girls who had put themselves in the position, he accused her of starting the trouble, she went hollow - reminding herself that she needed the job. She needed the money. It wasn't until her boss started untying her apron forcefully that she snapped back to reality. It was after hours and she had only stuck around to attempt to argue for her job, so no one was around to protect her. She felt like she was suffocating for a moment, but then her instincts kicked in. The man was larger than her by strength and frame, but all men had the same weaknesses when faced by a tiny little girl. Stomping down heavily with her heel on the man's worn sneaker and instantly flat palming his nose, she kneed his groin easily in his shock and turned to flee - tossing the apron over her shoulder as she reached the door.

Once she made it a few blocks away, mostly sticking to back alleys she was familiar with, she slowed after climbing a fire escape to rest. He'll call the cops ... was her first thought. I've lost all my jobs ... was her second. She wept quietly as her legs dangled over the edge of the fire escape, her head tucked into her folded arms resting on the bars. To anyone who noticed her sitting up there, she looked to be sleeping - that was something Marks had taught her.

Marks the pain in her chest felt fresh as the name she'd pushed down for so long emerged unbidden. He'd shown her how to live on the streets, but pretty much sold her for a fix. She actually had believed him when he denied it once she caught back up with him again - it wasn't hard to do living on the streets. Drugging her the same night and taking advantage of her ended that trust. When she woke, he was passed out - high and tripping from a fix, most likely - so she took her chance to flee after gathering her wits about herself again. Bitterness and irony took over - she was only seventeen at the time, but wouldn't have known what to do without his previous year of street-training her.

After that incident, she'd attempted to find her childhood friend - the only person she had left to turn to - but found that whole situation awkward once she finally did find her. No one will miss you if you just go back to being gone her friend's mother had said one day as she made her way to leave. Don't bring your life into my child's ever again. So, she didn't. Instead, years later, she found herself leaning against a brick wall wondering why life had to be so against her no matter how hard she tried.

If I'm so stupid and my life is useless ... then I could at least be a brave coward and end it had been her thought as she woke up that morning, but she pushed it away when it was time to get ready for her first job, only distracted from the idea simply because time was ticking and she had to be at work in thirty minutes. Now, as she stared at the ledge in front of her, the memory seemed mere moments ago instead of hours. Taking a few steps forward, she looked over the edge without seeing the rushing waters below, feeling hollow still as she stood on the ledge. Wind whipped at her face, tossing her long hair along as she spread her arms. And I have no one to say goodbye to ... what a pointless existence this has been.

[Touch of Insanity]

Kyle walked back and forth in front of his father’s office. He had to tell his father he was going down, he couldn’t put up with just watching anymore. Sure, angels were meant to help from their places in heaven. Watching through the portals in the clouds, staring down at the people they had been assigned. Most, no all angels had a life up here on their off time, it was a way for them to distance themselves from the human they were meant to save. After all, not all could be saved. People must die when their number is up. Her clock was ticking and he had done knowing to help her. He felt worthless. His golden eyes started to water as his fists tightened. Why was he so useless!

It was rare for an angel to go down to stop a death. It was only when a message was sent from the higher ups that humans could cheat death. Therefore, the true job of a guardian angel was meant to make their lives useless, and happy. However, over the years that had become harder and harder with the changes in history. At least woman had rights, a chance to be happy with. Woman were always the hardest to keep happy, men were hardest to keep pure. “Damnit!” He yelled before running from his father’s office, to pass one of his sisters.

“Kyle?” She said turning to watch him run pass her.

“I can’t let another die. Not so young.” He said feeling the tears spill over. The last time he had cut in and tried to save his human went badly. He was always reminded by the cut along his left eye where the murderer almost murdered him too. His father had saved him at the last second, cutting the human’s life short and earning Kyle more time training and shaming his family.

He reached his watching station, the soft glow of sky blue changed to darkness the city lights the only reason he could see her clearly. “Damnit Clarissa! You’re smarter than this!” He yelled pointlessly at the portal. He knew she couldn’t hear her. He looked up and around before quickly looking back down at her as she slowly walked closer towards the edge. “I’m sorry I’m such a bad angel.” He whispered as a tear rolled from his eye down his cheek and chine before dripping into the portal. A large light beam up almost blinding Kyle as his hands came up to protect his face.

The next thing he knew was he was falling. He could see the night sky all around him, the city far below. He turned in the hair the wind making his hair and clothing go wild and his wings uselessly wrapped around his body. He looked up at the stars, heaven unseen, before he took in a deep breath. “I can do this.” He said before he turned around again to face the city he was falling towards. He let his wings open and he caught himself before turning his body to dive down towards Clarissa. “I can save you if it’s the last thing I do as a guardian.” He said that more to himself then to her as he closed in towards her. One more second and she’d be falling, his hand reached out and grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her back onto the roof as he hit the roof hard, gravity not his friend.

Grunting a little his wing screaming in pain he sat up and looked at the human he had just given extra time. “Shit.” He said now realizing what he had just done. He was going to be in a lot of trouble. “Umm, hi. Ah, yeah.” He said blushing a little as he starched the back of his head. “Please don’t freak out.”

[Aalakrys]

At spreading her arms, fear began to creep into the emptiness without warning, causing tears to form on her light eyelashes. She closed her eyes against them and took a breath, lifting her face up to the sky before reopening them to sigh out the breath she'd taken. There are never any stars visible in this miserable place, floated into her mind subconsciously, wondering if that would make a difference as she closed her eyes again, letting the wind wrap its way all around her body and outstretched arms for a moment longer.

No, this was not a hesitation, she knew as she leveled her head with her shoulders once again. More of a saying goodbye to the only thing she'd ever known, taking in all with her senses. Opening her eyes once again as a single tear fell, she leaned forward. Even the wind seemed to protest her decision, pushing strongly against her as she fell forward in slow motion. Just as her the toes of her slippers were leaving the ledge, something darted so quickly past her that she had felt herself instinctively attempt to whirl herself around only to be pulled backwards by her shirt by the shoulder. The sudden jerk of the fabric tugged at her neck so that it hurt and one of her ankles scraped the brick ledge as she fell back onto the roof.

Landing on the loose gravel atop the roof grazed the arm she'd fallen on, and she felt the knee on the same side burn beneath her cotton legging. Propping up on one hand as the rest of her still lie on the gravel, she saw the figure of what had darted past her and pulled her back onto the roof lying in a heap in front of her. Instantly, her eyes widened in shock: It - he had wings! He stirred only a second later, muttering something, and then looking directly at her with a bashful face as he said hello. She lie, mouth still almost agape, stunned by what she was seeing. Only did she blink when he asked her not to panic.

Blinking a few more times as she pushed herself backwards to sit on the legs she'd brought to fold under her, she placed her hands in her lap and softly, but hesitantly asked, "Wh ... why did you stop me?" Registering the wings, she could guess, but it didn't make much sense as she thought - her mind slowly calming enough to do so.

[Touch of Insanity]

When Kyle hit the roof top, his hand which had pulled on Clarissa’s shirt lost its grip, as he slide along the gravel. Lucky for him, his long sleeved shirt and pants saved his skin from being ruffed up, but he could feel a slight burn. However, what hurt the most was his left wing, he flinched a little knowing he had most likely broken it. Grunting a little he sat up, looking at his own wing trying to move it only to grind his teeth more, the other wing moving fine. He could hear the intake of breath of Clarissa making him glance over and mumble to himself before blushing a small smile. He pushed up a little more only wincing a little as he waved and told her not to freak out. She didn’t but that didn’t make him feel any better as she just stared at him.

He knew he wasn’t human and it was a big thing to take in, but honestly, he would have dealt better with her freaking out. He could feel his chest tighten as she stared at him. It was like she was reading his soul, he felt exposed and wanted to cover himself with his hands as if that would stop her. But before he could move more than tightening his hand into a small grip on the gravel, she finally blinked. Well he didn’t kill her of shock, that was a starter. He bite his lip a little still just waiting for her to say anything. It really had only been a minute of silence but to Kyle it had felt like five. His heart was beating a little fast, the panic still lingering before she finally spoke making him let out the breath he had been unknowingly holding. “Umm.” He said dragging out the word as he tried to figure out how to do this. They didn’t teach you this in training, after all humans were meant to know about angels. “Ah.” That was no better. He closed his mouth and sighed a little before shifting to take his weight off his hands without letting his left wing leave the ground. He rubbed his face a little before looking at her, the way she had just done to him.

“Ah-damnit speak you idiot.” He started off before muttering to himself. Why did he have to be so god damn awkward?! So he looked at the ground. “Well, I’m your guardian angel. A pretty bad one. But yeah. Umm angels are real, and well I just, um, did something really bad but know you have extra time on your life. In other words you just cheated death.” He said speaking a little quickly and a little quietly before glancing up at her again, before blowing a little to get the hair out of his golden eyes.

[Aalakrys]

Her attention had been captivated by the golden eyed, white haired divine sitting before her as he fumbled for words, her mind's curiosity and wonder pushing out all her negative emotions and thoughts temporarily. Watching him, her face crinkled slightly as her head tilted when he muttered to himself - angels certainly were not as well-versed and eloquent as she would've thought. Perhaps it was because he appeared to be so young, she thought just before he announced his title as her guarding angel.

Hearing that news stunned her once more, causing her to sit back straight up and her eyes to widen. As he went on, she could only blink at his words for a moment. The information he gave immediately turned her curiosity and wonder into sorrow and pain. Her clenched fist which had formed at the news rose to her chest as tears began to form and emotion was evident as she said, "I didn't want to cheat death. If you're my guardian angel, then you would see that. This life is meaningless and worthless. I'm just taking up resources that others who want to be here could be using."

[Touch of Insanity]

As Kyle worked on trying to explain to Clarissa what had just happened and how he just saved her from the fated time of her death, he didn’t notice her pain- at first. He blew the white hair from his face before his golden eyes fell on her. The hurt in her eyes made his eyes go wide. What had he done wrong? He just saved her life! He just broke laws and was going to be thrown from his family- or so he believed. He leaned back a little resting on his open hands against the hard gravel, making the tiny rocks stick the skin of his palms. He took in a sharp breath as the pain started to mix with anger. Her hands curling into fists. But would scared him the most was when she started to cry, not in happiness but in pain and anger. . . all towards him.

It felt like he had just been stabbed in the heart. His one hand started to slip off the gravel to grab his chest, but stopped as he winced again, his wing taking on some of his weight when it shouldn’t have. However, despite his own pain he didn’t stop staring at her, the hurt in his eyes before he slowly let his eyes fall to the ground below her. “I wanted. . . to fix my failure. I’ve been alive for 2,100 years, and. . . not one of my people have – have been successful. It’s-It’s because I was your guardian that. . . you had such a hard time. I meant to help you through the issues. I tried but-I don’t know.” He said softly as he stumbled on words and paused trying not to cry again. Even as he tried not to cry his eyes started to water before he took was crying on the roof top with her. “I’m sorry.” He whispered before hiding his face in his hands.

He sobbed softly for a moment before laughing bitter at himself. “Look at me. Crying in front of my human when I should be helping her.” He muttered to himself before taking in a long deep breath and glancing up at her. His eyes red from crying, his pale skin simmering in the dim light of the city because of the tears on his cheeks. “I.” He paused struggling again. “I wanted to make it all better. Always be there for you like I should have been. I-I’ll stay here until you agree life is worth living.” He said before taking in a slow breath, his eyes closing as his hands came up to his chest, only a small wince crossing his face as the wing took on his weight again. “Light of the angel, let me walk among God’s children.” He whispered before his hands gripped each other tightly. A soft yellow glow over took his body for a moment as his wings broke up into tiny pieces of paper that seemed to burn up into ash as they blew away, his hair became a more yellow colour, his skin gain a slight colour before the glow disappeared. He opened his eyes a hazel colour looked back at Clarissa. “No one will hurt you so long as I am alive. I promise.” He said giving her a small weak smile that only appeared on one side of his face. His one hand started to reach out towards her as if offering it to her. He just wanted her to accept his help.

[Aalakrys]

All of Clarissa's reasons for wanting to end her life by leaping off the ledge had poured into her mind as her emotions came out in her words. She felt hurt to hear that she had a guardian angel, as bizarre as that had been to accept even if she was of sound mind and not weighed down by these heavy emotions of grief. Not knowing how the workings of guardian angels functioned and only basing it off of things she'd heard as a child during the church sessions she'd attended when visiting her cousins before moving across the country, she only felt wronged since she did her best to be a good person despite her circumstances. What kind of omnipotent being who was charged with watching over her would leave her in that misery? A misery so strong that no matter how she fought against it, it led her to this ledge.

As he grabbed his chest, seemingly in pain at her words, and dropped his gaze to give some form of explanation, Clarissa felt her resolve to be angry weaken as his voice dwindled. His broken apology just as he found refuge in his palms made her instinctively reach out for him, but she pulled her hand back at his bark of bitter laughter. She blinked, still sitting as she had been when she purged her emotions through her words, when he looked back to her and began to speak again.

Before she could consider his words, he had already decided based off his decision to join humanity in appearance. Briefly considering that she was actually dead and this wasn't real, being forced to absorb the knowledge of guardian angels existing, must less one wanting to bind himself to her happiness, Clarissa glanced at his offered hand. Her own hand still clenched to her chest with the other in her lap, she looked back up at him - how could she trust the unreliable angel? She blinked again, before allowing the tenseness in her shoulders relax, her hands still frozen where they were though as she asked, "What is your name?"

Upon hearing his answer, she hesitated as she slowly slid the leg attached to her bleeding knee beneath the cloth out and running the hand in her lap lightly along it and extending her other out skeptically to the angel in front of her. "It ... is nice to meet you," She wasn't sure why the words came out, considering how much anger she'd felt only moments earlier, but it felt like the right thing to say.

[Touch of Insanity]

When his change was finally finished, he could feel the small ache from his wing which had folded into his back. A reminder to him that he could no longer fly and needed to fix it. How, he didn’t know, nor did he really care at this very moment. All that mattered was making things right with Clarissa. Kyle placed his hands back down on to the gravel of the roof top and started to push himself gravity fighting him, his body felt heavy. At first he just blushed as he couldn’t get up, his body was adjusting to the weight of not only a human form but a gravity heavy world. Taking in a deep breath he could feel the pollution of the air all around him pressing down on his chest.

He finally was able to push himself up onto his knee before leaning forward to hold his hand out for Clarissa. Her hand was at her chest, confusion looming from her core. So he smiled at her, it touched his hazel eyes as he held his hand out a little closer to her. “It’s okay.” He said softly his voice rather musical sounding. When she still didn’t reach her hand out for his a bit of hurt came into his eyes but he didn’t let his smile fade. “I know I’m kinda awkward but, I shouldn’t drop you.” He carried on laughing softly, it was a weak laugh but it was him trying to get her to accept that he wasn’t a bad person.

She spoke, which made his heart race with happiness. He was slowly getting her acceptance after how bad of an angel he had been to her, how he had just made her cheat death when she shouldn’t have and lastly, she was taking in the idea of what he really was. “Oh right. I guess I didn’t say it.” He said before letting his hand drop to the ground to finally push himself up to standing. He could still feel the weight but he was starting to adjust. He place his one hand closed over his chest facing in towards, the other placing flatly at his side before he gave a sharp bow, he was impressed he didn’t fall over. “I am Kyle Fates, heir to the Fates family.” He said before standing up and smiling with just one side of his face.

When she started to move again, he slipped his hand out for her, even if she didn’t take it, it would still be there for her. No matter what she needed, she would now get it. Or at least he’d try as hard as he could to get it done. Realizing he was staring at her a little to much and a little weirdly he blushed and glanced away seeing her hand finally moving it’s way slowly towards his. When she spoke he looked back and smiled. “You don’t need to lie to me. I’m sure this could have gone very differently.” He paused as if he was thinking about what he had just said before parting his lips to speak again. “I mean us meeting and all, I’m pretty sure the stunt I just pulled would have happened that way no matter what I did.” He finished as her hand grasped around his and he held her’s. He noticed her skin was colder than his as he pulled her up to her feet. It he got her to her feet before letting go and almost stumbling backwards. Once he steadied himself again he reached his hand to starch the back of his head. “Sorry, gravity isn’t seeming to be my friend just yet.” He finished before glancing off to the side were she had almost jumped off to her death. He ummed softly to himself before peeking back to her, pieces of his wild blonde hair falling into his eyes a little.

“Ah, so, umm. Don’t freak out, but I really hadn’t planned anything after you know making sure you lived. I’m playing it by ear.” He said before remembering the tumble the two had taken, he let his eyes scan over her for a moment, to him it seem perfectly normal to anyone else it could appear he was checking her out. Once he was done she sighed. “We should get you patched up. I’m really sorry about hurting you.” His voice had gotten softer guilt filling him to the core.

[Aalakrys]

As the angel had introduced himself with a goofy little bow, Clarissa couldn't help but think he must be young for a higher being. As a girl, she'd pictured angels as graceful and confident, and Kyle so far had seemed as if he had not quite got there yet. Those were quick thoughts which passed through her mind as she shifted to move before taking his hand. She'd never actually believed in angels, but here was one right in front of her - indirectly and unintentionally mocking her with his existence.

Just as she was standing and brushing herself off since her cotton leggings tended to clench at any form of dirt it could, she considered the rest of his words - finding a bit of irratation in them but was successful in her attempt to keep it from showing on her face as she by reflecting on the curiousity of his hand being so warm. Instead of commenting on the idea that things certainly would have been different if he'd not appeared, she just looked up at his seemingly innocent face as he thought to himself a moment.

That is when he was scanning over her body, and her instinctive nature cased her to place a hand on her hip and a scowl on her face just before he said something about addressing her wounds, causing her face to relax in somewhat relief as she looked down at her knee. Brushing it lightly, she considered her first aid kit at her apartment, but wasn't sure she wanted to go back there with a regular guest, let alone an angel. It probably wasn't supposed to be habitable, but the owner leased it out anyway.

Instead, she blinked at the realization of his final words and looked up at him, angry tears forming in her eyes again as she looked back up at him and almost shouted. "You ... you didn't think this through before you pummled me to the roof and scabbed up my elbows and knee? This is the least of my worries," She gestured to her wounds, "which could have been avoided and my entire life erased in the process if you'd just left me alone."

Her voice fell as the finished, casting her eyes down as she gripped at her upper arm with a scraped up hand. Releasing a sigh after just a moment, she muttered, "I had no plans past ten minutes ago, obviously ... but I don't want this to get infected since I'm being forced to stick around. I can't afford a hospital bill."

With her last words, she began to head towards the door she'd entered the roof from just moments earlier. Auto-pilot set her on the course towards her apartment as numbness settled in almost instantly. She didn't spare a glance back as she released her arm to reach for the door handle which led to the stairwell off the roof.