<Snipped quote by Stabby>
shinji:
Every bit.... but I cant go back. That me is long dead.
At least you can acknowledge that. For many, they struggle with that first step, and almost never take the ones that follow.
Because the point of this isn't to fix anything, it's to stablize it enough so that you can properly make decisions again. This means coming to terms with who you currently are, and who you want to be from here on out.