Hi, I'm KnightShade as you may have guessed. When I signed up to the new site I probably wasn't as drunk as I'd have myself believe, I think I just changed my name because to sabotage myself a bit here to make me take the action I was probably planning then. I'm not sure how many of you know me, I've been around for atleast a year so I find that a little sad, but I've forgiven myself that as I know I did the best I could with my social anxiety disorder as bad as it's been. I've had it for 15 years so far as I can tell, which is 3/4 of my life now, my first memory is of pretending to be asleep to avoid talking to other kids is how I know. Last year was my first year at university, I'd always thought in a new place I could change who I was and it really didn't work out. This year I'm resitting and things are going well: I've had three CBT sessions which were very useful, then a two day course based around a self help book, I get along with my flatmates I'm living with next year, I've joined societies which I couldn't do last year, lots of other things too. So, yeah, I always find this bit somewhat patronizing, perhaps as it resonates with me, but this place has become something of a crutch for me but it's also holding me back I think. I really want to take the risk of living life without this to fall back on or use as an excuse.
This place has in some ways helped me grow as a person: in taking insults, my sense of humor, and my tastes. I still might do some RPing eventually, but I'm on another forum for that. There are some people I might like to keep in touch with, I did just type that I'd let them message me but that's falling back into old patterns really. Tripz, Nat, Sera, Drakel: I've enjoyed talking with all of you at times and if any of you'd like to stay in touch message me, it's perfectly fine if you don't want to. I'll be around two more days I think. Goodbye everyone and good luck in your lives.
This place has in some ways helped me grow as a person: in taking insults, my sense of humor, and my tastes. I still might do some RPing eventually, but I'm on another forum for that. There are some people I might like to keep in touch with, I did just type that I'd let them message me but that's falling back into old patterns really. Tripz, Nat, Sera, Drakel: I've enjoyed talking with all of you at times and if any of you'd like to stay in touch message me, it's perfectly fine if you don't want to. I'll be around two more days I think. Goodbye everyone and good luck in your lives.
