[IC] Of Goats, Goblins, and Mages

[Goat God]

A cold breeze blows though the town of Dry Hook. A young Spell-Born boy, his eyes slightly glowing blue, sporting a ripped, small top hat and overalls that were too big for him, walks down a path with no shoes on. Under his arm, he was holding 6 posters, and in his hand a bucket of glue. He stopped in front of a wall, which said TODAY’S NEWS. The boy set down his things and grabbed a ladder that was always behind the Wall. He put up the ladder and glued the poster to the wall. He stepped down. Before leaving for the next one, he looked at the poster, trying to read it. He never learned to read, but he knew a few words. Gob... Goblin. His mother always told him to stay away from that word, but he read on. Goblin kin… kind? No that was a G. King. Goblin King… miss... Man... oh well. Probably stupid anyway, because goblins are as well.

X X X

Zeal loved flying. He was only just flying low, but it was still fun. Just Him and His Goat Operated Arial Transport, or G.O.A.T, for short. He was looking for work. Being a Traveling inventor, things like this just happen like clockwork. He noticed Dry Hook, a Spell-Born town full of mercenaries, thieves and people just looking for work. He parked his ride near a pond, and shut it down. He put a shield prototype around the Ship, so no one would steal it. He entered the town. After a long while of walking, he found the bar, the RoboTraveler. He entered, and sat down, ordering a shot of Ale. The Bartender was a robot, who gave himself 6 extra arms to help serve customers. Zeal looked around, making sure no one was going to stab him, and take his keys.

[Brasslazer]

Theodore was getting a bit sore from all the horse riding. Sure, magical horses made out of a jumble of rocks didn't get tired or need feeding, but man, were they uncomfortable. Looking off in the distance, Theodore say a sight that almost made him jump off his rock horse and run the rest of the way there. On the horizon, he say a little town, with a sign near the entrance, a bit too far to see. Finally! As he got closer, the words on the sign were revealed to be the name off the town

Dry Hook, huh? Theodore thought, still bumping up and down on his stony steed, From the stories I've heard, Dry Hook sucks, but hey, if I can get a drink there than it's okay with me.

As he got into town, Theodore got off his horse, which then crumbled into dust, and headed into the nearest bar, called the RoboTraveler, and took the seat next to some ancient goat wearing pilot's goggles.

[Astarael42]

With a deep groan Percival opened his eyes and blearily tried to focus on something, anything. When he finally did he quickly shut his eyes again. That had to be the ugliest person he had ever seen. Small piggy eyes were set deep in a narrow piggy head. An ugly pink schnozz was stuck almost in his face and the breath that emitted from the mouth was enough to make any sane person retch.

“Squeeeeee oink oink grunt” said the face and it took Percival a moment to realize it was a pig that was sharing his bed. The horror of that fact so overwhelmed what little focus he had that it took him nearly five more minutes to realize he wasn’t in HIS bed. Or any bed. He was passed out in a pile of hay in a pig sty.

Groaning Percival shoved the pig out of the way. He was rewarded with some angry grunts but the pig wandered off and the small goblin stood up. That was some crappy ass beer, make him fall asleep with the pigs. Dumb ass things. He shook his head, trying to dislodge the hay that had been wedged in his long tapered ears. Grumbling and stomping around the pig pen he looked for his ale mug. He found it stuffed under the trough and grabbed it like it was a prized gem instead of a the battered tin mug it was.

Still not sure what exactly was going on, why he was here, where here was, or anything else Percival secured his most valued possession back on his belt and headed out of the covered pig sty to a bright day which nearly knocked him on his ass. Too damn bright. He squinted his eyes and wished the sun would go away, it gave him a headache. Or the beer did. Man that was some crappy beer. He needed to find better quick. He needed it to clear his head if nothing else.

He thought he saw a sign for a bar and shuffled forward, each step clearing his head of the alcohol induced fog. He walked in the front door and soon found himself flying back out it. Literally flying. Zooming along on a current of air. Damn spell born bouncer. Using air to fling him about as if he was a daisy. Why? Had he been here before? He didn’t remember it if he had. That of course was not an uncommon occurrence. He rarely remembered where he was, what he was doing, why he was there, or anything else he didn’t deem important.

Still he needed beer and it was obvious the front door was not the way to do it. So around to the back, through an unguarded window was the next step. No one saw him despite the fact he got stuck halfway through the window, unable to reach the ground on either side. He had to wiggle like worm on a hook till he dropped to the inside floor with a thud.

Not a good day. Must be the fault of that crappy beer he had had earlier. Slipping unnoticed into the main room he helped himself to a mug of beer he spied sitting somewhat unguarded at the bar. Dumping the contents into his own tin beer mug he took a grateful swig. Proper beer at last. With a deep sigh he plopped to the floor, somewhat out of the way, and proceeded to down the contents of his mug. He would need to steal another in short order but now that his head had cleared up somewhat he wanted to see where he was and who was here with him. More importantly who had something shiny he might find interesting to examine.

He spotted the ancient goat with the pilots goggles right way. The goggles were shiny. And they probably meant the goat had other shiny things. He scrambled up on the bench shoving his way next to the ancient goat.

“Hiya” said Percival in his most professional and polite manners addressing the creature. For a goblin that wasn’t saying much but it was a step up from the usual riffraff. “I’ve never seen eyes like yours. Where did you get em?”

[KatherinWinter]

One of Katherin's favorite activities was exploring. Which is why she spent most of her time traveling from place to place. She liked getting to seen new places and try new things. Katherin also liked getting to know new people but she was shy so it was harder for her to meet new people then it was to find new places. She generally traveled on foot. This allowed her to decide the speed at which she traveled as well as when and where she wanted to rest. Katherin saw a town in the distance. She was eager to explore it and see what it had to offer.

[Goat God]

"I was born with these eyes, and for you're information, I'm a guy. If you're talking about my goggles, which we air-goats like to call them, they're not for sale. you're welcome to join me, i feel generous. I'm looking for work myself, but i'll help a guy out. Waiter?" Zeal said looking at the Robot. "YEssss Yes? Sir? may? I? Get? You? A? Drink?" the robot said Very poorly. Code errors probably. "I would like to buy this Goblin a drink. What's you strongest drink?" he said with a smart look in his eyes. "Our strongest... strongest... strongest drink is... is... Dragon Ale. Would you like to know more about it Sir Goat?" the Robot said. "No Thanks. I prefer that my goblin friend here gets a Surprise." The Robot turned and grabbed a Bottle with a dragons head for a top. He poured it into a glass and handed it to the Goblin. "That will be 20." the robot said, surprisingly... normal. "Here." Zeal lifted a bag of money out of the pocket of his jacket. "How much was that?" Zeal asked. "20." "Code 179d20" he said looking straight into the Robot's eyes. "Code accepted. Please feel free to ask for anything more, anything you ask for will be given on the house." the Robot said. "Thats the only code I know, it makes a robot give you anything it has. It's helped. Enjoy your Drink... I never got your name."

[Gaylord DeFlorez]

Seeing the goblin walk out of the back room made Furor curious. he started computing the probability that what was going on was legal. after 3 seconds and 3 million probability's factored he determined that it was a 7,342,581,938 to 1 against the goblin. With this calculation, he started up and got another drink from the bartender and looked at the goat. "hello sir goat, i am U6840-P793-G15.You may call me Furor, have you heard anything of the goblin King's disappearance?" he asked as he paid the barkeep 1.75.

[Goat God]

Suddenly the Whole bar was silent. "The Goblin King? Missing? Don't you know that this place is full of Goblins Furor!" He pushes Furor with his hoof. "you could start a riot here! your primary function is to KEEP the peace, not make chaos." Zeal looks over at the Spell-Born, wearing full armor. "Help a goat out? Lets get out of here before..." Suddenly, One goblin, who is very buff stands up and says "What did you say Clanker? My King is Missing? You Probably did it! Get Him Fellow goblins! You! at the bar! hit him or... something!" The goblin flipped a table as the whole bar uproars in a massive fight, people hitting one each other. " Crap! Get out!"

[Brasslazer]

Theodore's eyes shown brighter than before. A fight! Just what he needed to stretch out his muscles after the long and boring horse ride into town.

"If I beat up all of these goblins and help you get out of here safely, Mr. Goat or whatever your name is, will you buy me a drink?"

[Razbat]

Drax walked briskly through the streets of Dry Hook. He was heading towards his favorite bar, the RoboTraveller, and wanted nothing more than to relax for a while and enjoy a beer. As he entered he saw a goblin talking to a goat. Drax grunted as pushed past the pair. Plopping down on a stool next to at the bar he ordered his usual drink. "A mug of your stongest ale." Drax said as more of a statement than a request. However he had been to this bar many times so it was routine. Nodding his thanks for the drink, Drax slammed back the entire thing, and asked for another.

With a few mugs of liquid courage in him Drax was feeling adventurous. He couldn't help but notice the Spellborn next to him. "Haven't seen you around here before. What brings you to Dry Hook?" Drax wasn't sure if it was the ale talking, but he needed some adventure and this stranger could be his ticket.

Before he could say more he noticed Furor talking to the goat. This could be interesting, Drax thought to himself. He layed down some money to pay for his drinks, and walked over. As soon as he did, the goat kicked the robot directly into Drax knocking him on his back. Chaos ensued in the bar, and Drax stood up ready to fight.

[Goat God]

"Sure! It's Zeal by the way." he pulled out his Steam punk Pistol, standard issue. He shot a few shots, hitting one in the arm. "I hate my Aim." he tried to hit a few more, but the chaos was just to much to focus. He ran behind Furor, trying to focus more. suddenly a piece of... Banana Bread was thrown though the air. "Wait... Banana Bread?" he said before it hit his face. "Umm, not the best." He ran up to a goblin and bucked him, sending him flying into three more.

[Brasslazer]

Theodore smiled.

"Wonderful"

Theodore put his hands to the ground, his eyes and hands glowing a rich orange color, The ground began to shake, causing a couple of the brawling goblins to fall flat on their faces, the shaking growing more and more violent. Then suddenly, a loud crack is heard, accompanied by a shower of splinters, and in Theodore's hands is a large hammer that seems to be made of solid rock, which he then, almost effortlessly, swung, hitting several goblins and sending them towards the wall.

"This is going be real fun!"

[Razbat]

Drax watched in amazement as the goat shot a goblin while eating banana bread. He nodded his approval, and pulled out his lighter. Drax wanted in on whatever the goat was offering, even if he was a goat. A mug of beer flew through the air and splashed into Drax's mouth. This gave him an idea. Drax's eyes lit up red as he ignited the lighter, and spit the beer into the flame. The flamethrower effect rippled through air taking out several goblins.

Panting, and drained from using his power Drax looked to the goat and his allies. "Mind if I join you?"

[Goat God]

"Nope Don't Mind! Cover me while i focus a bit more, I have a pistol, I can't focus with all of this chaos." He pulled out his gun and started to try and shoot. He hit a few people. He was impressed by the level of magic these Spell-Born were packing. If only he could make a machine to copy it. "So, do you two Spells know anything about this Goblin King Disappearance?"

[PoisonLilies]

Baa had been walking for, well Baa did not know, Baa was not given a function to tell time. She had made it to a town. The sign read ‘Dry Hook’ Baa stared at it for a very long time waiting for something to happen. Once nothing did Baa was thinking about what she felt about this town called Dry Hook. “I love you.” Baa said with a frown. She started walking in towards the town. Eyes wide taken everything in. Baa made it to small building that had a sign that said RoboTraveler. Loud noise was coming from inside. Baa opened the door walking in. “People are fighting.” She stated the obvious to no one.

[Brasslazer]

"Haven't heard anything about it." Theodore said, absentmindedly bashing a goblin into the floor, "I just happened to come into this town hoping to take a rest, maybe grab a beer or two."

[Gaylord DeFlorez]

"LETHAL FORCE AUTHORIZED." Furor stated in a more maniacal tone than normal. he then deployed his arm shield and released his blade on a poor goblin. "BY THE CODE OF LAWS SET BY THE ORDER OF ONE, YOU ARE ALL SENTENCED TO..." he was stopped by a goblin hitting his face. he then skewered him in his abdomen."That's it."
With that being all the evidence he needed he pulled his blade back and activated his shotgun. firing in the crowd he took out a handful of relentless goblins. "GET OUT!" he shouted at the goat and two spellborn as he started reloading.

[Razbat]

Drax had to shout to be heard over the chaos. "Haven't heard about the goblin king! Maybe something to look into?" He yelled as he drew his heavy sword. He charged the goblin horde swinging in every direction. His blows knocked the goblins into walls and out windows. A small creature opened the door just as Drax sent a goblin flying overhead. They needed to end this and get the goat, and his friends to safety. He breathed deeply as he flicked his lighter again. His eyes glowed blood red as he ignited his sword. He didn't have much power left, but the fight was getting out of control.

[Enso]

Jeffrey walked into the town of Dry Hook, his belt heavy from all of the plants he had gathered along the way. He wasn't sure how useful some would be but most of them were drawn on his scroll so they must have some use. He had been chased out of the last town he visited by a bunch of people with fiery sticks and pointy things, He couldn't remember the name of that town but it didn't matter, he was in Dry Hook now. As he walked through town, his tail lightly slapping the dirt road with each step as he wandered. He saw a tavern there and realized for the first time how hungry he felt. "Time to eat, I think." Jeffrey said to the empty air and made his way into the tavern, not seeming to notice the brawl going on around him. In reality he did notice the brawl, it just reminded him so much of a Kobold tribes' normal behavior that he was able to navigate through it and find a seat at the bar.

"Do you have food?' He said to the robot behind the bar and put a fistful of coins, lint and a mouse skeleton on the bar. "I have this much, what can that get me?" It didn't seem like the robot would respond since it was pretty distracted by the brawl so he stuffed his money back into a pouch on his belt and started petting the dead mouse. It was almost like he didn't realize it was dead. After a short moment there were gunshots and magic and he got more interested so he picked up his mouse and wandered over to a goat firing a pistol and talking to some Spell-Borns. Jeffrey smiled an odd toothy Kobold smile at him. "Hello, I'm Jeffrey and this is Bill," He said, thrusting his hand with the dead mouse toward the Ancient Goat, "Nice to meet you, that's a neat gun."

((Just so you know, Bill isn't permanent, Jeffrey will either lose or eat Bill by the end of the first day.))

[Daemon Est Deus Inversus]

Malfeas stood on the highest branch of a large tree, seeming to defy gravity for his stature and the smallness of the branch. But it was no work of telekinesis which brought him up here. No, it was merely a goat's natural agility and graceful sense of physical balance. And here he stood in meditation, as he had for the last two hours, mind clear and awaiting passer by to pounce upon, horns first.

When a G.O.A.T. went flying overhead instead, he decided it might be a good idea to follow it's course. So he set off in it's general direction and followed the road to find it parked. Pressing on further, he entered the town of Dry Hook, and seeing that posters were being put up, he decided to investigate. Apparently the Goblin King was missing.

"Hmph. I wonder if he simply forgot he was King..." Malfeas said aloud to no one in particular. Foolish folk, the goblins. And it was often difficult to have any sympathy for fools.

[Astarael42]

Everything erupted far to fast for Percival’s liking. He was going to tell the goat he wanted to go with him…the goat would have many shiny things he was certain…however suddenly and without warning chaos descended on the whole room.

“Get him goblins” a cry echoed through the tavern. Percival didn’t see the shouter but he didn’t care. “Get Him” was not a thing he particularly enjoyed. That command never ended well. Instead he grabbed his full mug of ale and raced towards the back door.

“Thankyouverymuchbuticantstaygethimnotagoodthingneverendswellandgoodluckmistergoat.” He shouted his response at lightning speed over his shoulder as he ran. Goggles. Good to know. If he remembered he would find a pair for himself. They made your eyes shiny. The girls would love his eyes shiny. He briefly got distracted by the thought of hordes of goblin females fawning on him and his shiny new eyes. So much so that “oof” was the next thing he said. This was because there was a robot in his way, but Percival was so busy looking over his shoulder and dreaming about goblin orgies that he slammed full speed into the automoton.

“God save the King” was all he had time to mutter before blackness overwhelmed him. He wasn’t out long, just a bare minute, but when he came to he couldn’t figure out what was going on. Noise was all he heard. Lots and lots of noise.

Right. Fight. That was what was going on. A fight. Get him Goblins. Nope. Need to run.

Those thoughts raced through his head and he stood up quickly. A goblin was standing just in front of him looking dazed and hurling banana bread at people. Odd. Percival cracked him on the head with his mug, grabbed the remainder of the loaf of bread, shoved it into his mouth, and ran out the back door.

Nimble and quick he scrambled up the wall of the tavern and half-skittered half-ran across the roof. It would be safe up here. He would follow the goat and find goggles of his very own.

He wasn’t sure where he had found the match, but suddenly it was in his hand. He eyed it curiously. Matches loved him. For some reason they were always jumping onto him. He’d tried to ask them what they liked about him but never got any answer.

He stared at it and lifted his mug of beer to his lips. A few scant drops was all that fell out. Barely enough to taste. Damnit. Well he was on a tavern after all, he’d just go below and steal some more. He forgot about the fight going on below him and began to scramble back down the front side of the tavern leaving the curious match, lit, on the thatch roof behind him. Forgotten just as the tavern brawl was forgotten.

He dropped nimbly to the ground and opened the front door upon the chaos of a bar room brawl at precisely the same moment the thatching above him caught fire and the smoke began to fill the air.
“Um there’s a fire on the roof” he said as loud as he could to those gathered inside. He spied a full flagon of beer which had miraculously gone untouched in the brawl and grabbed it. “Never mind, I’ll just put it out with this.”