[IC] Who Will Break? ~ PopeAlessandros x Raafling

[PopeAlessandros]

Shaking his head, Kiel stays silent instead of verbally reinforcing that he is, indeed, not “fucking with” the young man. He can tell Zach is thinking hard, and lets the youth think rather than rushing past the issue and possibly hurting him further. He listens close as Zach reveals it's not he himself that may be causing the issue, but past interactions with men of the cloth. He knows many of his brothers under God can be very extreme, and he worries that perhaps Zach has run into the less understanding kind. He keeps his expression kind, and neutral, showing that he's listening, and not judging, willing the youth to keep speaking.

It makes his heart ache to hear Zach speaking of going to hell, especially with such certainty. It takes some will power to keep from comforting the young man right away, assuring him that it's not true. He can feel them on the cusp of what's bothering the teen, and doesn't want to derail his outpouring.

And then the secret falls, and Kiel. . . Shows no reaction. He can feel a bit of relief passing behind his heart, but doesn't respond immediately. He knows that responding too quickly sound insincere, even if he means what he's saying, so instead he just smiles a little wider and sits carefully on the nearest chair, lowing himself so he doesn't loom over the young man. 'So, he is like that. . . Not surprising. I've had a lot of youth like him pass under this roof, but each one is different. I need to figure out, what route is best, for Zach. . .' Letting out a small hum, he tilts his head slightly to the side, showing no signs of rejection.

“Zach. . .” he begins softly. “I do not condemn you, know that. Nor am I disgusted by you. . .” He smiles softly. “You are not the first who's passed through that door with such a past, with such. . . Desires. And I doubt you will be the last. If I were such a judgmental person as to reject youth like you, do you really think I would have the reputation I do?” Shifting to relieve some weight on his ribs once more, he winces as they throb a little. “I have read the words of our lord, and heard the teachings, but. . . But I can not see the loving God I worship condemning people for things they can not help” He smiles a little wider. “I've heard enough from poor children thrown from their homes by cruel parents, for so many years now, to know that if it were not natural, they would renounce such feelings in a hot minute.” Looking towards the wall, behind which lays the church, he lets out a sigh. “Just. . . Don't tell my brothers. Such enlightenment still eludes them.”

His gaze returns to Zach, looking at peace, and not at all repelled by the youth. He is silently delighted that Zach has brought this fact into the open so they can discuss it. Knowing it will help him be a better guide for the youth, and will keep him from being cruel unintentionally.

[Merule]

Zach keeps his posture tense as Kiel talks, keeps his face sceptical. Even so with every kind word the priest utters, he lets a little bit more hope creep into his expression, just a tantalising hint of vulnerability that will hopefully leave the priest wanting more. He is starting to realise that he is going to have to adapt his strategy slightly from his usual approach. Normally he just had to have his marks see him as something they could take, and they would be all to happy to let him have his way with them. It was even easier with the self-righteous hypocrites- most of them were active looking for excuses to take advantage of something or someone they wanted. At first Zach had thought it would be much the same with this priest.

But Kiel is genuinely invested in the well-being of his little wards, even though Zach still thinks there must be some personal reason for his more self-sacrificial tendencies. Right now, Zach is too close, too far within his reach. Where other might feel emboldened by a combination of desire and opportunity, Kiel didn't even seem to make space for anything resembling desire as long as he felt there was even a theoretical opportunity to 'take advantage'. And then there was the whole priestly celibacy complex to contend with. Though if he was willing to look past the common hysteria about homosexuality, Zach was pretty sure he could be convinced to let go of those scruples as well.

But first there would need to be distance. The priest fancies himself a proper mother hen, and as long as Zach is smothered under those metaphorical wings he's going to be stuck with the useless 'little one' label. But before he can take that distance, he had to make sure that Kiel will want to keep engaging with him, and for that dangling the allure of healing his poor injured soul seems as good a bait as any.

"Wow, I guess you really are a giant softie, aren't you?" he says, letting his voice crack a bit in 'genuine emotion' even as he makes sure to keep up the image of a posturing young man.

"It's a miracle they haven't fired you yet for, you know, actually caring about people? Seems to be something they usually hope to avoid," he jokes weakly, rubbing his neck to show embarrassment at the sincerity of the moment.

"But really though... That's... You're very kind. Thank you." There, another hint at something genuine, there if Kiel ever wants to reach out to him.

[PopeAlessandros]

The crack in Zach's voice twangs across Kiel's heart, and he can feel his emotions shifting. Zach has been hard, self sufficient, and strong. Hearing him let his emotions out, even a little bit like this, makes Kiel feel warm and happy. The happiness is tainted a bit as he knows the kind of suffering a boy like Zach may have gone though, especially with members of the church being how they tend to be. However, Kiel knows he can be here now, for Zach, and hopefully make up for the shortsightedness of his bothers under God.

Seeing the boy squirm a bit as he thanks him, Kiel smiles a little wider and stands carefully. Moving over to the youth, he wraps his ward in a gentle hug, petting his hair gently as he pulls Zach close against his chest. He knows he can't be so distant with his approval. Zach has made it clear that standing off, or standing away makes him feel rejected, so Kiel lets himself comfort the young man properly, like a big brother would, and gives him the best squeeze he can manage with his wounded ribs. “Yes, well. . . People take from the bible what they wish, and unfortunately the word from the top is now leaning more towards number than charity unfortunately. . .” He continues to pet Zach's hair softly. “But, we're not all like that. . . I want to help.”

Leaning back a bit and tilting his head to the side so he can look at Zach's face properly he grins a little. “I will always be here to talk to. I promise.” Patting his hair a little longer, Kiel gives Zach one last squeeze before hobbling back to his chair. Giving the young man a teasing half smile he asks, “So, have you ever made tea before?” He wants to give Zach the chance to contribute, and help, seeing as that's what the youth seems to want to do at the moment.

[Merule]

Zach is pleasantly surprised when the priest moves in for a hug, especially when he was so uncomfortable with the touching before. The hair-petting is a little condescending, but he supposes he will take what he can get. He makes sure to stay tense for a few long moments, before eventually relaxing into the hug. He even brings up his arms to return the hug, though he keeps it light for now. It's good that Kiel still wants to help, even though that help seems to come with a heap of infantilization for now. As shown by the slightly teasing question that follows.

"Yeah priest, I know how to make hot leaf juice," Zach rolls his eyes. He knows it won't make him look any older, but he can't be perfect. When he heads to the kitchen area, Sarah appears in the doorway of the spare room, eyes wide and haunted. She makes a beeline for Kiel, burying her face in his shirt without saying a word.

Zach takes the opportunity to busy himself with putting the kettle on. He makes a hot cup of tea for Kiel, and then a smaller one that he cools with milk and a little honey for Sarah. She also gets a cookie to go with it when he brings it to them, but he doesn't stick around while the priest works his calming magic on the girl. He likes using her as a contrast to make the priest see how he is not a 'little one', but that can wait until she feels better.

Instead he sets to taking out some sheets and pillows to make up a bed for himself on the couch. He'd enjoyed the chance to get close to the priest before, and the bet had payed off. It had also made it clear just how much he was not ready to see Zach as an equal. So distance it would be, for now at least. Just until Kiel was in the right frame of mind to actually enjoy the closeness Zach would eventually pursue.

He's still going to slip into his dreams, of course. Just because he's changing his tactics, doesn't mean he can't satisfy his curiosity along the way.

[PopeAlessandros]

Chuckling at the young man's description of tea, Kiel settles more comfortably into the stiff old kitchen chair and just relaxes a little, letting Zach work peacefully on the tea without his nagging behind him. 'I know I coddle and nag a bit, but a lot of the Little Ones need that kind of care. I should work on letting him be a bit more independent. He has my acceptance, but I get the feeling he wants something else from me than someone like, say, Sarah. . .' His thoughts trail off as the girl herself appears and runs into his waiting arms. Kiel shushes her softly, petting her hair and humming softly to soothe her. Her shaking is not something that is going to pass quickly however, and he thanks Zach softly when he provides a little distraction for her.

Helping her settle into a chair beside his own, he offers her the drink and speaks softly about how things will be safe while she's here. How god is looking down on them and making sure his children stand together to keep her safe. He knows a lot of abused kids have a hard time with the abstract of “God” as a being that never actually reaches down to help, like a glowing hand or something, so he tries to remind her that there's an entire building full of men and women that will jump to her aid no matter what tries to assail her. She sniffles softly and sips at her tea, nodding as Kiel talks and slowly, ever so slowly, calming down enough to breath without huge hiccups threatening to spill her drink.

Out of the corner of his eye, as he speaks to her, he notices Zach making the couch up as a bed and for a fleeting instant he worries that he was wrong, and that Zach had been awake the night last. He mentally shakes the thought however, quite sure with Zach strong will, he would have had something to say about it and had more of an issue to deal with than just worry over him thinking less of the boy for his orientations. 'I just hope he's not worried about my reactions to finding out. I mean, it is better for him to have his own space. . . I'm sure DCS will come by soon, after this incident, and try to place Sarah somewhere, and if he's still here, he will be able to have the guest room. . . .' A true worry that Zach might leave before he's ready wells up in Kiel, but as Sarah looks at him with her haunted gaze, he turns all of his focus on to her until after the evening meal when she seems to be feeling a little better, if exhausted.

Once she's tucked in, Kiel once more turns his attention on to Zach. Still in pain, and having only had a brief look over from one of the brothers when he went to fetch the evening meal, he recruits Zach's help to clean up. He winds up letting the young man do most of it as his side has gotten rather stiff and forces him to move much more slowly now. He silently laughs a bit as his own hobble as he walks, letting himself favor the side now that Sarah's asleep, and double checks Zach's outfitting of the couch while the youth himself is finishing the last of the dishes.

As soon as he's satisfied, he asks for a little help getting on his nightgown, having Zach wait outside the room until he'd at least gotten on his sleeping pants before calling him in for assistance. He makes sure to show no sign of bother at the proximity and his own lack of decent dress, and smiles in thanks as he shoos Zach off to bed. Saying his prayers, Kiel waits to hear his ward settle in the next room before laying down himself, and despite the pain, he manages to find a comfortable position and drift off to sleep.

~The windy landscape or a wheat field embraces Kiel as he walks slowly among the waving grains. The whiskered tops tickle his elbows as he wanders aimlessly. The field is out of place, surrounded on all sides by forest, no civilization in view. A deep feeling of memory cuts through him, but he turns away from it, instead wandering in a new direction every time it hits him. The air is fresh, and the sky filled with drifting rainbow clouds and dandelion puffs the size of dump trucks. Despite the clear borders, the trees never seem to get closer, and he wanders on and on, enjoying the peace between the moments that force him to change directions.~

[Merule]

At least the upshot of the priest getting wounded, is that he finally allows Zach to take care of him a little. For someone who prides himself on being all mild and modest, he can also be spectacularly stubborn. It's probably one of the reasons that he's actually successful with the difficult cases he works with, but Zach doesn't care about that. He'll just have to keep in mind that the victory will be all the sweeter in the end. For now, though, he plays the part of helpful human youth. He can feel how the priest carefully avoids showing any of his earlier discomfort at his undressed state. It's still a far cry from the reaction he would prefer, but he'll take it over the blushing maiden act from before. At least he knows the man won't try to aggravate his wounds in an attempt to dress himself, lest Zach will think that he rejects him for his supposed sexuality. Small victories, he supposes.

~It's a relief to enter the dreamscape. In spite of everything, this still feels natural to him. The physical world always feels heavy and unmoving compared do the shifts and twists of the fabric of dreams. Zach doesn't reveal himself to Kiel just yet, and takes a few moments to just let the dream settle around him. He lets it flow past him for a small indulgent moment, the wind twirling and grain rustling as he weaves himself into the dream as if he belongs there. In a certain sense, he supposes he does.

Once he looks for it, it's immediately clear that Kiel is the centre of the field, the trees at the edge disappearing and reforming as he moves through the projected landscape. There's a sense of peace in the air, but Zack can feel it tense and stretch at moments, the dream vibrating on the cusp of something darker before being pulled back into the light by Kiel's will alone. There's something there, and Zach knows that he should be digging into it, should be pushing the atmosphere to that point of avoidance until Kiel can't help but be dragged into it. He want's to do it to, is prepared to do it.

It's just....

The priest's had a rough day to begin with. While he would usually welcome that and poke at the sore points that stress made easier to reach, this time it just didn't seem the best option. He wanted the priest to be comfortable with him, didn't he? And he did just attempt a personal revelation in the physical world. He doesn't want the priest to associate that sort of thing with nightmares or bad memories. Yeah, that makes sense. He'll save the poking around for another time then.

Mind made up, he starts adjusting the dream to move away from this particular scene. The shadowy trees on the edge out slowly disappear, and the grain gradually shifts into a simple grassy field. In the distance he plants the image of a single tree, similar to the one they sat beneath in other dreams. A little peaceful sanctuary.~

[iFain]

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