Mentality behind having hold/control over someone else?

[Gwazi Magnum]

I ended up getting into a mini-debate on a facebook group.

Basically the original picture was this.

Pic

Where I basically asked "Why would you want those pics from a random girl, when you can google professional ones by models online?".
For a bit the only answers I got were those like "It's not the same" and "Just cause". With no actually argument or logical point behind it.

So this got me wondering, what is it about the human mind that get's joy/pleasure over obtaining something that you needed to have influence and control over someone to get? Even if there is a better alternative you can get without using anyone else to get it?

What about people here? Would you simply go after which ever was the best source of what you wanted, or would you go the route where you used others to get it, because something about influencing others brings you pleasure?

[Kadaeux]

Magic Magnum said
I ended up getting into a mini-debate on a facebook group.

Basically the original picture was this.

Where I basically asked "Why would you want those pics from a random girl, when you can google professional ones by models online?".
For a bit the only answers I got were those like "It's not the same" and "Just cause". With no actually argument or logical point behind it.

So this got me wondering, what is it about the human mind that get's joy/pleasure over obtaining something that you needed to have influence and control over someone to get? Even if there is a better alternative you can get without using anyone else to get it?

What about people here? Would you simply go after which ever was the best source of what you wanted, or would you go the route where you used others to get it, because something about influencing others brings you pleasure?

I think it's less a case of pleasure in influencing someone directly and more the old addage about how things are so much sweeter if you worked for them. A "satisfaction" in having earned it versus just used Google 101.

[Gwazi Magnum]

Kadaeux said
I think it's less a case of pleasure in influencing someone directly and more the old addage about how things are so much sweeter if you worked for them. A "satisfaction" in having earned it versus just used Google 101.

It could be the case.
But would you think there's still some element of having used someone else to get it?

Or for other situations unlike the one above do you find some people simply like exercising control over others?

[Kadaeux]

Magic Magnum said
It could be the case.But would you think there's still some element of having used someone else to get it?

Or for other situations unlike the one above do you find some people simply like exercising control over others?

Oh there are definitely people who simply like exercising control over others. I'd even go so far as to say many such people exist. Look at any field where someone is put in a position of power over others, from Company Executives to Military Generals to your wife-beater wearing actual wife-beaters.

It comes down to the "human herd mentality" idea.

Some people are sheeple, others are wolves who fancy being shepherds.

[Gwazi Magnum]

Kadaeux said
Oh there are definitely people who simply like exercising control over others. I'd even go so far as to say many such people exist. Look at any field where someone is put in a position of power over others, from Company Executives to Military Generals to your wife-beater wearing actual wife-beaters.It comes down to the "human herd mentality" idea.Some people are sheeple, others are wolves who fancy being shepherds.

It is definitely something I think more people need to learn to get over/get past if we want to function better as a society.
Normally it's those who seek such power and authority who do bad with it cause they just use it to feel dominant over others.

[mdk]

I imagine a Dexter-like ritual going on behind the scenes. A little wooden box in the air conditioner, full of nude photos.

[Jorick]

I've actually had some conversations with people about this kind of thing, and I've heard some interesting theories that I agree with. For this kind of thing, someone trying to get nudes of someone they know (even if only on the internet or in passing) rather than just going and finding porn, I'd say it's less about control and more about familiarity. Pictures from some professional model or porn star or whatever are so very impersonal, such that they might as well be fictional people as far as you're concerned, because you'll almost certainly never have any interaction with them. There's an appeal to familiarity, to being able to entertain the idea that your dirty little fantasies actually have a shot of coming true, and that can make it more exciting and enticing. It's similar to how being attracted to some celebrity is one thing, almost an academic interest in their looks or personality without much real emotion or passion in it, but having someone in real life that you can actually talk to and interact with that you are attracted to gets the blood pumping and adrenaline flowing.

Related to the familiarity thing, there's also probably some thoughts going on there that if someone is willing to send you racy pictures of them then they're probably attracted to you as well. After all, why would someone give you these intimate pictures if they don't want to get intimate with you? This is kind of naive, and there are plenty of people out there who just don't give a fuck and will send out nudes to curry favor and such, but it's very likely a thought that goes through the mind of someone asking for another person to give them pics of their body.

Another factor is exclusivity. Any chump can hit up Google and find images and videos of whatever porn star they like, but the same likely can't be said of that girl that you're chatting up on Facebook. People like being the only person to have something, or to be one of a select few, and that most certainly applies to this context.

All that said, yeah, there are also plenty of people who like having some kind of control over others. Some people get a thrill out of using others regardless of what it's for, because while it may be kind of ridiculous or take more effort, they'll likely see it as being worth it for that extra pleasure they get out of having control over someone else. I'm just saying that there's more to the example you've given than pure controlling desires.

[Gwazi Magnum]

I should probably clarify.

I wasn't meaning to say "Look at this case, it's obviously about control".
I was using it as a reference for what image had lead me to ask the question in the first place. Then in extension, I noted it as a possibility, but was also asking out of curiosity if people thought there was more to this case specifically, and if people could give any logical reasons for it since the original group wasn't really saying anything outside of "Just because" which I never accept as a legit reason.

I like the answers that's been coming here though, and they probably are what goes on in a lot of people's heads.
In extension, I guess the "It's only me" thing is also part of why Monogamous relationships appeal to so many people and got started in the first place among us, even though we are a polygamous species if we simply followed our hormones.

[Brovo]

I wouldn't say it's control at all so much as it's a dominance play. There's a certain thrill to hunting that which cannot be had, to "win" is bred into the mind. Everything is better when you win it. Everything. Including sexual gratification.

There's also the fact that people you talk to are people you have a shot at with, even if it's miniscule. That celebrity on the Internet isn't coming to your house anytime soon, and fantasy can only fill in so much for the real thing.

[The Nexerus]

Brovo said
I wouldn't say it's control at all so much as it is dominance

That doesn't make any sense. Dominance is control.

[Kadaeux]

The Nexerus said
That doesn't make any sense. Dominance control.

Incorrect.

While control IS dominance. Dominance is not control.

If I puppetted someones actions through Sims God Edition, i'd be controlling them. Dominating them.

But if my team dominates the opposition during the finals they're not controlling them, they're just beating them thoroughly.

[The Nexerus]

Kadaeux said
But if my team dominates the opposition during the finals they're not controlling them, they're just beating them thoroughly.

To dominate is not to 'beat thoroughly'. That's an informal, incorrect use of the word.

[Kadaeux]

The Nexerus said
To dominate is not to 'beat thoroughly'. That's an informal, incorrect use of the word.

I now require you to remove that signature of yours, turn in your Grammar Nazi card and prepare for the tar and feathering of shame as your lack of ability and understanding of the English Language is never more obvious than this moment.

dom·i·nate [dom-uh-neyt] Show IPA
verb (used with object), dom·i·nat·ed, dom·i·nat·ing.
1.
to rule over; govern; control.
2.
to tower above; overlook; overshadow: A tall pine dominated the landscape.
3.
to predominate, permeate, or characterize.
4.
Mathematics . (of a series, vector, etc.) to have terms or components greater in absolute value than the corresponding terms or components of a given series, vector, etc.
5.
Linguistics . (of a node in a tree diagram) to be connected with (a subordinate node) either directly by a single downward branch or indirectly by a sequence of downward branches.

verb (used without object), dom·i·nat·ed, dom·i·nat·ing.
6.
to rule; exercise control; predominate.
7.
to occupy a commanding or elevated position.

And then we ALSO have points 3, 4 and 5 neither of which mean 'Control'

A team "thoroughly beating" an opposing team is to "tower above" and "overshadow" their opposition. Ergo. Dominating is neither incorrect nor informal. So GTF off your high horse and learn English properly next time.

Now I point out that point 3 and 6 ALSO apply to the analogy through the word "predominate"

pre·dom·i·nate [pri-dom-uh-neyt] Show IPA
verb (used without object), pre·dom·i·nat·ed, pre·dom·i·nat·ing.
1.
to be the stronger or leading element or force.
2.
to have numerical superiority or advantage: The radicals predominate in the new legislature.
3.
to surpass others in authority or influence; be preeminent: He predominated in the political scene.
4.
to have or exert controlling power (often followed by over ): Good sense predominated over the impulse to fight.
5.
to appear more noticeable or imposing than something else: Blues and greens predominated in the painting.
verb (used with object), pre·dom·i·nat·ed, pre·dom·i·nat·ing.
6.
to dominate or prevail over.

The example I provided fulfilling the very first, fifth AND sixth definitions.

The lesson here Nex, English is a Complex Language. Before you try telling other people what it means, make sure you actually do know what it means.

[The Nexerus]

stuff Actually, let's just stop this right here. We're arguing about something petty that isn't entirely related to the thread's topic in the first place. If you really want to continue, reply to the PM I sent you.