~I can hear him.
He is close.
The stars come to life overhead and Seishu ducks lower into the grass. His heart races gently, the nature of the world around him keeping him from panicking. He lets out a soft sigh, the world becoming more and more pleasant. The soft breeze, the low light, all of it reminding him of all the reasons he wants the man on the hill.
I can see you up there.
The wind in your hair.
The light making your skin glow.
The nervous look in Enasi's eyes reminds him once more of what the man had been murmuring in the pool. That set of words that could have ended in only one way, but Seishu can not let himself hear them. As Enasi descends the hill Seishu slinks back into the grass, moving steadily away from the other guardian as he draws closer to where Seishu had been hiding. As his name leaves the bright soft lips Seishu bites his own, a thick swallow gulping down his urge to respond.
Forgive me.
I can not. . .~
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
Enasi continued his search. But with each step, he seemed to move slower, contemplating if he should do it or not. The anticipation built in him and he pulled at his collar.
I don't think I should...
He's been gone for too long. Why is he hiding?
Does he not want to be seen?
Did I do something wrong?
Enasi gave a saddened look as he looked around, not being able to find him. "Seishu?" He looked around and then caught a glimpse of white hair gently moving. He could almost catch those eyes staring at him. He narrowed his eyes and with a tilt of his head he called Seishu again.
"Seishu?"
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
~His stomach drops, he can feel the other's disappointment. He can feel those eyes seeking him out, the longing to find him. He ducks back, a pain inside telling him to just stand up and face him. Even if Enasi says those words, Seishu is strong, he can turn them down. . .He's sure of it.
Just go.
Enjoy this place.
Make it your own.
He watches as Enasi's eyes narrow. He was spotted. He rushes away, no longer staring at the other male. A tree springs into being, an umbrella tree like on the African savanna, but richer and thicker. Without hesitation he leaps up into it's lower branches even as I grows higher and higher. He knows Enasi saw him most likely, but he feels safer here. He feels more at home high above the ground. At home, in his room, even his bed is high off the ground.
He settles into the branches, his breathing slowing with ever exhale and as he falls silent he waits. He breaths. . . . and waits.~
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
Enasi watched as Seishu darted off. He reached out, knowing he was too far away to grab him. It wasn't hard to guess why he was doing this. The guardian could easily put two and two together.
He's avoiding me. . .
He doesn't want to talk to me. . .
A deep blush fell on his cheeks and then he sat in the grass. "That means... he knows. Was I really that obvious?" His eyes widen, but then he covered his eyes.
He knows, and it's obvious of his answer.
Thankfully, Their World subdued strong emotions. But Enasi knew that it would probably hit hard when he woke up. "Sorry..." His voice echoed in the silence and he quickly turned away to walk to a spot on a hill. He wasn't going to force Seishu to do anything- it wasn't like he could.
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
~His body shifts ever so slightly as he turns to look towards his counterpart. Even at the distance between them Seishu spots the flush and his heart drops to his stomach.
I can't.
I have to at least let him speak his mind.
I can not deny him that right.
He almost laughs at himself, recalling when last he had a thought like that. He bites his lip hard as that one word finds it's way to his ears. He truly has grown weak. He can not refuse the other male, he can not see him in pain like this. Shoring up his resolve his wings shimmer into being and he takes off from the tree. Circling once so that Enasi can see him Seishu circles around behind the red head and comes to rest a handful of paces away. His heart still races but he forces his face to remain calm as he waits.
“Sorry for running. I just wanted you to enjoy the world in your own way. I wanted to see. . .What your soul desires. . .Here. . . .In our world. . .”
He swallows, sighing softly as he realizes he's said something unnecessary. But he does not step away. He will let Enasi speak his mind, even if it means destroying the Nightmare Guardian’s heart.~
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
Enasi walked off and sat down. He curled up and hugged his knees. Quietly, he watched the sky as a shooting star went by. This made him sit up in a slight awe, watching as more of those shooting stars appeared. When he caught sight of Seishu, they stopped and it seemed the sun started to set more. His head once again lowered as he looked out at the view.
He didn't answer Seishu when he spoke. Only a small sigh escaped his lips.
I want to wake up now.
I don't want to do it anymore.
. . . I tried.
He looked up at Seishu and gave a gentle smile. "It's okay. . . I understand." His smile saddened a little, but he quickly turned away. "You can... You can go back. I understand." Enasi sighed and looked away from the guardian. After a moment he spoke again. "I debated if I should have said anything. . . It was only for closure... Nothing more. But," He shook his head and sighed, not finishing his sentence.
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
~Seishu can feel a little touch of anger seeping in as the man before him refuses to speak his mind.
Here I am, opening the door for you.
I am doing everything short of telling you what you feel.
Despite the world keeping emotions relatively mild Seishu can tell just how depressed Enasi is, and Seishu gets even more angry at something completely different. With a harsh growl he stalks forward. Reaching down he grab's his counterpart by his upper arm and yanks him to his feet. Spinning him around he pulls Enasi hard against him, must of the usual tenderness he normally shows the other absent in the wake of his anger. Without hesitation he pulls Enasi's head forward and slips his lips across his counterpart's and as soon as he has the chance he deepens the kiss.
Despite it's roughness, it is not cruel. He doesn't press hard enough for the actions to hurt but his anger is still obvious in his eyes when at last he pulls back. His growl is deep, vibrating through his chest and into the other man. With a soft voice he hisses, “Stop presuming my heart for your own peace of mind. You have no right to make my mind up for me, Dream Guardian.” With that being said he steps away, releasing the smaller male as he turns to leave. His wings snap out to the sides as he prepares to do as bidden and leave Enasi to his self pitying. The pain inside him is great, but is restrained by his anger.
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
[I] Enasi all of a sudden was whirled to his feet. "What are you-!" He spoke defensively, but was stopped by the sudden forceful kiss. He could have melted then and there, but the world prevented such strong feelings. He wanted to lean in and return the kiss, but it was over almost before it began. Before he could make sense of it, Seishu had pulled away.
He could feel the anger off him, and it only showed more when he was hissed at. Their World wasn't in balance anymore. They were both angry and upset. But that wasn't what their world was for. It was for peace and harmony amongst the two.
"I wouldn't have to do so. If you were able to make up your mind and stop- stop confusing me, I wouldn't have to. I can't believe I actually fell in love-"
His voice caught in his throat and he quickly turned away. Enasi tugged his hair and turned away. "Why do I even bother..."
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
~High over head shooting stars begin to fall once more. They streak across the sky, their usual trails of blue white light blasting red as they fall to the ground well over a mile away. Seishu can feel his emotions tied into each and every one, the strikes the beating of his own heart. The heat Enasi's presence so near behind him. Then the hammer falls, that word falls from Enasi's lips. The stars continue to fall but now they crackle with a new energy, their tails once more blue. However as they fall closer and closer to the two Seishu once more feels the tears building behind his eyes.
He turns back around slowly, his eyes trailing up the other's body from bottom to top.
I can't leave it like this.
Moving forward slowly, his anger gone at the catch in the other's throat, he stalks as silent as a large cat on the prowl. Without warning he wraps one arm around Enasi's waist and pulls him flush against his inflamed body.
“Don't pull away.”
He knows that more than likely his passion, currently pressed firmly against Enasi's lower back, is probably more than Enasi can handle right now, but he feels he must make the peace, even if it is against his nature, and against Enasi's wishes.
“I have never been dishonest in this with you, but my ways, the ways of those who live on only the darkest parts of human souls, you can not expect them to be the same as yours. What I feel, and how I feel it, despite our common roots, has been so far removed from anything you can even begin to understand by the endless flow of cruelty and depravity, that I do not expect you to understand what I feel.”
His head comes down to rest against the back of the shorter male's. He lets out a sigh, tickling the back of the red head's neck.
“I am not mad about what you feel, I am angry that you assume my feelings without letting me express them. Though in this case I can do little to settle your mind as I have resolved that doing so would upset the balance beyond repair.”
His body trembles slightly, tears once again find their way out of him. He lets out a shuddering breath, his lips sliding down the exposed neck in front of him only to terminate in a kiss at the base. All around the stars have stopped falling, Seishu can feel his emotions stabilizing, and he can only pray that his words will have helped Enasi even if only a little bit.
“If I come close to you, here, in this world all our own, my body will crave you as it does now. I do not want you to suffer a moment in the nothing that you do not have to, so while I am here, I will keep coming to you so that we can share the beauty our souls create, but if being around me, feeling the way that you do upsets you, I will stay away from you. I can live with the pain, but I do not want you to have to.”~
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
Once more, unexpected reactions took place. He thought about pulling away, despite his wishes, but only sighed and stayed still. When he sighed, an immediate rednes covered his cheeks as he felt something pressed against his back. He shivered, but focused on Seishu as he spoke.
I just... I just want to wake up.
Even this world is breaking because of this. . .
I don't know what to do anymore, and I- I just want, I don't know!
He was confused and hurt and even though Seishu tried to console him, it still didn't help. He could feel Seishu shaking, only assuming that he was crying as well. Enasi could feel his own heart shattering. . . But, he didn't cry. The guardian refused to cry. His fists balled and he shook his head, as if trying to shake the thoughts away.
He pulled away and looked at Seishu. "I- I'm sorry..." He held his hands to his chest and looked down. "You don't upset me. . . But, neither of us should be hurt like this. I shouldn't have said anything. Somethings are better left unsaid. . ."
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
~Seishu can not help but roll his eyes playfully as once more Enasi begins bottling himself up.
Yeah, not putting up with that any more.
Stepping back up to the smaller male he once more pulls him in close, using both arms this time.
If he's being honest, then I can live with this.
Once more he takes up Enasi's lips with his own, this time paying attention to the other male and kissing him as long as he wants to be kissed before pulling back and sighing softly.
“I'm going to take you at your word that I'm not upsetting you. If it's true, then I'm going to do whatever it takes for you to open up, here, in our special place, and stop holding things in like this.”
His hands smooth over the tense parts of Enasi's body, more comforting than sexual.
“I am here as your balance, and by all things above and below, I'm not letting you do this to yourself here. The only people who would worry about these things you try so hard to hide aren't here. You don't have to protect me, you don't have to hide things from me, and if you're not going to flee from me, then by gog, I'm going to take advantage of that fact.”
His smile is a little devious, his body still reacting to the other's closeness, more so now that his anger has left and Enasi seems to need the closeness as much as he does. His tears have dried and the magic of the world erases all sign of them. His pale skin begins to glow as the moon rises, the sun long set. His long locks fan out in the breeze and with a little shift of his will the breeze changes direction. The light gust pulls his hair forward to cascade over the two's bodies gently as once more Seishu leans in for a gentle kiss. Before their lips can touch however he whispers softly, his breath tumbling over the other male's lips.
“Let this place work it's magic. Let it cleanse it all from you, and anything it can't, let me do that. . .Let me draw it all away and lock it somewhere it can't hurt you. . .”
Finally he sinks into the kiss, his hand brushing low over Enasi's back where he knows he likes it. His other hand comes up and begins stroking through the burgundy locks as his own continues to embrace the couple in it's silvery tresses.~
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
To be pushing me away, he keeps coming back.
How am I suppose to accept his decision if he keeps coming back?
Enasi started to pull away, even as he was kissed. Seishu was only making things worse for them both. "I do only do what's necessary." He started and ended up staying Seishu's grasp. He sighed and stopped trying to fight it, stopped trying to ignore his own feelings.
"I-" His cheeks puffed, seeing no way around the truth. He didn't want to believe it, but he knew that he bottled up everything. It was his nature to, and it seemed necessary. . . But what would happen if he decided not to? He didn't want to risk such a thing and end up hurting someone close.
But Seishu was convincing in a sense. He knew that sensation of powerful and yet subdued emotion as it tingled through his body. Enasi watched how Seishu's hair flowed with the wind as their bodies pressed together. His breathing slowed and his heart beat steadied. His emotions died down to its normal level in Their World. Seishu whispers soft words and the guardian didn't know whether to cry or have some sort of happiness.
His words were soothing and made the guardian relax into the embrace. The entire scene of it calms the dream guardian's thoughts and muscles. And in the kiss, he held on tighter to prevent himself from falling only to do something he swore he never thought he'd do. In the midst of the kiss. . . He purred. It was a shock to him, making him pause and pull away to focus on refraining from blushing as much as he could have.
~*~*~*~***~*~*~*~
~Seishu feels the tingle of the purr against his lips and as to strain mightily and silently not to snap out a fun tease as Enasi pulls back.
One down.
One to go.
He is SO going to hear about this after we wake up!
He settles for responding to the purr with one of his own. Enasi's arms around him, holding him close, strokes at his heated soul in a way he's positive the other guardian has no idea he's doing. So after one more deep but sweet kiss he pulls back and lets go with a laugh. His wings tremble in the breeze as it picks up and with a soft but definitely audible sigh he lets the breeze take him, pulling him past Enasi and into the sky.
There he tumbles and rolls, his smile never leaving his lips even as deep down inside he knows the pain of being so close to Enasi is going to hurt terribly when he wakes. However, for now, he ignores that. Every time he falls close enough to the other guardian he reaches out to touch him gently. A brush against the back, as stroke along the cheek, he even manages a few kisses while never letting his feet touch the ground.
The stars above twinkle merrily, the moon shinning bright enough that Seishu looks almost like a shooting star himself as his hair streams along his back during his dives and tumbles. Slowly he comes to hover in front of Enasi and he smiles warmly, holding a hand out to the other. “Come on love, you know how to do it. If you need to start off up high, I can take you.” He chuckles lightly, raising an eyebrow showing he won't take no for an answer.~