[IC] Walking the tightrope (AgniSpirit/MST3K 4ever)

[MST3K 4ever]

It was just after midnight as Kevin Mach and Roy Briscoe deplaned at Raleigh International Airport. Kevin took off his sunglasses and put them in his leather jacket pocket looking very tired with faded jeans, a black t-shirt, and blue jogging shoes. The two weary agents had just completed a two week sting in Miami and were exhausted. Both men were looking forward to a couple of weeks off. Kevin was heading to the coast around Wilmington. His parents had a beach house and he was going to enjoy some peace and quiet alone. Roy and his wife Louise were going to Norfolk to see their son and his family. Kevin wouldn't be surprised if when they came back Roy announced his retirement.

The two men grabbed their luggage in a private area and started to head to the parking lot to pick up their car. Roy put his arm around Kevin and said, "Kid you handled yourself brilliantly, I've seen agents with twice your years wet themselves when they were staring down a 44 like that. You're gonna be a great one. I'm very proud of you."

Kevin nodded and said, "Thanks boss man. I wouldn't made it this far without you. I've learned more from you then I could ever learn in a lifetime at the academy."

The bond between the two men was strong, and now more than ever Kevin knew he would soon be needing a new partner. Just then a black SUV rolled up to them and stopped. An agent jumped and asked, "Agents Mach & Briscoe?"

Roy asked, "Who's asking?"

The agent flashed his badge and replied, "Agent Sherman. Would you give your keys to me and both of you get in the vehicle you're needed back at HQ right away." She looked at another agent and gave him the keys to the car. Sherman said, "Get their luggage and the vehicle to HQ." The other agent was gone in a flash and Sherman motioned for the two men to get in. Roy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Since you asked so nicely."

Mach followed his friend into the SUV and they were moving before the door closed. Mach looked at Roy and said, "Maybe they're so happy to see us their taking us to Starbucks."

Roy shook his head and said, "Yeah keep telling yourself that kid. Things like this rarely are they happy fun time for us. Something big must be on the horizon this ain't no debrief."

The SUV stopped in parking garage at HQ and everyone got out. Sherman looked at Mach said, "Follow me Agent Mach. Agent Briscoe will you follow the other agents please."

Kevin looked at Roy and said, "Nice knowing you." Roy replied, "If you see a bright peaceful light go to it." The two men smiled at one another as they went their separate ways. Mach was on an elevator with Sherman and asked, "So what's this about?"

She replied, "Not at liberty to say Agent Mach I was ordered to pick you and Agent Briscoe up and bring you back here." Mach nodded and said, "Oh got it. So you come here often?"

Sherman looked at him and said, "The legendary Mach charm and wit are lost on me Agent Mach, so please don't try." Mach nodded and said, "Ah so you wanna get a cup of coffee later? I really am not as immature as I come off in my psych eval." Sherman shook her head and replied, "No you're even more so in person." Mach nodded again and said, "Oh Darlene in IT must've spoken to you. Look I don't care what she says I think she was having a great time. Right until the part where I asked if she could pay for her own extra value meal." Sherman did everything she could to stifle a laugh and Mach smirked as the elevator stopped. The two got off the elevator and entered a long hallway with a metal door at the end of it. Sherman entered a code on a key pad as the door opened slowly. Mach said, "I promise I'll spring for the milk shakes after the meal." Sherman rolled her eyes and gave a smile to Mach as she walked away.

A voice then said, "Agent Kevin Mach get in here right now!" Mach entered a dimly lit conference room. Seated were three gentlemen with I-Pads and very stern expressions. One of them said, "Have a seat Agent Mach." Kevin sat down and one of them said, "This meeting is classified and off the record is that understood Agent Mach." Kevin nodded and replied, "Of course sir."

The man who spoke first said, "My name is Deputy Director Chavez I work out of DC and I am a liaison officer between branchs. The gentleman to my right you know only on letter head as Director Feldich Director of this branch, and this special OPS coordinator Pierce. Agent Mach what do you know about Lia & Renzo Borriello?"

Mach shrugged his shoulders and said, "They're co-heads of one of the largest corporations in the Midwest based out of Chicago."

Feldich asked, "And?"

Mach nodded and said, "Rumored to be one of the biggest, if not the biggest, mob families east of the Mississippi."

Chavez replied, "Those aren't rumors Agent Mach. We're in a delicate phase of our operation to take them down once and for all. We get them a lot of families will go like dominoes"

Pierce touched his I-Pad a few times and surveillance images filled the screen at the end of the table. He said, "We've been hearing whispers from various sources about a lot of things getting ready to happen with the family. What we are looking to do is put someone in the organization to learn and confirm. Take no actions at all. You are to observe and report and you are flying solo."

Mach asked, "Excuse me?"

Feldich replied, "Roy Briscoe is a fine agent and a good man, but he's starting to show his age. We feel you're ready to go Agent Mach."

Pierce touched his I-Pad again and a file with Mach's backstory filled the screen along with a picture of Mach wearing new glasses that made him wince. Pierce said, "Your name is Rick Cooper. You're from Raleigh coming to Chicago. You're an accountant doing independent auditing for the company getting things ready for the annual company audit."

Mach said under his breath, "Please tell me that there's a red 'S' under that suit to go with my glasses."

Chavez said, "You are strictly on your own Mach. No contact with us, your family, or Roy Briscoe. We will contact you if we have to, and that will only be in extreme cases. Remember gather information, observe, and when the time comes report."

Mach nodded and asked, "When do I leave?"

Chavez pressed a button on the table and said, "Agent Sherman please report back here at once"

Feldich replied, "In 20 minutes you are on a flight to Chicago. We got you set up in an apartment, you got clothes already there, all the proper ID the works. According to your cover story you arrived late last night. This is a surprise inspection so no one will be expecting you. They'll set you up in an office and show you around typical first day crap. At some point you're gonna meet the family, because one way they've been keeping out of trouble is their bookkeeping. They're gonna wanna make sure that you know what you're doing. Be careful and under no circumstance do you try to bust any of them even if they show you everything in their operation! Observe and report back when we call."

Mach nodded and said, "Fair enough sir." The door opened and Chavez said, "On your way Agent Mach." Mach stuck his hand out and Feldich replied, "Remember this meeting never happened." All three just looked at Mach and Mach said, "Right."

Mach and Sherman left on got on the elevator. Mach was in complete silence trying to figure out what just happened. As the elevator stopped and the doors opened the two exited the elevator. Mach started to climb back in the SUV and he saw Roy getting in his car. The two men looked at one another for a moment. Roy had a look of concern across his face that Kevin had never seen before. Roy nodded and Kevin gave a two finger salute as he entered the SUV. They quickly sped away and when they arrived at an airport hanger Agent Sherman made sure there was no id on Kevin identifying him as Kevin Mach. Mach was given a new hair cut, a new pair of glasses, a suit, his id, a suitcase with some clothes in it, and an airline ticket with the name Rick Cooper on it.

Sherman looked on her smart phone and then opened a door leading out and said, "Okay the systems are down time to go." She approached Mach and said, "You got five minutes to get from here into the airport terminal, and to your flight. Good luck Mr. Cooper."

Mach smiled and said, "Thank you."

With that Kevin Mach was left behind as Rick Cooper made it into the terminal and boarded his flight to Chicago.

[AgniSpirit]

The morning sun beautifully gleamed off the marble floor that lined one of the many hallways of the Barriello family estate. However, unlike the other hallways, this hallway echoed with the sound of heels clicking rather violently against the expensive floor. A woman in her late twenties strode down the hall as if on a mission, strands of her brown hair falling out from her tight bun. She round the next corner where a set of double doors awaited her, along with a tall, heavily-built, bald-headed man with a scar over his left eye. Yet at the sight of the brunette, the man immediately bowed at her presence.

"Ms. Barriello." He greeted curtly as he opened one of the doors to her. Lia simply nodded and walked in without another word. Inside was what would have been an elegantly furnished suite if it wasn't for all the wine bottles and clothes strewn about. Lia didn't even blink an eye as she passed the living area and to another set of double doors on the far end of the left wall. She pulled the doors apart and was greeted with a couple of high pitched screams. On the large, king-sized bed sitting in the middle of the room were two busty women and one light-brown haired man, all tangled up together.

"Out," Lia stated, sending a stern glare at the two women, "now." The women quickly untangled themselves from the man and ran out of the room in a flash, leaving the two similar looking adults in the room. Once they were gone, Lia turned her glare at her twin.

"Get dressed, we're supposed to be at the company headquarters in half an hour." She ordered. However, Renzo Barriello simply yawned and stretched.

"Calm down Lia, it's not like we don't own the company or anything. We can be there whenever we want." He replied, "We don't even have to be there at all. Why are we going again?" Lia sighed as she got a quick glance at the mirror. Her hair was a mess. Pulling the scrunchie out of her hair, Lia let her long hair down for only a second before tying it back up.

"We need to make our meeting with the Yakuza look as legitimate as possible. Plus, I want to ensure Mr. Kawashima that we do have the means to fund this merge."

"Right. And if all this goes well, we can go to Japan?"

"Yes, Renzo. We can go to Japan. Now hurry up."

"Yeah, yeah." The older twin finally climbed out of bed, showing off all his naked glory. But again, Lia didn't even try to turn away. They had been together since the day they were born and were closer than most siblings. Even though he annoyed her to the point of migraines, she would rather have them than run their mafia organization alone. It was thanks to him that most of the men even followed her orders when they first took over their father's place.

Twenty minutes later, Renzo was fully dressed and ready to go and the Barriello twins headed out to the awaiting limousine. It took them another twenty minutes to get to their headquarters in downtown Chicago. Lia's assistant met with them at the door and followed them to the elevator.

"Mr. Kawashima is already waiting for you in conference room 1." He told them. Lia gave Renzo a look.

"See what happens when we aren't on time?" Renzo gave her a carefree shrug as they walked through the open elevator doors.

"At least we're fashionably late?" Lia just rolled her eyes and was about to reply with a retort when her assistant cut her off.

"Also, we've received a surprise visit." This time, Lia and Renzo both turned their identical gazes at the assistant.

"Surprise visit?" Renzo asked inquisitively.

"Yes sir. His name is Rick Cooper and is an independently-contracted accountant here to aid us with our annual company audit."

"That is very surprising." Lia stated.

"Where is he from?" Renzo asked.

"Raleigh, North Carolina." Renzo physically flinched.

"Gross."

"Do you know who exactly hired him?"

"He was hired by one of our satellite companies and was recommended to come to headquarters. He is already waiting in his new office."

"And this is why we should come here more often. So we can keep track of all these new people." Lia told Renzo in a matter-of-fact tone, "Now it's time to pick. Who do you want to deal with?"

"He's from North Carolina. You can deal with him." Renzo said just as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Lia just sighed and walked out the doors. Her assistant tried to follow her but she stopped him.

"No, you watch him." She ordered as she pulled the tablet out of his hands, "Make sure he doesn't say anything stupid."

"C'mon Lia, when have I ever messed up a conference?"

"The last time we were here."

"Oh... Right." The conversation ended there when the doors closed in on them but Lia was still shaking her head. She hoped he didn't mess up too much but if he really focused, he would be able to get the Yakuza on their side. Glancing down at the tablet, she went over her assistant's notes and found the office number where this accountant was located at. She traveled down the halls until she reached the open door of the assigned office.

"Mr. Cooper?" She called out while taking a step inside, "Are you in here?"

[MST3K 4ever]

Rick was gazing out the window at the Chicago Skyline.The buildings rising up to touch the sky and the people scurrying about looking like ants at a picnic made him shake his head briefly as he said in a tone slightly above a whisper, "Toto I don't think we're in Raleigh anymore." He adjusted his gray tie that went with his beige suit and brown loafers. As much as he hated the look on a lot of levels Rick had to admit he did look good in his suit. Even though he thought for sure he could pass for Clark Kent's twin brother.

Rick had a working knowledge of how companies like this worked, and since he looked like an accountant the Bureau made sure he knew all the in and outs. Of course the Barriellos were always able to keep things in order to prevent any red-flags from going up. From what Rick could see the Barriello books were pretty tight all the way up to last year. This year's books though on the surface looked solid, but there were definite cracks in the armor showing up. Whoever had been doing them was not as sharp as they had been in the past. Clearly they were focused on something else, and did just enough to keep things looking legit. However all it would take was one over eager accountant to do some digging behind the numbers, and boom the house of cards goes down hard. Rick knew that the Bureau would never settle for arresting the Barriello family on Tax Issues. The Government had to settle for that when they went after Al Capone, but the guys that Rick (or Kevin) knew wanted blood and to make names for themselves. They wanted this family on murder, gun-running, drugs, the headline grabbing stuff. Following the money where the money led to was the first step for most of these guys on their way up the status ladder.

Just then Rick heard a voice behind him call out his name. He turned and suddenly he was face to face with Lia Barriello. Rick was expecting to see a lot of things today to see Lia Barriello was not on that list. He was actually expecting to see a sub-ordinate from accounting or maybe even a lawyer, but seeing Lia was a surprise. It went without saying Lia was a beautiful woman and looked way better than her pictures. Granted those were grainy black and white photos pulled off of surveillance footage, but even in those Lia had nothing to be ashamed of in the looks department. Rick also realized that if Lia was going to be involved in this he was dealing with a very smart woman, and that he needed to be on his "A" game.

Rick replied trying to cover his Southern Drawl (although not very successfully), "Yes Hello Miss Barriello. Rick Cooper I represent the accounting firm of Montgomery, Holden, and Miller. An outside independent accounting firm contracted to go over your bookkeeping. "

He motioned to the bookkeeping report on the table. The report looked exactly like Webster's Dictionary . Just as thick and it was even hardbound with gold lettering that stated, "Barriello Inc. Tax Summary for Fiscal Year 2013." Rick said, "I went through the first 10 pages on the flight in last night, and to be honest Miss Barriello there are things that I have found so far that might be considered questionable in terms of the bookkeeping."

Rick looked at Lia and said, "In comparison to the previous years when you and your brother took over for your late father those books were sharp and tight. This one not so much from what I've read so far. Not enough inconsistencies to call the bookkeeping into question as of right now, however if there are even more obvious inconsistencies, or an eager auditor should get a hold of this then you and your brother could get a call from the IRS and they would probably suggest that you bring a lawyer with you."

Rick took a deep breath and said, "I realize that this is not the kind of news you want to hear so early in the day, but I have a job to do and if I wasn't honest with you Miss Barriello I wouldn't be doing my job, and you and your company would be in a lot of trouble."

[AgniSpirit]

Rick Cooper looked every bit like the accountant Lia expected him to be. Clean-cut, bespectacled and wearing nothing remotely close to colorful. All in all, boring. Honestly, she shouldn't have been judging. Here she was dressed in a dark maroon pantsuit with black, no-nonsense pumps and barely any accessories save for the pearl earrings. She envied some of the women who worked in her company who could gallivant through the office halls in a skirt or frilly blouse, not caring if they were seen as women. Maybe Lia wanted to dress pretty too, but no she had to keep up some kind of masculinity to stay above the rest of her male cohorts. She couldn't let Renzo deal with everything.

Lia shook those selfish thoughts from her mind immediately after Rick began to speak, trying his best to hide his Southern accent. Lia placed a hand on her face to feign interest in what he was saying to cover a smile. It was kind of cute, in a way. However, she soon became very interested in what the accountant had to say about the company's overall bookkeeping, especially when she found out it wasn't as intact as she would have liked. At the end of his explanation, he apologized for giving her such grave news already but she just shook her head.

"No, it's fine. I'd rather we get down to business than have to go through some awkward, introductory chit chat." She replied, "I'm impressed with what you've accomplished so far in the last few hours since you've arrived in Chicago.." Lia walked further inside the barren office, looking around to see if he had decorated the place yet. He had just arrived so probably not.

"I've heard good things about you Mr. Cooper, and the work you've done with our satellite companies," She continued, even though she was bluffing this time around, "And it gives me hope that you will become an excellent member of our staff during your time here. Seeing as you've already discovered a lot in our books, I think it would only be necessary to give you a position that gives you as much access to it as possible. I can't make it official yet without my brother giving his consent, but consider it an pre-promotion. Now then, I suppose I should show you around before going over your duties here at Barriello Inc. Follow me." She walked out of his office and down the hall, knowing he would be following close by.

She began the tour on his floor, which was one of the many accounting areas in their building. Lia introduced Rick to several accounting managers, including the head accountant who profusely apologized for the sloppy bookkeeping when she pointed it out. Then, she took Rick down the floors to tour the other departments, like human resources and advertisement. She even went out of her way to give him the tour of their cafeteria, though she listed off several great restaurants in walking distance of the building.

"So, any questions?" Lia finally asked him as they headed back to the elevators. However, before Rick could answer, one of the elevator doors opened to reveal Renzo Barriello and several members of the Yakuza. Lia wasn't too worried about who saw them though; to any normal person they just looked like Japanese businessmen. Renzo was laughing it up with an older member of the group as they stepped off the elevator when her twin finally noticed her and Rick.

"Hey Lia! I was just telling Mr. Kawashima about our last trip to Las Vegas. He's thinking of stopping by before going back home!" He exclaimed.

"Right," Lia replied, giving the Japanese group a steady smile, "I hope my brother wasn't too much of a hastle, Kawashima-san."

"No, he was an excellent host." The older man replied with a grin of his own, "I look forward to doing business with you Ms. Barriello. Good day." He and the rest of his entourage bowed at the Barriello twins before heading out the front doors and to their awaiting town cars. It wasn't until they were gone when Renzo finally noticed the newcomer.

"You must be the new accountant we got from North Carolina." He announced, his voice dripping with fake hospitality, "What was your name again? Looper? Scooper?"

"It's Rick Cooper, Renzo." Lia corrected.

"Right, right. How's your first day been Ricky?" Renzo asked, feigning innocence in the presence of his sister.

[MST3K 4ever]

Rick nodded when Lia offered him the "pre-promotion" and said, "Thank you ma'am. Sorry about the accent I try not to let it out, because if people hear the first thing they think is 'Gomer Pyle is in the big city probably dumber than a sack of hammers.' so I try not to let that get in my way." He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I'm also a little nervous right now. Less than 24 hours ago I was back home in Raleigh now I'm in one of the largest corporations in the world telling the co-CEO that something is wrong with her bookkeepers and accountants. Kind of thing doesn't happen to me everyday you know." Rick then smiled at Lia and said, "I look forward to getting a lot of things done here."

Rick followed Lia throughout the building and made notes along the way. Rick was sure of one thing, and that was Lia was the power behind the throne. She was beautiful but there was a mind like a steel trap too, and woe be to the one who under-estimated her. She knew people by their first names and titles and rattled them off like there were second nature. Lia was interested in the people who worked for her and that said a lot about who she was. Rick had to remind himself periodically of one fact. The fact that he was supposed to help bust her at some point so it was important to remember that she was one of the bad-guys.

As they walked along Rick looked at the people in the offices and their body language as they did their jobs. This was an environment where there was a strong sense of community and willingness to help one another. It was a unique situation to say the least, and not to mention that from what Rick could tell their charitable foundation was on the up and up, and gave millions around the world. Again though Rick had to remind himself these people were the bad guys.

Rick started to say something just the elevator doors opened up and out stepped Renzo. That alone would've caught Rick's attention, but exiting with Renzo was several members of the Yakuza. It was like a mob dream team meeting here, and Rick was starting to put two and two together very quickly. Mr. Kawashima was one of the big names in the Yakuza and he didn't come to America on social calls.

Renzo started talking to Rick, and Rick was convinced that if it wasn't for the fact that Renzo was born into this family he would've ended up being a used car salesman. Rick's little voice was telling him that Renzo was the one who took great pride and pleasure in doing the old school stuff for the family. Renzo loved the mafia lifestyle and enjoyed the many fruits of it, but there was something about Lia that while she was involved in all of this it wasn't really who she was.

Renzo calling Rick "Ricky" was not something Rick appreciated, but he didn't exactly have the home field advantage in this case, so he let it go. Rick replied (without any attempt at covering his accent), "Well it's the usual first day stuff Mr. Barriello. Getting the lay of the land, seeing how things work here, talking with Miss Barriello about the accounting department and some ways to improve things. The thing I'm really looking forward to actually is just getting down to business sir. That and fixing up my apartment, and getting a car. I just got in last night so things are bit whirl wind for this country boy sir."

[AgniSpirit]

"Wow, this guy's the real deal Lia!" Renzo chuckled as he slung an arm around Rick's shoulders, "You really sound like a hick!"

"Renzo! Be nice!" Lia reprimanded.

"I am! Can you blame me for being so excited? It's the first time I've met a real redneck before." Lia let out an angry sigh before pulling her twin off the poor accountant.

"Focus Renzo. Can we go up to the office and discuss Mr. Cooper's position in the company?" To her annoyance, Renzo spun around and began to walk away.

"You handle it sis, I'm done for today."

"What?!"

"Hey, you were the one who said that all we would be doing was meeting with Mr. Kawashima." Renzo replied over his shoulder, "Besides, all that accounting and what not is up your alley, not mine." With that said, he continued his stride towards the front doors.

"But we're supposed to decide on this together!" Lia called out to him, but Renzo simply waved her off.

"You got this sis!" He called out. It was taking everything Lia had to not scream out her frustration but she held it back. Instead, she let out another sigh as she turned back to Rick.

"I'm sorry about that; he's not like this all the time." She stated, wincing a little at her white lie, "He's just... excitable." And politically incorrect, she thought, but decided to keep that comment to herself.

"However, he's given the go ahead to promote you without his consent which does make things a whole lot easier." She began as she turned to face him, "So congratulations Mr. Cooper, you're the new Chief Tax Accountant. Since you just came in last night, we can go ahead and settle all the paperwork tomorrow morning. You deserve some sleep. Unless you're up to some tedious signing right now."

[MST3K 4ever]

Rick kept his cool with Renzo, but every fiber of his being was begging for one thing; to get him alone in an interrogation room with faulty equipment. In that situation there was no doubt in his mind that Kevin Mach would show up. In that case Renzo would be spending the next 6 months learning how to eat solid food again. All that being said Rick had to take it all in stride with an "aww shucks" look on his face the whole time.

Seeing how he treated Lia also made Rick wanna punch his lights out. She was the brains in the operation be there no doubt, but there was more to her than anyone else realized. Rick was learning fast that without Lia this whole operation was ripe for a take over. Which made Rick wonder if the operation merge with Yakuza was more of a Lia idea, or something to make sure that if she was out of the way Renzo wouldn't screw it up? Lots of questions to be asked, and not a lot of answers...yet.

Rick walked over to Lia and said, "I think I could handle the paperwork now. This way once I come to work tomorrow I can get right down to business. I'll spend the rest of the day getting settled into my new apartment as well. Most of my stuff arrived as I was coming in here this morning, so all that's left is to set up shop as it were. Frankly I hate unpacking and setting up a kitchen."

Rick nodded and said, "Thank you for the promotion Miss Barriello. I won't let you down. Now in terms of your brother he's..." Rick shook his head and said "Well let's just say there are a lot more guys like him back home then here. Fancy boys from L-A, New York, and DC think they know more than all of us who live in the area and work in the field. I've been called worse ma'am you don't need to say anything else about him. Besides he is what he is. He's the public face the company. Brash and charismatic while you are certainly the one makes the company go. If I was going into a major negotiations you're the one I'm picking ten times out of ten."

The elevator arrived and Rick said, "Shall we take care of business, and I'll be on my way. I suspect you get more important things to do than play office tour guide to the redneck from the south."

Rick boarded the elevator and awaited Lia to join him.